PXR Adventures! (We make fun of you!)

[Neo Emolga]

http://i.imgur.com/szHALzm.png

Because after you've made silly fun of everything else, why not make silly fun of PXR? >:3

Here, anyone can post stories about all your favorite PXR members as characters undergoing any goofy adventures of madness and insanity. It's nothing personal, just what we do. So if you've always wanted to reimagine PXR as a goofy Saturday morning cartoon, here's a great place to do it!

If you're a PXR member, you might appear in another person's story! And they might have all kinds of goofy things happen to you! It's all in good, goofy fun, so don't take it too seriously if something weird befalls you in the story. But don't just stand there, get them back in the same way and write a funny story about them instead!

The Library of Insanity Directory

Lovers' Trouble (Starring Chakramaster and Lunar Latias!) (http://www.pokemoncrossroads.com/forum/showthread.php?12763-PXR-Adventures!-(We-make-fun-of-you)&p=229093&viewfull=1#post229093) - Neo Emolga
Sarah's Steam Sellout (Starring Pokémon Trainer Sarah!) (http://www.pokemoncrossroads.com/forum/showthread.php?12763-PXR-Adventures!-(We-make-fun-of-you!)&p=229099&viewfull=1#post229099) - Noblejanobii
Just Another Or-ditto-nary Day (Starring Pokémon Trainer Sarah and STD/ERR Members!) (http://www.pokemoncrossroads.com/forum/showthread.php?12763-PXR-Adventures!-(We-make-fun-of-you!)&p=229390&viewfull=1#post229390)- Pokemon Trainer Sarah
Xanthe's Xeriscape Exploit (Starring Suicune's Fire) (http://www.pokemoncrossroads.com/forum/showthread.php?12763-PXR-Adventures!-(We-make-fun-of-you!)&p=236943&viewfull=1#post236943) - Noblejanobii
A Springtime Celebration (Starring Chakramaster and Chibi Altaria) (http://www.pokemoncrossroads.com/forum/showthread.php?12763-PXR-Adventures!-(We-make-fun-of-you!)&p=243985&viewfull=1#post243985) - Chakramaster

[Neo Emolga]

http://i.imgur.com/DO3cDej.png

Starring Chakramaster and Lunar Latias!

PXR Mission Control Room

There was a feeling of dread throughout the mission control room. The air was cold, the room was dark and only lit by the dim glow of the monitors hanging on the walls and suspended from the ceiling, and the Moderator Council had been watching the screens and footage of what could only be described as chaos and anarchy. Citizens running in fear, buildings on fire, and robotic armies of spammechs rampaging through the streets.

For the longest time, the leaders of the nation known as Pokémon Crossroads had been facing a global threat that had ravaged so many other Pokémon nations. Despite the world's best efforts to eliminate the infiltrator terrorist leader MichaelXD, all attempts to destroy the maniacal dark enigma and his shadow machine army of spammechs had only delayed the Dark Lord's campaign. To the Council, it was like trying to kill a riddle.

"He's a cockroach!" the Snivy named Speed-X spat as she watched the screens, throwing her arms down in frustration. "No matter how many times we stomp him, he just keeps coming back like some persistent zombie! And these annoying, spamming machines! They wreck everything we've worked so hard to build and just fill it with crap!"

The grass snake growled, shutting her eyes in anger as she clenched her fists. For all the damage and lives lost to the Dark Lord, MichaelXD was past redemption. Past forgiveness. But most of all, like ice cream and lasagna put together in a blender, he was far past understanding. No one knew why and no one knew how one individual could be so persistent and have such a mastery of repetition besides those that have overplayed Candy Crush. Meanwhile, his endless army of machines were just as relentless as their master was, mindlessly determined to lay waste to everything the PXR Council and the peaceful, albeit sometimes crazy, citizens of Pokémon Crossroads held dear.

Wherever the dark machines went, they left only chaos and disorder in their wake. Their dark force of what could only be described as infernal magic had left many citizens without homes before their sanity was consumed as what could only be described as nonsensical "product offers," "Cambogia benefits," and "online payday advance." It was a level of chaos that no one of sane mind could possibly fathom or understand, but it was rumored that those who had suffered long-term exposure to the vocals of Justin Beiber could slightly grasp from similar traumatizing experiences.

"He is... relentless," Sarah the Bulbasaur sighed, looking distraught at the output screens. "He's sent infiltrator units throughout the Discord and Skype networks as well. Max.exe. Rakatu.exe. Destroying them wasn't enough. Once they went down, others simply took their place. It's an endless cycle..."

"It feels like nothing is enough!" Speed-X shouted, gritting her teeth in anger as she pointed to the screens depicting the carnage. "This is an endless game of Whack-a-Mole! Once his Shadow Network found ours, that did it! But we can't just unplug everything! Look at what happened to PE2K! That's exactly what would happen if we were to evacuate again. Everything there was overrun by those machines and it was like swimming in a landfill of spam! We can't just have another exodus. And you know he would just find us sooner or later. He always does..."

A feeling a dismay had crawled up everyone's spine, sending a chill throughout the room. They knew, deep inside, that no matter what happened, they couldn't start over again. They came too far to have to give it all up now. This was their home, and they had to protect it. With slingshots and noisemakers if need be, but preferably something that was outlawed in all fifty states except Texas.

"We won't," Sarah told the Snivy with a determined voice. "MichaelXD's Shadow Network is strong, but we're stronger. We have the best operatives out there doing whatever they can. They've been training for years. They know what to look for."

"But we need to put an end to him for good this time," Xanthe the Flareon stressed to the Bulbasaur. "Not just shut down his frontline attack force. We need to be on the offensive here. Someone has to infiltrate his Shadow Network and find out what the heart of it is. Or else we might as well be trying to clean a bathroom with a turkey sandwich!"

"She's right," Neo the Emolga nodded, knowing this is what had to be done. "MichaelXD can't be invisible. He's evasive and highly annoying, yes, but he and the source of his machines have to exist somewhere. It's time to stop playing nice."

Sarah softly nodded her head in agreement, agreeing with the flying squirrel's plans, but she knew it would be a dangerous mission. She knew what the Dark Lord MichaelXD was capable of when it came to a frontline offense, but there was no telling what could be waiting for whoever tried to step into the beating heart of such a relentless, insane madman and all the byproducts of his darkest imagination. No one even knew what the Shadow Network was like from the inside! It was like trying to imagine what it would be like trying to fight a circus robot covered in poo that kept vomiting Zubat after Zubat after Zubat and like a million alligators.

It was something that Sarah knew mortal eyes weren't meant to see, and she would feel remorse for whoever would have to undergo such a mission. She had to decide on someone brave. Someone strong. Someone resilient. Someone who would not fear such sights and sounds of insanity. Someone who successfully completed the Adventure Time Marathon Training.

"Who did you have in mind, Neo?" Sarah asked the sly flying squirrel.

"Gemma and Eric," Neo nodded with a cunning smile. "Operatives Lunar Latias and Chakramaster."

"Are you sure they're ready?" Speed-X asked, looking at Neo curiously as she tapped her foot. "Neo, for something like this, if they even come back, they may never be the same. You know that sometimes these special ops missions leave these operatives slightly less like themselves. I'm sure you remember what happened with Operative Trainer17, right?"

"Ohhh, those nachos..." Sam the Riolu moaned and closed his eyes as he recalled a rather disturbing memory. "Please... never... never ever again."

But Neo knew someone had to do it, even if he knew it might mean eating nachos laced with Carolina Reaper peppers and then feel like they were pooping fireballs hours later. He wouldn't have even considered it if he didn't think PXR's renown Pikachu tag team was ready. But he knew their love for each other was strong. Together, they would stop the madness that MichaelXD had created. He didn't think it would ruin them like Speed-X the Snivy had warned him.

"They can do it," Neo smiled. "I know them. Xanthe and I will be their mission handlers. We've survived Ditto invasions. We've even survived Undertale assimilation where many countries did not. They can stop him. They have everything they need."

"Then make the call," Sarah smiled, confident in the Emolga's decision. "Time to show MichaelXD the business end of PXR's sharpest blade."

"Winky face!" Xanthe chimed in.


PXR Prism National Park

It was a beautiful day outside in Prism Park. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and on days like this, kids with an a psychotic affection for knives were burning in hell.

The sunlight gently flowed down upon the park, and as it hit the many prism-like ornaments scattered throughout the park, it casted rainbows upon all the Pokémon enjoying the afternoon. Families, lovers, picnic-goers, children, poets, and a weird guy who takes up a whole park bench as he plays guitar and gives others dirty looks for not tipping were all there.

Among them was a loving Pikachu pair, sitting side by side, enjoying a freshly-brewed batch of mint tea and delicious maple syrup cookies.

"Will you stay with me forever?" Eric the Pikachu said adoringly and poetically to Gemma. "Sharing love together?"

"So it seems," Gemma replied with a sweet smile, kissing him on his red cheek. "You're the Pikachu of my dreams."

They hugged and cuddled as the birds were chirping and a gentle breeze passed by. It couldn't have been a more perfect, poetic, and sincere moment, but then all of a sudden, a massive foot crushed their teapot and cookies, making a mess of their picnic blanket in the process. It was a sudden atrocity even worse than the invention of clamshell packaging.

Horrified at the sudden intrusion, Gemma and Eric looked up to see a grizzly and angry Ursaring, a snarling Zoroark, and a devious and wicked Krookodile, looking down upon them and sadistically enjoying how their sweet picnic and loving moment was suddenly ruined. It would have been better if a Hippowdon had taken a diarrhea dump all over it instead.

"You're sitting in our spot, vermin," the brown bear Ursaring snarled with a satisfied grin of evil, using the grass to wipe the tea and cookie crumb mess off of his foot. "That's going to cost you."

"You did not just do that!" Eric called out in anger. "How could you!?"

"Easy," the Ursaring snarled with an evil smile as he lifted his foot and stomped it on the ground again. "Just like this."

Eric and Gemma couldn't believe it. How could any Pokémon be so heartless and cruel!?

"I'm warning you..." Eric told the burly brown bear as he got to his tiny yellow feet and pointed at him with an angry face. "We're not someone you want to mess with."

"Really!?" the dark wolf Zoroark laughed hysterically as the others chuckled. "Whatchu gonna do, Pikachu? Wanna know why we didn't bring lunch with us today? That's right. It's because you're lunch."

"Mmm, mmm, mmm," the evil red and black Krookodile licked his chops with an evil look in his shady eyes. "I don't even care if you're white meat or dark meat. You both look... delicious. So juicy."

It all happened so fast. Suddenly, the Krookodile snatched Gemma up by her thunderbolt tail, and left her shocked and dangling just above the Krookodile's open maw.

This was an occurrence that was simply unacceptable. So wrong that it immediately gave Eric and Gemma full diplomatic immunity and legal pardon and could not be held responsible for their actions. They were no longer bound by the constraints of the Geneva Convention. All nuclear sanctions had been lifted.

Immediately, Eric dashed toward the Krookodile and slammed him in the face with POWERMAX THUNDERCRUSHFIST OMEGA ULTIMATE. Instant carnage and electrical mayhem. Just before the Krookodile was instantly sterilized and sent flying off into the stratosphere, his grip on Gemma was let go and she quickly jumped out of the way as the velocity of the dark crocodile left a deafening sonic boom in his wake. To this day, no one knows where he landed, but we are convinced the damage was well beyond his health insurance.

"Gotcha!" The Zoroark laughed as he grabbed Eric, causing his claws to dig under Eric's yellow fur. "Let's see what you taste like!"

As Gemma recovered from Krookodile's attempts to eat her, she saw what had happened to Eric as he struggled to escape the Zoroark's grasp. Her eyes widened. Her fury unleashed. Her rage unsheathed. Her limits broken. She was suddenly surrounded by raging thunder and mystical fire. Wings of furious divine flame burst from her back and were spread out with mighty fire as crimson embers were thrown in all directions. A ring of glorious white fiery fury surrounded her. She shouted a legendary war cry and surged toward the Zoroark, cheeks blazing with white thunder and a cry that shook the earth.

Contact. The Zoroark's health insurance would not cover this either.

The Zoroark lit up like a redneck Thanksgiving turkey deep fry gone horribly, horribly wrong and was immediately flung into the sky before bursting into beautiful clusters of sparkling fireworks. There was some red, some orange, some white, and stuff like that. Really glittery stuff. You know the kind.

"Oooh!" A young Azurill cheered to her mother as she witnessed the cosmic fireworks blasting of the Zoroark. "It's so pretty! What are they celebrating today!?"

"Why, it's International Death of Stupidity Day, honey!" the mother Azumarill told her daughter with a loving smile. "Come, I'll buy you some ice cream! You've been a good girl today!"

"Yay!" The young Azurill cheered.

Both Eric and Gemma stared down the Ursaring. Nothing could rewind time and give them that precious loving moment once more. Nothing would bring their mint tea back from being soaked in the torn picnic blanket and in the dirt. Nothing could reconstruct those once-delicious maple syrup cookies they had paid $4 for at Shop and Stop. It was all stolen from them.

"Still wanna mess with us!?" Eric challenged the Ursaring, his tiny yellow paws clenching into fists as his red cheeks were flaring with electricity. "After what happened to your two friends?"

"Friends?" the Ursaring laughed, smashing his clawed fists together. "Hardly. Bring it! I'm feeling spry!"

Together, Eric and Gemma held hands, and surged toward the ferocious brown bear as they were surrounded with blazing white energy. Hyper Mode. Buffed up. +15 to Strength and +50% Fire Resistance. They slammed into him right in the gut, as if the yellow ring on his chest was one big fat target for them to hit. He was suddenly flung back into a brick wall, and he suddenly burst into flames. For a moment, the two Pikachu were elated that he was defeated, but suddenly, they heard a very ominous sound and voice...

"YOU THINK THAT'S ALL IT TAKES!?" the Ursaring boomed, suddenly growing in monstrous size. "THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"

It was awful. As he grew to almost forty feet tall, more monstrous mutations and appendages came out of him. He grew spider legs. Two extra heads. A scorpion tail. Vampire fangs. Jagged spikes. Razor claws. A Wi-Fi connection. It was truly abysmal.

"DIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

The earth shook. The sky grew dark. The civilians ran in fear. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 canceled. He had to be stopped. There was no choice now.

The Urasring monster surged forward with his massive claw, trying to target Eric and Gemma. However, they jumped out of the way in the nick of time, just before the claw destroyed two massive oak trees. However, just before they were out of harm's way, one of the heads barfed acid spit at them. They both dodged most of it, but even just droplets of the acid were enough to burn and sting them a little.

"ENTERTAIN ME BEFORE YOU DIE!!" the heads screamed with laughter.

Just then, Eric's communicator began to ring with the Overwatch ringtone theme. It was Mission Command. Neo couldn't have picked a more terrible time to call. He's writing the story, you'd think he'd know better!

"Why now...!?" Eric moaned, trying to dodge another flamebreath attack. "I'm busy!"

"I'll handle this!" Gemma told Eric with a confident smile as she busted out a piece of paper and a pencil out of... hammerspace.

"HA HA HA!!" the Ursaring monster laughed. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, WRITE ME A LOVE NOTE!? WHA HA HA!!"

Using her incredible art prowess, she quickly broke the space time continuum and rapidly drew an incredible picture of a massive Mega Altaria that had to be a hundred meters in size. Yes, meters. Not feet. The sheer awesomeness of this picture suddenly caused it to spring into life and jump from the page! The super-fluffy blue cotton dragon bird shrieked out and suddenly there was so much extra awesomeness!

"Use your Taste of Apocalypse attack!" Gemma cried out.

Folks, insurance doesn't cover this either, just so you know.

A massive, blazing white beam of incredible, super-sized, <insert many adjectives here> beam of blazing and amazing light with no sugar added rushed from the Mega Altaria's beak and slammed into the truly ugly Ursaring (can it even still be called that?) monster and made him REALLY blow up. Lots of pieces. Many pieces. Reese's pieces.

"How's that for a love note!?" Gemma laughed at the smoldering ashes of the Ursaring monster.

As Gemma turned to Eric, Neo was put on speaker phone.

"Guys, we've got a resurfacing problem," Neo told the Pikachu pair through the communicator. "We need to be discreet about this, however. We don't know who might be listening in. Last time, they found out we were heading out to get donuts and when we got to the store, all the good ones were taken. Totally couldn't have been a coincidence. No way at all. So I'll tell you this. Code SC7MZ. I think you know what that means."

"Oh no..." Eric muttered, well aware of that meant. "Again!?"

"Yes," Neo told Eric in a hard sigh. "You're our best operatives. We need you to get to the bottom of this. Find the source. Do whatever it takes. We're counting on you. Should you succeed in your mission, there will be... pizza."

"Extra cheese?" Eric asked.

"Extra cheese," Neo confirmed.

"We're on it," Eric smiled as he hung up the phone and ended the call.

"But first, ice cream," Gemma smiled.

"Yes, ice cream," Eric grinned.

"Yay!" The young Azurill cheered.


The PE2K Broken Lands: Two days later

Eric and Gemma, our star Pikachu, had decided to search the realms of PE2K for any possible leads as to where the Dark Lord MichaelXD's whereabouts might be. It was still a dark and dangerous place, and the only way they could enter it was through the Wayback Machine. As a result, the ruins of PE2K were even unstable. Meanwhile, Neo and Xanthe had decided to let Eric and Gemma borrow their old Senior Moderator Banhammers. They had upgraded Admin ones now, so it was all good.

