"Today was a terrible day because..."

[[Desolate Divine]]

I'm struggling to write this. Phsyically I am pain and struggling to stay awake, so this'll probably take longer that I originally thought.

Long story short, my family loves Venus Bay. It's a small beach town in south eastern Victoria. It started when my mum was a kid and my Grandad bought a block of land there, where they would camp, until a few years later when they built a house. However my grandad was a bit of a hoarder and the house was falling apart with nobody really being able to go up there and maintain it. So it was tricky to get everything going there (electricity, hot water etc) and was full of clutter that Grandad refused to throw out.

Back in 2016, Grandad passed away, and since then, my uncle who was recently separated has lived in the holiday house. And whilst he did a lot to maintain it and it is much better now, he was still living there rent free and it made things hard when one of us wanted to use it. Even though he was extremely accommodating if we'd want to use the house, it was still awkward having to kick him out for the weekend.

However last year, Grandma gave him an ultimatum. He has to buy the house if he wants to keep living there, and Grandma would use it to buy another house in Venus Bay for the family to use. There was a bit of drama but in the end he agreed to it. So over new year, grandma bought another holiday house, just down the road.

So this weekend I was at Venus Bay. The reason for that was this. Easter Saturday fell on my Auntie Kylie's 40th birthday, whilst Easter Monday fell on my mum's birthday. Kylie and her family live about four hours north of us, so we all met up at Venus Bay since it worked really well and we'd struggle to find a better suiting time to have everyone there.

So on Thursday, Grandma, Kylie, her husband Adam and their three kids, Norah (9), Annabel (6) and Eli (2), as well as my mum and stepdad came to Venus Bay, whilst Greg (mum and Kylie's brother) and his partner Janet as well as a couple of their friends went up on the same day to Greg's house down the road.

I couldn't leave on Thursday, and neither could my brother Jed, so we left on Good Friday around midday. Money has been tight for me recently, and my car needs work. Needs new tyres and a service, so Jed drove us up, and on the way, I called Greg's son Scott (my cousin), who was staying with him mum, and convinced him to come up. So we met up at his place, and he followed us there.

And it was a really good weekend. Saturday Night we had a party for mum and Kylie. Scott had to leave Saturday Night because he had work the next day. However it was still a good night.

Then this morning, it all went to hell.

I woke up at 2am, feeling pretty gross, and unable to sleep. Then at 4, I ended up with my face in the toilet. Yep. Gastro. Lost count of how many times I was sick, to the point of having an empty stomach and dry reaching until I was weeping from the pain.

Luckily, it stopped at about 8am, and I ended up sleeping on and off til 1pm. However we had a problem. I was supposed to go home with Jed today, however wasn't in any state to sit in a car for two hours. So it was decided I'd go home with my parents tomorrow and hope it was out of my system by then.

Except there was something I hadn't thought of. The little cousins.

I had spent a lot of time with them that weekend, but they were entertained more so by Jed and Scott. And with Scott leaving the other night, and Jed leaving this afternoon, I am the only one of the big kids left. I am sick as a dog, and have these kids wanting to play with me.

I have been telling them not to get too close because I might make them sick, as have their parents but they still forget that, and really, I just want to have a quiet night in. Luckily everyone has gone out for dinner for Mum's Birthday (since the breakfast we had planned kinda didn't happen with me chucking my guts up), so I am at the house by myself. By the time they get home the three younger kids will have to go to bed. I just hope I can sleep properly tonight.

So as it stands, I don't feel like I am going to vomit, but my arms and legs ache, and I am extremely lethargic. That and my stomach is in excruciating pain from the dry reaching this morning. All I've eaten in the last 24 hours is a slice of toast, as I have no appetite and anything less bland will make me sick. As it stands, I just wanna survive this, and hope it's out of my system by Thursday as I have work, and can't afford to take a sick day.

[[Desolate Divine]]

So I must be a great friend. Like seriously top notch. Best of the best.

Reason I say this is EVERY time I ask a girl out (such as tonight) I get told that they see me as a friend...

I need more beer in this house...

[Scytherwolf]

Okay, this might seem like a silly thing but it's really, really upsetting me, because I'm being blamed for something horrible because of a story I wrote in 2012. This has been going on for years but it came up again now, now when I'm trying to enjoy my vacation with my cousins.

