Are we becoming more lonely in today's world?

[Ganyu]

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." - John Donne

In our modern society, technology and social media have been integral in our daily lives. The world seems closer, and more accessible - all through a screen. However, are we humans really brought closer, or are we instead growing more lonely instead? What do you think is the cause of such loneliness, if it's increasing or not? Has social media affected us as social creature in one way or another?

[Caite-chan]

In a way I think we have because there's not a need to go out anymore. What's the point of going out when you have texting and things like Skype? With Skype you see the person and to most people that's good enough.

[Rival Max]

We live in a time where never has the human race been so connected. For the first time since the aliens helped build the pyramids.. (jokes of course) Human now have access to a shared knowledge. The more we become connected the less traditional relationships we form. Can we define online friends and relationships as true connections? Or in some ways will they always be slightly more impersonal than interpersonal.

[Corey]

I would argue the opposite. Technology allows us to interact with exponentially more people than we would without. On this forum, for example, there would be little chance that I would ever meet any of you without the forum, much less technology. I also consider some of the people on the forum to be more than friends, but best friends instead. A handful of people I met on this forum are honestly better than many of the friends I've made irl - I talk to some of them every day, sometimes for hours.

I don't believe technology makes us more lonely, but I would argue that it makes us less inclined to go outside, I suppose. But I have never felt lonely, not even once, through all the years I've been communicating via technology. I agree with Joe when he says the we're making less "traditional" connections, and I don't see that as a bad thing at all, rather the opposite!

[Braixen]

It's easy to feel lonely as a result of social media/the internet, and also to feel connected. I think social media plays a huge role in this. Social media sites like twitter, facebook, etc have found a way to make our lives look perfect. We all know a negative nancy who uses Facebook as an outlet, but majority of people will post when their happy with their significant other, post images of awesome meals, outings with friends, etc. Even if they post random images of their normal lives the pictures are usually happy. We then compares ourselves with this - it's specially daunting when we are having an off day. In this way we can feel lonely. I think the internet brings us together though, I have met a lot of fantastic people on this forum and others, and part of these relationships have really helped me feel less lonely in times of needs. When I went from a busy city life surrounded by friends to a quiet place where my friends didn't live I really relied on my online relationships and friends to feel less lonesome.

I think there has always been and will always be a level of loneliness in the world. Some people feel alone even when surrounded by others (I have felt this) and some people feel alone because they feel they have no one (and they very well may not have people in their personal lives), but I wouldn't say it's increasing or decreasing exactly, just changing shape. People are also relatively afraid of approaching one another now, that's why even a hook up app like tinder can take off! I think in the "old days" before my time people jumped on the chance to meet people because interactions in person were the only way to go. That's just a theory though :)

Nice thread~

[Tenacity]

I think personality has a far greater influence on someone's propensity to feel loneliness than technology ever will.

[SassySnivy]

I'm agreeing with Corey and Braixen. I don't think it's making us more lonely, per se, but making us feel less inclined to go outside.

To ask if it's making humanity lonely as a whole is a bit of a hasty generalization. As Tenacity said, our personality and how we view the world makes a big difference on if we feel lonely or not.

Everyone also defines "lonely" in their own way, further supporting the notion that this is something that occurs more on a case-by-case basis.

But I totally agree that for quite a few of us, it makes us feel less motivated to go OUT and go DO things.

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

I kind of feel like yes, the world has become more lonely. In my grandparents' time, everyone lived in little villages and everyone knew each other and people were friendly and not fearful of each other. These days, if you start talking to a stranger in person, they think you're crazy. I almost feel like the world has gotten too big. Now that we have access to every corner of it, most people don't bother getting to know the people around them. I have never said a word to my neighbours, for example. There is so much fear and distrust in the world, it's very sad.

I have met so many fantastic people online who I consider to be my very best friends and I am not discounting those relationships at all, but I've still felt lonely. As wonderful as meeting people from all over the place is, there's no substitute for hanging out with people in person, imo. Sure people have 1000 facebook friends but how many of them do they have meaningful conversations with? I find social media to be quite a shallow interaction, but then again, I don't really use it to meet people.

