The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Shruikan]

I'll go search the (47) The Chatty Chatroulette Chatot Gourmet Dining Restaurant.

[Ladybugclue]

It's very true. It's way better down where it's wetter, so let's keep searching. Look around at 64b.

[Neo Emolga]

I'll search the (17) Booplesnoot Sity Hall - (17) Exterior

You trek on over to Sity Hall, since the weather is actually somewhat normal and isn't freakishly deranged today. It's rare, I know.

You get there and holy popping snot, the Squawkers definitely had fun with this one. What used to be a fancy government building is now an outright ridiculous chocolate and caramel gooey Halloween Cake Castle, though it's May and five months away from this nonsense. Still, they went for a ridiculous haunted house theme made of gingerbread, chocolate, marshmallow goo, and loads of other gunk. You sure feel sorry for whoever has to work here.

Although it does seem a little tempting...

@Yummy Spooky Halloween Cake Castle! - GHOST (+2 Belly, +2 Overwhelming Cuteness)@
Carly has slapped on 2 points of Belly and 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Yummy Spooky Halloween Cake Castle!

But ohhhh, so delicious! It does give you the feeling of having your own birthday cake to dig into all on your own! But darn, not a napkin in sight!

Well, after having more than a few dozen bites, you check to see if anything weird is going on around the outside. And well, it's hard to take Booplesnoot Sity Hall seriously when it looks like this now. You also see none of the cars were spared in the... chocolate bar parking lot.

It's odd, but you find a strange door in the side of the building that looks like it was meant to be for some kind of service entrance, but it's been... changed into something else with rainbow graffiti everywhere that looks like a three year old vandalized it. You hear... annoying things from it and it sounds like it's playing crappy pop music one second, with farting noises in the background, then a baby crying, then a screechy sound, followed by the Teen Titans Go theme. It makes you cringe, but it definitely seems like something the Squawkers would do, so you figure despite your desire to just walk away, you investigate. You approach the door, wondering just what the hell is wrong with this thing until...

#Spraying Sticky Glitter Everywhere! - BUG (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 7 out of 100: FAILED!
Carly gets even more annoyed with 1.5 extra points of Overwhelming Cuteness! Reduced because buggers ain't got nuthin' on you, fire puppy!

It sprays heinously sticky glitter all over you like some fruity nonsense spider just blew up their whole web sac at you! What a pain in the butt.

You take a closer look at the door, and it looks like whatever 3-year-old set this up is demanding sacrifices again. And they're talking like they were drop kicked and knee-hauled in the head again.

Heeheeheeheehee wanna get in here well too bad cause to do so, u gotta give up all ur goodies and stuff like yeah want dat hasty beast mde bracer thingy an yea gimme dat 50d20 2-handed serd o chaos too an yeah me wantz dat krazy kitty katana thingy too yeah gimme all those or u neva git in here eva hee ha ha ha ha ha11!!1!!

You really want to punch whoever wrote in this in the face.

#{Annoying Irritating Door of Whiny Sounds: Demanded sacrifice of Hasty Beast Mode Bracer AND 50d20 Two-Handed Sword of Chaos +5 AND Krazy Kitty Katana} Spraying Sticky Glitter Everywhere! - BUG (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)#

You decide to head back to base and you really hope those annoying sounds don't keep playing in your head while you're trying to sleep. Though maybe you can ask one of the other Peeps to play some death metal to cleanse it out.

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2.5/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 7.5/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Neo Emolga]

Well, I didn't mean to DELETE my post outright, but, uh, OK. Any who, priorities are a thing, so...
Before Bless could leave the base, though, Madder came back with info - some clown in the parking lot at Tal-Mart had the keys to the truck she was seeking. Normally she liked that kind of demon that fed on fear, but today, it was just in the way. Burn, clown... BURN.
Using the Anti-Clown spray on the Insanity Clown in the Tal-Mart's parking lot, to attain keys. @Neo Emolga

It's all good!

...

Upon hearing Madder report the instance of a clown, you decide that while a minigun and more than enough ammo to give Nickelfool a bullet breakfast he'll never forget isn't available in the Team Pile inventory, the Anti-Clown spray should suffice, though you wonder how this stuff really eradicates specifically clowns. Well, time to find out!

