From the Ashes

[LKWayvern]

Just to let you guys know in advance, this is probably going to be PG-15 ish.
In addition, you may at times see links like this: (RL). It stands for Recommended Listening. It leads to a piece of music that I think suits that particular scene. You don't have to listen if you don't want to, but it enhances the story and sets the tone quite nicely if you do.

Prologue: Ashes

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKEtI4VpJkw) A lone figure roved across the land. Bodies lay strewn across the earth.
“The purge hit this area harder than I expected…” the figure mused. It continued to scan the area, searching for some sign of life.
Then, it saw it. A twitch. A whimper. A small scrap of black fur, almost hidden in the mud.
The figure swept down towards the scrap, and gently picked it up. The scrap squeaked and pressed itself against the figure’s body. It was trembling.
“Don’t worry,” the figure told the scrap. “It will be alright. My plan will remain on course, my little Nekra…”

[LKWayvern]

Part One: Ember

Chapter 1
19 Years Later…

Two Scyther sat side by side, under a sky covered by dark clouds, eclipsing the light of the moon and endless stars.
“Look’s like a storm’s coming,” one said to the other.
The other stared at the restless clouds, and grunted. “Doesn’t make guard duty any more interesting.”
The first one sighed, and fell against the grass. “Eric, you can really be a bore sometimes.”
Eric ignored his companion. “I want to make the Clan better, Arkon.” he admitted. “I don’t see how guard duty will improve anything.”
“Guard duty improves the length of everyone in the Rahzyne Clan’s lives,” Arkon suggested. “You can make life better and safer for everyone in the Clan that way.”
Eric gave Arkon an ‘are you serious’ kind of look. Arkon met Eric’s gaze dead on. Several seconds of silence passed.
“Look, if you work hard where you are now, maybe eventually you’ll get higher up in the Clan, and be in a position to make the changes you want,” Arkon said matter-of-factly.
“Eventually,” Eric pointed out. “Eventually.”
Arkon shrugged. “Nothing good comes to those with their head in the clouds daydreaming. You can only get something if you do something.”
“I am doing something. I’m thinking. I’m thinking of moves and strategies and tactics and--”
“But that’s it!” Arkon interjected. “The Rahzyne Clan is about action and reaction. Think too long and life passes by, Eric!”
“And if you don’t think--”
“Shoosh!”
“Arkon, just--”
“Shoosh!”
And then Eric heard it. Rustling in the grass.
And then something glinted.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd-R2YpoUjk) Without hesitation Arkon rushed at the Pokemon in the grass, scythes shining green as he readied an X-Scissor.
He sliced through the grass blades effortlessly, but didn’t even faze the mysterious Pokemon.
It looked… odd. It was bulky, and had almost rocklike armor. It kind of resembled a Scyther with its build. It had similar scythes, that was for certain. But instead of growing along the arm, they jutted awkwardly to the ground.
Arkon didn’t hesitate to hit is with another X-Scissor.
The Pokemon regarded Arkon with almost a bemused expression, before it raised it’s arms. From out of the ground erupted rocks, seemingly endless rocks. Jagged, rough, huge, small. Then the last of them exited the ground. For a brief moment Arkon stood, marveling at the massive amount of boulders hanging suspended above his head. Then in a deadly Rockslide attack they all fell directly on top of the young Scyther.
Eric stared in shock and awe at the pile of large brown stones. They almost looked like the Pokemon that had pulled them out of the very bowels of the earth.
Then, one by one, they seemed to be drawn back down to the dirt where they came from, until all that remained were a few heavy stones pinning the now unconscious Arkon down.
Eric stepped backwards as the mysterious Pokemon advanced upon him.
He heard more rustling. He turned around to see four other Pokemon emerging behind him. One had a massive rectangular steel faceplate, one looked like a fluffy yellow bird, one was huge and grey with purple wings and jagged teeth, and the final one was just like the one that had just defeated Arkon.
Eric knew the only way he could survive was to flee, but there was no way out. He was going to have to stay and fight, despite it being a losing battle.
Eric turned back to the first Pokemon. He looked like a Rock type, and he had used Rock Slide.
Eric lashed out his wings violently towards the Pokemon, and a Vacuum Wave shot out towards it. The Pokemon dodged nimbly aside, and bolted towards me.
When suddenly a loud bang split the air and the Pokemon fell to the ground, blood dotting its back.
More bangs followed, and Eric felt wind blast past his face as the Pokemon behind him scattered.
The bird one launched itself at him, and all he could do was dodge frantically. The shield one started charging up the hill, little pellets of something pinging off its’ faceplate. The others started dragging the scythe-Pokemon and Arkon away.
Eric ran swiftly and silently towards the shield Pokemon, hurling another Vacuum Wave at its’ soft, unprotected backside.
The Pokemon screeched, and then a small, lithe shape leaped out from the peak of the hill. The Roserade lifted her deadly roses to her mouth, and blew. Eric felt his eyelids droop, before he fell to the ground, exhausted.