I think with the rise of technology, we have lost something important. Sometimes I will stand in an area full of people and everyone is avoiding eye contact with everyone else and staring at their phones and they honestly seem like a pack of zombies. I think we are more connected than ever, but more disconnected than ever from our surroundings and the people around us. Some people will adapt to this easily and some won't, and I think that can breed loneliness in itself.

[Suicune's Fire]

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." - John Donne

As a woman, I don't know where that leaves me... xD


I do agree with you on what you've said, Sarah. :] Makes a lot of sense. I think feeling lonely for a human is normal. I think you're going to be feeling it regardless of online communications or not.


I would disagree with someone's notion that social media and the use of the internet has made my life lonelier, or less personal, but I can't speak for others. For me, I've found many a friend on Pokémon sites such as this, as well as art sides (DeviantART), and even voice acting forums where I've done projects with people and kept in touch with them. While playing online games on my Playstation, I've met people who now I have on facebook and talk to regularly, because they're awesome. The internet has made my life much more lively. Not only because I can talk to people through a screen, but it also leads to meet-ups. For instance, Comatose lives a few streets away from me. But we didn't go to the same school, or anything else together, so there's no way I could have known him had it not been for PE2K/PXR. We don't hang out all the time or anything but he's become a pretty good friend.

I've not only felt much more at home on places like the forum as opposed to real life, but also more educated. I've learned so much from other people, and from myself, by being online. DA, for example: I only draw as a hobby, but I've certainly improved over the years thanks to the countless support and motivation over there. Back on PE2K I learned many very valuable grammar techniques which I had not previously known. Then there are the people who I'd love to go and visit overseas if I ever get the chance. I think in this instance, Pokemon brings people together, whether that's online or irl.

So I don't know. I think for some people, they might use the internet differently and feel more more alone as a result. For me, absolutely not. The internet is pretty much a blessing. :,]

[Brettles]

Oooh philosophical debate.... awesome

To me loneliness is always increased when in a large crowd.

Put me in a room by myself reading a good book or watching TV and I am perfectly happy. No people to distract me and i can just focus on what I am doing.

Add a crowd however and suddenly the addition of a lot of people who you are not interacting with points out the fact that you are alone. What today's constant connection with the world has done is allow that crowd to always be present. There are always hundreds or thousands of people just a mouse click away which increases the feeling of loneliness exponentially.

Thankfully the cure is only a mouse click away, get online and say hi to someone, give them a smiley face and get one in return, just to let everyone know that they have someone who thinks they are awesome and worth the time.

P.S. here are smileys for everyone because you are all awesome and worth the time to talk to.:biggrin::cool::embarrassed::smile:

[SassySnivy]

These days, if you start talking to a stranger in person, they think you're crazy.
I have a feeling a lot of it has to do with culture and demographics, but this I feel is not true. But I do also agree that there's no substitute for meeting up with someone in-person...but that's just me and you. Different strokes for different folks.

I'd like to kinda share an experience or two with you guys, if you don't mind the read.

I've met a lot of really cool people at the Six Flags near where I live. I knew none of these people before, but once we became acquainted that day I did stay in contact with them afterwards. For a little while, anyway.
Both times this happened, I was in the park by myself. The second occurrence is the one I remember the best, though.
I was standing in line for a roller coaster and this teenage boy and teenage girl mentioned something to me--probably something about my shirt or something--and we just kinda started a conversation from there. I was alone, so they asked me if I'd like to hang out with them until everyone had to go home.

They seemed really friendly, so I agreed to hang with and get to know them better. Some people would probably think I'm crazy for doing this because it could have been a trap...and it really could have been. However, I personally feel that if you worry that every stranger out there is trying to get you, what's the fun in life? Sure there are crazy people, but there are much more nice and genuine people out there than what's cracked up to be. (You still need to be cautious, but not everyone is out to get you....)