You head over to Tal-Mart and locate the storm drain that Madder carefully removed before encountering that creep. Well hell's bells, that annoying and deranged carnival music starts playing again. You take a curious peek into the storm drain, and you do a bit of a double-take when a blue balloon suddenly flies out and nearly bumps into your face. Of course it has to pop and get ketchup all over the place, including you.

"I got another!" the mind-gratingly annoying Mr Mime laughs at you. "You like that, wouldn't you, Bless? Of course you do. It floats!"

He then emerges from the storm drain... and he just laughs maniacally while his head twists and jitters in unnatural, freakish ways.

Oh my god. Look at this*#@%ing clown. Of course. It had to be a clown. No wait, it HAD to be a clown. And it had to be Madder for you to finally understand that some rules are made to be broken. Time to nut up or shut up. @$*# this clown.

He charges at you, and then you back kick him in the groin when he gets close enough, making him hunch over and fall flat on his back, snarling. Then you stand over his fugly face, pop the top of the can off, and smile.

"Hope you find your way back to hell just fine," you grin.

You then spray that crap all over his nasty pastyass face and he howls and melts like that creepy dude at the end of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[Anti-Clown Spray] has been used up!

He squirms and thrashes around and screams "I'M MELTING YOU HORRIBLE-" but then he's cut off because you stomp him in the groin one more time before all of that melts as well.

{Storm Drain: ^Small Pokémon^ AND Something to Deal With Nickelfool the Mr Mime Insanity Clown}

You then find the keys he was hiding and yep, you read the tag on the side and it reads "The Awesome Bellossom Landscaping" with a colorful floral theme. Yep, you'll be taking that with you.

[Landscaping Truck Key Fob] has been added to the Team Pile!

You then walk away from the scene, putting on some shades, and then a random explosion happens in the background with some badass heavy rock music soundtrack in the background.

@$*# this clown.

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

[Neo Emolga]

*cracks my gigantic weird bird knuckles*

Search (12b) Shut Up And Sleep Hotel (CANDY) Floors 5-8

You decide to fly off to that creamy vanilla pudding hotel that you've seem to take a liking to. Well, it hasn't changed too much since the last time you were here, and...

@Creamy Vanilla Pudding Deliciousness! - NORMAL (+2 Belly)@
Velo has gained 2 points of Belly from the Creamy Vanilla Pudding Deliciousness!

Mmm, yep, still tastes delicious! Okay, you got me, this HAS to be the real reason you keep coming back here!

You check the fifth floor first, having a bit of a challenging time trying to not sink through the floor that's barely keeping the hotel standing to begin with. Each room is easy to get into, but it's more of the same with barely anything getting by the transformation. Want to lie on your vanilla pudding bed while in the dark because your vanilla pudding lamp isn't working and there's nothing to watch because your vanilla pudding TV won't turn on? Well, you've come to the right place!

When you get to floor #6, well, occasionally you find a bag, a shoe, or some other loose item that survived the transformation, though nothing particularly useful. It isn't until you get to Floor #7 that you find someone's pink fanny pack with money inside.

Velo has found $200 Snax!$

Really, though? A fanny pack? Oh, and there's breath mints and tissues inside as well, but you don't really need those.

You finish scouting through the eighth floor, but it's mostly just more junk and clothes that not only don't fit you, but look incredible tacky as well. Really, polka dots? What is this, this 60s?

You decide to fly out the window because taking the elevator... there is no elevator, and vanilla pudding stairs sounds like a challenge ripped right out of Double Dare.

Cheerio!

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

[Neo Emolga]

for better or worse, I probs should work out again to get to a safe amount of cuteness. Which means... we will have to put on.... da music *dun**dun**DUUUUN*

You feel ANGRY. You let the hate flow through you, fire up some Slipknot, and then you take a sledgehammer and start smashing everything in sight like a freaking wrecking crew on steroids. Then you gnaw on said sledgehammer until it sets your fangs on fire and you howl carnage and terror, traumatizing children all over town. Your eyes glow red and black shadow tendrils fork and weave out of your howling maw.

Dio has annihilated 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness!

You sweat fire and anger, and you float just from the sheer force of anger alone. You unleash an evil laugh, and you feel... better. You descend slowly to the ground and it definitely feels nicer to have purged that cuteness out. Ahhhh!