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 2

Eric’s eyes slid open and the Scyther took in his surroundings. He seemed to be in a hut made of elaborately woven grasses. They seemed so fresh that roses still remained in them, adding color to the room.
A figure approached Eric. He turned towards it, vaguely wondering if it was Yveltal.
It was the Roserade.
“Who are you?” Eric asked, pushing himself into a sitting position.
“This is my house,” the Roserade said, simply. “Several of my friends helped me grow it to be like this.”
“But what is your name?” Eric asked.
“You may call me Raider,” Raider replied. “I’m sorry for hitting you with my Grass Whistle. I meant to make the remaining Fossil Pokemon fall asleep long enough to flee with whatever members of Rahzyne Clan I could.”
Eric stared at Raider for a few moments. “When I fell asleep… What happened?”
Raider sighed. “I tried to wake up the rest of your Clan, to warn them. However, very few listened to me. They dragged you away, but soon more Fossil Pokemon arrived, and I was overwhelmed and forced to retreat. Most of the Rahvyne Clan was taken by them. I believe this includes your leader.”
Eric nodded slowly. “These ‘Fossil Pokemon’... They were the Rock types that knocked out Arkon?”
“Your Scyther friend? Yes,” Raider said. “They are… Your clan is gone.”
Eric stared at Raider for a few more moments. Then the realization suddenly hit him.
My Clan is gone.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG1X2eXsIY8) He doubled over, pain stabbing through his abdomen like his own scythes. Hot tears oozed out from his eyes. Raider watched impassively.
“You…” He choked out. “How… Who… How…?”
He roughly shook the tears away. “Who did this? How did they accomplish it?”
“They only used Fossil Pokemon in their attack,” Raider said. “Fossil Pokemon all are Rock types… And Rock types have a vast advantage over Scyther. Especially since your kind is so set on never evolving.”
Eric gave Raider an ‘I-know-right’ sort of look. “Who did this?” he asked again.
Raider sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back. “I do not know for sure, but I have my suspicions. Right now you are addled by sorrow… We’ll discuss this later.”

It was a restless night for Eric. He tossed and turned, and his nightmares were filled with strange rock-like demons, wielding scythes that were twisted variants of his own.
When he awoke again, sunlight was streaming through the spaces between the blades of grass that made up the walls.
Blades.
Feeling nauseous, Eric made his way out of the grass house, to find himself in a beautiful garden.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqeodnT3bkI) The sunlight blinded him at first, but then as his eyes adjusted he saw the garden in all its’ glory.
Trees of all variety grown into various shapes perfectly, climbing vines adorning their trunks. Spiraling out around the trees were a myriad rainbow of flowers. Roses, violets, daisies, sunflowers, dandelions, lilacs, lavenders, and practically every other kind of flower that Eric could name. It didn’t seem possible that a garden like this could exist, but it somehow did.
In the center of the garden sat three Pokemon. Raider, a female Lopunny, and a Pokemon Eric had never seen before. It looked a lot like a small white hedgehog with bushy green fur like overgrown grass covering its’ back, and dainty pink ears shaped similarly to five-petalled flowers.
Unable to speak, Eric made his way over to the three. The Lopunny looked up, and smiled at him.
He dug the tips of his scythes into the soil so none of the Pokemon would know his legs had just dissolved to water.
“Hello!” the Lopunny said. “You must be Eric, right? I’m Kai. You’ve already met Raider, and the hedgehog is Shaymin.”
Kai was wearing a pair of earrings that looked like a brass chain crawling up each of her ears and connecting a small tiara. At the end of one chain was a Lopunnite, and the other ended with a Keystone. Kai also had a light cream jacket on, which accented the fluff on her arms, legs, and ears.
Raider, meanwhile, was now wearing boots. They seemed to be made of very tough looking cloth, were pale yellow in color, and the edges were spiked with thorns. Around her torso Raider sported a bright red scarf with a pocket in the side. The pocket seemed to be stained dark purple.
“What’s in that pocket?” was the first question that came out of Eric’s mouth.
“Black Sludge,” Raider replied. “For Poison types like me it restores health when I’m touching some, but if it contacts the skin of a different type of Pokemon… Well, it’s not pretty.”
Eric’s mind went blank for several moments.
“Where is this?” he finally asked.
“You’re in Vibrant Meadow,” Shaymin answered. “I created it as a safe haven for Grass type Pokemon. Although lately it seems all kinds of Pokemon are taking refuge here.” Shaymin looked pointedly at Raider. “I took Raider in when she was a lost little Budew. Taught her everything I knew about battling.”
“She’s quite good,” the Scyther complemented.
“Shaymin’s like a mother to Raider,” Kai chimed in. “I only just came here, myself. My trainer got old, and they sent him to a retirement home where Pokemon weren’t allowed. So all his Pokemon got released.” She fingered her tiara. “This was my Mom’s. She was really good at contests a long time ago. My trainer bought it with the prize money from some of their first contests.” Kai bit her lip. “She died when she was released.”
Eric wanted to comfort Kai. He didn’t want to see a Pokemon that pretty crying. But he knew that if he tried to put his arm around her shoulder he would probably decapitate her, and that would be very messy, so he refrained from doing anything.
“I assume you’re doing better than you were last night?” Raider asked. “This place… Simply seeing it calms the soul greatly. Do you want to talk about the events of last night now?”
Eric nodded. “Yes. Who did those… Fossil Pokemon, you called them? Who did they belong to?”
“I believe they are part of a group called Team Reva,” Raider explained.
“I’ve done some spying missions,” Shaymin added. “They have multiple leaders. The big one is a Shiny Delphox, named Nekra. She seems to know black magic, particularly necromancy. The other leaders I’m not so sure the identities of. But there are rumors that one of them is a Latias or Latios…”
“It’s also unknown what the intentions of Team Reva are,” Raider concluded. “I personally think Nekra is trying to bring something very powerful, or a large group of Pokemon, back to life, and requires Pokemon sacrifice to do it…”
“What!?” Eric yelled, panicked. “My clan… The entire Rahzyne Clan is going to get sacrificed for some… Some… Dark arts ritual?”
“We don’t know for sure,” Shaymin admitted. “But we’re highly suspicious.”
Eric stared at the three Pokemon. “I… I’m going to get my clan back. They may shoot Razor Winds first and ask questions later… But all my friends and family are in there. I can’t be left disconnected like that. I simply can’t. I would go insane.”

