The Above Poster's Obituary

**Fate** · 01-08-2018, 01:27 PM

The world weeps today for the loss of Xanthe--yes, because she's the only one in the whole world with that name. All her life, she dreamed of one thing and one thing only: opening up a Thai business. She finally got her dream a few months back.

However, upon opening her business--an air-drying laundromat called Thai-phoon--her envious neighbor decided to one-up her and open his own Thai business right across from hers. It was a clothing store for giants which he named Thai-tan. Xanthe's competitive spirit got the better of her. She tore down her laundromat and started a new business to upstage her neighbor: a real estate firm which she called Thai-coon. Her neighbor did not let up. This back and forth exchange resulted in the construction and destruction of many businesses, including but not limited to Thai-ger, a big-cat cafe; Thai-breaker, a company which specialized in settling disputes; and Thai-rant, an agency which trained aspiring dictators.

This went on and on until Xanthe grew so Thai-red that she could Thai no more and succumbed.

We'll miss you, @Suicune's Fire.

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-09-2018, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by Fate

We'll miss you, @Suicune's Fire.

I just laughed. So hard. Oh my gosh. I showed this to my brother and he and I were just laughing about it for like five minutes straight. XDDD WAY TOO GOOD.

**Fate** · 01-09-2018, 12:09 AM

Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire

I just laughed. So hard. Oh my gosh. I showed this to my brother and he and I were just laughing about it for like five minutes straight. XDDD WAY TOO GOOD.

Bwahahahaha! You're welcome. ;]

Now who wants to off me?

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-09-2018, 01:44 AM

Alright, alright, I will.

A tragic ending has come for PXR's resident trendsetter, Fate. Last night he was reportedly spamming the forum with responses to every Fun and Games thread available. His typing only got faster and faster, to the point where he proceeded to break his fingers off. For Fate, PXR was the most important thing in life and the loss of his fingers resulting in his incapacity to type ever again, caused him to die of sadness. After his death, it was reported that his rat took over his screen name and has been posing as Fate ever since.

**Cleobel** · 01-09-2018, 09:07 AM

A funeral was held earlier today for Xanthe, who was almost 24 years old. She really wanted to blow out all the 24 candles in one breath on her birthday cake, and that's why she decided to start practicing yesterday. Unfortunately, due to her excitement, she lit the candles too much and she came too close to them. Consequently, she was killed and completely consumed by the fire. May you rest in peace, Suicune's... Ashes.

@Suicune's Fire

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-09-2018, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by Cleobel

@Suicune's Fire

SUICUNE'S ASHES!!!!!!! XDD I just laughed way too hard at that like an idiot.

**Cleobel** · 01-09-2018, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire

SUICUNE'S ASHES!!!!!!! XDD I just laughed way too hard at that like an idiot.

I'm glad you like it! :D
Now, who wants to make me die? :)

**Suicune's Fire** · 01-09-2018, 09:36 AM

You say that so happily. xD

Sad news has reached our ears tonight, when we learned of Cleobel's tragic death. Her recent attempts at finding a shiny Eevee on her virtual console had brought nothing to fruition, despite her many dedicated hours. Enraged by this, Cleobel became convinced that she would have to insert herself into the game in order to find the Eevee, so she did, but landed right in the middle of Team Rocket's hideout in the Celadon Game Corner. The Team Rocket Grunts all saw her and flipped out, having never seen a Generation 2 pokemon in a Generation 1 game, and began fighting over who would get to catch this rare new pokemon. However, they simply could not decide, and proceeded to have thumb war after thumb war to find out who would win. This went on for some time, as they were all as terrible at the game as each other. Cleobel soon died of overexposure to idiocy.

**Caite-chan** · 01-09-2018, 04:56 PM

I'll make it short and sweet as many times as Grace has died yet this one she went down in a Grace of Suicune's Fire you know.....gracefully. (Or so we hope.) Anyways she laughed way to hard at what everyone was coming up for her and finally laughed herself to death and even then she laughed about that. (How I don't know but she did.) In conclusion she went down in a blaze of grace while we all (okay maybe just me) pointed and laughed at her because that is what she would have wanted.

**Chibi Altaria** · 01-11-2018, 04:59 AM

Today we mourn the loss of Caite, age 30, commonly known as the Canadian Destroyer. Caite was well known for her ever-groan-inducing remark "that *insert colour here* makes your butt look big". Every time a member of the forum was promoted, Caite would be found welcoming them cheerfully with the afore-mentioend phrase. Little did she know that each time she made the comment, Caite's own butt grew an inch larger. Every time Caite passed by a forum member on her way to the Staff Headquarters, she received queer looks. Caite merely replied with a nod of her head and a smile, thinking they just didn't know how to handle all her fabulousness. It wasn't until she made the same remark to the newly-promoted Eric-saur that Caite realised all those odd looks weren't just because she was incredibly awesome. Her huge butt - suddenly an inch too big - consumed her wholly between its cheeks.

It's saddening news to regret the loss of an intelligent staff member, but at least she will always be remembered fondly as Caite: the Canadian Destroyer whose butt really was too big.

@Caite-chan