PE2K, as it seemed, was a post-apocalyptic nightmare. The skies were brown and foul, the cities here were gutted, and in many places, completely polluted by the Dark Lord's savage and aggressive campaign. It was clear, wherever MichaelXD and his spammechs had been, there was anguish, despair, and sad loneliness. And heaps and heaps of garbage. On the walls of the buildings, there were pictures of sad puppies, kittens, and bunnies. It seemed MichaelXD really liked sad puppies, kittens, and bunnies. Truly the work of a madman.

Everywhere they looked, there was garbage. There were endless fliers and incoherent ads for everything sane people didn't need and broken teleportation links to deceptive places that would bury dark and evil implants into their victims without them even knowing. The city had been buried and ruined by it. Like that opening scene in Wall-E. Once the spammechs had overrun the city's defenses and had their way with the city, hope was lost. Some had tried to fight to the end, like the hero Max, codenamed Judge Dredd at the time, one of the last to join the evacuation when it seemed there was no more hope. As Eric had remembered, it was here that the exodus had happened. 2012. For some, they believed it would be the end of the world. The world had survived, but for PE2K, the end of days couldn't have been more real.

"What a terrible fate," Gemma sighed as the two electric yellow mice carefully made their way through the ruins. "We can't let this happen to PXR. Never!"

"There should still be spammechs around here," Eric told Gemma, keeping a lookout around the ruined buildings half-buried in garbage. "Remember what Xanthe and Neo told us. We need to find one, Banhammer it, and hack into its hard drives. Maybe we'll find some kind of link as to where it's getting its commands from. And hopefully MichaelXD left his credit card information in it!"

"It's the only shot we have," Gemma nodded, patting Xanthe's old Senior Moderator Banhammer. "This time, don't aim for the head. We need those drives intact."

They stealthily moved throughout the dark and polluted city, quietly creeping around walls and using whatever they could to conceal their position. All the while, the two lover Pikachu had to watch their steps. The spam here was still dangerous.

Suddenly, a cataclysmic crash had raged out and a sudden vortex had opened up, swallowing a large portion of the city into a swirling black hole of nothingness, sucking in a large amount of spam garbage as well. It seemed the very little that was left of the city was being swallowed away. They didn't have much time before there was truly nothing.

As time went on, it seemed even the spammechs had abandoned this place, searching for ripe, new worlds to invest. But, as they continued searching, they finally came upon one of the many spammechs that had once ravaged PE2K. It was filthy, dirty, and looked like a junky robotic dinosaur made from old LEGO bricks. One had to be careful not to step on them.

To their surprise, it was already down and deactivated. Banned by a previous PE2K mod during the final days. It was uncertain which one, but the two Pikachu felt it was likely one of Max's last kills before he joined the evacuation. As the two yellow mice investigated it, the head seemed to be intact. This one had been struck in the back, but thankfully the head was still in one piece. At least here the memory core was still intact and it was the destruction of the power supply that put the spammech out of commission.

"Think you can get into it?" Eric asked Gemma, looking worried they didn't have much time before the rest of PE2K was swallowed into the void.

"I'll try," Gemma smiled hopefully. "We know what to look for, at least. Once we have the hard drive, we'll be able to take it back to HQ. They should be able to read it and bypass the security measures."

Gemma had dissembled the spammech's head frame and inside was the hard drive. She reached in and after she gripped it with her paw, she tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Trying to wrestle it out didn't seem to be working either. To her, it was a bit frustrating in ways that felt similar to those times you press "Main Menu" to skip the coming attractions DVD previews of movies that have been out for ages and it just doesn't flipping work.

And then, just at that moment, another void rift had opened up only a short distance away from them. The both of them looked to see a giant rift had started to consume the city sector where the URPG was once held. The skyscraper that was once the archive for all the trainer stats had collapsed and now it was beginning to hit what was once the URPG marketplace. Both of them knew they needed to hurry.

Eric offered to help, but even the both of them tugging on the hard drive couldn't release it from the spammech's head. Eric took one last look around to see if by some miracle of a chance, there was another spammech that could be used as an alternative, but there was no sign of one anywhere and there was too much spam garbage to have to go digging around through. And the swirling, black hole made it clear they were not safe here and didn't have enough time to even consider that.

"Maybe we should take the whole head with us?" Gemma suggested, thinking there might be a way to disassemble it and remove the hard drive once they were back at base."

"It probably weighs at least two-hundred pounds," Eric replied in dismay. "I don't think two little chus like us could carry it all the way back to the Wayback Machine portal. Think we could try to disassemble it from both sides?"

And then, all of a sudden, the black hole struck the remnants of the URPG marketplace. Suddenly all the items that were meant for URPG players were thrown out wildly, showering the area with abandoned TMs, leftover items, and empty Pokéballs that would never be filled with marketplace Pokémon. It was as if a giant tornado had torn through it and flung everything around for miles.

All kinds of evolutionary items had scattered around Gemma and Eric, nearly burying them completely in the process like a freakish blizzard. Once the bombardment stopped, Eric resurfaced, trying to push away a pile of Shiny Stones, Moon Stones, and Fire Stones. As he tried to dig around to find the spammech's head, he suddenly felt very strange and he quickly realized what had happened. Somewhere in that massive pile, he had unintentionally touched a Thunder Stone, and now he was glowing.

No, no, I don't want to evolve! Stoooppp! Pressing B! PRESSING B!!!

But there was nothing that could be done and simply no B to press. Eric, in a bright and flashy glow of radiant light and energy, had gone from plushy yellow Pikachu to bigger plushy orange Raichu. When the transformation stopped and his body was reformed, he looked aghast at his brown paws, brown toes, orange-colored body, and felt ever so strange swinging his new rope-like thunderbolt-tipped tail around. He was shocked, but he knew he couldn't dwell on it for long.

"Gemma, where are you!?" Eric cried out to her, unable to see where in the pile she was buried. "Be careful, there's Thunder Stones everywhere! I... I think I stepped on one."

Suddenly, he saw something trying to emerge from the pile of evolution items. He quickly jumped into action, digging quickly through the stones and other evolution items to see if it was Gemma and if he could help her get out of the pile.

It was Gemma, alright. But what he saw wasn't the face of a Pikachu, but instead that of an Alolan Raichu. Eric's jaw simply dropped in shock and alarm. Her fur was light orange, her ears were all smooth and swirly like, and her eyes were an aquamarine blue. She was totally shocked and bewildered, but still unhurt.

"Eric...?" she asked weakly.

"Oh Gemma, look at us!" Eric moaned, quivering at what happened. "We're Raichu now! How can we possibly call ourselves PXR's Pika Pair like this!?"

"No matter what form you may take, you are still my chu," Gemma smiled to him, filling him with comfort. "Big or small, yellow or orange."

It brought a heartfelt tear to Eric's eye as he smiled. Truly, this was love unlike any other.

But then, a sudden crash and a look toward the all-consuming void was all too much of a reminder that they couldn't linger around for too much longer. It was then that Gemma got an idea. As she tried to dig around for the spammech's head, Eric jumped in to help her, and soon enough, they found it once again. Gemma closed her eyes, reached in, and concentrated. Even with her new Alolan Raichu strength, the hard drive could not be freed from the confines of the spammech's head, but that's not what she tried to do. Instead, she used her new psychic powers, focused on the hard drive disc itself, and she learned. Learned at a faster pace than she had ever before.

"Gemma?" Eric asked, wondering what was going on.

In just a few seconds, she learned everything she needed to know, and once she did, she opened her eyes and grinned.

"I know where the Shadow Network is..." Gemma whispered with a smile. "Come on, let's go! I'll explain later!"

Eric nodded, and then the two of them took off, racing away from the void vortex as suddenly the land behind them was swallowed and reduced to nothingness. The old home of the URPG was torn asunder and whisked away into the forgetful darkness. Thankfully, it had moved far away from this place long before this had happened, but that still didn't reduce the melancholy feeling that was left as it was all taken away.

Before it was too late, Eric and Gemma had arrived back at the Wayback Machine escape pod. They placed their paws on the teleporter, and were whisked away in a flash of light, far, far away from the polluted ruins of PE2K.


Last Poster Wins Casino Central, PXR

Gemma and Eric had arrived back at the Last Poster Wins Casino, a strange but interesting place where casino patrons kept betting on who would be the last person to say something for the next 48 hours, but it was so populated with participants that the likelihood of this ever happening was next to nothing. But among all the fancy neon lights, festive fanfare, comedy routines, and reaction GIFs, patrons here were still enjoying a good conversation anyway even if the actual game seemed endless.

Still, despite the somewhat successful mission, Gemma was still flustered at what happened to herself and Eric. They just weren't their Pikachu selves anymore! Why did Neo and Xanthe have to send them on this mission anyway!?

"ASDCHAGDKAYUSFIUADFAJ NEO WTF DID YOU DO!!!!!!" Gemma cried out, causing a flyby Pidgey to become distracted and bonk his head on the flashing neon sign for Song Titles ABC Casino.

"It'll be okay," Eric comforted Gemma, rubbing her on the back. "We'll find a way. There's got to be something we can do to change us back!"

"I midair surf on my tail now!" Gemma exclaimed, feeling strange about it as she tried to balance herself on her now hoverboard-like tail. "How weird is that!? Whose idea was this? This is just insanity. I don't even know how this works. I give up. Nice knowing you, gravity."

"It's not so bad," Eric comforted her. "But anyway, you said you found something about the Shadow Network back there?"

"Yes," Gemma nodded with a smile. "His IP links to Sacramento, California. All we need to do is get to his central base, destroy his internet, and they'll be sent back to the stone age, along with all of his spammechs. There's just one little issue..."

Eric couldn't imagine what. When it came to the Dark Lord MichaelXD, any terrible thing was possible. Casserole leftovers. Check Engine lights. Empty toilet paper rolls. Dental fillings. Calculus exams. Calculus exams while having dental fillings done. Calculus exams done in a car with a check engine light on when you needed to go to the bathroom and there was no more toilet paper left while having dental fillings done and having to eat casserole leftovers between drilling and filling sessions. They needed to be ready for all this.

"And what's that?" Eric asked, wondering if he even really wanted to know after all.

"He has... an infinite clone army," Gemma informed him. "Endless clones of himself and renditions of imaginary friends and family he made up. We can fight our way through MichaelXD's many clones, but don't even try to stop and destroy all of them. We only need to get to the source of them all, and truthfully, it's better if we go in all stealthy-like and avoid having to fight them begin with."

"Mmm hmm," Eric nodded, thinking that was a good plan. "Sooo... Super NinjaChu Action Gear?"

"Thought you'd never ask!" Gemma grinned.

And so it began...


The Shadow Network, MichaelXD's Wi-Fi

Using their Super NinjaChu Action Gear, Gemma and Eric crept quietly through the dark, creepy, and labyrinth chambers of MichaelXD's Shadow Network catacombs. It was a creepy, metallic, and traditional supervillain lair kind of place. He was out of milk, hadn't cleaned the floors in three years, and it smelled of old pizza and expired nacho cheese. The worst, however, was the fact that every roll of toilet paper was facing the wall. It was a form of cruelty and malice unseen anywhere else in the universe.

As the two Raichu had suspected, the Dark Lord MichaelXD had many clones of himself lying about like some deranged, infinite lives cheat code. No matter how many times MichaelXD was Banhammered, he could take on another clone and simply try again. Endlessly. Forever.

But today, that was going to change. Once MichaelXD's internet connection was blown up, he would no longer be able to bother the PXR Sanctuary ever again. And as punishment, he wouldn't be able to watch YouTube or steam movies either. That also meant no more Steam sales. Surely that was a punishment that served the will of justice.

"PXR, Skype, Discord, Facebook..." Eric whispered quietly as they passed through the dark, hollow, and creepy dark tunnels of the Shadow Network. "Everything. Soon, he won't be able to touch any of it."

"I think I know the way," Gemma told him, using her psychic powers. "Come. Just around this corner."

The two Raichu continued making their way through the dark, unholy halls, but then they came upon a very dark and very menacing place. Before them, the lair ended and opened up to the outside. It was a place of anguish, chaos, and destruction. And there were vast fields of fiery, demonic hellholes and furious black lightening strikes among a jagged, treacherous, and loathsome wasteland landscape. Eric was suddenly very anxious at the sight of this terrible place while Gemma's heart sank. As she had feared, there was no way around getting through this dark, terrible realm. They had to make their way through...

"Wha... what is this!?" Eric exclaimed, looking at the terrible and hellish landscape before them.

"Eric..." Gemma muttered, looking and sounding very uncomfortable, "...that's MichaelXD's internet browsing history."

"NO!" Eric shouted in panic. "There's got to be another way around it! Come on, Gemma, we can't go through that! No living soul could go through a place so cruel and deranged!"

"There's no other way around..." Gemma told him, trying to gather whatever courage she had. "Eric, we'll go through together. We're strong. We can do this."

Eric's heart was racing, but he took a deep breath and tried to focus. She was right. They were strong and they had to do this. Not just for themselves, but for all the people that were depending on them.

"I believe in you," Gemma told Eric with a smile, rubbing his back with her white paw gently. "I believe in us. We were born ready. Ready for anything. Come on, we can do this!"

Eric nodded with a strong smile, and with a deep breath, both of them plunged into the dark recesses of MichaelXD's browsing history. As they struggled across the dark and miserable landscape, they could hear voices. Terrible, hissing and laughing shadows of voices. All the horrible things that MichaelXD sought out and desired were now together like one massive banquet hall of horror and malice. The two Raichu trembled, but courageously carried on despite the surrounding of torment.

The two Raichu had to be careful every time they stepped, for one wrong move would send them tumbling into a foul abyss of all the dark lusts and vices that MichaelXD craved. They were foul, loud, and sounded like wailing and gnashing of teeth. Their screams of terror could strike fear into even the strongest warriors. They left the bathroom door open whenever they were using it and kept recycling the coffee grinds. They left Twinkie wrappers all over the floor and ate up all the good ice cream in the freezer. Truly there was little hope for anything good here.

As soon as Eric and Gemma had arrived at the heart of it all, that was where things truly took a turn for the worst. There they saw the Dark Lord standing among the dark and evil piles of his filth, but he was not some evil cyborg dictator. Instead, he was a simple kid that wore just jeans and a sweatshirt. At first, his back was facing them, but then he turned around and looked at Eric all timid and shy.

"Hello... Eric?" MichaelXD asked him, trying to muster a shy smile. "I... I was wondering if you contacted the admins yet. You see, they have it all wrong. Cycling Road is my brother, and his friend is Max. They banned me for accidental ban evasion. No one did anything after I reported it!"

"Nothing you say makes sense!" Eric shouted back to him. "You got banned because you annoy the crap out of people!"

"Can I talk to someone?" MichaelXD asked. "I just want to sign up for the forums. You know, for the first time."

It was simply a trap and Eric and Gemma knew it. Suddenly, out of the hellholes came MichaelXD's army of clones. They came out by the dozens, asking incessant questions and being as annoying as they could possibly be.

"I just want to talk to someone," a clone named Ninjaman had asked.

"Why don't the admins talk to me?" the deceptive clone named Harry emerged.

Eric and Gemma were suddenly surrounded, and soon enough, everywhere they looked, there were MichaelXD clones. They all tried to wear different disguises, but were still the name person.

"How do I reach the admins?"

"Is Sarah on?"

"Can I be unbanned now?"

The pleas and questions were unending. There was no choice. They had to fight. They had to destroy this place. This terrible, terrible unholy place. Eric and Gemma were strong. They had gotten through many horrors before. If they could make it through Photoshop Flowey, they could totally get through this.

"I'm warning you..." Eric told the clones.

"We're not someone you want to mess with."

"HoW dO I ReACh tHE AdMINssSss!?"

"CaN YoU UNbANnn MeeeEEe!?"

The sea of howls, the swarms of moans, and the floods of pleas only got more and more deranged. They were clearly not human. It had to be ended. This simply couldn't go on any longer.

Gemma's hands lit up with holy fire while Eric's cheeks flared with powerful thunderous electricity.

The Ninjaman clone lunged toward Eric, trying to devour his brain, but was instead treated to a crushing ultimate Thunderslam attack, which ripped its way through multiple swarms of clones. The demonic Ninjaman clone was torn to ribbons and vaporized before their eyes, including all the other clones caught in the attack!

Just as the Cycling Road clone tried to attack Gemma from behind, she spun around and leapt into the air, blasting them with a storm of holy fireballs that consumed Cycling Road and his many deranged cohorts. Their evil was purged away, destroyed and never to return again.

Eric used his thunderbolt tail like a knife and sliced off the head of the deceptive clone named Harry. The body of the clone melted into nothingness. At the same time, Gemma had jumped into the air and sent a furious thunderbolt down upon the Max clone, causing the deranged abomination to detonate and explode, destroying several other clones around it.

Meanwhile, the sky raged and the black thunder roared louder. The howls and screams raged harder, and the feeling of dread grew deeper.

But as Eric and Gemma fought courageously and destroyed dozens of clones, hundreds more took their place. It seemed the horde of clones could not be stopped no matter what power they had unleashed upon this deranged and terrible army. And it was clear to see that all the other operatives, warriors, and heroes that had come this way had all been stopped by these ceaseless clones and been reduced to madness and everlasting spam, all meant to destroy minds and forever destroy tempers.

"Get off!" Eric shouted, trying to shake off the zombie-like horde of clones. "You'll never be unbanned!"

"We have to fall back!" Gemma cried out to Eric. "There's too many of them!"