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 3

Eric looked at the other three Pokemon in Vibrant Garden with him.
“...So, how do we proceed?” the Scyther asked. “How many members do we have?”
Shaymin sighed, closing her eyes. “Let’s see… There’s Raider and Kai, of course… And you just joined… So that’s…” Shaymin opened her eyes again. “Five, including myself.”
“Five?” Eric asked, confused. “Then… who’s the fifth member?”
“Rosie. She’s a Cubone, on an away mission.”
“That doesn’t seem like very many Pokemon to fight a large amount like Team Reva seems to be…,” Eric mumbled.
“Well, Team Reva has only become hostile recently,” Shaymin explained. “Before they were very quiet. Most of the Pokemon in the Utopia region either don’t know of Team Reva, don’t feel threatened by them, or are waiting for someone else to deal with them because they are either too scared, or too lazy. We are the only Pokemon powerful and brave enough who are aware of Team Reva. Hence, why there are so few of us.”
“We all take turns on special missions to raise awareness of Team Reva and try to get more members for the Phoenix League,” Kai jumped in. “It’s Rosie’s turn right now, that’s why she isn’t here.”
Raider was looking Eric up and down. “Hmmm… Shaymin, don’t you think he’ll need some clothes?” the Roserade asked.
Eric frowned. Clothes? Pokemon almost never wore those. They were seen as only for humans. However, it was true that Kai and Raider were both wearing a few articles of clothing.
Reading his puzzled expression, Raider explained “Clothes can be useful, Eric. They can free up our hands while still providing the benefit of an item, they can be items themselves, they can even be armor, or a bag of some sort.”
Kai grabbed Eric’s hand, and Eric felt multiple Butterfree start swelling through his stomach. He tried to say something, but failed utterly as the Lopunny dragged him off.
“Come on, we’re going to get you a new look,” Kai told him, smiling. And to Eric, everything just seemed… right.
“...You can tell he has never encountered a Pokemon with the Cute Charm ability before,” Shaymin commented as Eric was dragged off. “Raider, why didn’t we find an item to counter Cute Charm’s effects before we let a male on the team?”
“Because we’re desperate for items, and I don’t think an item like that exists,” Raider replied. “Besides, it’s actually amusing to watch. And the future looks dark, so we need all the laughter we can find…”

After around thirty minutes, Eric emerged with a rather odd outfit.
First of all, wrapped around the soft part of his abdomen was an Expert Belt. In addition, he now had leather sheathes tied around his scythes, so that he would not accidentally injure one of his allies. The sheathes were tied onto his arms firmly, but in such a way that Eric could untie them quickly if he needed to suddenly fight.
Kai seemed rather disappointed by Eric’s choice in clothes. However, when Raider saw it she informed Eric of her approval.
Shaymin, however, looked rather serious. A Pidove was fidgeting near her. Upon noticing Eric, Shaymin looked his way.
“Eric, come here,” the Legendary Pokemon commanded.
The Scyther obeyed. Kai and Raider looked on curiously, as the Pidove continued fidgeting.
“Eric, it seems that Rosie has actually succeeded,” Shaymin stated. “She has found two young Eeveeloutions who are eager to join our team.”
“That’s great!” Kai said, happily.
“Unfortunately, they seem a bit… revenge-driven,” Shaymin sighed. “They’re joining us because they, too, are the only survivors of their entire Clan being kidnapped. However, they seem rather reluctant to leave their old home, and aren’t quite used to their powers right now, being newly evolved… She has requested assistance in getting both of them back to Vibrant Meadow. And I’ve decided that this mission will test quite nicely how you can manage things out in the field.” The Grass type turned to the Pidove. “Ren here will be your guide to Rosie’s current location. As for getting back, Rosie can guide you herself just fine. Now get together anything you wish to bring, and go.”

EricxKai will never happen. Eric was infatuated by Kai's Cute Charm the entire time. I am evil to my shippers.
I feel like FtA isn't as good writing as I used to do... If anyone wants to comment and give me some constructive criticism, I'd really like that...

