How do you feel about venting?

[Hikikomori]

We all have problems but how often do you vent about them to others? What kind of things do you usually vent about and who do you usually share those grievances with? Lastly how much tolerance do you have when it comes to other people venting to or around you?

I used to be one of those people who kept pretty much everything to themselves. I viewed people who needed to be consoled by others as weak or needy unless their problems were severe. Then one day I had an emotional breakdown and I pretty much became like those people who I looked down upon. These days I find it hard not to vent every so often even though I can't rationally expect the people whom I confide in to fix my problems or make me feel better in the long term. It provides temporary relief to me at best and I almost immediately feel like a burden for dumping my problems or insecurities on other people. I obviously no longer look down on those who vent as I've done my fair share of it in recent years. I've tried therapy which is what most people recommend but most shrinks are just so detached and offer little advice. If I'm going to open up about something that's troubling me then I'd at least appreciate a humanized response, for better or worse.

Anyway you don't have to answer all those questions but I would like to hear your general thoughts on venting if you have any.

[Suicune's Fire]

In my opinion, there's absolutely nothing wrong with venting. I think it's healthy, but there's a difference between venting and plain complaining about stuff. For instance, if someone has done something to me that has upset me quite severely, I'll rant about it. If I rant to someone about something but don't get the response I'm after (e.g. they disagree with me) then I might go to someone else. xD I don't like to rant a lot, but I'm definitely open to doing it when I think it's better to get something off my chest.

Venting is absolutely much better than bottling up problems, concerns and whatever else is bothering you. On top of that, venting can sometimes resolve issues, as you find comfort in other people's words and opinions on the matter. That's probably the best case scenario. ;]

[Neo Emolga]

I don't vent, or at least I try to avoid doing so.

I think it spreads around a lot of negative feelings and generally dampens the mood of everyone around you. I think rather than just letting loose a whole tangent of negativity, it's honesty better to just make the best of things and even try to find humor in the things that didn't go your way. Sure, talking to other people about it helps, but keep it casual and don't make a drama out of it. Everyone has good and bad days.

I mean heck, I could vent about some of the things that have been happening wrong with my life, but eh, people don't need to hear that. I've got a $2500 surgery bill to pay that insurance didn't cover (even though I pay them about $350 out of pocket every month). It sucks and it bothers me, but people don't really need to know about that, even though yeah, it does bother me and there's dozens of other things I'd like to have that kind of money to spend on. And there's a bunch of other things, but I'd rather not share them. They're the kind of things that I know will get better in time and things will work out.

I'm honestly the kind of person that would rather share something that makes others laugh and smile. The bad stuff... eh, I wouldn't want people to associate me with being the "guy who rants about everything" and just seems like a dark cloud every time he shows up. Everyone prefers someone who is more fun and friendly.

[SassySnivy]

Everyone has their own way of coping with things. I think Xanthe and Neo both provided great examples of being on either end of the spectrum.

People cope differently with things, and I think we should all learn to respect if people want to vent or not.

I personally feel like it's a good way to have things not get all bottled up inside of you. Yet at the same time, some things I just brush off since I don't want to annoy everyone with constant complaining. I save my breath for the stuff that actually angers / irritates / upsets / whatevers me.

Holy heck. That was worded...very uneloquently. Sorry if that came out worded really, really strangely

[Lord Celebi]

http://www.ti-insulationgroup.com/public/wysiwyg/industrial_hvac_2.jpg

I too find HVAC systems to be essential to daily life.

[Suicune's Fire]

I'm honestly the kind of person that would rather share something that makes others laugh and smile. The bad stuff... eh, I wouldn't want people to associate me with being the "guy who rants about everything" and just seems like a dark cloud every time he shows up. Everyone prefers someone who is more fun and friendly.

I see where you're coming from. x) I think there's a huge difference between venting when you need to get something off your chest and then being the "rant person." xD For instance, sometimes things preventing me from being happy (I mean things big enough to affect every day functioning) are things I need to talk about. My friends are always willing to listen because I rarely do it, and when I do, it's because I really need it out of my system. Then afterwards, I can be the happy, fun person I usually try to be. xD Similarly, if a friend is having issues with something in their life, I'm always more than willing to lend an ear and any advice they want.