Dio the Stalwart Vibrava (M: Ground/Dragon)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 6/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[AgloMe Oen]

I'll go search the (47) The Chatty Chatroulette Chatot Gourmet Dining Restaurant.

Hi hi!

Wait, what do you mean you're not happy to see me!? Oh, you're such a tease!

You decide to check out the lovely Chatty Chatroulette Chatot Gourmet Dining Restaurant, which really looks like it was hit HARD by the tenacious Squawkers! I mean holy popping Miltank, there's just enormous heaps of chocolate everywhere! My goodness, it would be a sin not to try a nibble, right!?

@Extreme Chocolate Bonkers Just For You! - DARK (+4 Belly)@
Fírnen really loves it and dumps on 4 bonus points of Belly from the EXTREME CHOCOLATE BONKERS JUST FOR YOU!!!

Oh honey, it's going to take a marathon to burn that off! But hey, maybe you like running!

You wander around this choco-catastrophe and find what used to be tables, chairs, the grand piano, the bar, the fancy balcony, and so much more now just thick chocolate goo! It used to be such a lovely, posh place where meals would cost more than $1000 Snax$ and you practically had to pay just for a reservation!

Wow, even the bathrooms were fancy! Oooh, I really need my sink to look like a fountain! Really? So that's where all the money is going toward. Oh, and toilets that self-wrap the seat with lining! You know you're eating in an expensive place when they've got those! Or... when they used to have those! They're just more chocolate now, but you seemed to really like it!

Oh, you decide to search the outside grounds and wow, more chocolate crazy statues, lawn ornaments, and ooh, what's this!? You find what looks like a very colorful, mystic, altar that has a shiny allure to it! It's one of the few things that aren't chocolate! How curious! Ooh! You take a closer look and...

#Cutesy Puffy Powder Everywhere! - FLYING (+6 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 14 out of 100: FAILED! YAY!

Fírnen has reached cuteness critical mass from the 6 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Cutesy Puffy Powder Everywhere!
13/12

EEEEeeeee, it swarms and gathers around you like crazy and you just can't shake it off as it just makes you so much more fluffy fluff adorable and you shake, grin, and dance until it hurts!

You squeee at this alter and you see this crazy alter is requiring all kinds of crazy rainbow items for what has to be some ridiculous ritual of some sort! How could something this insane be real!?

{Altar of Cutesy Happy Fun Time Rainbows: Placement of the Rainbow Fidget Spinner AND Placement of the Rainbow Colored Pencils of Yay! AND Placement of the Rainbow Glitter That Sticks to Everything AND Costume Rainbow Butterfly Wings AND Rainbow Jester's Cap of Yodeling} #Cutesy Puffy Powder Everywhere! - FLYING (+6 Overwhelming Cuteness)#

But oh, oh, snap, more of those fluffy puffs of extreme cuteness just cling to you, turning you into the softest, plushiest, and most DOWNRIGHT ADORABLE CINCCINO in the universe! Squeee yippie-yippie-yay! Suddenly for a few seconds, you can sing in the most KAWAII musical tones like a sweet little songbird! Everything around you is full of cutesy bliss and happiness that everything FEELS SO ADORABLE, PEACHY, AND FINE and then-

KA-BOOOOOM!!!!!!

Aww, it's such a lovely and adorable sight, seeing you explode so beautifully and with so much extra fluff and flair! But what a shame, no one got to see it! Besides me! Well, you do have that Ecstatic About Static thing on! But that's okay, it'll be our little secret! Teeheehee! I won't forget! Pinky swear!

What a lovely, little day! Please come back again, soon!

Fírnen the EXPLODED Cinccino! (S: Normal)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: POW.
Overwhelming Cuteness: SUPER POW!
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans

[Bulbasaur]

Search (20a) Restaurant (CANDY).

[Neo Emolga]

It's very true. It's way better down where it's wetter, so let's keep searching. Look around at 64b.

You decide to keep checking out It's Better Down Where It's Wetter! Apartments because darn it, you totally agree with that statement! Swimming is like flying without the fear of falling! What beats that!?

You dive in and swim down to the apartment building where it doesn't seem like too much has changed since you were last here, but hey, you haven't checked out this nifty area yet! So you start from the fifth floor this time and begin by searching each apartment, as long as the silly Pokémon who lives there forgot to lock their door! Hey, you'd be surprised how many times this happens!