But try as they might, they couldn't even retreat. It was clear what they were about to do. Once Gemma realized it and the horrible truth behind the Dark Lord's plan, she was horrified.

They would try to wipe their memories of this dark and terrible place. They would try to implant some terrible mind-control chip and use their bodies to convince the others MichaelXD was okay and could be welcomed back. No... no, they couldn't be okay with this. There was a dark evil behind MichaelXD that used others to downplay his terrible actions!

"Let go of me!" Gemma cried out, trying to get the filthy and disgusting hands of the clones off of her. "You slimy, disgusting clones!"

For a moment, it seemed like all hope was lost. MichaelXD was going to turn them into puppets and get access back into the PXR Sanctuary. And if that happened... there would be no end to spam. No end to pain. No end to the utter madness. MichaelXD would take an elephant dump worth of spam and would break the toilet handle!

In one last ditch effort, Eric tried to grab onto the dirt to avoid letting the clones drag him into the deep recesses of madness. He refused to give in.

"WhaT'Sss THiSSSss!?" MichaelXD had hissed.

"You don't fight alone, Eric and Gemma."

A calm, soothing and angelic voice had silenced the chaos and the anarchy. It was the voice of Sarah. Eric and Gemma were surprised, never thinking the Bulbasaur would have followed them all the way here.

"Ha, HA!" MichaelXD laughed with a terrible, maniacal shriek as his deceptive human disguise began to melt away. "I KnEW yOU wOUlD CoMEee! JusT WhaT I alWAyS WANted! ThE MInd oF a SEniOR AdMIN! HA HA HA HA! NOW PXR Is MInE! YoU FooLISH-"

But she was not alone either. A second Bulbasaur had emerged from besides her. The true legendary hero, Harry, like no other. It was no lie. It was no illusion. Standing behind the two were the other admins, Neo the Emolga, Dash the Keldeo, and Xanthe the Flareon. Suddenly MichaelXD realized he had suddenly gotten much more than he had wanted...

And the others had soon arrived. Caite the Jolteon. Max the Gible. Saraibre the Charizard. Speed-X the Snivy. And Sam the Riolu. And all the other moderators and members of PXR, now as a massive, overwhelming army. They emerged from over the hill like a flood of light pouring over a valley of darkness and shadow.

"Quite the place you got here, Michael!" Noblejanobii the Shaymin shouted out to him. "Reminds me of something I grabbed with a paper towel before I flushed it down the toilet!"

"We tried being reasonable," Corey the Primarina sighed. "Just didn't take. And now look at you."

"YoU'RE aLL mINE!!" MichaelXD let loose an unholy scream. "PrEPArE fOR thE EnD Of EVeRYTHiNG YoU LoVE! YoU'RE iN My HoUSe NoW."

MichaelXD had commanded his horde of clones to engage the powerful PXR commandos. His dark Lieutenant, Spammyface, was eviscerated by Sarah's powerful Gaia Leaf attack while his Captain, BanEVaDeR was burned to a terrible crisp by Xanthe's Razorfire Blast, leaving only ashes in its wake. And the thousands upon thousands of other clones were torn, crushed, pulverized, and Banhammered to death like it was going out of style. It seemed like the only thing they were able to do was buy him some time.

But as the Dark Lord snickered, he felt that was all he needed.

The ground trembled. The dark realms of the Dark Lord's browsing history shook, the skies raged with dark thunder and lightning, and the hellholes farted out smells worse than old horse vomit. MichaelXD's body began to mutate into a massive and grotesque abomination. He was surrounded by unholy screams as his body grew taller and larger, reaching almost a thousand feet high (or about 30 meters for the Aussies out there). Tentacles. Black and bubbly skin. Spikes. A really long and disgusting snake tongue. Twelve eyes. A pig nose. A shark mouth. And deceptive vomit that pretended to be surveys to win $100 gift cards to Applebee's. An unholy sight unlike any other.

"BEHOLD MY ULTIMATE FORM," the dark monster MichaelXD roared. "NOW WITH SOMETHING EVERYONE HATES. COMIC SANS IN ALL CAPS."

"Damn it!" Noblejanobii shouted. "What is wrong with this psycho!?"

MichaelXD had sent his entire army of clones at the PXR staff. It would take them hours to destroy every last one of them, but for Eric and Gemma, they were the closest to the dark monster and could reach him where the others couldn't because of the swarm. They had this chance to stop him for good while the rest of his army was busy. They knew they wouldn't get another shot at this. It was all down to them now.

Eric had unleashed his most furious Thundercrash attack he could, aiming for the monster's eyes. Meanwhile, Gemma tried to strike at the hideous beast's black heart using a powerful Psychic Storm assault. The dark skies lit up with their furious and courageous attacks, throwing back the dark lightning and terrible horse vomit smells...

...But even in both cases, the damage was almost nothing and barely made a scratch. It would take a century to stop him at this rate!

"USELESS," MichaelXD laughed. "IT MUST BE HARD BEING SO WEAK.:

But Eric refused to give in to him. Just as MichaelXD laughed, he tried to aim his next, furious thunderbolt right for the monster's mouth. But even then, MichaelXD simply ate it and nothing happened. The dark monster simply flashed a demonic grin, relishing the poor Raichu's dismay.

"ALL YOUR ATTACKS FIZZLE!" MichaelXD laughed and taunted. "ALL YOUR BANHAMMERS CRUMBLE AGAINST MY INFINITE POWER. ALL YOUR EMPTY THREATS SIMPLY BOUNCE OFF MY IMMORTALITY. ALL YOUR ATTEMPTS TO IGNORE ME WILL FAIL! I WILL BE PXR'S GOD NOW."

AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT."

Eric knew there had to be another way. There had to be something. The MichaelXD monster vomited more spam at Eric and Gemma, attempting to slather them with mind-destroying slime. They only just barely managed to dodge away. Eric was then struck by one of the hideous black tentacles, feeling a pain and kind of burn that just felt terribly creepy in every way imaginable.

"MY CLOUD OF SPAM WILL BLOT OUT THE SUN," MichaelXD laughed and taunted. "MY CLONES WILL DEVOUR YOUR WORLD. AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO END IT."

It seemed hopeless and it looked like they were doomed. But even despite these dark moments, Eric saw the rest of the staff doing battle with the Dark Lord's clone army. They were doing their best, and it reminded Eric that he needed to do his best also. And Gemma, his pair, his love, was here besides him. Truly, he wasn't alone.

It was then that Eric had grabbed Gemma's paw. Even if it looked like the end, they had to believe there was another way. They shared a bond like any other. And then there was something profound that the dark and evil abomination of MichaelXD would never be prepared for.

The power of love.

Suddenly, a white and pink-tinted flash had surrounded Eric and Gemma. A new power had awoken within them. A brilliant light had sundered the dark realm of MichaelXD's browsing history, purging and erasing the evil around it.

As if by some kind of miracle, their true forms had been restored. The two of them were Pikachu once more, now surrounded by a brilliant light.

"YOU THINK THAT CAN STOP ME!?" MichaelXD laughed with a hideous and unholy shriek. "HAVE A TASTE OF THIS!"

His flurry of disgusting tentacles attempted to attack the pair, but unlike before, they were ripped apart and shredded to pieces by the very aura of love, leaving nothing but smoldering husks in their wake. In shock, MichaelXD tried using his foul and disgusting tongue instead, but even the dark and fetid poison-slathered muscle was obliterated by this such powerful elemental force.

"IMPOSSIBLE!!" MichaelXD shrieked in anger with black ooze leaking from his severed tongue. "YOU'RE GOING TO WISH FOR DEATH NOW!"

He had reached deep within the spammy reservoirs of his hideous stomach to conjure up the worst and most wretched of spam filth he could possibly vomit. Phony surveys. Endless emails. Incoherent blogs. He unleashed everything from the worst to the worst he could throw up.

After a deluge of the worst spam ever imaginable was unleashed upon the two Pikachu, it was vaporized against the aura barrier of love. MichaelXD had nothing left. Nothing left but his ugliness, and even that had limited uses against anyone that's been on the internet.

"You invaded our home," Eric scolded MichaelXD. "You harassed our family and friends. You broke our laws, you bothered our leaders, and you denied you did anything wrong. For that, you have to be unplugged."

Eric and Gemma held hands, and suddenly, the light from their aura of love surged forward at the MichaelXD monster, obliterating the hideous, final form of MichaelXD.

"NOOOOOOO!!" MichaelXD howled with a horrible wail.

The dark monster was destroyed with a powerful explosion of light, and all of the horrible and disgusting body parts crumbled away. All of the darkness and filthy stuff was vaporized, having no hold over the power of love.

Suddenly, the whole area began to shake. MichaelXD's clones were suddenly vaporized, but the whole area was collapsing! Quickly, the PXR army headed out as the apocalypse fell upon MichaelXD's internet connection. Everything was about to be erased, and they had to run before they were caught in the cataclysm.

Eric and Gemma quickly turned around to escape, running as fast and as hard as their feet could carry them. Their hearts were racing, their adrenaline was on fire, but even from the distance, they could still hear a whimper.

"Can I be unbanned now?" the now human form of MichaelXD asked as his world crumbled around him.

"No," Sarah shouted back to him. "Go read a book instead."

The staff and members of PXR escaped in time as MichaelXD's connection was sucked into the darkness. Just as they had all cross over into safety, they saw MichaelXD's dark and hideous lair, as well as the dark and plagued lands of his browsing history, be forever sucked into the void.

The day had been won. The toilet had been flushed. The garbage had been taken out. The battle was over, and now an era of peace and happiness could begin once again. Flowers would bloom bigger than ever before. The sun would shine brighter, the birds would sing louder, and candy would be cheaper. The stock market would be up, coffee would be half price, and Nintendo promised to stop hitting fans with cease and desist orders.

Truly, today had been magical.


PXR Staff HQ

There was a grand celebration at PXR HQ. Colorful steamers were strung, balloons were filled and aloft, and the Christmas lights that hadn't been taken down yet were turned on again. The staff of PXR was happily celebrating a truly glorious and magical day indeed.

"There you go," Neo the Emolga said with a smile as he opened up a pizza box containing a fresh, piping hot pizza. "Extra cheese as promised."

"Awesome!" Eric cheered as he quickly grabbed a slice. "Say, think MichaelXD will ever be back?"

"Possibly," Xanthe replied, smirking and shrugged a bit. "But you see, that's the fun part of being a mod. When the bots and spammers come back, you get the slam the hammer down on them again. It brings such a tear of joy to my eye."

"Hmm, I bet," Gemma laughed as she thought of herself wielding a mighty Banhammer of her own. "Must be kind of fun, really."

Neo and Xanthe nodded, recalling many times where they had to do such a thing. Even beyond MichaelXD, there would always be spammers, and always be ad bots, just begging for that extra bit of attention. It gave Neo many fond memories of asking the bots if they had his attention now after he slammed them to pieces.

"Say, you know, this really wasn't such a bad prank," Eric smiled as he enjoyed another slice. "I thought you said you were going to prank us like a thief in the night."

"I know!" Gemma asked, looking curious at Neo. "This wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. We got to become heroes and we saved the day! How bad is that?"

"Think we should tell them what's in that pizza?" Neo asked Xanthe the Flareon.

"Nah," Xanthe giggled. "I still find it funny they never asked why we only ordered one."

THE END.

[Noblejanobii]

Haha man this was great! Makes me want to post my secret Santa story for Sarah on here!

Also I got two lines YUSH

[AD]

OMG IM CRYING, THE XD PART OMG IM CRYING LMAO

This was beautiful, just beautiful. 10/10 would recommend

[Suicune's Fire]

Noblejanobii POST IT!!! Also gosh, I need to get to this soon--and I will! xD I'll post when I have. Can't wait to see what the stars of the story think. ;3

[Noblejanobii]

Sarah's Steam Sellout
Starring Pokémon Trainer Sarah
Featuring: Suicune's Fire Neo Emolga Dash Rival Max Chakramaster Lunar Latias Bulbasaur HKim Speed-X Corey


The building shook as an earthquake tore through it. A young bulbasaur clung to the ground as the quake settled before continuing her journey up the stairs. It had been a long war, but now they were reaching a breaking point. And it was all Archaic’s fault.

The bulbasaur quickly ascended the stairs and turned into the first room. Several heads turned as she entered. The first was a bulbasaur with a blue bowtie, her co-commander, Harry. He was observing the progress of the destruction that Archaic had caused. Next to him was the resident programmer, updating the defenses of all the buildings as best he could, Dash the Keldeo. On the bulbasaur’s right were an Emolga and uniquely colored Flareon. The Emolga, Neo, was coordinating an aerial assault on the oncoming armies, as such strategies had been very successful deterrents so far. Finally, the gold flareon known as Super Secret Double Agent Xanthe was busy relaying information for means of strike attacks to her partner, a Shaylava named Super Secret Double Agent Sloane. However, everyone paused in their work as the bulbasaur with a pink bow entered the room.

“Sarah,” Harry said tentatively, “why are you back so soon? I thought you were off to make negotiations with Archaic.” Sarah shook her head and walked to a nearby chair. She climbed into it then gave the group a serious look.

“I was, however, Archaic cannot be reasoned with. At first, I thought just turning the entirety of Bulbagarden’s users into bulbasaurs would have been enough for him. However, the power has gone to his head. He has set his sights onto the whole world now.” There was a collective gasp in the room. This was unsettling news. The Crossroads had been fighting an uphill battle for a long time, as had many other civilizations around the web. To have no end in sight was a horrifying reality. Pokemon Crossroads might have had a chance at victory when Ray was running the show, but ever since his capture at the hands of Evil Figment the Houndoom from Bulbagarden, Sarah had been forced to take over the war. All of the main force feared the worst for Ray, assuming he was either dead or a brainwashed bulbasaur soldier. At this point there was little they could do, since there was no known cure to the weapons Archaic was using.

“There might be a way to fix that,” Harry offered. Sarah turned to look at her fellow bulbasaur. Now he had her attention. “Max mentioned earlier that they had made a breakthrough and wanted to see you when you returned.” Sarah needed no further coaxing. A breakthrough could be just what the Crossroads needed to survive this war. With Pokefarm and Marriland already overrun, it was only a matter of time before they tore through Serebii, Petalburg Woods, and then reached Pokemon Crossroads. Sloane had mentioned that she controlled several smaller scale forums, but that raised many questions of their own. Would they be able to handle all the users from Crossroads? Would they be eventually overrun as well? Could they even evacuate there in time? There were just too many variables with that, so they had to be a last resort.

“Continue your work,” Sarah ordered, “I will go down to see what Max has discovered. In the meantime, keep our defenses as sharp as we can and keep me updated on any urgent developments.” A chorus of “yes ma’am!”’s answered Sarah before all four pokemon returned to work. Sarah turned back to the stairs and began to descend to the floor just below the one she was currently on. She pushed open the door and exited the stairwell to reveal a floor full of scientists and experiments. While normally this place would not be so busy, ever since the beginning of the war, it had been bustling with users from all sorts of backgrounds.

Sarah continued her stretch to a room at the end of the main hall on this floor. She raised her foot and knocked. A soft “come in” answered her. Sarah pushed open the door and looked around in search of the scientist. It took a moment for her to locate the Gible, but she spotted him hidden in the depths of his work.

“Max, you wanted to see me?” The Gible looked up from his work and smiled at Sarah. He leapt down from his stool and rushed over to Sarah.

“Yes I did, my fellow Hooligan! Follow me, I think I made a breakthrough.” Max began to lead Sarah to a deeper part of his lab as he continued to speak. “As you recall, this whole epidemic started because the Bulbagarden community got ahold of our Pikachu Survivor Game technically and modified the weapons to turn everyone in bulbasaurs. However, we have no idea what we did so none of the cures we have work against it. But, recently, I discovered something while experimenting with the cure.”

Max took Sarah deep into his lab where many of the bulbasaurs that had been captured were being kept. Among them was Eric. Eric was already a bulbasaur before the war started, however, he and his partner, Mike, had been sent out on a scouting mission, and Eric sacrificed himself for his pair. He was now a brainwashed bulbasaur, and one of the main bulbasaurs Max worked on to create a cure.

“While working with Eric earlier today, it seems a variation of the cure worked on him.” Sarah looked at the younger bulbasaur. He was currently asleep in his cage. But if the cure had worked, then why was he still in cage? Max seemed to sense Sarah’s doubting and quickly added, “It only worked for a little bit and only on him. I think it may have something to with the fact that he was already a bulbasaur.” Sarah sighed. It was upsetting that this had not worked, but at the same time, there was still a sliver of hope that they were on the right path.

“Thank you for showing me this, Max. It is good to see we are progressing. Is there anything else you wanted to show me?” Max shook his head.

“I’m assuming negotiations did not go well?” he asked with his head slightly cocked to the side. Sarah shook her head.

“Archaic is too far gone. The only thing that can save us now is that cure. We’re depending on you, Max.” Max flushed a little before saluting.

“You can count on me!” he declared before diving back into his work. Sarah turned and led herself out. She was starting to enjoy the silence when a Snivy ran up to her.

“Sarah! It’s urgent!” Sarah stumbled back a bit, startled by the messenger. She recognized the snivy to be the ultra fast Speed-X. “We need to head back upstairs now! Xanthe’s gone crazy.” Sarah needed no further explanation. She followed Speed back upstairs to the headquarters, where they were greeted with a very peculiar sight. In the center of the room, a shrine had been built, filled to the brim with lit candles and pictures of Sloane. Xanthe was currently dancing around it, causing Harry, Neo, and Dash to all stare at her a bit oddly.

"OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO SCOUR THE ENTIRE WORLD. I DON'T CARE IF I ALL OF YOU DIE IN THE PROCESS LOL SOZ. LOCATE HER!!!!!!!!!" she screamed as she danced. Sarah looked at Speed, who only shrugged.

“She claims she’s performing a “Sloane Return Dance”,” Speed explained. Oh great, that was just what they needed. Sloane had been captured. Well there was only one thing they could do.

“Xanthe, I’m going to re-pair you Sam. Sloane’s been officially demodded for like the one gazillionth time.” Xanthe turned to Sarah and put on her “deal with it glasses”.

“I WILL NOT ABANDON MY SUPER SECRET DOUBLE AGENT BUDDY!!!!!” Xanthe then proceeded to jump out the window and noclip’d through the sky towards where Sloane was last sighted. Everyone in the room just stared at the gaping hole in the room, confused as to what just happened. Finally Neo spoke up.

“I think we should go after them. They are some of our best operatives.” Sarah frowned a bit. She did not really want to. After all, they were known as Double Agents for a reason. Sarah had been expecting a coup for almost two years now. It was only a matter of time. But, since Neo insisted, she would allow it.

“All right,” Sarah replied, “send in the Electric Rodent Regime.” Neo saluted then turned back to his computer to relay the orders to Commander Raichu. Moments later, millions of electric rodents could been seen through the giant hole in the wall marching towards the battlefield led by Commander Raichu and his loyal Lieutenant Commanders, Gemma and Chakra. It was such a proud sight that it brought tears to Dash’s eyes. Surely with such a force so large, there was no way they could lose. At least until a giant missile could be seen flying through the air.

“It’s a bulba flu tactical nuke!” Speed exclaimed, “Everybody get down!”

“I’m too young to become a bulbasaur!” Harry yelled before diving under his desk for safety. Sarah ran over to her desk and pushed a button, activating the anti-tactical nuke shields that created a giant Mimikyu costume around the entire building.

“You’re already a bulbasaur!” Sarah yelled back before everything went deafeningly silent when the nuke hit. The five occupants in the room sat quietly until the shield dissolved. Neo was the first to take a look outside, and the sight was terrifying. Every single one of the Electric Rodents was now a brainwashed bulbasaur. Before anyone else could react, Max burst into the room.

“SARAH! I FOUND THE CURE!” Max grabbed everyone in the room and somehow dragged all of them down to his lab where all the subjects were no longer in cages or brainwashed.

“How did you do this?” Speed asked, a little on guard around so many bulbasaurs.

“I dropped this vial of cure into the nuclear blast and by adding a little Corey magic-” Corey poked his head in through a nearby air vent and waved before disappearing, “I was able to cure all these bulbasaurs. If we can just get a tactical nuke and spread the cure everywhere then we can save the day.”

“But how are we going to get a tactical nuke? Those things are impossible to recreate since somebody used them all,” Dash pointed out while glaring at Neo who shrugged as he put on his forever gold sunglasses. Suddenly a Xanthe appeared, busting through the wall holding a Sloane and a tactical nuke.

“DID SOMEONE REQUEST A TACTICAL NUKE!” Grabbing the cure and dropping the Sloane, Xanthe noclip’d back out into the battlefield and proceeded to pull a cooking pot seemingly out of nowhere, mixed everything up, then dropped it on the entire world. AND THUS EVERYONE WAS SAVED.

OR SO THEY THOUGHT!!!

Just as everyone began to celebrate their freedom from the bulbasaur epidemic, Archaic came riding in on a bulbasaurus rex. It appeared the cure did not work on him.

“Surrender to the might of Archaic and the Bulbasaurus Rex!”

“Never!” yelled back a stunningly gorgeous dunsparce in heels, “Sarah defeated you already! You cannot beat our bulbasaur!”

“That’s what she wants you to think!” Archaic replied, “Come Operative 3S^! Your time as a double agent is finally over!” Everyone turned to look at Sarah as she began to laugh maniacally and started to evolve. She grew and grew until she crushed the building and was taller than any form of Corey magic could make someone be. She let out a mighty roar and said,

“FEAR ME I AM THE MIGHTY TRISARAHTOPS!”

Using her trisarahtops magic, Sarah instantly turned everyone back into brainwashed bulbasaurs and defeated all her former comrades. As she walked among the bodies of her old friends, Sloane reached out to her and caught the traitor’s attention.

“Wh-Why Sarah? You were the only thing that kept us going,” Sloane said, “Why would you betray us?” Sarah looked Sloane dead in the eyes and in a deep, bone chilling voice, she answered,

“It’s because games cost too much on Steam.”

[Suicune's Fire]

Awesome. And nice alliteration in the title! >w<

I think it might be worth making a little "guest starring... ___" section to each story so that people can be aware of which stories they get a mention or a minor role in. :] I mean, even just tagging them in the story post would be cool, or even a little directory in the first post (with or without tags). It's nice to have a surprise and see yourself in a story, but it also might make people want to read a story if they know beforehand that they'll be showing up in it. xD


Also Noble, remember that hilarious dream you had involving a bunch of members? I almost think that would be worth posting here. XD Maybe if you story-ised it a little, even. It was so funny. Spidey-Speed: "I will never make the sprinting easier." XDD

[Neo Emolga]

Haha man this was great! Makes me want to post my secret Santa story for Sarah on here!

Also I got two lines YUSH

Your hilarious story for Sarah inspired me to do this, so I thank you for that! And thanks for adding it to the collection! I was hoping you'd do that! :3

Hopefully we rack up quite a nice collection of stuff in here. :3

[Noblejanobii]

Your hilarious story for Sarah inspired me to do this, so I thank you for that! And thanks for adding it to the collection! I was hoping you'd do that! :3

Hopefully we rack up quite a nice collection of stuff in here. :3

Well thank you! Hopefully this will increase traffic and interest in the Writing Desk too.


Awesome. And nice alliteration in the title! >w<

I think it might be worth making a little "guest starring... ___" section to each story so that people can be aware of which stories they get a mention or a minor role in. :] I mean, even just tagging them in the story post would be cool, or even a little directory in the first post (with or without tags). It's nice to have a surprise and see yourself in a story, but it also might make people want to read a story if they know beforehand that they'll be showing up in it. xD


Also Noble, remember that hilarious dream you had involving a bunch of members? I almost think that would be worth posting here. XD Maybe if you story-ised it a little, even. It was so funny. Spidey-Speed: "I will never make the sprinting easier." XDD

I do think that'd be worth adding. I'm about to fall asleep though so I'll have to add the guest stars tomorrow.

Oh you mean the multiple dreams? Yeah I'll have to find them but I'll add them in later if i can!

[Chibi Altaria]

This is so full of gold references I can't...I can't even. XD *still laughing* OH MY GOD, NEO. YOU ARE AWESOME. I WAS AWESOME. ERIC WAS AWESOME. WE WERE ALL AWESOME. except MichaelXD

I legit can't choose a favourite part because the entire thing is my favourite part. xD

[Chakramaster]

I couldn't help myself. I laughed way too hard throughout the entire thing! I loved the way you made everyone. Not just Gemma and myself. Everyone was awesome! Like Gemma said, the references were amazing! MUST RID THE WORLD OF MICHAELXD

I like cheese pizza....extra cheese at that, but my favorite is Pepperoni =p

That pizza better not have what I think it has in it!

[SassySnivy]

Here's my plan:

>Wait until friend comes over Wednesday
>Wait until around the evening
>Get absolutely smashed
>Record us doing a blind, drunken narration of this story, laughs and giggles and all
>Share with PXR
>?????
>Profit

[Chibi Altaria]

Here's my plan:

>Wait until friend comes over Wednesday
>Wait until around the evening
>Get absolutely smashed
>Record us doing a blind, drunken narration of this story, laughs and giggles and all
>Share with PXR
>?????
>Profit

I will pay you to do this.

[Suicune's Fire]

I will pay you to do this.
Here's the revised plan, then:


>Wait until friend comes over Wednesday
>Wait until around the evening
>Get absolutely smashed
>Record us doing a blind, drunken narration of this story, laughs and giggles and all
>Share with PXR
>Gemma pays up
>Profit

[SassySnivy]

It's official, then! I'll tag everyone involved when I finish. <3 IF YOU GUYS WANT ME TO NARRATE ANY OTHER STORIES YOU COME UP WITH, POST THEM BEFORE WEDNESDAY NIGHT 8D

[Neo Emolga]

It's official, then! I'll tag everyone involved when I finish. <3 IF YOU GUYS WANT ME TO NARRATE ANY OTHER STORIES YOU COME UP WITH, POST THEM BEFORE WEDNESDAY NIGHT 8D

This just made my day. XD

I spotted a few pesky typos I need to iron out (yes, I was too impatient and excited to post this!), but they're nothing major.

[AD]

*strokes my beard*

I can't wait

[Scytherwolf]

Oh my gosh this is a great idea. I love it so far.

[Suicune's Fire]

This just made my day. XD

I spotted a few pesky typos I need to iron out (yes, I was too impatient and excited to post this!), but they're nothing major.
I didn't want to be that annoying person who points out typos if you weren't taking the stories too seriously so I didn't, but if you'd like me to point them out next time, I'd be more than happy to. ^^

[Chakramaster]

Suicune's Fire Neo Emolga or pull in Gemma. She's always correcting my misspellings xD. Which is a LOT! Right, Lunar Latias Gemma? XD

[AD]

misspellings. xD

Mein friend, ze period goes AFTER ze sentence. It is also, how you say, improper to start a sentence with a contraction. Grammar is very important to ze higher party, mein comrade.

[Chibi Altaria]

Suicune's Fire Neo Emolga We could pull in Gemma, since she's always correcting my misspellings. xD Which is a LOT! Right, Lunar Latias Gemma? XD

Eeeeeeeeeevery word sentence, my chu. XD

Also, I fixed it.

[Trainer17]

I love nachos :(

BUT LOVELY STORY NEO! I had a good laugh reading it. Chakra and Gemma's love spans through lifetimes. X3 I would write a story myself, but I'd have to be corrected every word. :'3

Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk

[Noblejanobii]

I love nachos :(

BUT LOVELY STORY NEO! I had a good laugh reading it. Chakra and Gemma's love spans through lifetimes. X3 I would write a story myself, but I'd have to be corrected every word. :'3

Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk

We should have a story about "Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk" and its origins. Is it part of your trauma from MichaelXD? Or are you a double agent too? XANTHE IS MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.

[Trainer17]

We should have a story about "Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk" and its origins. Is it part of your trauma from MichaelXD? Or are you a double agent too? XANTHE IS MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.
You know Sloane, that's not a bad idea. Like I go missing and get replaced by that android. You two on a mission to find out what happened. Is it because you took her from me...or am I an agent.......WHAT IS IT?! OHHH THE SUSPENSE!

Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk

[AD]

We should have a story about "Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk" and its origins. Is it part of your trauma from MichaelXD? Or are you a double agent too? XANTHE IS MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.

Wel all have scars from MichaelXD....the evergrande trials were horrifying...i still have nightmares to this day...

[Neo Emolga]

I didn't want to be that annoying person who points out typos if you weren't taking the stories too seriously so I didn't, but if you'd like me to point them out next time, I'd be more than happy to. ^^

Ah, I'll admit, I should have proofread a bit more. Eric and I were having a Mexican standoff with taunts and I had to quickly deploy Item #2 of the prank parade.


I love nachos :(

BUT LOVELY STORY NEO! I had a good laugh reading it. Chakra and Gemma's love spans through lifetimes. X3 I would write a story myself, but I'd have to be corrected every word. :'3

Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk

Yes but... with Carolina Reaper peppers? I think those would be far less enjoyable.

Glad you liked it, and yes, you should add one too!


We should have a story about "Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk" and its origins. Is it part of your trauma from MichaelXD? Or are you a double agent too? XANTHE IS MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.

THIS.

This has to happen. Right naow.

[Suicune's Fire]

Oh I'm not saying anything about it other than if you'd like me to catch 'em, I can. :] If not, all good.

Oh my gosh the tapatalk/SM-G901F origin story would be amazing. Sloane, you are a genius.

[Nekomata]

I have no idea what I just read, but it was fun!

I do remember MichaelXD pestering me to talk to Sarah. xD

[Chibi Altaria]

Neo Emolga I told Eric yesterday (cause we read the story over a Skype call) that I didn't know whether to go "aaaawww..." at the incredibly cheesy cliche of the "power of love" or make a face of disgust and throw up everywhere. XD IT WAS SO WELL DONE.

[Chakramaster]

Eeeeeeeeeevery word sentence, my chu. XD

Also, I fixed it.

I was adding toooooo. So it's doesn't have to be perfect! :p

[Chibi Altaria]

I was adding toooooo. So it's doesn't have to be perfect! :p

It is now

[Neo Emolga]

Neo Emolga I told Eric yesterday (cause we read the story over a Skype call) that I didn't know whether to go "aaaawww..." at the incredibly cheesy cliche of the "power of love" or make a face of disgust and throw up everywhere. XD IT WAS SO WELL DONE.

And that's exactly why I did it! Your love story is like your victory pizza! Hur hur.

Glad to know they were both delicious. XD

[Noblejanobii]

I'd be willing to do Sam's story but it'll be a bit down the to do list.

[Dash]

Noblejanobii
Reading your story felt like being stuck between a drug trip and an 80s superhero comic.

...I don't know if i should be extremely impressed or terrified of that being a possible thing.

[Noblejanobii]

Noblejanobii
Reading your story felt like being stuck between a drug trip and an 80s superhero comic.

...I don't know if i should be extremely impressed or terrified of that being a possible thing.

Haha thank you! It was supposed to be crazy so I guess that works.

[Chibi Altaria]

I want to write something, but I haven't written anything in ages and I'm nowhere near as funny as you guys and I can't think of anything to actually write about. XD

[AD]

I want to write something, but I haven't written anything in ages and I'm nowhere near as funny as you guys and I can't think of anything to actually write about. XD

Neo and why he is so crazy?

[Neo Emolga]

Neo and why he is so crazy?

I am Neo Emolga and I approve this message. XD

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

This was awesome and hilarious, Neo xD I love stories like this! Maybe I'll try and write another one if I can think of something funny. For now, here is a repost of my Chus vs Dittos story.

Just Another Or-ditto-nary Day
Starring PXR!


Part 1

It was another ordinary day at the office. Except that I was late this morning. Hey, don't give me that look. Have you tried to get a t-shirt over a bulb? I think not. So anyway, I reached PXR headquarters half an hour late. I scanned my admin all-access pass and the doors slid open to welcome me. Someone was playing guitar over the intercom again. Sigh, I would need to ask Comatose to practice in his own time in future. Not that he was bad, but surely he had some actual work to do.

I headed for my desk at the back of the office. I passed Rival Max's desk first. He was looking a bit off this morning, somehow. Maybe he was up too late plotting the next big GCEA update: "everyones Pokémon go back to level 1 and are eaten by a Giratina. And no, Brettles never does catch that Weedle".

"Morning fellow hooligan," I said casually. We had been friends for years, but he wanted more commitment, so here we were, fellow hooligans. I stopped to give him the customary hooligan high five, but he just stared at my hand for a moment, before proceeding to remove his shoe and pass it to me. "Uh, so that's what we're doing now?" I said approvingly. Shaking up the routine was always good. It would prevent imposters from infiltrating out little hooligan duo!

Being a Bulbasaur, I had no shoes to offer, but handed him a stapler from the desk next to me. It was a rainbow stapler belonging to Speed-X, but she was no where to be seen. That Snivy would be mad when she found out, but that was tomorrow's problem. Rival Max accepted the stapler gladly. At least, I think he was glad. He still had that strange empty grin on his face.

"Well, work to do!" I said cheerfully and walked past him. The Shaymin Noblejanobii was nearby. usually she had her face buried inside a book, but today she seemed to be wrestling with another Shaymin who was almost her exact doppelganger. She thwacked the other Shaymin on the head with a very heavy-looking book. "Good morning Noblejanobiis," I said nonchalantly and continued on my way. Sheesh, what was with this place this morning? Was anyone getting any work done?

I knew Suicune's Fire wouldn't let me down. The Flareon was a studious sort, when she wasn't called away on long secret missions. Today however she was rolling in front of the fire with that same strange grin I had seen on Max's face. Strange one, that Flareon. But that was Xanthe for you. I tiptoed past, not wanting to interrupt her. I'm sure she was doing something important.

I'd finally reached my office. Gladly, I shut the door, drowning out Jacob's guitar solo and the chatter in the office. I groaned when I saw the huge pile of paperwork on my desk. Sigh. Where was Caite-chan? I'd need her to organize this lot before I could go through it. I picked up my phone to page her, but before I could dial a single numeral, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I responded wearily.

When I looked up, the Vanillite Tenacity was hovering in my doorway. "Have you heard about Ditto, our lord and savior?" he said happily.

I raised an eyebrow. Did someone spike the water with red cordial again or what? I know Trainer17 thought we should all be more peppy and fun, but this was no way to go about it. He promised at his last promotion that he wouldn't do it again!

"I have heard about Ditto," I responded. "In fact I have a small collection myself. Even some foreign ones. Great for breeding, you know. IVs, even shinies!" As I gave Tenacity a run down of all the wonderful ways you could abuse Ditto, he seemed to lose his happy demeanor. In fact, his little ice cream eyes narrowed and he seemed to be positively fuming, because he was slowly melting, dripping vanilla on my new carpet.