However, there are those friends who whine about things all the time... That's not cool. xD (I'm not alluding to anyone in particular. I have known pretty negative people, though.)

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

I don't really like venting. I am a pretty private person so I don't really talk about things that bother me. I am very good at forgetting/ignoring negative things or focusing on positive things. I tend to rant about small everyday things like people driving stupidly, but I try to present that in a funny way and I don't really go into serious stuff. It's probably not healthy, but oh well. xD I know lots of people like to vent on blogs and on Facebook and stuff, but I don't even like doing that. I do get annoyed enough to vent often but I usually find that whatever I say when I'm annoyed is stuff I regret later, so I have learned to just calm down before interacting with anyone.

I don't mind if other people vent though. If it makes them feel better, then that's great. :D I imagine it would be hard to deal with people who like to vent often if only because I wouldn't know what to say and it would be kind of depressing if it was really seriously bad stuff.

[Caite-chan]

My group of friends and I tend to vent a lot to each other and sometimes about each other when something happens. I think it's good every so often because it's just that feeling of getting everything out and hoping you can change whatever is going on.

[SassySnivy]

My group of friends and I tend to vent a lot to each other and sometimes about each other when something happens. I think it's good every so often because it's just that feeling of getting everything out and hoping you can change whatever is going on.
This, and actually if you can find a common dislike with someone it can actually help strengthen the bond between the two people...because it's something that you have in common. I've made a couple of friends / got to know some cool people by just talking to strangers about the petty little unimportant things that bug me. xD

[Braixen]

I think a certain degree of venting is healthy! But I do think it's good to proceed with caution to ensure you're speaking to the right person about your issues/complaints/vent topic. For some things (like a relationship) it's best to seek the advice of a non biased third party and not to complain to your friends and family over and over again. You don't want your family to have a negative impression of your partner, right? Healthy venting is good if it helps you let go of things that stress you out! I personally like to get my bad energy out by doing art or exercising. Sometimes I want to cry and talk to my family about things that bother me though :P It's not weak in my opinion!

[Felly]

I'm the kind of person that usually keeps things bottled in until it all gets to be too much. I think it's honestly better to vent a little bit to someone you know that cares and will listen to, or even just write a diary/blog entry to get it out of your system. It's no good to keep things bottled up, and it might not always be good to vent to someone else either.

[Noblejanobii]

The instant people see I have replied to this thread they'll already know my answer.

I am ok with venting. I have actually vented in a blog or two before on here just because I was so upset that I didn't know what else to do. However, venting is not for everyone. For people like my best friend and I, it's what keeps our relationship healthy. If my best friend didn't vent to me when we're in private (like when she drives me home and stuff) then I'd never know what was going on with her and wouldn't be able to support her as much as I do. The same goes for my venting with her. Venting helps us lift a weight off of us that otherwise would be suffocating us. As a person who was forced to bottle it in from the first to the eighth grade, I'm going to say now that bottling it in mentally and emotionally kills you. People who bottle it in usually feel like there's no one for them to turn to and that usually results in high amounts of depression. How do I know? It's happened to me and the friends I have now. We've all been through that and there's been several kids I knew who were going through the whole bottling scenario and didn't make it. They committed suicide because they felt that they couldn't vent about their problems to anyone. That's why I think venting is something that everyone needs to do every once and while. I'm probably giving a biased opinion given my situation, but after having to hold it in for so long and seeing the consequences of what happens when people bottle up, I think everyone should vent.

That being said, if there's one thing in this world that I hate, it's vent haters. I can't tell you how many times I got called a whiner and a five year old because I was upset over something and tried to vent to someone about it. I get that online not everyone is going to like me but the amount of hate I got during some of my most vulnerable years when I had no friends was ridiculous. It only made my situation worse and even though I did not discuss my online situation in my rant blog about my life in the past, I'm just going to say that sites like Pokefarm have been forever banned in my books because of what I went through there. I know not all sites are like that but when a moderator who is supposed to help you gets involved and says things that I'm not even allowed to say to you, one tends to forever associate sites like that with sites like those. But I digress. My point here is, if someone is venting, I don't care how annoying it is, try to help them because you never know how bad their situation is. Had I gotten some moral support in my middle school years I might not have suffered as much as I did, and while there's no turning back the clock now, I do think supporting people during a vent is more important than whether you think what they're saying is stupid or not.