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Plot and Characterization Focused

Chapter One
Right from the start, we have a nice bit of conflict between the two Scyther posted on guard duty for their clan. What is this clan? Who are these Scyther? Where are they? What kind of world is this? Right away you have all sorts of questions being raised to go with those raised by the prologue which is good. I love a story that makes me wonder things right out of the gate, so you've definitely captured my interest. Before we can get any world building though, there is an eruption of violence, Arkon is felled by what I assume to be a Kabutops and things don't look good for Eric when more hostile Pokemon appear. Just when things look bad, these Pokemon, (consisting of what I assume to be a Bastiodon, two Kabutops, an Aerodactyl, and maybe an Archeops?) flee under the assault of a mysterious attacker. The conflict seems to have resolved quickly enough, although the question remains, who were these Pokemon? Why were they attacking? Are they wild, animalistic minds, or something more cunning? The mysteries don't stop as a mysterious Roserade on a ledge knocks out our hero Eric with some kind of sleep powder, clouding her identity as friend or foe.

There are a lot of questions here, as I've already mentioned, and I like that, but there seems to be kind of a rush to get into the action. I assume that the answers to these questions will be revealed as the story continues, but for now, the immediate questions of who, when, where, and why are left up in the air in favor of some what. Starting off with a bang is a good way to seize the reader by the shoulders and pull them into your world, but it helps to have an idea of what that world is. Many stories use a character who's an outsider to help explore the world of the story, think Luke Skywalker or Harry Potter, but from this first chapter, especially the conversation between Arkon and Eric, it looks like our nominal hero is already cemented in his world and so he may be unlikely to provide much illumination on the subject of his Clan and the overall world that he lives in.

Chapter Two
Alright, so we're getting introduced to a lot of new characters with Kai the Lopunny, Raider the Roserade from earlier, and Shaymin. For some reason Kai knew Eric's name, which struck me as odd, but the whole group seemed very familiar with the Scyther, as if they were waiting for him or something along those lines.

With this chapter, the stakes are already getting raised immensely. Not only do we have some kind of necromancer Pokemon resurrecting Fossil Pokemon and plotting some evil ritual, but also Eric's entire clan has been decimated. I couldn't say it hit me that hard since I knew little about them, but your description of the Scyther's reaction to this news was enough to tug at my heartstrings. It seems like this story is rushing toward the action, but I would encourage you to slow down and smell the roses...and the lilacs, and the violets, and all of those other flowers. It seems like you've given a lot of thought to this plot, and its certainly shaping up to be an excellent one. But I feel like it detracts a bit from this grand story if the news that not only Kai had a trainer, but that there are trainers at all comes as a huge plot twist to me. Please, let us readers in on the whole world you've created. Without a good background, the news of a Clan being destroyed or a mysterious plot to do evil are vague ideas without concrete form. First comes understanding and knowledge, then comes the emotional connection to the characters that will make this story even more engaging.

Chapter Three
So, we finally get a name to our heroic group: the Phoenix League. Apt imagery for Pokemon who recruit their members from among the victims of Team Reva. Their small numbers do a wonderful job of conveying a true underdog status and I enjoyed the fact that the fact that these Pokemon wear articles of clothing is weird to Eric. It looks like I might be getting my wish for an outside character after all. Don't be afraid to have some exposition-laced dialogue. My favorite passages of your story so far have been the description of Nekra's plot and the brief discussion explaining the Phoenix League's use of clothing to Eric. I think you have a talent for taking what other authors might see as info dumps and portray them in a way that stays true to the character of the speakers and fills in some of the knowledge gaps I find myself suffering from.

As is necessary, it isn't enough for Eric to just join the underdog group, he has to go on a mission to prove himself first. I like the idea of revenge-obsessed Eevee evolutions and am really looking forward to experiencing them. My big question for this chapter is what is the status of human-Pokemon relations in this Utopia region? There appears to be humans and Eric is familiar with them despite being a wild Scyther living with a clan, but there seems to be no mention of any humans being aware of an evil Delphox using reanimated fossil Pokemon to destroy other Pokemon, or even any mention of the humans being unaware of such a threat. Are there just not enough humans in Utopia for them to matter? But how does Eric know about them then?

Spelling and Grammar Focused
I normally only nitpick when asked, so this is a little light as I was reading mostly for the story and had three chapters that I wanted to get through.

Chapter One

“Look’s like a storm’s coming,” one said to the other.
"Look's" should be "Looks" here.


Arkon didn’t hesitate to hit is with another X-Scissor.
I assume "hit is" should be "hit it".


The Pokemon regarded Arkon with almost a bemused expression, before it raised it’s arms.
"raised it's arms" should be "raised its arms".


Then in a deadly Rockslide attack they all fell directly on top of the young Scyther.
If you're referring to the Pokemon move, as with X-Scissor, "Rockslide" should be "Rock Slide".


Eric lashed out his wings violently towards the Pokemon, and a Vacuum Wave shot out towards it. The Pokemon dodged nimbly aside, and bolted towards me.
I think that "me" should be something a little less first-person.


The shield one started charging up the hill, little pellets of something pinging off its’ faceplate.
"its'" doesn't need the apostrophe.


The others started dragging the scythe-Pokemon and Arkon away.
Since you use "shield Pokemon" in the next sentence, I think that "scythe-Pokemon" should be written as "scythe-Pokemon".


Eric ran swiftly and silently towards the shield Pokemon, hurling another Vacuum Wave at its’ soft, unprotected backside.
Again, "its'" shouldn't have an apostrophe.