Aside from pokemon, one of my fandoms is a rather lighthearted children's TV show from the early 2000s. My stories are generally more intense than the show, but I'd rate them PG at most.

My friend...I'll call her Sally (not her real name) is also in this fandom writing stories. For the past several years, she has been posting the most graphic, detailed violence. Horrible deaths, murder, torture, maiming, manipulation and cruelty. Across these stories, my favorite characters were murdered, had unnecessary surgeries done on them while they were awake, tortured in some truly messed up ways, forced to watch murder...and then her stories moved on to these beloved characters murdering and torturing each other. She's even written fanfiction of one of my stories (to "fix" it) and most of them involved murder (one was about one of my OCs being tortured to death). I had to stop reading them because they were badly affecting me, but I was polite about it and let Sally do her own thing, just without me reading them. So that's not what this rant is about; this is just there to provide some context.

In my own story in this fandom, there is one violent scene, but I feel like it would only be rated PG (seriously, the stuff in Path of Destiny is way more intense than in this story). I also want to note that my entire story was written beginning to end before I even met Sally. Now, this story of mine means a lot to me. It actually changed the way I write stories (and completely changed the direction of Path of Destiny, because it made me realize what sort of stories I wanted to write). It is one of my favorite stories out of everything I've written.

But Sally is blaming that one violent scene I wrote - and me - for her mental health getting a lot worse. She keeps telling me how it's causing her so much anguish and making everything in her life worse because the violence upset her so much. She's having tons of problems that have been going on for almost 5 years. All this because of a story I wrote that she skimmed (not even read) years ago.

I once asked her why she can write much worse violence, but when I write a violent scene, it's wrong. She said it was about 'control,' that my story upset her because she didn't have control over it like in her own stories, and well, fair enough. She doesn't need to read it. But she won't let it go.

Sally's been on my case about this since 2013. I've told her she doesn't need to read the scene, or even the story at all. But that's not good enough.

It doesn't matter that she doesn't read it. The fact that my story exists is the problem. The story I wrote before I even met her. And I'm to blame for her anguish because I dared to write the story.

I don't know what to do. I can't un-write it. I'm not willing to take the story down. Even if I did, it would still exist somewhere and that would be a problem for her. I've tried helping this person over the years but everything I do seems to make it worse. I've sent Sally a version of the story with the violent scene removed (at her request) but that wasn't good enough either.

This is a nightmare. When I wrote this story, it got me through some bad times and brought me a lot of happiness. When I posted it, I wanted it to bring others happiness too. But now I'm being told it's causing someone's mental health to spiral out of control. I don't know what to think. This is horrifying.

[Scytherwolf]

Update: Sally just messaged me again with how my story is ruining her life. I haven't replied.

The thing is, I can help people with their problems. I can't deal with being blamed for it.

I don't know what to do. I'm really scared.

[Neo Emolga]

Update: Sally just messaged me again with how my story is ruining her life. I haven't replied.

The thing is, I can help people with their problems. I can't deal with being blamed for it.

I don't know what to do. I'm really scared.

Cut her out of your life. She's toxic and you've already tried using reason with her. To me it sounds like she's got major mental instability, but don't feel like whatever she thinks or does is something you're responsible for. What she really needs is a therapist and probably a lot of medication before she decides to carry out these murderous fantasies in real life.

So yeah, block her on messagers, cut whatever connections you have with her, and don't respond to her. If she starts making real life threats, get the police on her. Don't change your ways because of her issues. If she doesn't like you, that's her problem, not yours.

[Scytherwolf]

Cut her out of your life. She's toxic and you've already tried using reason with her. To me it sounds like she's got major mental instability, but don't feel like whatever she thinks or does is something you're responsible for. What she really needs is a therapist and probably a lot of medication before she decides to carry out these murderous fantasies in real life.

So yeah, block her on messagers, cut whatever connections you have with her, and don't respond to her. If she starts making real life threats, get the police on her. Don't change your ways because of her issues. If she doesn't like you, that's her problem, not yours.

I'm definitely thinking of doing that. The weird thing is she's been really nice to me in the past (though...it's been a really long time since she did anything nice for me). But I really can't put up with this anymore. I'd probably be able to deal with it if she wasn't blaming me, but well...here we are. I really hope she's not a violent person in real life. Luckily she lives quite a ways away from me so I think I'd be safe from that.