Anyways, we rode some more rides, talked, laughed, and overall had a good time. I didn't mind being the third wheel in this case. At all. It was a lot of fun. Before we all went our separate ways I bought us all waffle cones. What I thought would just be a typical day by myself at the amusement park (I go here by myself quite often, actually) turned out to be a pretty cool day where I met some pretty cool people. I only kept in touch with them for a little while after, but that honestly doesn't bother me.


I think with the rise of technology, we have lost something important. Sometimes I will stand in an area full of people and everyone is avoiding eye contact with everyone else and staring at their phones and they honestly seem like a pack of zombies. I think we are more connected than ever, but more disconnected than ever from our surroundings and the people around us. Some people will adapt to this easily and some won't, and I think that can breed loneliness in itself.
I love this paragraph and I'd like to quote it just to emphasize how true this paragraph is. I'll admit, I'm also guilty of being one of those "zombies." However, in big crowds this is pretty normal because I tend to feel more isolated and alone when around lots of people. This isolation, however, is a wall of sorts that I put up around myself. It's brought upon myself, and that's just how I deal with crowds. I'm a very one-on-one person, so I focus a lot on small group or individual conversations. So even if I were in a big crowd, if someone were to approach me I wouldn't typically try to push them away like I am with the rest of the crowd.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I might disagree with Sarah's first point in her post, but in no way can I speak for the rest of us. x] It's all dependent on who you're asking. I've gotta say, though, that this has been a pretty interesting discussion so far.

[Corey]

These days, if you start talking to a stranger in person, they think you're crazy. I almost feel like the world has gotten too big. Now that we have access to every corner of it, most people don't bother getting to know the people around them. I have never said a word to my neighbours, for example. There is so much fear and distrust in the world, it's very sad.


...isn't this just like the plot of Gates to Infinity?!

I guess the world is going to end. It was nice knowing you guys. :(

But really, living in the American south, small talk, so-called "southern hospitality" is a big part of social interactions. Honestly, I really hate small talk, and would be 100% happy if I never had to make eye contact or make small talk with strangers again (southern people are also often hateful and bigoted, don't let them fool u).

You sound like my grandma when you talk about social media, though. ;p

[Ganyu]

I love the arguments brought up by both sides. Very insightful and thought-provoking to read, especially when each argument is shaped by personal experiences and definitions. Also, the world has to end somehow sometime xD Lame jokes aside~

IMHO technology, being a tool, can give rise both positive and negative implications

It can be argued however that in smaller demographics, social media may not exert much of a negative influence. While one can easily form true connections (ignoring the fact that how true the relationship can be is debatable, because it could easily be a fraud or a poser) on small online communities, the same may not apply to larger ones. Personally I love smaller forums like PXR compared to bigger ones like PokeCommunity or Serebii because it's more lonely to be in a crowd, online or offline. Additionally, being able to communicate with people from other countries alone doesn't directly translate to being connected per se, since timezones sadly exist. Speaking from experience, if you're from an uncommon timezone, you might feel alone seeing that you're the only one from your side of the planet online. Real-time conversations are not as close since you and the other person might miss each other. So yeah, while it's great to be able to make many friends on social media, sometimes you might not always be able to talk to them as often as you'd like.

Another strong contention is the facade people put on when online. Are people really behaving as they do away from the screen? Social media platforms like Youtube, FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter, etc usually show only the positive stuff of the person. Most people, if not all, wouldn't upload content that reveal their flaws. People can post things just for the sake of 'likes' and instant gratification. But nobody else can tell if they're being genuine, especially if the acting is brillant (and given that the average IQ of such users is not quite high). I know a few schoolmates who have such starkly differing online and offline lives that I can be shocked on occasions that the persona I see online isn't like the one I see in school. This makes me question. Are people perpetuating their own loneliness, by not being themselves?

From my personal standpoint, social media can easily diminish one's loneliness as much as amplify it. It depends on how it's being used and of course, each individual's definition of loneliness.