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Thread: [WAR] Sebastian

  1. #1
    Aggronholic Grassy_Aggron's Avatar
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    [WAR] Sebastian

    Sebastian

    I always grew up living with dogs
    Going to school and playing Linkin Logs
    But then came one fateful day
    When my sister came in with something to say


    At her work there was a litter of kittens
    Each needing help and no bigger than mittens
    While skeptical at first Mom had to agree
    And as a result I must proudly decree


    They were the cutest little balls of fur
    I knew they’d find homes, I was sure
    But what I could not possibly foresee
    Was that one little kitty would be staying with me


    He was so tiny and impossibly cute
    Quiet enough to be considered a mute
    His pelt was a shiny charcoal grey
    And eyes a piercing, vibrant green ray


    When he did decide to finally talk
    It was quite honestly not a big shock
    From his maw came the smallest little mew
    While from my mouth a “d’aw” came on cue


    He was so sickly and often cold
    Surviving wouldn’t be easy, I was told
    So carrying him in my shirt was a start
    Where he fell asleep to the beat of my heart


    They said he would not get above five pounds
    We started to feed him raw meat in several rounds
    Any other food he just couldn’t keep down
    Hearing him heave and wretch made us frown


    Surely but steady he began to gain weight
    To the vet’s immense surprise the scale then read eight!
    Oh Sebastian, for my niece made him known
    It was so nice to finally see you healthy and grown


    Even now living is a constant battle
    Every cough, sneeze, and breathless rattle
    The illness is strong and very tough
    Month to month the treatment can get rough


    Yet you are so sweet, loyal, and kind
    Patiently taking every shot; you don’t mind
    My little boy, you are my love
    I’d go to Hell and back, to Heaven above


    When you had to leave for even a short time
    Every day was gloomy and the sun couldn’t shine
    I can assure you it was never your fault
    But it still felt like a wound filling with salt


    My handsome man is what I call you
    Although I still say you’re my baby boy too
    Now you have siblings that vie for my sight
    I love them too or it wouldn’t be right


    You will always have a special place
    Not time, nor disaster, will ever erase
    Let this letter written from my soul
    Make you realize what your death will toll


    I try not to think about it all that much
    It is a sensitive area that I’d rather not touch
    Your sickness could kill you all too fast
    So I spend every moment with you to make it last


    But that has not happened, no, not yet
    The future is ever changing and never quite set
    You are not just an animal or some lowly kitty
    Anyone who says that will have a day most sh*tty


    My wrath can be unfettered and quite raw
    A dozen knives stabbing, a buzzing saw
    But you with your quiet, unique meow
    Snap me out of it to say “don’t have a cow!”


    If this isn’t love then I don’t know what is
    My emotions run rampant to bubble and fizz
    My heart aches whenever I think of you
    And I hope when you think of me, yours does too


    And before someone says “cats don’t think”,
    I assure you they do, why else would they wink?
    They are truly the smartest little creatures
    In the way they move and their emotional features


    I know he can miss me as he has before
    Pacing around the room, lying still on the floor
    He comes out to greet me at least once a day
    And often lays on my lap, not willing to stray


    I can keep on writing this exciting poem
    Letting my words out to be free, to roam
    But if I did that you’d be here a year
    So for one last moment please lend me your ear


    Treat your pets with kindness and love
    If you’ve forgotten to do that this is your shove
    They are truly wonderful to have around
    Frolicking everywhere in the air and on ground


    My cat Sebastian I consider my son
    My affection for him weighs more than a ton
    To protect him from harm is my sworn duty
    I will do anything, I will even kick booty


    Let this wonderful lesson in love teach
    That with its power there is nothing you can’t reach
    The world is a canvas, a piece of work
    Allowing this to happen is a beautiful quirk


    I hope to have many years with him
    For he is my light and refuses to dim
    But as always there will be an end
    So I give him as much time I can spend


    I hope my words here have struck a chord
    That they haven’t gone long enough to make you bored
    It is, however, time I bid you adieu
    My cat demands attention - it is long since due!

    Made by the awesome X-Kun~

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
    When he did decide to finally talk
    It was quite honestly not a big shock
    "Talk" and "shock" don't really rhyme. xD Or, well, with my accent they don't. I can understand how it would work better with an American accent, but even then, "shock" sounds different to, say, "chalk" if that had a "sh" sound at the beginning.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
    Surely but steady he began to gain weight
    "steady" should be "steadily" if it's like "surely" and meant to be an adverb.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
    I can keep on writing this exciting poem
    Letting my words out to be free, to roam
    These certainly don't rhyme. To me, "poem" is to be said "poe-em" and not "pome." xD So this sort of really tripped up the flow for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
    I will do anything, I will even kick booty
    Minor pick; this comma should be a semicolon. x) I love the line though. xD

    All in all, a cute poem. I liked how you told the story of how you met him and went into why he means so much to you. I love my cat as well, so it was definitely relatable. :D

    Nicely written, except a few things I pointed out. That may have been preference though. xD


    ~SF.

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  4. #3
    Aggronholic Grassy_Aggron's Avatar
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    It's likely the accent differences - shock and talk rhyme the way I pronounce it XD Same with poem and roam. I do indeed say "pome", and this is a case of "toe-may-tow" and "toe-mah-tow". Different, corrects ways to say it XD

    Aye, the steady part. I can't recall - I may have kept it "steady" to keep the rhyming beat somewhat consistent, but likely it was an oversight XD The semicolon is no excuse for me - I slipped up there XD

    Glad you enjoyed it! My lovely little boy will be five soon~

    Made by the awesome X-Kun~

  5. #4
    Haha yeah. I suppose things like accent differences are bound to happen. x) And no worries about the other ones! They were tiny so it's barely worth mentioning.

    Aw, that's cute. c: Did you ever post a picture in the pets thread I put up a while ago? If not I'd love to see one if you have one. c:

  6. #5
    Reach for the Stars ~★ Chibi Altaria's Avatar
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    Just to go against Xanthe... I say 'pome'. :p

    But I do agree, with my accent, talk and shock would never, ever rhyme. xD Darn you, accents! BUT GOOD POEM. <3

    Side note... I should post a picture of my little bunny. x3 He's so cute.

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