Chapter Two

The sunlight blinded him at first, but then as his eyes adjusted he saw the garden in all its’ glory.
Again, "its'" should be written without the apostrophe.

It looked a lot like a small white hedgehog with bushy green fur like overgrown grass covering its’ back, and dainty pink ears shaped similarly to five-petalled flowers.[/QUOTE]
"Its'" should lose the apostrophe again, and "petalled" should have only one "l".

[LKWayvern]

Thanks for the review, Phantasm!
Sorry if the action seems a bit rushed, after chapter four I plan for there to be some filler. I just wanted to get the Phoenix League all together as soon as possible.
As for humans... Well, there are humans in the Pokemon world. They occasionally come into the Utopia region for a purpose that
will be revealed later, but for the most part despite no humans actually living in Utopia, they have a very big impact on the story.
Eric is, simultaneously, an insider and an outsider. All the Clans have very different ways of life. Some are aggressive, some are peaceful, some are advanced, some are primitive, some are racist, some are tolerant. Eric's tribe has always been rather aggressive and primitive, since scythes aren't very good for building things, and are better weapons of war.
And yes, they were two Kabutops, Bastiodon, Archaeops, and Aerodactyl.
Also, Raider was trying to knock out the Fossils with GrassWhistle, but they got away and she accidentally got Eric instead.
And I made the Phoenix League that familiar with Eric because I figured that since not all of his Clan got kidnapped, one of them might've identified him for them.
I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, I promise it'll slow down a bit after Chapter 4, where we meet the last three members of the Phoenix League for quite a while!

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 4

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RWx0cBdPQE) Thanks to the speed of Eric and Ren’s wings, they managed to make it to where Rosie supposedly was within a day. Ren immediately left for his home and family, after a brief goodbye.
Eric walked through the dark forest, glancing about for signs of danger. After a brief bit of consideration, he undid the ties from his sheathes, and tucked them into his Expert Belt. Better safe than sorry, and the sharp blades might ward off wild Pokemon.
After roughly a half hour of walking, Eric came across what looked like an abandoned Clan’s home. A mish-mash of different kinds of dens, from squarish, squat ice-houses to leafy huts similar to Raider’s, stony caverns converted into sleeping areas, and even simple shallow dips in the ground used as a nest for sleeping under the stars, ash pits and small ponds, so much diversity that Eric had never experienced before. In the Rahzyne Clan, since the only Pokemon there were Scyther, all the dens had been carved out of fallen trees. Although useful in battle, scythes were not built for construction.
Eric realized that this must have been the Clan that the two Eeveeloutions had lived in. It seemed as if there had been no battle, no bloodshed. Almost as if all the inhabitants had, of their own free will, simply gotten up and left.
Eric frowned. He wondered how long it had taken Rosie to find the two young Eeveeloutions huddled in their ghost town of a home, and how they had managed to remain there.
He began trekking through the deserted Clan, observing where Eevee and their evolutions had previously slept, worked, and played. He noted with curiosity how a large amount of pawprints tramped through and out the town, each one similar to the others but not quite the same.
He had just noticed three sets of pawprints heading away from the others, when he heard something whistling through the air behind him. By then, however, it was too late to dodge as a massive thwunk!! rattled his skull and knocked him unconscious…