"Um, you might want to take care of that," I said, getting up, shooing him backwards and shutting the door. How did he get in here anyway? I would need to speak to Neo Emolga about security.

So as I said, so far it was a completely ordinary day.

*BEEP! Attention Pokémon Trainer Sarah! HKim has mentioned you! You have a new message! BEEP!*

Sigh. Harry again!? Who'd let him out of the retirement home this time? That Bulbasaur could talk his way out of anything. It was impossible to keep him quiet for long. He was always climbing to the highest place available to make some speech or other. Stirring up the people and all that. A true leader. That's why we had to keep him out of the way most of the time. The last thing we needed was an uprising against one of the larger Pokémon forums. I wondered what Harry wanted now. New toilets for the URPG wing? More rainbow ponies? World domination?

I headed back out of the office, shutting the door behind me. Everyone seemed to have disappeared... I guess Harry had mentioned them too. Oh, there they were, gathered out on the balcony. Harry was standing on a podium flanked by Noblejanobii and AWA1997. I didn't know the latter very well, but the Dratini-like Pokémon had a determined look on his face, and Noble looked like she was ready to fight. Just what was going on?

I slipped out onto the balcony, just catching the start of Harry's speech.

"Friends," he began. "We have been invaded."

Part 2

So when HKim said we were being invaded, I admit my first thought was, Here we go again... But as I listened, a few things started to fall into place.

"I'm afraid the forum is in grave danger," Harry continued from his podium. "I have been informed that a sinister presence has been lurking amongst us. It is none other than the feared transforming masters: the Ditto. They have attacked, stealing the identities of our friends and converting others to join their cause. It is unclear what their goal is, but many of our own have already fallen. Tenacity, Xanthe, Max, Speed and Sam have all been taken prisoner, while Ditto run amok in their place."

I looked around the gathered Pokemon and humans. Sure enough, those five were missing, along with a lot of others. Well, I guess that would explain the strange grins... I puzzled.

"Our very own EmeraldSky is investigating the matter, trying to figure out what the Ditto want and how we can stop them," Harry continued. "Steven_Six has been sent in as an undercover agent to scout out the Ditto hideout, while Lightning Dash breaks out our supply of Zoroark to help shield our defenseless members from this onslaught. And finally, Neo Emolga has rallied our very own Electric Rodent Regime to help stop the spread of this disease!"

A cheer went up from the crowd. My palm involuntarily made contact with my head. This was how we were going to stop the Ditto?! "Why can't we just ban them all?" I cried, but my voice was drowned out by the growing cheer.

The Electric Rodent Regime... I still recall the day that Neo's newest project was unveiled. We had some extra money in the budget that year, thanks to the shady deals I had done with the spam- That is to say, the money came from the spambot companies who- The point is, we had some extra moolah and Neo wanted to spend it on defense.

"Defense?" I'd scoffed. I'd been eyeing a lifesize replica plushie of myself, which I thought we could put at the front of the office to watch over everyone. Maybe install some cameras in its eyes... But Neo managed to convince me. To tell you the truth, I only agreed because I wanted to keep Neo busy. When that guy gets bored, he starts coming up with crazy ideas. Just the month before he turned half the forum into Pikachu! Our insurance had covered it, barely, but they had amended our contract, adding a clause which disqualified any future electric-mouse related "accidents" from being paid out. Sadly, Lunar Latias and Chakramaster still hadn't recovered. So the crazy Emolga was given the green light for his little defense project.

The day he took me down to check out the prototypes is one I'll never forget. I thought he was creating crazy advanced weaponry, maybe some catapults too, for good measure. But instead I was met by hundreds of electric rodent-inspired mech suits, each with Thunderbolt capabilities, Neo assured me proudly. I tried on the Dedenne suit and I admit it was pretty fun frying the targets. But man, was that fur itchy! It still makes me scratch involuntarily just thinking about it.

"Tazz and I have the Electric Rodent Regime in full working order and ready to go," Neo had notified me a few weeks later.

"Tazz?" I replied, lifting an eyebrow. "You mean The Nonexistent one?" I don't know why Neo kept insisting that his imaginary friend was involved. I'd had reports just the week before that Neo had been unleashing a bunch of weapons at some kind of hill down the road, Ho-Oh knows why. When he was questioned, he claimed that he and Tazz had been fighting over said hill, but it all sounded nuts to me. Besides it was more like a grassy knoll.

So here we are facing the most terrible threat to the forum so far, and Harry wants to use Neo's science project to fight back. Worse still, my most trusted advisors had been turned into Ditto.

"We do have a few clues about where all these Ditto came from," Harry continued. "A new member joined us recently. He seemed to be a regular guy, no one suspected a thing. Alas, his absurd posting capacity should have tipped us off that he was being controlled by the Ditto hivemind!" Harry shook his head, boos issued from the crowd. "Who knew, on that Fate-d night, that this new member would seal our-" Harry looked over the crowd to see that many of them were glaring. He dared not make another fate joke. "-destiny," he finished, wincing. The crowd lowered their weapons.

This was insane! I knew I had to do something, so I slipped backward, out of the crowd and toward my office.

If anyone wants to continue this, feel free. XD

[Suicune's Fire]

OH MY GOD SARAH YOU ARE SO FUNNY. Holy crapola. These were definitely my favourite parts:

My palm involuntarily made contact with my head. This was how we were going to stop the Ditto?! "Why can't we just ban them all?"

and

The Electric Rodent Regime... I still recall the day that Neo's newest project was unveiled. We had some extra money in the budget that year, thanks to the shady deals I had done with the spam- That is to say, the money came from the spambot companies who- The point is, we had some extra moolah and Neo wanted to spend it on defense.

THE SPAMBOT THING AHAHAHHAA. And I laughed at "Why can't we just ban them all?" XD You're so funny. Great story. 10/10.

[Neo Emolga]

Oh man, how could I forget about this one? I had kind of forgotten the whole Ditto thing had churned out a bunch of these incredibly silly stories. :3

This part is hilarious:
"But Neo managed to convince me. To tell you the truth, I only agreed because I wanted to keep Neo busy. When that guy gets bored, he starts coming up with crazy ideas. Just the month before he turned half the forum into Pikachu! Our insurance had covered it, barely, but they had amended our contract, adding a clause which disqualified any future electric-mouse related "accidents" from being paid out. Sadly, Lunar Latias and Chakramaster still hadn't recovered. So the crazy Emolga was given the green light for his little defense project." XD

https://s5.postimg.org/8mesvjfif/Emolga_My_Bad.png I'll admit, I can be a very crazy Emolga sometimes.

I still think you make a very cute Dedenne! But Bulbasaur is a classic, so there's no going wrong there either.

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

Haha glad you guys liked it! I reread it last night and found it pretty amusing. XD I've always wanted to write a story about the forum as a place (even back on PE2K!). Never really got around to it, so this was fun to try!

[Trainer17]

YES I ALWAYS SPIKE THE DRINKS! :'3

hmmm I'm captured too as well? Dang it. But what if....I WAS THE DITTO LORD.

Funny story Sarah. X3 excellent work thar. All these stories are motivating me to write a story of my own....

Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk

[Chibi Altaria]

"Good morning Noblejanobiis," I said nonchalantly and continued on my way.

Cause you didn't realise then that something was a little off. XD That must mean it's totally normal for the PXR gang to be crazy! I still really love this story no matter how many times I read it. Cx Oh, and this is my absolute favourite part:


"Tazz?" I replied, lifting an eyebrow. "You mean The Nonexistent one?" I don't know why Neo kept insisting that his imaginary friend was involved. I'd had reports just the week before that Neo had been unleashing a bunch of weapons at some kind of hill down the road, Ho-Oh knows why. When he was questioned, he claimed that he and Tazz had been fighting over said hill, but it all sounded nuts to me. Besides it was more like a grassy knoll.

I always die when I read the part about Neo's "imaginary friend". XD You should write a sequel sometime!

[SassySnivy]

I recorded this. THe first chapter of the frist story anyway. I'll do the rest tomorrow. It's HILARIOUS. Also I'll have to warn you guys because it's definitely deserving of an M rating. xD Maybe. I'll upload it tomorrow

[Neo Emolga]

I recorded this. THe first chapter of the frist story anyway. I'll do the rest tomorrow. It's HILARIOUS. Also I'll have to warn you guys because it's definitely deserving of an M rating. xD Maybe. I'll upload it tomorrow

I'm laughing and I haven't even listened to it yet. XD

[Chibi Altaria]

I recorded this. THe first chapter of the frist story anyway. I'll do the rest tomorrow. It's HILARIOUS. Also I'll have to warn you guys because it's definitely deserving of an M rating. xD Maybe. I'll upload it tomorrow

Agree with Neo. XD Anything you narrate is hilarious anyway!

[AD]

it's definitely deserving of an M rating.

Things are getting muy fuego

[Chakramaster]

I recorded this. THe first chapter of the frist story anyway. I'll do the rest tomorrow. It's HILARIOUS. Also I'll have to warn you guys because it's definitely deserving of an M rating. xD Maybe. I'll upload it tomorrow

YEEEEEEEEEES! I can't wait to hear it! It'll be so awesome! Looking forward to it Speed!

[SassySnivy]

WOW THIS TOOK FOREVER TO GET TO AND I'M SORRY. </3 (http://vocaroo.com/i/s04HGlo5y1aR)

Content warning: drunkeness, crude language, and quite possibly sexual references peppered in here and there. I can't remember and really hate hearing my own voice so I really don't want to go listen to it...xD If you know my humor you probably know that it's a 99% chance something sexual, be it a joke or innuendo is gonna be thrown in there.
Neo Emolga Suicune's Fire Noblejanobii Pokemon Trainer Sarah Chakramaster Chibi Altaria
@MichaelXD

[Noblejanobii]

WOW THIS TOOK FOREVER TO GET TO AND I'M SORRY. </3 (http://vocaroo.com/i/s04HGlo5y1aR)

Content warning: drunkeness, crude language, and quite possibly sexual references peppered in here and there. I can't remember and really hate hearing my own voice so I really don't want to go listen to it...xD If you know my humor you probably know that it's a 99% chance something sexual, be it a joke or innuendo is gonna be thrown in there.
Neo Emolga Suicune's Fire Noblejanobii Pokemon Trainer Sarah Chakramaster Chibi Altaria
@MichaelXD

Who is that with you? XD

This was hilarious to listen to! Great job.

"AH THAT'S COLD THAT'S COLD!"

[SassySnivy]

Who is that with you? XD

This was hilarious to listen to! Great job.

"AH THAT'S COLD THAT'S COLD!"

That was my friend Taylor. <3

[Noblejanobii]

That was my friend Taylor. <3

Ohhhh I see!

"I'll explain the Like a Million Alligators meme later." *proceeds to elaborate then*

[Chibi Altaria]

I love how there's like, a bazillion tangents while reading the story. And that was only the first part. XD

[SassySnivy]

I love how there's like, a bazillion tangents while reading the story. And that was only the first part. XD

THAT'S WHAT I DO WHEN I DRINK. I RELEASE MY INHIBITIONS (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI) ;D

[Suicune's Fire]

THAT'S WHAT I DO WHEN I DRINK. I RELEASE MY INHIBITIONS (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI) ;D
omfg don't. I love that song. When I was like 14 I did a dance to it and my brother filmed it. I broke tradition by PUNCHING IT.

Also your narration. Is pure gold. Now I want to do a drunk reading. But I think it's copyrighted to you. XD I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, but I will tomorrow, haha.

[SassySnivy]

omfg don't. I love that song. When I was like 14 I did a dance to it and my brother filmed it. I broke tradition by PUNCHING IT.

Also your narration. Is pure gold. Now I want to do a drunk reading. But I think it's copyrighted to you. XD I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, but I will tomorrow, haha.

Thank you! Blah, ideas such as this don't have copyright attached to them anyway. GO FOR IT 8D

[Bulbasaur]

OOH. I want to do this! :D

[Chibi Altaria]

We should all do this. XD

[Suicune's Fire]

We should all do this. XD
Gemma you drunk would be hilarious. Everyone listening would be like "WHO GOT A TWELVE YEAR-OLD DRUNK??!?!"

[Chibi Altaria]

Gemma you drunk would be hilarious. Everyone listening would be like "WHO GOT A TWELVE YEAR-OLD DRUNK??!?!"

...I'm going to pretend that was a compliment and act mighty pleased with myself CAUSE I'M STILL YOUNG AND FABULOUS.

[Suicune's Fire]

...I'm going to pretend that was a compliment and act mighty pleased with myself CAUSE I'M STILL YOUNG AND FABULOUS.
This. Was the response I was hoping for. ;) IT IS A COMPLIMENT.

[Noblejanobii]

We should all do this. XD

I can't legally get drunk though. WAIT. CAN I BE DRUNK ON SODA?

[SassySnivy]

Gemma you drunk would be hilarious. Everyone listening would be like "WHO GOT A TWELVE YEAR-OLD DRUNK??!?!"

I swear I read that and just about spit my soda EVERYWHERE in Wendy's. THANKS XANTHE

[Noblejanobii]

I swear I read that and just about spit my soda EVERYWHERE in Wendy's. THANKS XANTHE

I'd probably be the one asking it too.

[Rival Max]

WOW THIS TOOK FOREVER TO GET TO AND I'M SORRY. </3 (http://vocaroo.com/i/s04HGlo5y1aR)

Content warning: drunkeness, crude language, and quite possibly sexual references peppered in here and there. I can't remember and really hate hearing my own voice so I really don't want to go listen to it...xD If you know my humor you probably know that it's a 99% chance something sexual, be it a joke or innuendo is gonna be thrown in there.
Neo Emolga Suicune's Fire Noblejanobii Pokemon Trainer Sarah Chakramaster Chibi Altaria
@MichaelXD

I wasnt mentioned but I found this kind of funny. I always enjoy random drunk people swearing. I also enjoy Trainer17 swearing in his recordings.

[Suicune's Fire]

I swear I read that and just about spit my soda EVERYWHERE in Wendy's. THANKS XANTHE
https://38.media.tumblr.com/8dc999503a69cd822cc2eff6ad91ef24/tumblr_mtphgjJ3Du1sja4cjo1_500.gif

[Trainer17]

I wasnt mentioned but I found this kind of funny. I always enjoy random drunk people swearing. I also enjoy Trainer17 swearing in his recordings.

That's pretty much me irl as well x3 swearing here and there and everywhere :D

[AD]

I can't legally get drunk though. WAIT. CAN I BE DRUNK ON SODA?

You would get indigestion more than anything, which sucks, unless you are someone who doesn't get it from soda, in which case, jelly af

[Noblejanobii]

You would get indigestion more than anything, which sucks, unless you are someone who doesn't get it from soda, in which case, jelly af

I drink about three bottles of soda a day. I'm trying to cut back but I've never had indigestion.

[AD]

I drink about three bottles of soda a day. I'm trying to cut back but I've never had indigestion.

I used to drink 2 two liters a day.

The indigestion came quick.

[Noblejanobii]

I used to drink 2 two liters a day.

The indigestion came quick.

Well yeah that's a bit much

[Soups]

I used to drink 2 two liters a day.

The indigestion came quick.

Indigestion is the worst.

[Chakramaster]

Yeah 2 liters a day is tooooo much I'd say. Not only bad for your teeth, but you and your health too. I bet the indigestion was awful

[Noblejanobii]

Xanthe's Xeriscape Exploit
Starring Suicune's Fire
Featuring:MichaelXD, Pokemon Trainer Sarah, HKim, Trainer17, Chibi Altaria, Chakramaster, Kaoru, Noblejanobii, Kas, ShadowBolt25, Sacred Fire, AWA1997, Bulbasaur, EmeraldSky, Caite-chan, Neo Emolga, Saraibre Ryu, Speed-X, Dragon Master Mike, and Rival Max.
Xanthe’s head felt like it was splitting open. She couldn't wrap her head around any thoughts and all she could see were swirling colors. She blinked her eyes a few times, trying to gather her bearings when suddenly a loud booming voice assaulted her ears.

"DAUGHTER OF THE GENIES! WELCOME TO THE GENIE REALM! IT IS YOUR DESTINY TO BECOME A GREAT HALF GENIE HERO! NOW-" The voice abruptly stopped, its echoing causing intense pain to throb through her head. There was a low murmuring and then the voice returned. "YOU ARE NOT A HALF GENIE! WHO ARE YOU?"

“Uhhh… I'm Xanthe?” she said in a distinct Australian accent. There was an indistinct muttering before the voice shouted,

“WELL I DON'T KNOW, MICHAELXD! MAYBE YOU SHOULD PICK THE RIGHT PERSON NEXT TIME!” Xanthe glanced around awkwardly as the disembodied voice cleared its throat. “VERY WELL THEN! SINCE MICHAELXD IS AN INCOMPETENT INTERN YOU ARE NOW OUR HERO! I WILL NOW GIFT YOU WITH YOUR FIRST TRANSFORMATION! USE IT WISELY! IF YOU PERFORM WELL THEN YOU WILL RECEIVE MORE!”

A floating gold light suddenly descended and enveloped Xanthe. She felt herself shrinking, her hair growing, and her whole body changing. The light slowly dissipated and Xanthe collapsed. She tried to push herself up but found she could no longer balance on two legs. Xanthe collapsed again then pushed herself up, feeling as if she were crawling. A mirror appeared in front of her and Xanthe stared at her reflection. Was that her?

Xanthe was in the form of a fox with golden fur except for a teal and purple tuff on her head and red ears. Her eyes were green and the fur around her neck matched the color of her head. Xanthe looked down at her paws to see they were a cream color and she had a tail. Xanthe watched as it swished back and forth gently.

