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Pokemon Trainer Sarah
01-25-2015, 10:35 AM
This is just a little story I thought up while playing Pokemon today. All comments and advice are welcome!


wonder trade

Prologue

If I could describe the feeling, I would say it was like falling. Falling and spinning… while hundreds of horrible colours rush past, even if you keep your eyelids firmly shut. They were shut now, but it was impossible to escape the dizzying lights. I felt lightheaded and weak, but I had done this before and knew it would be over soon. Just breathe, just breathe. Overall, a very unpleasant experience. I wondered what kind of human had designed this thing. It was clear they’d never had to experience it themselves, that’s for sure! I’m practically an expert now and I would sure have a few things to say to the idiot who thought this machine was a good idea. Finally, the spinning slows down. I feel exhausted. I cling awkwardly to the floor of my Pokeball, which feels like it’s still moving. I made it through. I wonder what the girl who sent me got in return. I hope it was a Zigzagoon. I hope it bites her ankles and steals her potions. Maybe gives her rabies or something, too.

Are you wondering where I am? Me too. Fine, fine, I’ll start from the beginning… or at least a little earlier. After all that seems to be the point of my existance these days… the entertainment of humans. Bah.

So there I was, minding my own business when a human appeared from the bushes. Don't ask me to describe him. He was human-looking; two eyes, couple of legs, pretty sure he had some arms. Overall I wasn't paying him much attention because as soon as he saw me he had thrown a round orb, something I knew to be a Pokeball, at the ground and out came a large, blue, quadrupedal Pokemon with a strange horn on its head. The human made some strange noises, which plainly sounded like gobbledegook to me, but the Samurott seemed to understand and it started to spray water from its mouth in my direction. Now, we Pokemon grow up hearing all the tales about humans, good and bad. But travelling and battling always seemed like it would be pretty fun, to me. So all in all, I wasn’t too worried. There had been many close calls before, but no trainer had proven themselves worthy. I had decided long ago that if one happened to defeat me, I would willingly go with them to partake in adventures or whatever those kids calling themselves trainers got up to these days. Anyway, this Samurott was firing Water Pulses left and right and while I can count strength, intelligence, a brooding sort of handsomeness and sparkling wit amongst my characteristics, sadly speed is not on the list. I was having a hard time escaping the sting of the water. Regardless, I did my best to throw up a few Rock Slides. I merely hoped to cause a distraction, during which I could slip quietly away. This trainer seemed experienced, though. I grudgingly admit that he had good control over his Pokemon, and his Samurott wasn’t too shabby either. So after a battle that was shorter than I would have liked, I found myself somewhere dark. I could have tried harder to escape, but what can I say, I was curious. I had spent my whole life waiting for this moment with a mix of dread and anticipation. So I sat in the dark and yawned and waited for something to happen.

I heard a final sounding “PING” and everything went quiet. So now I belonged to someone. I poked around my new home, it was dark and comfortable inside the Pokeball. Quiet, too; the outside world was muffled as if the ball was made of cotton instead of plastic. I could hear human language outside but it was difficult to make out and really, I was starting to feel a bit tired. In fact, I felt a strange urge to curl up and nap, but instead I contemplated my new life. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that there was a moment of panic when I thought maybe I had made a mistake… but no, I was older than most Pokemon who get themselves captured. Trainers usually went after the little ones. Whether this was because they wanted to bond with them from a young age or because they were too incompetent to catch anything much smarter, I’m not sure. If I wanted adventures, this might be my last chance. The Samurott had been kind enough once it had defeated me, thanking me for the battle before everything went black. And the human… he didn’t seem a bad sort. At least I knew he was strong. So no, this wouldn’t be so bad. I was a good fighter. I could fit in here. Before I could think about much more, the desire to sleep overwhelmed me. I curled up and let my eyelids sink and dreamed of the new life I was about to start.

But that never happened, did it?