The high-pitched voices of children drifted into Eric’s ears as he slowly became conscious again.
“Hey, Gadzooks, it’s working! He’s breathing!”
“I told you I knew how to do it, Koray!”
“Let’s ask him why he’s after us, she’ll be so proud of us if we find out!”
“What if he’s with Team Reva? What if he knows where Mama and Papa are?”
Eric straightened up when he heard them mention Team Reva. “I’m not…” he muttered before the back of his head began throbbing again. He slouched down again. “I’m not…” he groaned, softer than before. “One… Of…”
“Look! He’s talking!” One of the voices said, excitedly.
Eric slowly opened his eyes. Fuzzy lights spiraled and spun for a moment, before aligning into an Umbreon and… A shiny Sylveon?
They both looked male. The Umbreon was wearing a blue scarf with a pocket sewn into the side of it, similar to Raider’s. The Sylveon, on the other hand, was wearing what appeared to be a beret, and a comically oversized bag on his back secured to his body with multiple straps.
Eric looked down. His scythes were back in their sheathes, but the ties on the sheathes were poorly done. He seemed to be tied up with hopeless, seemingly neverending piles of… yarn? This was a rather odd day for him.
Ignoring the two children staring at him quizzically, Eric bent down towards his sheathes. The yarn was mostly around his legs, wings, and upper arms, so it didn’t bother him too much. He used his teeth to pull apart the ties, before shaking the sheathes off his scythes. He brandished the blades briefly before quickly cutting the yarn off himself.
“Oh, no you don’t get away from me that easily, Scyther…” a female voice suddenly rang out. Eric stopped, and sighed.
“Aunty Rosie!” both Eon children yelled gleefully.
In the door stood a rather odd looking Cubone. She clutched in her hands two bone knitting needles. Instead of a skull mask, she had a mask woven from black yarn, with a single red thread going from the tip of her snout to the base of her neck. There were holes for her eyes, which were squinting with anger, and a zipper for her mouth, giving Eric the impression that she was some sort of psychopathic Banette. Secured to her back was a small bag, from which more yarn spilled out.
Eric sighed, exasperated, upon hearing her words. “You’re Rosie, that member of the Phoenix League?” he asked.
The Cubone nodded, brandishing her needles. “Yes. And you are not taking these children, Reva scum!”
“This is just a misunderstanding,” Eric replied right away. “I’m a newly recruited member of the Phoenix League, my name is Eric, I was sent here to give you a hand with escorting the chil--”
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6_iu5bYsS8) Gadzooks suddenly shot out his ribbons towards Eric, wrapping them around the Scyther. Koray jumped backwards, multiple lights pulsing different colors randomly formed in front of him. Rosie looped some yarn around each of her needles and got into a battle stance.
Eric froze. He didn’t want to hurt the kids, or his team member. But they seemed more than willing to hurt him.
His wings buzzed to life, and he shot upwards. His leg was yanked out from Gadzooks’ ribbons, and Koray’s Confuse Ray missed him.
Eric figured that he would have some breathing room up near the ceiling, with him being far out of the other Pokemon’s grasp.
Let’s see… I really don’t want to hurt them. I wonder if I could just talk to them, while hovering up here? No, I don’t think that would work. They don’t seem to be in the mood for tal--
Suddenly a bone needle that Rosie had thrown nailed Eric right between the eyes.
The little Cubone waved cheerfully. “Hey! You may be a Flying type, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mortally injure you, doofus!”
Eric fell to the ground. Koray gleefully hit him with another Confuse Ray.
Eric screamed. His vision filled with painful strobing lights flashing unpredictably on and off, switching colors and intensity at whim. His head was throbbing both from the repeated whacks to it, and the painful pulsing strobe lights. He closed his eyes as tightly as possible, and put his scythes on his head trying to block out the lights. Which was stupid of him, seeing that that was also rather painful.
“Hai-yah!” Gadzooks yelled, using Disarming Voice. Eric slightly opened one eye. A light pink mist was around the Sylveon’s mouth, but that might’ve been an afterimage from the painful effects of Confuse Ray.
“Bet you didn’t expect us to be so strong, did ya, Reva scum?” Gadzooks asked, still taunting the Scyther while using Disarming Voice. “You didn’t expect anything from two newly evolved Eevee hatchlings. Well, this is what you get for taking away our entire Clan, and then coming back like nothing ever happened!”
Eric growled in response the pain. Rosie hurled another bone needle at him, and Koray hit him hard with a Toxic attack. He felt sick to his stomach, like he wanted to vomit. He wanted to tear out his eyes to make the terrible throbbing stop.
“I’m not from Reva…” he growled, sinking his scythes into the dirt floor. Koray kicked out the blades from under him, his paws coated in dark energy as he used Foul Play. Eric crumpled into a small green heap of scythes and wings.
Rosie chuckled, descending on Eric as she returned his scythes to their sheathes, and began tying him up again with something that felt much sturdier, like metal. As Eric’s vision faded to black, he thought he saw the Eeveeloution brothers high-fiving each other…

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 4

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RWx0cBdPQE) Thanks to the speed of Eric and Ren’s wings, they managed to make it to where Rosie supposedly was within a day. Ren immediately left for his home and family, after a brief goodbye.
Eric walked through the dark forest, glancing about for signs of danger. After a brief bit of consideration, he undid the ties from his sheathes, and tucked them into his Expert Belt. Better safe than sorry, and the sharp blades might ward off wild Pokemon.
After roughly a half hour of walking, Eric came across what looked like an abandoned Clan’s home. A mish-mash of different kinds of dens, from squarish, squat ice-houses to leafy huts similar to Raider’s, stony caverns converted into sleeping areas, and even simple shallow dips in the ground used as a nest for sleeping under the stars, ash pits and small ponds, so much diversity that Eric had never experienced before. In the Rahzyne Clan, since the only Pokemon there were Scyther, all the dens had been carved out of fallen trees. Although useful in battle, scythes were not built for construction.
Eric realized that this must have been the Clan that the two Eeveeloutions had lived in. It seemed as if there had been no battle, no bloodshed. Almost as if all the inhabitants had, of their own free will, simply gotten up and left.
Eric frowned. He wondered how long it had taken Rosie to find the two young Eeveeloutions huddled in their ghost town of a home, and how they had managed to remain there.
He began trekking through the deserted Clan, observing where Eevee and their evolutions had previously slept, worked, and played. He noted with curiosity how a large amount of pawprints tramped through and out the town, each one similar to the others but not quite the same.
He had just noticed three sets of pawprints heading away from the others, when he heard something whistling through the air behind him. By then, however, it was too late to dodge as a massive thwunk!! rattled his skull and knocked him unconscious…