“NOW GO!” Suddenly the world around Xanthe turned white and she plopped down into the middle of a hallway. She looked around before quickly noting that she was mostly back to normal. Mostly because her normal clothes had been replaced with desert attire. How odd. Xanthe stood up right as a man rounded the corner.

“Oh!” he shouted in surprise, staring at Xanthe in confusion before a demonic grin split across his face. “I must catch Sarah. It seems we have a last minute applicant.” Last minute applicant? The man disappeared again before Xanthe could ask him what she was an applicant for. She decided the best course of action was to follow him. Maybe he or this “Sarah” person could explain to her where she was. Xanthe walked down a long decorative hallway. Gold designs patterned the walls and doors while a red carpet covered the floor. The assistant led Xanthe to a door at the very end of the hall. He opened it and seemed amused Xanthe had followed, but did not say anything. He stepped into the office and called, “Yo Sarah! We have a last minute applicant! Normally I’d turn them away but I figured it’d be more amusing to annoy you by bringing them in anyway!”

Xanthe poked her head inside to spot what she assumed was the head of this whole operation as the man laughed evilly to the side. Seated at the table was a young woman with brown hair to her shoulders and some rocking aviator shades. Xanthe noted Sarah was dressed in a similar outfit to herself, think bra top with a jingly skirt. Sarah’s was just green versus Xanthe’s was red. She was also petting a Bidoof, who looked about as pleased as Sarah did about Xanthe’s arrival. She lowered her shades a little and scoped Xanthe out before saying,

“So you’re applying to be this town’s damn guardian genie? Never thought you’d have the guts to do it, Xanthe. Seem you’re not the hell bound bastard we all thought you were. Well, make this piss show quick because I have plushies to organize and a hooligan to do hooligan stuff with.” Xanthe paused, not sure how to respond to this. This was obviously Sarah from PXR, right? But like… a more “I’ve traveled through the depths of Tartarus so cross me and so help me I will cut you” version. So then, wait, was it possible? Xanthe looked over at the assistant. With his blue bow tie, he held a striking resemblance to the Harry she knew, albeit less Bulbasaur-like. In fact, it actually seemed somewhat out of place on his outfit, as other than the bowtie, Harry was shirtless. He was wearing some pants that looked like they had been stolen from MC Hammer too and a biker jacket. On top of his head rested a pair of Ray Bans. Not exactly a fashion do. This was a strange world she had dropped into.

“Well… I can kick and punch stuff,” Xanthe offered. Sarah’s expression became more annoyed at that. Wrong answer. Xanthe began to scramble for an answer when she recalled the event that had occurred just before she was dropped here. “Oh and I can transform into a Flareon!” This seemed to catch Harry and Sarah’s attention.

“Go on,” Sarah encouraged with a wave of her hand, “show us then. Don’t want you telling us any damn lies, now do we?” That presented somewhat of a problem. Xanthe was not quite sure how to recreate the transformation. As Xanthe pondered this predicament, a voice whispered across her consciousness. Before she could stop herself, Xanthe raised her hands into the air and crossed them. She wiggled her hips and then spun. Light consumed her and Xanthe shrunk into the golden fox she had been in the genie realm. So all she had to do was dance? That was simple enough. Xanthe stomped her paws triumphantly and looked at Sarah and Harry, who looked as if they couldn’t believe their eyes.

“Well I’ll be,” Harry muttered, “she can turn into a Flareon.” Sarah bent down to pick up her sunglasses, which had dropped onto the floor in the utter shock of the moment for Sarah. Xanthe closed her eyes and found returning to her normal form was much simpler, with a mere thought Xanthe could return to her human form. Xanthe crossed her arms as Sarah sighed.

“It seems the bastard has proven herself. Congratulations, you are now the Crossroads’ Guardian Genie.” Harry clapped excitedly until he received a glare from Sarah. Sarah lowered her glasses a little so she could make eye contact with Xanthe. “Just don’t screw it up. We don’t want a repeat of the last damn time you tried to save our little city. Remember what hell you caused with Elite City one through two-thousand?” Xanthe swallowed quietly. She actually couldn’t but she had an idea that in this world it was her fault. “Now get out of here, ya spineless bastard. Otherwise I might have to do to you what I did to Fate. And I’m not saying it wasn’t fun, but it was a bit of a mess to clean up all the blood from the walls. Wasn’t it, Harry?” Xanthe had never fled a building so fast in her life. She could still hear their maniacal laughter ringing in her ears.

She began her trek through the city. So this was the Crossroads? As in PXR? From the way Sarah and Harry spoke, it sounded like it, though this had to be some alternate universe or something. And had MichaelXD been mentioned? What was that fiend up to now? All questions to be answered at another time, Xanthe supposed. For now, she needed to locate some familiar faces. Where was her Super Secret Double Agent buddy when Xanthe needed her most? Well, if this was a town, then maybe everyone had houses here? But she couldn’t act suspicious.

Xanthe looked to her right and spotted a small shop with a rather bland sign that read “Fun & Games”. Sloane often spent a lot of her time there. Maybe she was inside? Xanthe decided to take a look and step inside. As she stepped inside, she noticed something off right away. It appeared to be some sort of bar. Behind the bar stood a man with the plainest expression on his face, a bearded smile frozen there. His unfocused eyes suddenly shot over to Xanthe and he paused in cleaning his cup.

“Welcome to Fun & Games! What can I get you today? An Alphabet Shot? Perhaps a CaH Tequila? Or would you prefer the usual?” The usual? Just like Sarah and Harry, it appeared everyone here had memories that she did not. But she recognized this guy, could it be? Was this Sacred Fire? But he was so… uniform! The Sacred Fire she knew was always changing, never satisfied with anything! Not to mention the whole bar was covered in posters of Garbodor. Weren’t his favorite pokemon Wigglytuff and Ho-oh?

“Sacred Fire? Is that you?” The expression remained unchanged on the user’s face as he nodded.

“Who else would I be? After all, I’ve never changed. Not once in my life!” Even his voice sounded a bit monotone. Okay this was officially creepy.

“I hate Tapatalk!” Xanthe looked around and spotted a drunken guy in the corner. It didn't take her long to recognize him.

“Sam!” Sam lifted his head at Xanthe’s voice and grinned.

“Hey Wifey, how are you?” Xanthe gave Sam a confused look. They had been broken up for over a year now, did he not remember that?

“Um, Sam, you’re paired with Kaoru remember?” Sam frowned and took another shot. He shook his head.

“Nah! You and I are paired! Kaoru’s my ex, that Probopass loving villain. She left me to be paired with the new kid in town because she was more “spontaneous” and “didn’t use Tapatalk”. Such high standards.” New kid in town? No, it couldn’t be!

“She’s paired with Sloane?” Sam nodded his head again.

“Yeah. They’re Especially Evil Pirate Crew Pals. Terrorize the town lawfully all the time. Everyone’s sick of them. Even the nicest users, like Shadowbolt, are growing tired of them. In fact, the results of this year’s MOTY just came out and they tied for “Absolute Worst Members”. They were really proud of it too.”

This was just really confusing and too much to absorb at once. Her Super Secret Double Agent Buddy was now Especially Evil Pirate Crew Pals with Kaoru? And they were lawfully evil? What did that even mean? Xanthe had to get to the bottom of this!

“Well, I have to go now, Sam. I’ll catch you later after you finish your Alphabet Pokemon Style shots. Okay?” Sam lifted his glass towards her and Xanthe took that as her signal to leave. Escaping from the Fun & Games bar, Xanthe began to look around the town even more. It was a strange sight. Besides the outfits which seemed like they’d belong in a Turkish bellydancing video game, all the users and staff she had come to know in her many years were completely different than she remembered. Xanthe glanced into a shop as she passed by and saw Mike on a solid gold throne being fed grapes and being fanned by other users. He laughed at their suffering, the sound like claws scraping across a chalk board. What had happened to his sweet little laugh? She also noticed the three legendary djinn pokemon, Tornadus, Landorus, and Thundurus forcing the users to pamper Mike, and attacking them if they stopped to rest.

Xanthe only turned away when she heard shouts from nearby. People were starting to chant “fight fight fight!” and circled around some people. As Xanthe drew closer she saw Shadowbolt to the side looking very upset, not wanting to intervene in case it caused more conflict. Where had his bold personality gone? Xanthe forced her way through the crowd to see Gemma and Chakra wailing on each other. Gemma had Chakra pinned and proceeded to bite his arm. Chakra cried out and kicked Gemma in the stomach. Gemma recoiled and began to wail on Chakra.

“Take it back! Skylanders is the best video game there is!”

“Never! Batman Forever is the best! Hands down!”

“Bets! Place your bets here! Who will win in the face off? Is it Skylanders or Batman Forever?” Xanthe spotted AWA not too far away, collecting bets from the crowd. From the looks of it, this was not the first time the two had completely duked it out, but this was more than unsettling. What had happened to the Pika Pair? What had happened to everyone? Xanthe forced her way out of the crowd and continued through the town, searching for one thing, anything to be the same. As she wandered past the Groups and Clubs section, Xanthe had to do a doubletake. There was no mistaking that red hair.

“Kas!” Xanthe dashed inside the building and entered the Undertale corner. There was no mistaking it, that was Kas! But why was she here? She was not a huge Pokemon fan so why join PXR? Kas looked up while a grin that made Xanthe’s heart freeze. How could such a sadistic look cross her sweet girlfriend’s face?

“Xanthe! Glad you could make it! I was just showing these pokemon how much I loved them!” Xanthe glanced at the table behind Kas and saw a bunch of stuffed pokemon that had been ripped to shreds. Now she understood why Kas was in the Undertale section. As horrifying as the sight was, Kas’s appearance started to clear things up. Everything was reversed, or at least twisted, in this world. It was not the world she knew, but more like a funhouse mirror version. So then, the question was, how did she get back to the world she knew?

“I’ll have to join you another time, Kas, okay? I need to go look for someone.” Xanthe turned to exit when a sudden shock shook the entire place. Screams erupted from outside and Xanthe regained her balance enough to stumble outside. Just a little ways away, a pirate ship could be seen. That seemed like a good place to start looking if Xanthe ever needed one. Xanthe started to exit the Groups and Clubs section when she collided with someone.

“Eth! Commoner! Watch where you are going. I don’t want your germs all over me.” Xanthe stumbled back a bit before looking at who it was speaking to her. It was Sabi! A sigilyph floated behind her, both partner and pokemon wearing the same pretentious look. This made sense in a twisted world.

“Sabi! I need to borrow your sigilyph.” Sabi snorted and turned up her nose at Xanthe’s request.

“Let you touch my prized sigilyph? Please. You’d ruin his feathers. You ruin everything you touch, like that outfit when you picked it out of the closet this morning.” Sabi glanced at her hand, examining her fingernails before looking back at Xanthe. “What? You still insist, peasant? You persistent cockroaches are what make my job so much harder. You’ve got two perfectly beefy legs right there, just walk wherever you need to go. Now, if you’ll please move, I need to go to the WAR threads. They’re having a sale on gold medals. And I can always use more for my collection.” Sabi laughed, flipped her hair, then walked into Groups and Clubs. Xanthe made a mental note to treasure a not snobby Sabi when she got back to the real world.

Xanthe began to sprint down the street where chaos was erupting… sort of? She could see something attacking people but Xanthe couldn’t quite make out what they were. Bees? She could also hear some arguing in distance. That sounded like the right thing to follow in this world so Xanthe made her way towards the docks. Sure enough, she reached a pirate ship where two girls were standing at the helm arguing about… something?

“All I’m saying is, if we’re gonna release bees on the city, we should park in between the lanes in the dock. I don’t need to get a ticket because you can’t park a ship.”

“Oh so this is my fault? We’re villains, Sloane! We can do whatever we want!”

“That’s not how this works, Kaoru! We’re lawfully evil! And I don’t want another ticket! They’re too damn expensive!” As if summoned by Sloane’s words, Eric-saur suddenly appeared out of thin air wearing a policeman uniform. Sloane spotted him and pointed at him. “Don’t you do it, Eric! I see you!” Eric glared at Sloane and wrote on his pad. He ripped off the ticket and held it out towards the boat. “Eric!” Eric moved closer. “ERIC!” Eric quickly slapped the ticket onto the boat then no-clipped into the ground, disappearing into the pavement. “Arceus damn it, Eric! Now look what you’ve done, Kaoru! We’ve got another ticket to pay!”

“Well it’s not my fault! You shouldn’t let me park the boat then!”

“But you’re allergic to bees! I had to release them otherwise you could die!”

“Fair point. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled. Can you forgive me Especially Evil Pirate Crew Pal?” Sloane broke into a smile and hugged Kaoru.

“Only if you forgive me too, you’re generally great at parking! Just… not with boats.” Xanthe stuck her tongue out. This was disgusting. Still, she was the Guardian Genie now, whatever that means. So that probably meant dealing with these two. Xanthe swung her hips and poofed into a flareon.

“Hey!” she called up to the two, “Stop the bees now or else!” Sloane stared down at Xanthe for a moment before laughing.

“Oh my, is that Xanthe? Kaoru look, it’s the lame-o that’s paired with your ex.” The two pirates laughed pretentiously before jumping in time down in front of Xanthe.

“You think you’re special because you have transformations?” Kaoru boasted, “But these aren’t even our final forms!” The two began to tango in perfect time. Kaoru spun Sloane and suddenly they both changed form. Kaoru was suddenly an amalgamation of a Probopass Forretress fusion and Sloane was a black Turtonator. Even their pokesonas were different in this world? Xanthe decided best not to question it and prepared to fight.

Kaoru, pretty much just a closed forretress with a giant red nose and a moustache, began to spin. When she stopped, all the cannons that popped out of a normal forretress popped out… of her moustache? The moustache cannons all aimed at Xanthe and began to charge a death beam when suddenly Sam dropped out of the sky.

“KAAAAARRRROOOUUUU!!!” he cheered as he landed on top of the giant forretress amalgamation. Kaoru stopped the death beam out of confusion, Sam blocking her view.

“Get off me! You tapatalk infested freak!”

“But I wuv you!” Xanthe wasn’t sure if she should be hurt or relieved at that exclamation when she suddenly received a spike to the face.

“HEY! Eyes on your opponent!” Sloane taunted, surprisingly nimble for being a giant dragon turtle. Xanthe stumbled back then turned her tail on Sloane. She grabbed the dirt on the ground with her back paws and kicked, splashing mud into Sloane’s face. “Ahh! Filth! Must get clean!” Sloane quickly turned and dove into the water. “Ahhh! Water! I’m too heavy to sw-bbblububub!” Kaoru had managed to shake off Sam at this point and saw her sinking pal.

“Sloane! Don’t worry! I’ll save you!” She jumped off after Sloane, picked up her friend and yelled, “This isn’t the last of us! We will have our revenge!” Kaoru lifted Sloane up to the pirate ship and steered the ship away, the bees following after. Xanthe looked over Sam, who was currently sitting on his butt with large sad eyes, staring after the pirate ship.

“Kaoru… come back…” Xanthe returned to her human form and moved to comfort Sam when she felt someone grab the back of her top. Xanthe glanced over her shoulder to see Harry.

“You've been summoned,” he said simply. With that he snapped his fingers and in a split second they travelled through the depths of hell before arriving in Sarah’s office. Xanthe was now convinced Harry was a demon but it was kind of hard to concentrate on anything with all the screams of lost souls ringing in her ears.

“I thought I told you not to screw up, ya bastard.” Xanthe swallowed roughly at Sarah’s tone of voice. “Five damn minutes haven't even passed by and we're already attacked! Your job is to prevent this! Or at least, it was. You're fired. I've already found your replacement.” Sarah snapped her fingers and a familiar face walked in. Dressed in green genie wear, the other Sarah, better known as Speed-X, flipped her hair over her shoulders and smirked at Xanthe.

“It’s cute you thought you could succeed,” Speed commented. “Like, you failed so miserably, I cannot even process it. It’s just, like, too stupid. But you’re not the only user who qualifies for Guardian Genie here, thank Arceus. We’d be like totally doomed if you were. So step aside and let the real super model handle this.” Xanthe took a minute to translate the whole speech. Her brain just couldn’t comprehend such a low level of IQ based speech. Upon reaching the proper translation, Xanthe sputtered a little.

“But I can transform! You were impressed and everything!” Xanthe wasn’t really sure why she was protesting but given she needed to find some way out of here, Guardian Genie seemed like a good segway.

“Like, you’re so self-centered. You really think you’re, like, the only person who can transform? Good thing I’m not so stupid. Totally.” Speed wiggled her hips and dropped to the floor, busting out some sweet break dancing moves before transforming into a Klink. “See? Now, like, get out. Being in the same room as you is like totally cramping my style.” Guess she had no choice. Xanthe dusted herself off as she stood up and exited Sarah’s office again. Back on the streets of the unfamiliar world, Xanthe was not sure what to do now. She noticed that GCEA appeared to be a hot springs of sorts, maybe she could go relax there? Xanthe jogged to the hot springs area and poked her head inside. She jumped back in surprise when she heard a shout and a person landed in front of her.