Nothing much on the fifth floor seems unusual, save for the Goldeen panties, the sticky slappy hands, and the watering can, which seems... pointless underwater. The sixth floor is pretty much the same deal. Some Poilwhirl seems to really like building models of lamps out of toothpicks and there's a Lanturn with a serious craving for olives and peaches, but nothing really extra oddball.

Then on the seventh floor, you find something really funky. This apartment has a heavy metal door unlike all the other apartments and all the engravings and carvings seems to suggest the owner has a real love for magical mer-Pokémon. Or, at least, non-water type Pokémon now equipped with mermaid tails. It's... odd, really. Maybe it kinda works with humans, but with Pokémon, it's a funky-fest. Check out mermaid Raichu and the mermaid Lucario!

The heavy metal door has a biometric scanner, which is funky, but you shrug and try it out anyway and press the seashell-shaped button. Some white scanning lasers shoot out of electronic gadget thingy which you thought was a peep hole. The lasers surround you, and then suddenly they stop.

WHAT. REALLY. YOU'RE ALREADY A WATER TYPE. GET SOME OTHER POKÉMON DOWN HERE AND DARN IT, DRESS 'EM UP AS A MERMAID. COME ON, YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW THIS WORKS BY NOW. WE NEED MORE MEMBERS FOR OUR CLUB!

You shrug, but figure something's gotta be up with this nonsense. Really, these water types have the weirdest hobbies. But, you figure if some Peep pretends to play along with this and slap on one of these mermaid tails and comes with some typical mermaid gear, it might convince the loony that set this up that they're serious about... whatever this is about.

{Locked Magical Mermaid Apartment Door: Needs to see a Staryu Hair Clip AND a Seashell Necklace AND a Magical Mermaid Tail}

You check out the eighth floor, but all you really find that some Vaporeon likes making glue sculptures and Blimey the Azumarill loves making origami out of his traffic tickets. The fact he's gotten really good at it makes you wonder just how many of these he's had practice with...

You decide to head back and chillax for a while. :]

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 5/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

Search (20a) Restaurant (CANDY).

You decide to check out what used to be the restaurant part of Bave and Duster's. It looks like it used to be a really cool place that served specialty drinks, all kinds of cool food, and nifty appetizers, but after the Squawkers had their way with it, well, it's just sherbet now. Yummy... tasty... crazy sherbet.

You wonder for just a bit with a little lick...

@Sherbet Deluge and A Complete Mess - ICE (+2 Belly)@
Eddie loves this stuff enough to rack up 4 points of Belly from the Sherbet Deluge and A Complete Mess! Amplified because you've got a softie spot for yummy frozen treats!

Urf. You certainly enjoy it, but you probably should have stopped enjoying it a while ago...

You decide to head in and every booth, table, piece of retro paraphernalia, and light fixture is now just more and more gooey sherbet. Oh, did you want some chicken fingers, coconut shrimp, or mozzarella sticks? No, you just get more sherbet today!

Of course, there's not a single patron here tonight. Although you do find something in the back office that looks like it was stashed away here after all the sherbet transformation happened. It's likely Squawker-related, so you check it out and...

#Ultimate Shower of Pixie Powder! - FAIRY (+6 to Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 6 out of 100: FAILED!

Eddie has slapped on 3 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Ultimate Shower of Pixie Powder! Reduced damage because you're a badass Bulbasaur who ain't a sucker for fairy nonsense!

You get BLASTED with shiny, clingy pixie powder, but thankfully they didn't count on you showing up. Yeah... that could have been a whole lot worse.

You try to reach it, but it's in an alcove that's too high for a small Pokémon to get to, but too narrow for anyone big to squeeze in. And it even needs a fairy card key reader. Seriously, since when do fairies use card keys?

#{Locked Cache of Magical Fairies!: ^Medium Pokémon AND Magical Fairy Card Key Reader} Ultimate Shower of Pixie Powder! - FAIRY (+6 to Overwhelming Cuteness)#

Well, unfortunately, despite your attempts to jump up there and try anyway, you're just a few feet short.

You don't find anything else around, so you decide to head back and at least make a note of this pesky pixie thing.

Eddie the Epic Bulbasaur (S: Grass/Poison)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 3/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking