Are All Romances Cliché?

[Noblejanobii]

I was writing a story earlier tonight and while trying to avoid some cliches, I was trying to figure out a romance dynamic between two characters. I was starting to hammer it out as guy likes girl but girl is oblivious AF so she doesn't know it but a lot of their friends and most of the girl's siblings realize guy likes girl. It's even to the point where girl's sister teases them about it mostly to freak out guy but girl just thinks it's her sister being her sister. And as I was reading it to myself I went "this is too cliche". So I started to try and rework it but no matter how I reframed it, it still felt cliche to me. And that got me thinking, is just all romance considered cliche now? A lot of my friends think that most romance in movies is cliche unless the girl rejects the guy to be a strong independent woman. So what are your thoughts?

[Scytherwolf]

I'm not into romance, so I'm not really sure what is or isn't considered cliche with that, but honestly, with my own writing, I've just stopped caring whether or not something is cliche. I write what I want to write about and that's that.

[Suicune's Fire]

I think that the concept of cliches is a little narrow-minded. Yeah, things are overdone, but there's things being done well and things being done poorly--regardless of whether they've been done before or not. You can take a commonly used idea and portray it amazingly, and everyone will love it. Or, you can take it and play it terribly and everyone will dislike it.

I am familiar with that type of romance story but I don't think it's a bad idea to include it. As long as it reads well and you do a good job, it shouldn't matter whether or not it's cliche. As long as things aren't predictable. I think worrying about predictability is far more important than worrying about cliches.

[[Desolate Divine]]

I feel like it is possible to do romance as part of a story without it being cliche. And if you nail it, then kudos to you. Granted, when the story is centered around romance, it becomes a little more difficult. I guess cliche is okay, but if you can nail it without it, that is pretty sweet.

[Neo Emolga]

I usually don't read or write romance, but sometimes it finds it's way in there. I've read fantasy stories that had a bit of romance and even for stories I've written, it seems fitting to add it and work with it. Even Trial of Juno had a romance between Juno and Sita.

I would say make the relationship unique and under special circumstances. Don't make the relationship all about love at first. Otherwise it feels artificial and shoehorned in and that just feels cheesy. For Juno and Sita, they both had a mission to carry out and they started off helping each other. Juno was a warrior commander and Sita was an oracle and seer that helped guide him along the way. It wasn't about love at first, though Juno did admire was she was able to do for him and Sita admired him for how far he was willing to go for it to see that justice would be done. She gets killed later on and Juno realizes how much he lost as a result of her death. When they start working again in the afterlife, the love bond gets stronger. I'll admit, it was actually refreshing and nice to work with. They literally go through hell for each other. That's the kind of romance I would enjoy writing about again.

I think the cliche you would need to avoid is a cheesy "love at first sight" kind of thing. Make the love relationship have a role in your story. Not just "oh, I think it would be cute if these two characters had a romance." Make the why and the how have a lot of substance and give it a reason and purpose in the story. Let love emotions be a driving and working part in the plot engine that you have going on rather than just a loose strand that really doesn't relate to anything else that's going on.

[Noblejanobii]

Yeah it's more of one of those things where the guy is just patiently admiring the girl from a distance because he doesn't want to force her to make a decision. It's not really a major theme for the story as a whole but rather just a detail for their character interactions. I can't go into huge detail without going on a long winded explanation but to make it short the girl has a variety of reasons as to why: a) she hasn't notice the guy likes her and b) the guy hasn't approached her about his feelings. The stories they are in more or less focuses on something else (like this one is about them being abducted by a theater ghost and being forced to perform a play) but I don't want their interactions to be too predictable because of their relationship.

[Arrow-Jolteon]

Well, I personally don't write romances at all, but from the things I've seen from other works, the issue with romances is that the reason they seem cliche is because just about every possible avenue you could take with a romance story has been done to death. However, I don't think overuse is necessarily the problem; to me, the real problem is that there's surprisingly very few people out there who can write romance well, so that makes it look like romance is a bad genre when the reality is that most people just don't know what love is :P

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

I think the reason romance is cliche is cos love is a human instinct/chemical reaction. So you know, it tends to happen the same way for everyone in real life. There are only so many ways it can happen. It generally starts of unrequited and goes from there. I read almost exclusively YA fiction so there are a lot of romances and it's usually love triangles or someone pining after the other person who finally realises. What makes it interesting and different I guess is the characters and how they react to it. It's the same in real life. Though the situations may be very similar for most real life romances, every person acts differently under those circumstances. I think it's very hard to write a non-cliche romance because of all that, but if your characters are interesting enough it doesn't really matter. People like reading about that stuff anyway! xD

[Morzone]

I watch a lot of romance anime, so while my real life romance life isn't particularly great... I'm experienced with seeing it told in a story. And to be honest, there aren't many ways to tell a romance story that haven't already been told. Even so, I don't really get bored of it. Once you get used to seeing the various tropes you start having just as much fun seeing how they're weaved into the story. From my experience, the best romance stories don't actually center primarily on the romance.