The high-pitched voices of children drifted into Eric’s ears as he slowly became conscious again.
“Hey, Gadzooks, it’s working! He’s breathing!”
“I told you I knew how to do it, Koray!”
“Let’s ask him why he’s after us, she’ll be so proud of us if we find out!”
“What if he’s with Team Reva? What if he knows where Mama and Papa are?”
Eric straightened up when he heard them mention Team Reva. “I’m not…” he muttered before the back of his head began throbbing again. He slouched down again. “I’m not…” he groaned, softer than before. “One… Of…”
“Look! He’s talking!” One of the voices said, excitedly.
Eric slowly opened his eyes. Fuzzy lights spiraled and spun for a moment, before aligning into an Umbreon and… A shiny Sylveon?
They both looked male. The Umbreon was wearing a blue scarf with a pocket sewn into the side of it, similar to Raider’s. The Sylveon, on the other hand, was wearing what appeared to be a beret, and a comically oversized bag on his back secured to his body with multiple straps.
Eric looked down. His scythes were back in their sheathes, but the ties on the sheathes were poorly done. He seemed to be tied up with hopeless, seemingly neverending piles of… yarn? This was a rather odd day for him.
Ignoring the two children staring at him quizzically, Eric bent down towards his sheathes. The yarn was mostly around his legs, wings, and upper arms, so it didn’t bother him too much. He used his teeth to pull apart the ties, before shaking the sheathes off his scythes. He brandished the blades briefly before quickly cutting the yarn off himself.
“Oh, no you don’t get away from me that easily, Scyther…” a female voice suddenly rang out. Eric stopped, and sighed.
“Aunty Rosie!” both Eon children yelled gleefully.
In the door stood a rather odd looking Cubone. She clutched in her hands two bone knitting needles. Instead of a skull mask, she had a mask woven from black yarn, with a single red thread going from the tip of her snout to the base of her neck. There were holes for her eyes, which were squinting with anger, and a zipper for her mouth, giving Eric the impression that she was some sort of psychopathic Banette. Secured to her back was a small bag, from which more yarn spilled out.
Eric sighed, exasperated, upon hearing her words. “You’re Rosie, that member of the Phoenix League?” he asked.
The Cubone nodded, brandishing her needles. “Yes. And you are not taking these children, Reva scum!”
“This is just a misunderstanding,” Eric replied right away. “I’m a newly recruited member of the Phoenix League, my name is Eric, I was sent here to give you a hand with escorting the chil--”
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6_iu5bYsS8) Gadzooks suddenly shot out his ribbons towards Eric, wrapping them around the Scyther. Koray jumped backwards, multiple lights pulsing different colors randomly formed in front of him. Rosie looped some yarn around each of her needles and got into a battle stance.
Eric froze. He didn’t want to hurt the kids, or his team member. But they seemed more than willing to hurt him.
His wings buzzed to life, and he shot upwards. His leg was yanked out from Gadzooks’ ribbons, and Koray’s Confuse Ray missed him.
Eric figured that he would have some breathing room up near the ceiling, with him being far out of the other Pokemon’s grasp.
Let’s see… I really don’t want to hurt them. I wonder if I could just talk to them, while hovering up here? No, I don’t think that would work. They don’t seem to be in the mood for tal--
Suddenly a bone needle that Rosie had thrown nailed Eric right between the eyes.
The little Cubone waved cheerfully. “Hey! You may be a Flying type, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mortally injure you, doofus!”
Eric fell to the ground. Koray gleefully hit him with another Confuse Ray.
Eric screamed. His vision filled with painful strobing lights flashing unpredictably on and off, switching colors and intensity at whim. His head was throbbing both from the repeated whacks to it, and the painful pulsing strobe lights. He closed his eyes as tightly as possible, and put his scythes on his head trying to block out the lights. Which was stupid of him, seeing that that was also rather painful.
“Hai-yah!” Gadzooks yelled, using Disarming Voice. Eric slightly opened one eye. A light pink mist was around the Sylveon’s mouth, but that might’ve been an afterimage from the painful effects of Confuse Ray.
“Bet you didn’t expect us to be so strong, did ya, Reva scum?” Gadzooks asked, still taunting the Scyther while using Disarming Voice. “You didn’t expect anything from two newly evolved Eevee hatchlings. Well, this is what you get for taking away our entire Clan, and then coming back like nothing ever happened!”
Eric growled in response the pain. Rosie hurled another bone needle at him, and Koray hit him hard with a Toxic attack. He felt sick to his stomach, like he wanted to vomit. He wanted to tear out his eyes to make the terrible throbbing stop.
“I’m not from Reva…” he growled, sinking his scythes into the dirt floor. Koray kicked out the blades from under him, his paws coated in dark energy as he used Foul Play. Eric crumpled into a small green heap of scythes and wings.
Rosie chuckled, descending on Eric as she returned his scythes to their sheathes, and began tying him up again with something that felt much sturdier, like metal. As Eric’s vision faded to black, he thought he saw the Eeveeloution brothers high-fiving each other…