“BOO! Did I scare ya, Xanthe?” Xanthe didn’t need to think long and hard on this one, it was obviously Max! He seemed to have such a happy demeanor about him, was he really an opposite? Before Xanthe could speak, she heard a loud splash. Max’s head spun three hundred and sixty degrees and he snarled, “HEY! Follow the obviously stated, correctly spelled rules! Or do I need to remind you all of the consequences!” Max suddenly grew four more arms, all six of his arms holding knives. This seemed a bit drastic to be an opposite and Xanthe started to step back when suddenly everything was back to normal. Max giggled innocently, “Sorry about that! So what brings you to the hot springs? In need of a hint to continue your journey?”

“A what?”

“A hint! With my third eye I can see into the future! And it’ll allow me to tell you where to go next on your journey!” Max closed his eyes and put his hands against the sides of his head. Muttering to himself, Xanthe was seriously contemplating leaving again when Max’s eyes suddenly flung open. “Go see EmeraldSky! She’s in need of your help rescuing someone from the waterfalls nearby! She’ll be waiting near the Writer’s Desk!” Well she had nothing else better to do.

“Thanks, I’ll do that, Max!” Max waved happily as Xanthe headed downtown towards the Writer’s Desk. Sure enough, just as Max had said, there was EmeraldSky, but something seemed off about her. She looked up as Xanthe approached and waved, friendly as usual. “Hey, Emerald, I heard you needed something?” Emerald nodded and began to speak in sign language. Xanthe, not knowing sign language, stared at Emerald for a moment before interrupting, “Sorry I don’t speak hands, can you write this down?” Emerald shook her head. It seemed her opposite could not speak or write. She paused before snapping her fingers and digging into her pocket. She pulled out an amulet and pushed it against Xanthe.

Xanthe’s dancing instincts took over and she began to do the Cupid Shuffle before transforming into a misdreavus! Emerald clapped excitedly before pulling a map out of thin air and tapping it against Xanthe’s head. Suddenly, Xanthe knew exactly where she needed to go. “All right, Emerald! Don’t worry, I’ve got this!”

Zipping through the skies, Xanthe quickly arrived at a set of waterfalls and was horrified at the sight. Hidden amongst the beautiful sight was a factory! Xanthe phased inside and felt a gasp escape her ghostly body. It was a factory producing MichaelXDs! Who would do such a thing? Xanthe’s Australian senses began to tingle and she floated back outside the factory. Standing over a giant chasm, Xanthe spotted what unmistakably Neo delivering a very dramatic monologue.

“And soon I’ll be rich! These MichaelXDs will cause so much chaos, every forum for miles will hire me to purge them! I’ll be rich, Caite-chan! RICH!” He burst into evil laughter and the earth began to shake as a louder female laughter echoed from the chasm. They both stopped abruptly and Neo turned to see Xanthe not too far away. “YOU! Xanthe, I’d recognize you anywhere. You just heard my master plan didn’t you? Well we can’t have that! Caite-chan, be a dear! DESTROY HER!” The ground began to shake again and out of the ground rose a gigantic figure. It was a giant Jessie from Team Rocket, but it was undoubtedly Caite-chan! Xanthe was so enamored by the sight that she forgot to move and was suddenly squashed by Caite-chan.

Xanthe found herself back where she had started and was greeted with a very loud, heavy sigh.

“YOU’RE THE PROTAGONIST, HOW DID YOU DIE? HM… MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY THE PROTAGONIST. DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE? I CAN LET YOU BUT IT’LL COST YOU A QUARTER OF YOUR SOUL.”

“As tempting as that is… I’ll pass. I wish to return home please.”

“SUIT YOURSELF. OH AND IF YOU HAPPEN TO MEET AN INDIVIDUAL NAMED RAY, DO LET HIM KNOW THAT HE’S NEEDED BACK IN THE GENIE REALM.”

And with that, Xanthe found herself in her bed back in Australia. She had to wonder if it was all a dream, that none of that nonsense had actually happened. Dismissing it as such, Xanthe decided to go make some breakfast, not noticing the genie outfit hanging in her closet, just out of plain sight.

[Suicune's Fire]

Ho. Ly. Crap. Sloane. You have outdone yourself.

First I was like:

https://media3.giphy.com/media/l3nWqD4ViFej9REAw/200.gif

Then I was like:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcbx64nTS61r9a8ozo1_400.gif

And then:

http://welikeit.fr/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/kid-cudi-computer-laugh-o.gif

This was the best story I have ever read. I laughed so hard. Wow, it is all absolutely perfect... XDD NOW TO QUOTE MY FAVOURITE PARTS!!!


Harry clapped excitedly until he received a glare from Sarah.
So funny. I love this because of how not-Sarah it is. XD


Otherwise I might have to do to you what I did to Fate. And I’m not saying it wasn’t fun, but it was a bit of a mess to clean up all the blood from the walls. Wasn’t it, Harry?” Xanthe had never fled a building so fast in her life.
BAHAHAHA WHAT SHE DID TO FATE! AMAZING!


“I hate Tapatalk!” Xanthe looked around and spotted a drunken guy in the corner.
This. Got me. So hard. I had to contain my laughter so I didn't wake up the household. XDDDD OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUNNY BECAUSE TAPATALK. Sam. XDDD


“That’s not how this works, Kaoru! We’re lawfully evil! And I don’t want another ticket! They’re too damn expensive!” As if summoned by Sloane’s words, Eric-saur suddenly appeared out of thin air wearing a policeman uniform. Sloane spotted him and pointed at him. “Don’t you do it, Eric! I see you!” Eric glared at Sloane and wrote on his pad. He ripped off the ticket and held it out towards the boat. “Eric!” Eric moved closer. “ERIC!” Eric quickly slapped the ticket onto the boat then no-clipped into the ground, disappearing into the pavement.
THIS. WHOLE. PARAGRAPH. Ohh my gosh. I could see that all happening in my head as I read it because it was so funny. Noclipping really gets me. XD Oh my gosh. Hilarious. You are hilarious.


It was a factory producing MichaelXDs! Who would do such a thing? Xanthe’s Australian senses began to tingle and she floated back outside the factory. Standing over a giant chasm, Xanthe spotted what unmistakably Neo delivering a very dramatic monologue.

“And soon I’ll be rich! These MichaelXDs will cause so much chaos, every forum for miles will hire me to purge them! I’ll be rich, Caite-chan! RICH!” He burst into evil laughter and the earth began to shake as a louder female laughter echoed from the chasm.
NEO! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!!!!! That took me by surprise. What an awesome plot twist.


THIS WHOLE STORY WAS AMAZING AND UTTERLY HILARIOUS!!!!! Thank you for such an amazing present! Holy wow, I cannot get over how clever it all was. Sarah being evil (and cursing XD), Speed being a complete ditz (LOL TRANSFORMING INTO KLINK. THAT WAS GOOD), Sabi being stuck up AND SACRED FIRE NOT CHANGING. So good. The part about Kas was hilarious too. XD Oh my gosh. And Max being super nice and then SUPER EVIL. Caite-chan being a massive Jessie was also amazing, AND I LOVED THE WHOLE SAM/KAORU/SLOANE/ME THING. Very funny. The entire setup was pure gold. XD You had such funny ideas and executed them so well. I just loved the whole thing. It made no sense and complete sense at the same time.

The idea of writing everyone with inverted personalities was such a good one!!!! And it was so funny! Eric giving you guys a ticket was so good. AND I LOVED THE "Bees?" REFERENCE. Awesome. I love stories like this that incorporate everyone. xD You must have had a ball writing this.

Thank you so much! It's so hilarious. I'll have to try really hard to come up with something even half as good for your birthday. xD You're so funny. I applaud your amazing creativity and brilliant story. *clap clap clap*

THANK YOU, SUPER SECRET DOUBLE AGENT BUDDY!!!!!!!

http://www.bontheball.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/like-a-boss-army-walking-away-explosion.gif

[Neo Emolga]

Wow. Inverted PXR is quite the messed up place! XD

My personal favorite parts where the ones with Max. That is so opposite of Max. XD But it was all really good. And eeeehhhh, I just shiver and cringe at the thought of my opposite mass producing MichaelXDs all for profit. I would so not do that. Down with evil Neo!

And yes, Tapatalk. We could crank out a whole story on that alone! XD

Great job with this, Noble!

[Noblejanobii]

Wow. Inverted PXR is quite the messed up place! XD

My personal favorite parts where the ones with Max. That is so opposite of Max. XD But it was all really good. And eeeehhhh, I just shiver and cringe at the thought of my opposite mass producing MichaelXDs all for profit. I would so not do that. Down with evil Neo!

And yes, Tapatalk. We could crank out a whole story on that alone! XD

Great job with this, Noble!

Why thank you! I had a lot of fun with this over all. It's also loosely based on a video game franchise that I've been watching a playthrough off the past few weeks. I just posted it on DeviantArt too but I might have missed some tags. It wouldn't let me tag Gemma for some reason though. >.<


Ho. Ly. Crap. Sloane. You have outdone yourself.

First I was like:

https://media3.giphy.com/media/l3nWqD4ViFej9REAw/200.gif

Then I was like:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcbx64nTS61r9a8ozo1_400.gif

And then:

http://welikeit.fr/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/kid-cudi-computer-laugh-o.gif

This was the best story I have ever read. I laughed so hard. Wow, it is all absolutely perfect... XDD NOW TO QUOTE MY FAVOURITE PARTS!!!

Awww you flatter me! I had a lot of fun with it I was really worried you might not like it very much but I'm glad you loved it! WACKINESS PREVAILS!



So funny. I love this because of how not-Sarah it is. XD BAHAHAHA WHAT SHE DID TO FATE! AMAZING!

Quite candidly, Opposite Sarah was soooo fun to write. I wanted to make her swear more actually but Neo wouldn't let me. >.> But it was still hilarious. I kept asking myself if it was too much, and then I was like, nahhhhh.



This. Got me. So hard. I had to contain my laughter so I didn't wake up the household. XDDDD OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUNNY BECAUSE TAPATALK. Sam. XDDD

That was actually Neo's idea to have Sam be the town drunkard muttering about Tapatalk. It's a nice touch, I must admit.


THIS. WHOLE. PARAGRAPH. Ohh my gosh. I could see that all happening in my head as I read it because it was so funny. Noclipping really gets me. XD Oh my gosh. Hilarious. You are hilarious.

Well I asked Neo what I would be like as an opposite and he was like "lawfully evil" and I was like okay how can I make this absolutely ridiculous? And then I had this idea but I couldn't decide who I wanted to be the police officer and then I played some prop hunt with Eric and it was like "I know who I'm gonna pick now!!!!"


NEO! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!!!!! That took me by surprise. What an awesome plot twist.

I KNOW! HE AND CAITE-CHAN HAVE BETRAYED US!


THIS WHOLE STORY WAS AMAZING AND UTTERLY HILARIOUS!!!!! Thank you for such an amazing present! Holy wow, I cannot get over how clever it all was. Sarah being evil (and cursing XD), Speed being a complete ditz (LOL TRANSFORMING INTO KLINK. THAT WAS GOOD), Sabi being stuck up AND SACRED FIRE NOT CHANGING. So good. The part about Kas was hilarious too. XD Oh my gosh. And Max being super nice and then SUPER EVIL. Caite-chan being a massive Jessie was also amazing, AND I LOVED THE WHOLE SAM/KAORU/SLOANE/ME THING. Very funny. The entire setup was pure gold. XD You had such funny ideas and executed them so well. I just loved the whole thing. It made no sense and complete sense at the same time.

The idea of writing everyone with inverted personalities was such a good one!!!! And it was so funny! Eric giving you guys a ticket was so good. AND I LOVED THE "Bees?" REFERENCE. Awesome. I love stories like this that incorporate everyone. xD You must have had a ball writing this.

Thank you so much! It's so hilarious. I'll have to try really hard to come up with something even half as good for your birthday. xD You're so funny. I applaud your amazing creativity and brilliant story. *clap clap clap*

THANK YOU, SUPER SECRET DOUBLE AGENT BUDDY!!!!!!!

http://www.bontheball.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/like-a-boss-army-walking-away-explosion.gif

I had such a blast writing this! Thanks to everyone who helped me with it too! You would be mistaken if I didn't make every reference possible just to make you laugh! I'm glad you loved it! NOW LET'S CRUSH THIS PAIRS EVENT!

[AD]

Inverted me is weird fam

[Chibi Altaria]

STILL THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. XD I was going to quote my favourite parts, but then realised I think Xanthe got them all lol.

Your writing is just so awesome! You already know this, though. Xanthe is such a lucky Flareon to have you and your epic talent as her Super Secret Agent partner!

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

HAHA omg that was so funny. Nice one, Noble! You're so good at these! So that's why you wanted my least fave Pokemon! xD

I started reading it before leaving the house this morning and made myself late cos I couldn't stop. xD Evil me is pretty cool. :cool: I love that Neo was mass-producing MichaelXD's, that's hilarious! xD

[Noblejanobii]

HAHA omg that was so funny. Nice one, Noble! You're so good at these! So that's why you wanted my least fave Pokemon! xD

I started reading it before leaving the house this morning and made myself late cos I couldn't stop. xD Evil me is pretty cool. :cool: I love that Neo was mass-producing MichaelXD's, that's hilarious! xD

YES INDEED! Actually the original reason I needed them was because EVERYONE was gonna be able to transform but that got dropped pretty quick. That's why I was laughing about Harry though because he literally was gonna turn into a black hole or something.

[Trainer17]

Dammit Neo XD I don't think it's my inverted self at all :'3 you portrayed the real life me quite well if I might add XD

Drunken me and jumping from huge heights to be a meat shield for Xanthe. DAMN RIGHT ABOUT THAT X3

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170210/30b313724dc8437f60d17bf9a6998716.jpg

Beautiful work, Sloane ♡

Sent from my SM-G901F using Tapatalk

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

YES INDEED! Actually the original reason I needed them was because EVERYONE was gonna be able to transform but that got dropped pretty quick. That's why I was laughing about Harry though because he literally was gonna turn into a black hole or something.

Haha I think inverse Harry would literally be the most scary, evilest person imaginable o_o A black hole works too! xD

[Noblejanobii]

Haha I think inverse Harry would literally be the most scary, evilest person imaginable o_o A black hole works too! xD

It never went anywhere but there was a point in time I thought I would drop the tidbit that Harry was actually a soulless demon that hates all pokemon but serves you because you tricked him into signing a contract of servitude. It's slightly hinted at when he picks up Xanthe because he just like randomly teleports but it was never really mentioned.

[AWA1997]

I like the story, though I must ask, why was I the one taking bets?

[Noblejanobii]

I like the story, though I must ask, why was I the one taking bets?

You don't seem like the type to gamble but that's just a guess. I needed someone taking bets and it was either you or Sam.

[AWA1997]

Ok, fair enough. And, no, not really. Gambling just seems like a waste of time and money, especially when you have no luck whatsoever. And, to give you an idea of my luck, I play a game where melee weapons can kill most characters in four hits or one critical hit and one standard, and you have a higher chance to deal critical damage if you've been dealing a lot of damage in the first place. Guy who hasn't done much damage in the timefram that counts towards crit chance runs up and hits me twice, with both swings being crits. I don't think someone with my luck has any business gambling in any fashion.

[Chakramaster]

It's been a full year now. So I made a quick story to go with Gemma and my pairiversary! Chibi Altaria

A Springtime Celebration

Another peaceful day. The sun is rising a gentle morning glow. Leaves have grown back to a nice bright green that blow in the trees. A nice breeze to a warm day. It's clear that Winter has changed to Spring as even the flowers have started to bloom.

At PXR Headquarters it's another average day. No trouble has surfaced in months. Not even a word from what once was MichaelXD. The PXR Staff have had it pretty easy. General business here and there. Even the Pika Pair have been relaxing. Today, once again. Seems like one of those days. Though, today, is a more special day than usual. One year ago marks the pairing of the two.

The two decided to relax. Away from all the work and just relax. It's been one year since the two unite and became what we know as the Pika Pair. They were even voted as Pair of the Year by the others. A most gracious award that they happily accepted and thanked everyone for.

After leaving to find a place to just get away. A nearby park seemed like the perfect place. In fact, there were a few stands offering ice cream, smoothies, and various other refreshment. The park had been decorated out to fit the new season. Potted plants with bloomed flowers, a rather large pond in the center, even the lamp posts had green, yellow, and pink ribbons tied around them. Celebrating with a Spring-like color. There were places around the pond where mats were set up for group to sit at and relax if they chose.

Eric offered to buy the two ice cream cones. Gemma accepted his offer.

"Two ice cream cones please. Chocolate" Eric said to the Vanilluxe running the stand. The Vanilluxe prepared the two cones right in front of them with a few ingredients placed in the cones. Hovering over them for a moment, it began to blow on them slightly using a smaller version of what the two recognized as Blizzard. It was a short, but cool breeze. The two cones appeared into a colorful almost shiny white with chocolate mixed. How that works out is beyond the understanding of two electric types such as them.

They happily accepted the cones. Eric handing over the Poké to Vanilluxe and smiled. "Thank you!" The two Pikachu said as they carried off their cones. With a small lick to the ice cream. The two shiver a little even through their fur. It was beyond any ice cream they had ever tasted. No wonder it was made in such a special way!

"Eric, how about we sit over there?" Gemma pointed to an open spot where one of the mats laid out near the front of the pond. Eric nodded in agreement as they make it there and sit down. Enjoying sharing their time off and eating a delicious ice cream cone together. Spending time together like this happens once every blue moon. Maybe Lunala can help there somehow?

