A poem I wrote (No title yet)

[Bulbasaur]

I wrote this poem tonight.

*insert cool poem title*
I had a dream this morning
A dream that was short, but not boring
I had put buds in to my ear
That sent a dream I could hear

I had been transformed into a child
Who knew that life was mild
He had been told
That life was gold
There was nothing to fear
It was clear

As life moved forward
I heard the discord
The child was no longer young
The child had been stung
By the truth that was revealed
It was no longer concealed

It was not a walk in the park
It was scary and dark
The man, with fright
Hid from sight
He avoided the life he was to attend
Waiting for the end

When life had almost become unbearable
Along came the miracle
She was just as unprepared
His pain she shared
But with each other
They would become tougher

As the last chord began to fade
I removed the buds that had made
The sound that told me
Love is the key

[Suicune's Fire]

BULBASAUR THIS IS THE CUTEST PIECE OF PROSE EVER. I really liked the way you wrote it, and the message at the end. xD I love the idea of someone being lost and confused, needing that one thing to keep them going.

Great structure; I'm not too knowledgeable about poetry so I can't really give proper critique, but I would question the rhyming compatibility of "other" and "tougher." It sort of rhymes, but something stands out about it that makes me think it doesn't rhyme properly. xD

Anyways, I'm a little horrified at myself for taking this long to read one poem, but there's my input. :] I'd like to see more!


~SF.