Essentially, it boils down to who you're targeting the romance towards. One audience might prefer a funny, non-serious love story with an oblivious girl (or guy) having someone fall for them. Another might prefer one full of drama, where people fight their friends for a person's love, or perhaps the common "Do I like the good boy or the bad boy" decision. Maybe you want a more mature story based in realism.

My personal favorite is when Romance is done in the form of a quest. The stated purpose drives the plot, so the romance isn't necessarily the main focus. This way the romance can contain elements of both realism and unrealism. the quest ends, whether the stated purpose is completed or not, with a "moral development" and if that development is love between two people, well it's very satisfying.

Ignoring my personal input there... I guess I'm just saying that yes, at base romance is going to seem cliche, but what makes a good romance story is the way it's woven into the plot. People still like cliche romance, Heck if you're writing toward teenagers they'll absorb anything romance, no matter how cliche. But if your looking for something a bit more than a game of "win the guy's(or girl's) heart" then you just connect it with other themes all in one fascinating story.

[Death's Spook]

The trick is to get past the infatuation stage.

Now, that's waaaaay easier said than done. Infatuation is the "romantic" part of a romantic relationship. It's the part most stories are written about: it's literally an addiction to the other person's presence. So why do I say get past it?

Because for a romantic relationship to REALLY work, there has to be some idea of balance. One partner tends to daydream, the other tends to pull them back to reality, and in turn, the first partner encourages the second to dream. One partner has really powerful emotions while the second is more logical, but that first partner also gives the second encouragement to experience emotions more deeply. One is an optimist who hopes, the other a pessimist preparing for the worst. Etc. Balance lets both partners grow together into a stronger whole, and that is what lets a relationship persist, and also keeps it interesting.

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

The trick is to get past the infatuation stage.

Now, that's waaaaay easier said than done. Infatuation is the "romantic" part of a romantic relationship. It's the part most stories are written about: it's literally an addiction to the other person's presence. So why do I say get past it?

Because for a romantic relationship to REALLY work, there has to be some idea of balance. One partner tends to daydream, the other tends to pull them back to reality, and in turn, the first partner encourages the second to dream. One partner has really powerful emotions while the second is more logical, but that first partner also gives the second encouragement to experience emotions more deeply. One is an optimist who hopes, the other a pessimist preparing for the worst. Etc. Balance lets both partners grow together into a stronger whole, and that is what lets a relationship persist, and also keeps it interesting.

That's actually a great point. xD Most books/movies focus on the "getting together" part and once that happens it's like "happily ever after". But really that's the EASIEST part of real relationships. xD

[Morzone]

That's true. You don't see many Romance stories focus on struggles AFTER getting together. The few I've seen sort of came on me by surprise and all of them were quite good an mature. Though if you're not looking for a mature audience, well...

[Arrow-Jolteon]

Yeah, that's another big problem with stories about romance: once the wedding bells ring the whole thing is treated as a grand finale instead of the beginning of a new adventure (which is what it actually is in real life).

[Noblejanobii]

Yeah it's more of one of those things where the guy is just patiently admiring the girl from a distance because he doesn't want to force her to make a decision. It's not really a major theme for the story as a whole but rather just a detail for their character interactions. I can't go into huge detail without going on a long winded explanation but to make it short the girl has a variety of reasons as to why: a) she hasn't noticed the guy likes her and b) the guy hasn't approached her about his feelings. The stories they are in more or less focuses on something else (like this one is about them being abducted by a theater ghost and being forced to perform a play) but I don't want their interactions to be too predictable because of their relationship.

What about this? Does it sound cliche?

[Morzone]

What about this? Does it sound cliche?

I think it depends how you portray it in the actual story. You could easily turn it into a more cliche scene of one person liking an oblivious person, but at the same time you could turn it into a much more realistic and mature story, which while it isn't really new it's certainly a lot less cliche than the first due to its realistic and mature qualities.

[Noblejanobii]

I think it depends how you portray it in the actual story. You could easily turn it into a more cliche scene of one person liking an oblivious person, but at the same time you could turn it into a much more realistic and mature story, which while it isn't really new it's certainly a lot less cliche than the first due to its realistic and mature qualities.

Yeah I can see it. It's certainly not the first case because the girl is not that dumb. She's just got a lot on her mind that she doesn't really stop to consider things like romance for herself. You know those people that put work and family and friends before their own wellbeing. That's her.