Noblejanobii
01-25-2015, 04:59 PM
Very interesting story so far. I wonder what pokemon the main character is.

Suicune's Fire
03-11-2015, 10:53 AM
After all that seems to be the point of my existance these days… the entertainment of humans. Bah.

*existence


something I knew to be a Pokeball,

That should be two separate words: poké ball.


I kept meaning to get around to reading this, and fiiiiiiiinally I did. xD I like the idea. It's a really cool premise for a little story. I reckon you could have made it a little longer though, such as maybe gone into a bit more detail about where they ended up and what they'd been through (maybe why they were wonder traded in the first place), etc. My first though was that it was a magcargo, based on the slow speed, rock slide attack and being "older than most." I think it could have been a sudowoodo (omg I just realised that it's meant to be "pseudo wood...o." Wow) too, because of the bushes aspect, where as a magcargo would live in a more volcanic area typically. I don't know if you had an actual pokemon in mind though.


Nice little piece. :] I like the idea.

SassySnivy
03-13-2015, 02:06 AM
I remember actually reading this a couple months ago! You chose a pretty neat prompt, here.

I think what would be neat would be to make oneshots that address the other regular elements of Pokemon games that would likely be seen as controversial in the real world. I.e., mass-breeding and the like.

Although I must say--and maybe it's because I'm on my phone--you've got quite the wall of text, there. It really wouldn't be a bad idea to separate the paragraphs just a little more frequently.

Typically, one paragraph contains one thought, theme, etc. Also seeing that you're more free to choose your layout, here, it would also be a good idea to double space per every paragraph.

Pokemon Trainer Sarah
03-13-2015, 03:41 AM
Thanks for the suggestions. :)

I plan to go into what happened a bit more in chapter 1. I just wanted a short, interesting prologue that caught people's attention without giving too much away. I do kind of have an idea in mind for the Pokemon but I'm still not sure if I want to change it. xD

I always spell existence wrong. D: I prefer spelling Pokeball as one word even though it's not right. xD

That is a cool idea, Speed! There are a lot of weird things happening in the Pokemon world that would be interesting to write about!

Suicune's Fire
03-13-2015, 04:08 AM
No worries. :D Okay, that sounds great. I'd like to hear more about it. Are you gonna reveal the pokemon you've been thinking of? c:

Yeah, it's like all the "ence/ance" words, sort of like independence... I used to spell it with an a. XD BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO BUT IT'S TWO WORDSSSSS. :< It looks so untidy as one...

I look forward to an update! :D

Pokemon Trainer Sarah
03-13-2015, 04:12 AM
POKé BALL JUST READS LIKE "POKE" BALL AND I CAN'T HANDLE IT. D: It's POKEMON, POKEDEX, WHY NOT POKEBALL?! xD

I will probably reveal the Pokemon in the next chapter which I am writing now instead of working

Suicune's Fire
03-13-2015, 04:21 AM
But that's why you say "poké ball" and not "poke ball!" Sensible people know this. :D LIKE YOURSELF! Because ENGLISH, SARAH! ENGLISH!!!!!!!

Yay good. c: Yes, I'm on the forum instead of doing school work. xD

Pokemon Trainer Sarah
03-13-2015, 04:32 AM
Chapter One

I was woken by a jolt and an electronic voice that seemed to come from far away. It took me a few seconds to remember why it was so dark. I was inside a Pokeball, that’s right. But what was happening now? Before I could even get to my feet, the ball rocked again. I tumbled sideways and immediately felt as if I was falling. I half expected my stomach to drop through the floor.

After a dizzying display of blinding colours and my Pokeball twisting all over the place, I thought I was going to be sick. It was all I could do then to retreat inside myself and try not to panic. It could have been minutes or hours later, but eventually the horrible sensation stopped. My legs were so wobbly, I couldn’t stand. I heard voices again, this time high pitched and very human. Suddenly the darkness was replaced with blinding light. I blinked awkwardly as my eyes adjusted.

I seemed to be inside a Pokemon Center. I had heard tales of them from other Pokemon. They were hospitals of sorts, where Pokemon and trainers could rest. I looked around for my trainer. The tall, male human with the Samurott, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Ugh… it’s not cute at all!” A tiny voice cried shrilly from the floor behind me. I spun around, wondering if the floorboards had started to talk. Instead I saw a minute human child, a female. She was pouting as she surveyed me with her beady little human eyes. She hardly reached my knee.

“Why do I keep getting ugly Pokemon! How about a Jigglypuff or something?!” she moaned indignantly. She was already turning away, back to a buzzing machine in the corner. Trainers were placing Pokeballs there, which promptly disappeared before being replaced by another ball, sometimes of the same type, sometimes different.

Rude little blighter, I thought, as the girl held up my Pokeball and unceremoniously returned me to it without even introducing herself. I wondered where my trainer was. But wait… if this girl had my Pokeball… then she must be my trainer?!

With horror, I realised what that machine in the corner really was. It was a way for trainers to swap Pokemon. I had heard of trading before, of course, but nothing so random, so brutal. Sending your Pokemon away to trainers you didn’t even know - who could be sociopaths! – seemed to me to be highly irresponsible. Humans, what will they think of next?! Before you know it, they’ll be swapping their own children! And not a bad idea, I thought, if they had a snooty little kid like the one I’d just met.

Anyway, I wasn’t too worried for myself, knowing I could easily squash a pesky human, but I thought of all the poor, tinier Pokemon out there who were being used as trade bait, shipped off without a concern. Just when I thought I could maybe trust people, they come out with something like this! Unbelievable! If I ever saw the trainer with the Samurott again, I vowed to feed him to a pack of Scyther. Or hungry Chansey. Have you seen those things eat? Well count yourself lucky. It’s repulsive. Every Pokemon knows that Chansey are ruthless killing machines. I can't believe humans employ them in Pokemon Centers. The fools!

Before I could think any more about it, the dizzy sensation started again, followed by the blinding lights. This wasn’t as bad as the first time, because at least I knew it would actually end at some point. Sure enough, just when I thought my lunch was about to part with my stomach, the spinning stopped. I was nervous about what I would find this time.

Once my eyes had adjusted to the change in light, a young female stood before me. She was taller than the previous human and I immediately liked her a whole lot better. Maybe because she was smiling instead of pouting at me.

“Wow, a Rhydon! It looks strong!” she exclaimed. A young Farfetch’d was perched on her shoulder, preening itself. I rumbled a hello, but it ignored me. Charming.

“Hi there, Rhydon. Why would anyone trade you, huh? You can’t find any Rhydon here in Hoenn. Must be my lucky day!” the human smiled warmly.

I started to think that maybe I could deal with this human. At least she was friendly and appreciated my finer attributes. The bird would have to go, though.

“Let’s just get you checked out!” she said, with much too much enthusiasm, “Wait here!”

She wandered off towards the back of the Pokemon Center – a different one to the one I had been in previously, I noticed. As she weaved between other humans and Pokemon, I wondered why I needed a medical. I felt pretty fine. But I guess the trip through that creepy machine was enough to fatigue even the strongest Pokemon. Yes, a health check was probably required after all that.

Instead of returning with the nurse behind the counter (or even the horrible, beady-eyed Chansey watching us hungrily), my new trainer was leading a green-haired human over. His hair was ridiculous, by the way. It looked like a shrub had begun to grow on his head. Anyway, this punk kid with the green hair took one look at me and frowned. I saw my trainer’s smile begin to disappear and a nervous flutter began in my stomach.

“I’m sorry, but its IVs are terrible. Frankly, I can see why it was Wonder Traded. A 0 in Speed… ouch. It will never outrun anything. And that Defense stat…” the green-haired human began.