The weirdest thing about all this? Back in 2013 when she first found my story, she refused to read it because it was mostly adventure and she says adventure is "boring." So she skipped over the adventure chapters and skimmed the rest of it looking, I assume, for any violent parts. (I assume that because when we'd talk about new stories I was writing, she would suggest to me all these violent ideas. That was seriously the ONLY thing she focused on.) But when she found the violent part she hated it and now blames me for all her mental problems.

[Neo Emolga]

I'm definitely thinking of doing that. The weird thing is she's been really nice to me in the past (though...it's been a really long time since she did anything nice for me). But I really can't put up with this anymore. I'd probably be able to deal with it if she wasn't blaming me, but well...here we are. I really hope she's not a violent person in real life. Luckily she lives quite a ways away from me so I think I'd be safe from that.

The weirdest thing about all this? Back in 2013 when she first found my story, she refused to read it because it was mostly adventure and she says adventure is "boring." So she skipped over the adventure chapters and skimmed the rest of it looking, I assume, for any violent parts. (I assume that because when we'd talk about new stories I was writing, she would suggest to me all these violent ideas. That was seriously the ONLY thing she focused on.) But when she found the violent part she hated it and now blames me for all her mental problems.

Yeah, I've had some good friends in the past and they turned to the dark side. They started off as really good people and always seemed fun and nice, and then something berserk happens and they feel more like an enemy than a friend. I had to leave people like that behind behind, but new friends will come along if you open yourself up to new people and give them a chance. New coworkers, joining a club, or meeting new people at the gym and such is a great way to find new and better friends to hang out with.

The fact she's blaming you for her problems when you've done nothing wrong is a sign you've got to let her go before she starts dragging you down with her. Misery likes company and it seems like she wants you there being miserable with her. But the fact she likes to control the violence and hates it when she doesn't is really disturbing. That kind of obsession with violence is a really bad sign and has me worried someday soon she might try to take that fantasy and make it a reality.

You and I are both story writers and we know only to use violence to put characters under pressure, have epic battles of good versus evil and stuff like that. Some of it is okay and you'd be hard-pressed to find an adventure or fantasy novel that doesn't have at least some violence in it. But we don't do it because we just crave the gore and bloodshed for its own sake and that's all we do it for. Even a horror story only uses it as a tool to achieve of fear and pressure, but if it was a never-ending carousel of blood and violence, it would get lame, tasteless, and even stupid.

But in the end, don't change yourself for her sake. And the same goes for your stories. Don't take them down or change them just because someone else disagrees with it (unless you're getting it published and they have a certain criteria they want to use, which is a totally different story). At the end of the day, it's always good to listen to advice and weigh the pros and cons of different decisions based on what you hear, but it's still your creation and it's still your call. No one has the right to take that from you.

[Scytherwolf]

Yeah, I've had some good friends in the past and they turned to the dark side. They started off as really good people and always seemed fun and nice, and then something berserk happens and they feel more like an enemy than a friend. I had to leave people like that behind behind, but new friends will come along if you open yourself up to new people and give them a chance. New coworkers, joining a club, or meeting new people at the gym and such is a great way to find new and better friends to hang out with.

The fact she's blaming you for her problems when you've done nothing wrong is a sign you've got to let her go before she starts dragging you down with her. Misery likes company and it seems like she wants you there being miserable with her. But the fact she likes to control the violence and hates it when she doesn't is really disturbing. That kind of obsession with violence is a really bad sign and has me worried someday soon she might try to take that fantasy and make it a reality.

You and I are both story writers and we know only to use violence to put characters under pressure, have epic battles of good versus evil and stuff like that. Some of it is okay and you'd be hard-pressed to find an adventure or fantasy novel that doesn't have at least some violence in it. But we don't do it because we just crave the gore and bloodshed for its own sake and that's all we do it for. Even a horror story only uses it as a tool to achieve of fear and pressure, but if it was a never-ending carousel of blood and violence, it would get lame, tasteless, and even stupid.

But in the end, don't change yourself for her sake. And the same goes for your stories. Don't take them down or change them just because someone else disagrees with it (unless you're getting it published and they have a certain criteria they want to use, which is a totally different story). At the end of the day, it's always good to listen to advice and weigh the pros and cons of different decisions based on what you hear, but it's still your creation and it's still your call. No one has the right to take that from you.

