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  1. #1
    // r a w r Fate's Avatar
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    The Above Poster's Obituary

    Let's bring out our morbid sides and have some laughs. Write an obituary for the person above you. It can be as long or as short as you want. Things you can write about include but are not limited to the location of the body, the cause of death, the person's achievements in life, and how the person will be remembered.

    Be crazy, be creative, but don't be inappropriate. No personal attacks and nothing totally graphic or tasteless, please.

    Example (SORRY, @Neo Emolga; first thing to come to my mind):
    "Neo was found lying on the kitchen floor, a half-eaten apple in his hand and cores all around. He had been a greedy Emolga and consumed way too many apples. Sadly for Neo, there was no pretty prince to revive him."
    Well, then. Who or what is responsible for my unfortunate death? And how is the world celebrating?
    Last edited by Fate; 06-22-2016 at 11:23 AM.

  2. #2
    Cheers and good times! Neo Emolga's Avatar
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    I live, I die, I live again!

    Fate was found deceased early Wednesday morning after having attempted to bathe in a vat of melted cheese. Forensics have found that the consistency of the melted cheese caused Fate to be sucked into its cheesy goodness and as a result, Fate drowned in the cheese. Family and friends of Fate have asked that this cheese, which was Fate's passion, not go to waste, and that it be considered the next time they decide to eat pizza and want to sample Fate and his many flavors.
    Easy cheesy.

  3. #3
    // r a w r Fate's Avatar
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    What the hell. xD

    Last night, a strange creature was found washed upon the shore of a New Jersey beach. He possessed the bodies of both a man and a fish. The discovery of this merman stunned scientists across the world. He was the first of his kind to be seen and likely the last. Unfortunately, the merman was already dead upon his discovery.

    A scuba diver who was searching for rare fish claimed to have seen the merman while he was still alive. "I saw him," the scuba diver said. "He was doing push-ups on the ocean floor. I think he was exercising."

    Chitter, a dolphin who knew the merman personally, reached out to us. He told us that the merman's name is Neo and that his dream was to grow a pair of legs. That dream will not come true, it seems.

    Neo's cause of death has been determined to be alcohol poisoning. It is uncertain how it happened, but witnesses claim they saw two yellow, mouse-like creatures dumping kegs of beer into the beach near the area where Neo loved to swim. Officer Jennies all across New Jersey are looking into this claim.

  4. #4
    Used Thunderbolt! Arrow-Jolteon's Avatar
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    This morning a decomposed body was found in the woods next to the city. The body has been identified as that of Fate, who had been missing for two weeks. The body was surrounded by dozens of plushies, which have been identified as being those a Pokemon known as "Absol". According to family and friends, Absol was Fate's favorite character, and Fate claimed that one day he would obtain the creature's ability to predict natural disasters. Polie believe that Fate had taken the plushies to the woods in order to try and predict any natural disasters that could happen, but Fate was unlucky in more ways than one; Fate ended up being suffocated by one of his own beloved Absol plushies in his sleep. Our hearts go out to him, his family and friends.
    Well, I tried :P

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  6. #5
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Late last night just outside the Fun and Games section of the Pokemon Crossroads Forums, the body of a Jolteon was found. The cause of death is still unknown but is speculated to be exhaustion from running around too fast. The Jolteon has been identified as Arrow-Jolteon, a moderator on Pokemon Crossroads known best for her Daily Pokemon Opinions threads. A will has yet to be located but once it has we hope to determine who to designate the new leader of the opinions threads to.
    I'm no good at this so here let's try this.
    / / / / / / / /
    Avatar by Soggymint
    Double Agents with Suicune's Fire

  7. #6
    // r a w r Fate's Avatar
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    I would totally wanna die from Absol suffocation. xD

    Earlier today, police investigated a house after having received numerous complaints from neighbors about a strange odor coming from it. It was described as a combination of rotting flesh and book pages. Police entered the door to find just that.

    Noble, the house's resident, was found under a large pile of books. Her body is estimated to have been there for days.

    On the table was a book titled The Art of Fortmaking. It is assumed that Noble was attempting to build a book fort following instructions from the The Art of Fortmaking. Unfortunately, she must have been unaware that the book is inaccurate in its directions, which may have led to the collapse of her fort and her death.

    While Noble's horrible end is seen as an accident, her family is suing Arthur MacNeille, the author of The Art of Fortmaking, for providing faulty instructions on how to build a fort.

  8. #7
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Bruh book forts are awesome.

    Earlier today a corpse was found in a house after many witnesses saw what they could only describe as a skeleton dragging a mad hatter down the street from the house. Police investigated the house and found the corpse of a man later identified as Fate. Fate looked totally fine on the outside but further investigation revealed that he had gone completely insane to the point that his brain shut off. Upon prompting the mad hatter and skeleton, the mad hatter replied, "He tried to convince me he was more insane than me, but who's laughing now?"
    / / / / / / / /
    Avatar by Soggymint
    Double Agents with Suicune's Fire

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  10. #8
    After two terrible months of searching, the body of Alphys has been discovered amongst decomposing memes in the nearby garbage dump. It is speculated that she was waiting for Frisk to arrive so that they could begin their date, but seemingly forgot to eat, drink or sleep whilst marathoning Sword Art Online on her portable DVD player. Undyne arrived at the scene after police had covered it in tape, and reportedly picked up and threw aside anyone who was in her way to get to the body of her beloved. Undyne is currently trying to revive the lifeless body of Alphys by poking her in various places with giant blue spears.
    RIP, Alphys. <3

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  12. #9
    Used Thunderbolt! Arrow-Jolteon's Avatar
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    We have terrible, terrible news: earlier this morning Undyne passed away. Cause of death is still unknown, but authorities suspect awesomeness overlead, because Undyne was just that awesome. She will be sorely missed. What's more, this guarantees we may have lost Alphys for good as well, since Undyne was the one trying to revive her. It truly is a sad, sad day...
    Clearly I'm creatively deprived today XP

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  14. #10
    // r a w r Fate's Avatar
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    Just last night, Arrow was murdered in her luxurious nineteen-bedroom box by an unknown person. She--Oh no. I think the person who murdered Arrow might be going after me. I hear footsteps. I'm not sure if I can even finish typing this sentesakjmfsaQsa
    d / a;s;'CSF.
    DS/
    I just woke up, okay? xP

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