After finishing off their cones. The two lay on their backs. Staring off into the sky and just get a chance to talk. Reminisce on what's happened. It's been one whole year after all. So many stories. So many things have happened since. Most recently that battle against MichaelXD. Who would've ever thought it would escalate to that point? Then again, who is to say it might not ever happen again? The two shook their heads as they can't think of anything like that right now. It's a day to just forget about everything and relaaaaax. Even if it meant just falling asleep.

After all, the PXR staff are probably all just back at HQ holding off on a at like this...right? Tomorrow would be another day, but a day like this is worth celebrating when you have an amazing Pair to celebrate a year's worth of memories and accomplishments together. Memories worth cherishing as any good friends should do. The gentle breeze blowing over their fur as they just relaaaaax.

[Noblejanobii]

The Strange Case of Dr. Janobii and Mr. Hatter
Starring: Janobii, Madder, and You!

Thunder rumbles in the sky above you as you approach a house at the edge of the forums. You glance down at the envelope in your hand, the wax seal having been broken hours earlier. It had been an invitation to this secluded location, though you have no idea who invited you or why. The dry leaves crunch underneath your feet and you pause as you reach the gate to the household.

It is a Victorian household, you presume, given that it looks like all the stereotypical pictures you see in textbooks. It is old and worn, time having eroded away its chiseled features. The plants in the hard have been left unkempt and there are vines suffocating the large trees that dot the corners of the property. Thunder booms again, sending a chill up your spine. You swallow roughly and push open the iron gate.

You step carefully through the yard, able to somewhat make out a stone pathway through the thick grass. It is only a short walk to the steps up to the front door of the old house. The wooden boards creak loudly as you place your weight on them, and for a second, in your paranoia, you believe you can hear the screams of the damned coming from those boards. You quickly ascend the steps to the front door.

As you approach, you swear you see the curtains on one of the windows shift, but when you look closer, they are completely still. You write off as your imagination and continue towards the door. It towers above you, the white paint cracked revealing the dark wood underneath. There is a golden knocker on the door that tempts you to knock. Looking down at the envelope in your hand, you gather up your courage and reach up to the knocker.

Bang, bang, bang… The sound echoes through the air as you await an answer. After a few silent moments, you hear a shuffling from the other side of the door. Several locks are turned with large clunking sounds. After a moment, the door is pulled open with a loud creaking noise. On the other side is a familiar friendly face on the forum, one of the senior staff, Dr. Janobii.

“I’m so glad you came!” she says, “Please, come inside! I’ve made some snacks and lemonade for us. Then we can discuss why I called you here.”

You follow Dr. Janobii inside and sit down in a chair. She offers you a glass of lemonade and some cookies. You bring the cup to your lips and take a sip of the lemonade. Reflexively, you start to gag. For a moment there, you had forgotten that Dr. Janobii was a scientist, not a cook. Setting down the glass, you are inclined to not eat any of the cookies she had set out for you.

Dr. Janobii returns a moment later, a bright smile on her face. She notices you haven’t touched the cookies and barely drank your lemonade. She laughs a little. “Not feeling too snackish today? That’s fine. More for me!” Dr. Janobii sits down in a chair across the coffee table from you. She picks up a cookie and begins to eat it. “Thank you so much, again, for coming. I know it must have been a bit weird, receiving a letter out of the blue like that. I was hoping by using the imprint on the wax that I did, maybe you would be a bit more trusting.”

You glance down at the envelope again and take a closer look at the seal. Imprinted on the wax was a Gracidea Flower. In retrospect, it was rather obvious who had sent for you based on the seal, but the thought had not occurred to you at the time. You still weren’t even sure why you had come. You snap out of your thoughts when you hear Dr. Janobii pouring herself a glass of lemonade.

“Anywho! Since you’re done snacking I suppose it’s about time I showed you why I asked you here.” Dr. Janobii downed her lemonade before standing up. She signaled for you to follow. You place the envelope into your pocket and follow her. She continues to speak as you walk. “As you may be aware, we’ve had an increasing problem with spambots lately. You-know-who isn’t relenting anytime soon, so we’ve got to come up with new countermeasures. Sarah’s done well with what she’s done, but I’ve decided to take up the fight as well.”

Dr. Janobii leads you into a large library inside the house. You’re trying to focus on what she’s saying but you are momentarily distracted by the impressiveness of the library. You don’t recall seeing a section of the house this tall or wide when you approached outside but perhaps you just hadn’t been observant enough. Dr. Janobii takes you over to a nearby bookshelf and stops.

“Now, I hope you were listening to everything I just said because you’re going to need it.” You wince a little. Oops. Dr. Janobii giggles at your expression. “Just kidding. Just step exactly where I step.” She pulled a blue book until there was a click and a wall passage opened, revealing a long spiraling staircase illuminated by torches. Spooky. Dr. Janobii entered the passageway and descended down the staircase. You quickly but carefully followed her, making sure to step exactly where she stepped.

As you reach the bottom, a checkerboarded pathway leads to a metal door at the end of the hall. Dr. Janobii is waiting on the first white square. She waves to you then continues, black, white, white, black, white, black, black, white. You frown, trying to follow and watch her at the same time. Okay, white, black, white, white, black, white… was there are second white in there? Or was it black?

“Hey!” You look up as Dr. Janobii calls to you. “The black tile on your left!” It comes to you right as she says it. Ah right! Black, black, white. You land right next to Dr. Janobii and she smiles broadly. “Nice job! Sorry, gotta be extra protective of this. Don’t want it falling into the wrong hands.”

Dr. Janobii turned to the metal door and placed her hand against it. The door lit up and then lifted into the ceiling. Dr. Janobii walked inside with you close behind. Inside was a giant laboratory filled to the brim with beakers, chemicals, clipboards, and more. It seemed exactly like something Dr. Janobii would have in the basement of her creepy house.

That is… until you saw the giant tube with the body of a man suspended inside of it.

You continue to stare at the suspended body before Dr. Janobii notices where you attention is directed. She glances at the tube before bursting into laughter. “Oh no no no! Don’t worry about that, it’s just my attempts at making the perfect boyfriend. One day I will achieve the perfect Dylan Thomas.” You aren’t sure what to think about that but decide to let it go for now.

Dr. Janobii resumes shuffling through some drawers and you try to see what she is doing but she’s moving a bit too quickly for you to follow. You don’t have to wait long to find out the results of all the searching though. After a few minutes, Dr. Janobii produces a syringe and a beaker of green liquid. She grins at you.

“This is what I came to show you.” You give Dr. Janobii and unimpressed expression. “Now now! Don’t look at me like that. I promise this is better than the suspended body.” Dr. Janobii puts down the beaker and syringe and summons her banhammer. “So as you know, those of us in the senior staff can use banhammers. But recently we’ve had some very well disguised spambots coming in that appear as normal users. This makes them more difficult to detect and more easily able to advertise on the forums. Well, I’ve decided to take it upon myself to find out a way to detect them. The contents of this beaker are the culmination of my work. You see, the past few nights I’ve been injecting myself with it and while I don’t remember much, the amount of undercover spambots I’ve been able to catch is astounding! I’m going to present it all to the senior staff later, but my curiosity has been peaked. That’s the reason I asked you here.”

Dr. Janobii grins at you, a glimmer in her eyes as she moves the banhammer to her shoulder. “I need you to tell me what happens while I’m unconscious.”

You stumble back a little and quickly shake your head. The doctor’s smile wavers and she tilts her head at you, as if trying to figure out why you wouldn’t want to participate in her little experiment. “Huh? You don’t want to help? I promise, it won’t hurt you. I won’t hurt you. I just want you to observe. You can do that, can’t you?”

You feel backed into a corner here. You think about fleeing before remembering the checkered board outside, the combination path to get out escaping you in your panic. There weren’t any other visible paths of escape, which meant you were out of options. Slowly, you nod your head.

A wide grin splits across Dr. Janobii’s face and she leaps up in excitement. “Oh goodie! I’m so glad you agreed!” You feel a chill run up your spin, already regretting your decision as you watch her prep the syringe. She rolls up her sleeve, disinfects her arm, then winks at you. “Ready? I’ll see you again soon!”

You wince as she injects herself without even flinching, depressing the green liquid into her body. You quickly look away, unable to force yourself to watch after her veins in her arm started to pulsate. After a moment, Dr. Janobii stumbles back, collapsing into a chair with a relaxed sigh. You glance back just in time to see her lazily place the syringe on the table and close her eyes. She stops breathing. That isn’t good.

You approach her and lean closer, trying to see if maybe you were mistaken and she hadn’t actually stopped breathing. You hold your hand over her mouth, but feel no breath. You start to panic when suddenly her eyes open, but they are not the eyes you recognize as hers.

The brown eyes watch your every movement as you stand there, frozen. A killer’s smile spreads across Dr. Janobii’s face, and a deep chuckle emits from her throat. “Well well, it seems the shaymin brought someone to observe this time. Did she try to cook you anything? Perhaps that is why you are so pale. Hm… would you mind stepping away for a moment? I need to reach the computer. The shaymin never changes her avatar before awakening me. I would rather not remain with this appearance if you do not mind.”

You quickly scramble out of the way. The stranger in Dr. Janobii’s body stands up and walks over to the computer at the desk a little way away. They grumble to themselves as they type something into the computer. After a moment, their appearance begins to pixelate and it is no longer Dr. Janobii that stands before you. The man turns to you and tips his top hat to you.

“Allow me to introduce myself, since it seems we will be spending the rest of the night together. I am Madder Hatter.”


https://i.imgur.com/gDuXAN7.jpg

“Though, that will have to be Mr. Hatter to you, since we have only just met.”

You stare at the new avatar before you and a shiver runs down your spine. He taps his fingers on the desk nearby impatiently, waiting for you to reply, but you have been shocked into silence. This does not seem to amuse Mr. Hatter.

“You’re not much of a talker, are you?” he asks. When you give no reply, he shakes his head and starts to walk past you. “No matter, it’ll be easier to sneak up on the spambots that way. Now come, I have work to do and a limited amount of time to do it, so we mustn't dally.” Mr. Hatter walks over to the other side of the lab and rolls up a poster, revealing a door behind it. Go figure there was an alternate exit. Finally regaining some control over yourself, you trudge after Mr. Hatter towards the exit.

The door leads into a long tunnel that is made entirely of stone. It leads you to a staircase which takes you up to a cellar door. Mr. Hatter pushes it open with little effort, revealing the backyard of the house. He helps you out and closes the cellar doors behind him. Instead of walking out the front, Mr. Hatter walks deeper into the backyard, where a small gate is located. He unlatches it, lets you through, then closes it and summons his banhammer. You instinctively flinch, earning an unamused look from him.

“Please, as if I could ban you anyway,” Mr. Hatter grumbles, “I’m just preemptively summoning it in case there are any runts near the lab. I’ve been caught off guard here before and I’d rather not risk getting infected with whatever they have.” You raise your eyebrows in concern, not quite sure what he meant by that. Spambots were just robots sent to muck up the forums, weren’t they?

Mr. Hatter starts to lead you on patrol through the forums. You start at the top with Community Announcements and begin to make your way towards the Event Archives. For the most part it is rather quiet at first. It is not until you get to General Discussion that signs of a spambot begin to appear. “Finally!” Mr. Hatter says, picking up the pace a little as he follows the trail. He speeds off and you scramble to keep up as you both dive into the alleyway.

You see Mr. Hatter cornering a spambot and just as you thought, it looks to be more than a small, rather harmless robot. Mr. Hatter spins his hammer and glances at you. “See what I mean? The infection they carry is hideous isn’t it? Stay back, if you get to close it could infect you. I have a built in immunity so I’ll be fine.” You start to shake your head when he suddenly lunges at you. The banhammer whishes right past your ear and slams into a spambot that had been creeping up behind you. In an instant the creature is gone.

The first spambot tries to use that distraction to escape, scrambling to climb up a nearby wall. Mr. Hatter spins around and rushes it, his hat flying off in the process. You snatch it out of the air and right away the world becomes inverted. All the colors are the opposite of what they should be and all the signs are in some undecipherable language. You catch a glimpse of the spambot right before Mr. Hatter bans it and notice it looks a lot less robotic and more like a festering parasite feeding on the corpse of an old abandoned user account.

Mr. Hatter begins to rub his head and squints at you. He stops over and holds out his hand. “Hat,” he commands. You quickly hand it over and he places it on his head. “Thank you. Now I get it, you don’t see the parasites do you?” You shake your head. “Yes, that explains why the staff here is so relaxed on banning them. They don’t know the truth.”

Mr. Hatter straightens his hat then leans closer to whisper into your ear. “Those aren’t robots, they’re failed experiments at reanimated corpses. Coming in contact with one results in you slowly becoming one. He sent them, and unless the shaymin finds a curse, PXR could fall just like the others.”

You weren’t sure how to process this, your head still reeling from the inverted world you had caught a glimpse of. Though, Mr. Hatter wasn’t giving you much of a chance to process this, as he was already on the trail of another bot.

Reanimated corpses? He sent them? What for? Why could Mr. Hatter see them? Why couldn’t anyone else? So many questions and so little time!

You turn down an alley just in time to see Mr. Hatter take down another bot. He leaves the ban message then starts to move on when you reach out and stop him.

“What?” he snarls. He notices your expression and pauses. “You have questions. Look, I can’t explain now, I detect two more active spambots and I need to deal with them first. I can answer you after that. Deal?”

You begrudgingly nod and follow after Mr. Hatter as he pursues the other spambots. Before long two hours have past and you’re starting to get a bit tired. Keeping up with someone who is effectively a superhuman is much more difficult than it looks in the movies. Finally, you catch up to Mr. Hatter as he deals with the last spambot. He leans up against a nearby wall and watches you as you approach.

“Ready?” he asks quietly. You nod. He taps the wall with his foot, causing the wall to slide open beside him. He gestures for you to follow him inside. You glance around as you enter.

There is a neon sign just inside the door that reads “Prism Pub”. You quickly realize you’ve entered the exclusive Pokémon Prism club. Dr. Janobii was well known as a member, so it makes sense Mr. Hatter would be able to enter too. He leads you to a table and signals for a waiter. “A Sipsmith,” he says to the waiter. Mr. Hatter glances at you and then adds, “and a water for my guest.” The waiter scurries off to fetch the drinks. Mr. Hatter watches you silently until your waiter returns with the drinks. He takes a drink from his, then asks again, “Are you ready?” You nod again in response.

“Alright, here’s the deal.” Mr. Hatter pulls a deck of cards out of his sleeve and spreads them across the table. He picks up three and turns them over, revealing three images. The first is a picture of the original staff team for PXR, long before Dr. Janobii was ever a member. The second is of a young boy, innocent and child-like with a goofy grin, and the final is of an oily figure in the shape of something that resembles a man.

“Once upon a time, a group of people from a site known as PE2K sought refuge here. They thought they were safe until a malevolent face showed up on the forum.” Mr. Hatter glanced around before whispering, “MichaelXD.” You can practically hear the record scratch on the turntable when everyone in the bar glances towards your table. “At first he appears like this really kind kid and all, but it turns out he’s not and begins to attack the forum. But you know this story already. That’s not what I’m here to tell you.”

Mr. Hatter folds the cards together, shuffles them, then sets them as a deck in front of you. He gestures for you to take one. You pick it up and hand it back to him. Mr. Hatter waves his hand over it and an image appears in the air above it. “You want to know how spambots are really created? Here’s how.” A scene begins to play showing a graveyard containing all the inactive accounts on PXR. You knew there had been a few cases of the dead returning to life but the scene before you was definitely strange.

You watch as a figure walks through the darkness of the graveyard and stops by a grave. They begin to dig and unearth the body of a dead user. After digging up several more, the figure starts to carry them off. The image fades and is replaced with several of the bodies now on tables, obviously being experimented on. The background and figure are still obscured, but you watch as the corpses are reanimated and at first everything appears fine. However, a quick timelapse shows them deteriorating and devolving into spambots. Then, they escape into PXR.

At first, you believe it to be an accident, until you see the figure observing their escape. It had been on purpose! You squint at the image of the figure, attempting to figure out who they are. After a moment, you realize you recognize that avatar.

“Dr. Janobii,” you whisper by accident. You glance up at Mr. Hatter very quickly and are disturbed to see a wild grin on his face.

He winks at you and says, “Nothing personal, love, just business.” Pain explodes against your skull as you suddenly meet the floor. You see the bottom of a cane land in front of your face before taking another hit and slipping into darkness.

When you come to, you blink a few times and try to become aware of your surroundings. You realize you’re inside a suspension tube, and you are not alone. Outside of your tube you can see several others floating, unconscious.

“Ah! Our latest guest is awake!” You look down to see Dr. Janobii, only she’s glitching out, her avatar appearing to be Mr. Hatter in certain places for split seconds. “Sorry, not really, but you know how it goes. I have orders. Mr. Hatter wasn’t lying. Someone on this forum is infected. An[/i]d[/i] it’s me!” She begins to cackle before pushing a button on a remote she’s holding.

The tank begins to fill with liquid and you start to panic. You can feel the voices inside your head growing more amplified with each passing second but you can do nothing to fight the flooding as you are soon submerged in the liquid. You fall unconscious again and when you awaken, you are in the center of PXR.

You look around and spot a nearby user. However, instead of greeting them per usual, a gut instinct kicks in and you lunge towards them, biting their shoulder. Their body contorts and they slowly change in shape, becoming more like you.

Nike coach spread contaminate. These are your only priorities now. Hopefully he will be proud.

[Suicune's Fire]

Fate I think your story can go here. XD

[Fate]

Fate I think your story can go here. XD

Woah, I didn't know this was a thing. I'll post it later when I'm not lazy. xD