I punched him before he could finish the sentence. Just kidding. But I was starting to get a bit ticked off. What the heck are “ivs” and who is this guy to judge me? I sure had better Defense than him. Maybe we should try it out? But no, while I fumed silently, the shrub man walked off and my new trainer looked at me sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re quite right for my team,” she said. “I’m sure you’ll find a better home out there with someone who really values you. I only train Pokemon with Perfect IVs, or at least Outstanding ones.” At this, she patted the Farfetch’d on the head. The stupid little duck grinned meanly at me.

I still had no idea what an “ivs” was. Did I smell? Were my horns too sharp? Was she calling me fat?! Either way, I got the gist. She didn’t want me and I would very soon be taking another trip through that hellish machine. I very much wanted to slam her and her overgrown bird into a wall, but I resisted. I simply sat on the ground, doing my best to retain my dignity after being publicly humiliated in front of every human and Pokemon in the place, in a way that I didn't even understand. I refused to look at the girl, despite her babble about how I would find the perfect home and someone to love me.

Bah! That was it. I was done with humans. Now that I had this bad “ivs” hanging around, it was obvious no human would want me. Was that why I was traded in the first place? Was that why no human had ever captured me before? Was my bad “ivs” so obvious? I felt so terrible I didn’t even really notice as the girl returned me to my prison and sent me back through the machine. I knew I was doomed to spend the rest of my life being insulted by humans and tortured by spinning lights. I was feeling so bad that if I could have ended it all then, I just might have.

But I didn't. And so I find myself here in a dark Pokeball, waiting anxiously for the next human to call on me, insult me and throw me back. Joy.



-------------------

The chapters are gonna be short because I'm terrible at writing long stories and I get bored easily so I hate putting in fillers haha. After backtracking a bit, we now find ourselves at the point at the beginning of the prologue. Who will this new trainer be? Will our brooding hero ever find someone to love him? Stay tuned!

Ganyu
03-13-2015, 04:54 AM
Wow wow wow why have I not seen this yet? The premise is really interesting and you really brought out the Rhydon's feelings. I feel so bad for the pokemon I've traded away before :/ But at least I'm not one of those people who fuss over IVs (competitive breeders are just urkkk). I had to giggle at the part where the Chansey species was described. I seriously cannot picture them as nothing but demure, haha!

Also, I think pokeball/poke ball are both correct terms. Because "pokeball" refers to the balls as a collective totality ie Ultra Balls are pokeballs. Whereas "poke ball" is referring to the type of ball that we all get for free at the start and is the cheapest in any Mart. X3 That's how I use them; I've spelled them as one and two words, depending on the context.

SassySnivy
03-13-2015, 05:13 AM
I like this so far.

I do think it would have been best, though, to keep it as one part. Also you very well could have dropped some clue a here and there to make it discernable what Pokemon it is if the reader reads closely enough, but simultaneously not too obvious. In the initial prologue chapter, I mean! x]

I would also say not to drag it on too much of you suddenly start to feel like you're trying to force chapter ideas out. But if you still have some ideas with where you want to take this story...then full steam ahead!

Hey, now. Don't rail on us competitive breeders. There's a lot of complexity in the system, and it's a fantastic way to give away some Pokemon with wonderful IVs to random people across the world. Also, for pedantic people like me...it's fun.

Also, a lot of us don't feel like using the accented "e," because the majority of the time you seriously have to go out of your way to do so unless you're using a smartphone. Which is inconvenient. I think that when you wish to use the accent mark, "Poké Ball" IS correct. However, when you don't use the accent mark..."Poke Ball" just looks naked and weird and therefore "Pokeball" is just as acceptable. ;>

PerseusRad
03-14-2015, 02:48 PM
I'm surprised I'm enjoying this. Not because I doubted your skills as a writer, but because I'm not one to particularly enjoy stories with Pokemon as protagonists. I'll probably keep up with this.