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Chakramaster

So it's been Awhile

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Man it's been some time since I last made one of these huh? Time flies I guess.

So in case a lot of you didn't really notice. Late May to about June 20th I think it was? Can't remember when exactly. I was undergoing a really, really hard time. I can't tell you how....upset I guess the word is? I'd rather not use the word depressed. Though in a way it felt that way. No matter what I did. I just...didn't feel like myself. It really shot down my activity both here on PXR, Discord, watching anything, doing any work, and heck even gaming. I felt more aggressive too. Though it never showed at work. I didn't have any issues at work (thankfully) other than one day a customer complained saying "he didn't like my attitude" and when he complained all he had to say was "he started checking inside my shoe box and I didn't like that. All I asked for was a price." Okay so first of all. You walk alllllll the way from the back of the store. Bypassing any Footwear associate, the actual price scanner in the department itself, and not one, not 2, not 3, but 4 price scanners on the way up to the front. Just to ask me a price? Sounds fishy enough as it is. Other co-workers raised a few eyebrows and talked to the managers cause they know I don't cause issues. The manager himself that talked to me (just to make sure it appeased the guy) said "the guy was just being an *******."

it's just little things like that, that get to me though. During the same time I was already having some issues. Really didn't help me mentally in any way after having weird and bad altercations like that. Games, anime, anything I loved to do. It just didn't have any impact on me in a positive way. It was like I was on repeat. Seeing things I didn't like only made me feel worse. Knowing I could be doing better and being more and failing to do so. Well it hit kinda hard too. There's so much more potential! I knew this and that bothered me. Being on that repeat I would work, getting through every day was tough there, get home, eat, sleep, wake up, eat dinner, play a game a little in hopes of keeping my mind at ease and distracted, then sleep some more. To no avail; none of it helped. Heck, it's part of the reason with the new idea I brought up here recently has had NO progress on it. For a good week of so I had a SURGE in aspiration and creativity. Which is where the idea originally sparked from. I had ideas FLYING out of me I think I bugged Neo a little too much on the creative wall for bouncing off ideas. Then suddenly....it all dropped and it all fell to pieces.

Until recently. I have NO idea what perked me up or what sparked me back into a good mood. Cause literally nothing changed to make me feel better. I've felt great! Been able to smile much more again, had a great time with friends and been more creative again. Not as creative as I was coming up with my original idea, but still a WHOLE lot better in mood and creativity. I've been more active and actively working on what I know needs to be done (both here at the house and on the forum. SPAM BOTS AND THREADS BE GONE! xD). Helping the forum look a bit more tidy in areas by clearing out that clutter and such. Now I'm gonna be hard at it getting that event worked on.

So here is hoping to that nothing happens any time soon to ruin that good mood I've been in! Things are looking much better for now. So hopefully this good mood can stick around for a long time to come and only help bring out more greatness! Thanks to those of you that are always here to look after each other and give help where help is needed. It's always nice to be able to come here to a place where I can talk to those I'll always consider my good friends! =D

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  1. Neo Emolga's Avatar
    Yeah, I have a feeling something was up because you weren't your usual self.

    Great to see you back in action, though! You gotta love those bursts of inspiration and drive. :3
  2. Scytherwolf's Avatar
    I'm glad you've been happier lately! I hope it lasts for quite a while!
  3. Cleobel's Avatar
    @Chakramaster Thank you for the update! Sorry to hear that you had a difficult time. :/ I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better now! I hope it lasts for as long as possible. :)
  4. Suicune's Fire's Avatar
    Aw, Chakky. Sorry for not really checking up on you. It sucks when mindsets like that take over. I've definitely had them, and will again, I'm sure. Sometimes routine helps, and sometimes it gets so repetitive that you feel like you're in Groundhog Day.

    It's awesome to hear that you perked back up again. :) It sounds like a chemical thing, but who knows, haha. Keep finding things that drive you and make you smile. It makes all the difference.
  5. Chakramaster's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Neo Emolga
    Yeah, I have a feeling something was up because you weren't your usual self.

    Great to see you back in action, though! You gotta love those bursts of inspiration and drive. :3
    Yeah I'm still not sure what it was that was causing it. I'm sure a lot of things around here that were happening weren't helping either.

    Oh yeah I'm glad to have my drive back! Not to mention that reminds me. I've got an idea for Stalkers to drop by you later that you might like. Yes....another ;p heheheh.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scytherwolf
    I'm glad you've been happier lately! I hope it lasts for quite a while!
    Thanks Scytherwolf! :) yeah I'm glad whatever it was dragging me down is gone now too. Hopefully I can keep it ongoing for now! :D

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleobel
    @Chakramaster Thank you for the update! Sorry to hear that you had a difficult time. :/ I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better now! I hope it lasts for as long as possible. :)
    I always try to keep everyone here updates. Sometimes I wait and sometimes I wait too long. Hopefully I never wait too long. Difficult and all yeah it was pretty rough. I wish I knew what it was causing it, but sadly I could never figure it out. At least it's all in the past now. Hopefully I can keep up the good mood for as long as possible! :D

    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire
    Aw, Chakky. Sorry for not really checking up on you. It sucks when mindsets like that take over. I've definitely had them, and will again, I'm sure. Sometimes routine helps, and sometimes it gets so repetitive that you feel like you're in Groundhog Day.

    It's awesome to hear that you perked back up again. :) It sounds like a chemical thing, but who knows, haha. Keep finding things that drive you and make you smile. It makes all the difference.
    Well tough part is, is that I didn't make it too apparent. I didn't even talk about it. I tried to keep everything to myself while staying active as I felt here so I didn't just disappear. I'd rather not do that unless it's something super important that needs immediate attention. But yeah it kept my full attention away from everything and it sucked BIG time. I wanted so badly to help with the Discord thing, but it dragged me down so much I couldn't mindfully do anything in a good and well state. I try doing new things, but it didn't help much

    Yeah thanks, Xanthe. I really appreciate all you guys checking in on me after I post this up. I'm glad to be in a right mind state again! Let's hope it won't happen again for a long long, loooooooong time. Heck I tried to most days, but most music or things I liked didn't even help. Which is very odd. So let's hope I can keep the good times going strong!