Yeah, I have to think really hard about what I'm going to do. I'm definitely going to tell her I'm not comfortable talking about this stuff at the least, and if she persists or it gets worse, probably block her. I don't like completely cutting people out of my life; I only ever do it as an absolute last resort. It might come to that, but I still need some time to really think about all this and figure out the best thing to do. In the meantime, I'm not looking at/replying to any more messages from her.

Back in 2013-2015 Sally was super nice. There were a few problems (like her issues with the violent scene I wrote) but it was mostly fun. Then it started getting worse. I noticed in her stories, they used to be really violent but would have happy endings and a good vs. evil type theme...nowadays (I skimmed some recent ones a while ago out of curiosity) they're just violence with disturbing endings and have the formerly friend characters torturing and/or murdering each other. It creeps me out. But yeah, I definitely need to find some new friends.

Yeah...I have no idea why she latched on to my story as the source of all her problems. I remember her telling me she hated the movie The Great Mouse Detective because of the violent scene at the end, but for whatever reason she didn't fixate on that for years like she did with my story. And yeah, I'm super creeped out by the 'control' thing too. She can't expect to control what everyone else writes, and the violent scene in my story is very tame compared to the stuff she writes. She did once tell me that she 'likes to see bad guys get hurt' (even though her stories focus on the good guys getting hurt by the villains a lot of the time too) and would always have her villains get punished horribly (at least in the early stories). She once got really mad at me because my villains only went to jail instead of getting tortured/beaten. And yeah, I'm kind of worried about that too. My mom once told me she's glad I don't live close to her because she wouldn't feel comfortable with me hanging out with her. At the time I was just like 'haha, yeah" but now I think she may be right.

I agree! Stories need to have a balance. But the way Sally writes it's fixated on the gore/murder/torture and goes into way too much detail, and there usually aren't any lighthearted or humorous moments to break it up. "Never-ending carousel of blood and violence" is a good way to describe a lot of her stories.

Don't worry, I won't! I definitely won't be changing or taking down any of my stories. I have the right to write and post what I want just like she does. And yeah, hopefully I can at least shut this type of conversation down. She's asked me several times before if she thinks she should go to a counselor and I always say yes, but then she comes up with some reason not to. Well, I don't want to talk about any of this anymore, and she knows where I stand.

[Scytherwolf]

Update #2: I told Sally I wasn't comfortable talking about this and to please not talk about any issues related to me or things I wrote/drew/whatever.

She ignored that and told me she wanted to kill herself because of this. Because of me.

Now I'm really panicked. I'm afraid if I cut off contact with her she'll do it. I'm really afraid now.

[Neo Emolga]

Update #2: I told Sally I wasn't comfortable talking about this and to please not talk about any issues related to me or things I wrote/drew/whatever.

She ignored that and told me she wanted to kill herself because of this. Because of me.

Now I'm really panicked. I'm afraid if I cut off contact with her she'll do it. I'm really afraid now.

She's using emotional abuse on you. Don't buy it. It's been done to me before and usually those using it are trying to leverage emotional control over their friends (victims really). I'll admit, it freaked me out too the first time I encountered it and I just dropped everything and did exactly what they wanted to my own detriment. I became like their personal servant because I didn't want to be even partially responsible if they really went ahead with killing themselves. Bad idea. Once that happened, then whenever some little thing didn't go their way, they then tried it again several times. After that I said enough is enough and that's where I cut things off because I had with them. Turns out they didn't ever kill themselves.

Tell her to call a suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255) if she's really serious about it and leave it at that. Let that be your final word to her and don't try to extinguish the fires she's created because that's not your job. Let those suicide hotline operators handle it because they're the experts on talking people out of it, so don't attempt to try it yourself if she's seriously considering it. And don't do what she says now that she's thrown this at you because that's exactly what she wants. You owe it to yourself not to let yourself slink back into this abusive "friendship" with her because at this point, it will only be one-sided in her favor.

I still think you should cut off contact, because this will do nothing but cause ongoing stress on you for however long it lasts. It happened to me and I don't want to see it happen to you because that's not a fun road to be on. I know, you don't want to be apathetic in case she really is serious, but don't surrender to her either and stand your ground. If she's serious, then all you can do is tell her to make that call, and that's all that can really be expected out of you. She needs serious psychological help from a professional, and that's not something you can attempt to do yourself because that may only make things worse. It's far better if someone not personally involved in the situation talked to her.