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 6

The Sparring Glade turned out to be a small hollow ringed by Oran trees. The moss inside it was soft, like a carpet, and would certainly cushion Eric’s fall if he hit the ground.
As the Scyther stood facing Raider, his feet sunk into the cool mossy pillow on the ground.
“First, let’s start by seeing just how good at battling you three are,” Raider said. “If you hit me once, I faint. If I hit you once, you faint. Moves are encouraged, but don’t go all out. Now, Gadzooks, hit me with whatever you--”
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIVgSuuUTwQ) Before Raider had even finished speaking, Gadzooks raced recklessly towards Raider, his ribbons enlarging and hurling themselves around her, intending to grab and restrain her.
Raider leaped backwards, and the ribbons only grabbed themselves, getting tangled up. Gadzooks changed tactics and leaped towards Raider, baring his fangs. Raider didn’t even try to dodge, instead holding out her roses, and letting out a single round of Bullet Seed with a loud bang!
Gadzooks screeched and tried to dodge. His momentum made him hit the grass awkwardly, however, he had been too late. The Bullet Seed had grazed his tail.
“Now, Koray, attack,” Raider commanded.
The Umbreon crouched down in the moss, sizing the Roserade up. He readied a Confuse Ray in front of himself, and launched the orb out at Raider.
Raider closed her eyes, allowing the Confuse Ray to hit her. She then let aimed her roses in front of her, and stopped.
Koray froze, unsure of what to expect. He hesitantly formed a sphere of Toxic in front of him, and hurled the deadly venom at Raider. She didn’t even flinch, instead she calmly fired two Pin Missiles at Koray.
The Umbreon shrieked, and white energy sparked off his fur as he used Quick Attack to get away. He stared at Raider from his new position for several moments, unsure of what to do.
Raider opened her eyes again, having successfully waited out the confusion. She scanned the Glade for Koray, and then finding him, fired another Pin Missile right beside him.
Before it hit the Dark type, he was off like a rocket with his Quick Attack. Raider noted how he didn’t seem to be very good at steering and was going too fast to stop, and so fired a Pin Missile at the area right in front of him. Koray yelled as the Missile hit his paw, more out of surprise than pain.
Raider gave a gesture to Eric. Eric got into a battle stance, taking off his sheathes and raising his scythes before him.
Eric paused for a moment, wondering what would be the best way to proceed. He decided to test Raider with a U-Turn attack.
As Eric charged down the Roserade, his body dissolved into brilliant green energy. Raider quickly put up a Protect attack. The energy rebounded off of the barrier, and regrouped back into a Scyther on the other side of the Glade. Raider ran towards Eric right away, knowing the Scyther had to recover from the experience of being transformed into energy and back.
Eric readied an Aerial Ace, and shot towards Raider, moving slightly slower than she. While he ran he tried to identify what move she was going to use. His best guess was something with her roses, but that didn’t narrow it down very much.
Right when Eric was just about to hit Raider hard with his Aerial Ace, Raider let loose a massive cloud of yellow spores directly in front of Eric’s face. Before he realized what was happening, Eric inhaled the Stun Spore, and felt its numbing effects grip his limbs immediately.
Raider tapped Eric’s nose. “There. I defeated you all. Now, Aromatherapy.” Once the healing move had worked its’ magic, the three young Pokemon gathered in a line once more.
Raider first turned her attention to Gadzooks. “Where to begin. First of all, you charged me before you had even fully conceived a strategy. You didn’t even use any actual moves, you simply flailed about with your ribbons, and tried to tackle me into submission. Without moves, a Pokemon is just helpless, just like a trainer without their Pokemon. If you had tried to get me with one of your ranged attacks, like Fairy Wind, you could’ve hit me.”
Gadzooks looked down at his paws.
Raider turned towards her next victim. “Koray. You used Confuse Ray on me to keep me from hurting you, but you knew I was clever enough not to do damage to myself. You also used Toxic on me, when you know perfectly well that Toxic won’t hurt a Poison type like me. You also did not use your Quick Attack to hit me, but instead you used it to dodge my moves.” Raider paused a moment. “You’re clever. You know how to use your moves, and you’re loyal. Too loyal, in fact. You’d have no problem attacking a Team Reva member, I assume, but I believe that you don’t have full control over the strength of your more powerful moves, so you try to restrain yourself to just status moves while sparring. This won’t help your problem at all. You may hurt your allies if you hit them with a move, but you will also gain greater control with that move. If you gain greater control, you can avoid injuring your allies, and do more damage to your foes.”
Koray smiled up at Raider. He seemed quite pleased with her appraisal of his skills.
Raider shifted her attention to Eric. “Now, Eric… The first time we met, you were stuck in your head trying to figure out the strengths and weaknesses of a new enemy. Even if you had been evenly matched with the fossils, you knew too little about how to fight them, and would have been defeated because of that. You saw Gadzooks and Koray attack me, and yet you still took some time pondering what to do. Your U-Turn attack was to drop you far enough away to give you more time to think. You only attacked when pressed, and you spent far too much time wondering what I was doing to realize I was using Stun Spore. You need to rely on your thoughts less and your instincts more, or else a particularly bloodthirsty or fast opponent may hit you much harder than I did.”
Raider sighed. “Good work, everyone. Tomorrow I shall begin working with each of you individually. Koray, you need the least work, so you will go first. When I believe that you are ready, I will move on to Eric, and then to Gadzooks. When I believe you are each strong enough, we will try this exercise again. Now, it is getting late. Go find some food to eat.”

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 7

After dinner Eric, Koray, and Gadzooks were taken to their sleeping quarters. Apparently, the male members slept in one room while the female members slept in another. There were roughly fifteen hammocks in the room, and yet Eric, Koray, and Gadzooks had it all to themselves.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkEMv56thlo) The three Pokemon lay on their hammocks, staring up at the grassy ceiling. There was light in the room, from the softly glowing mushrooms in all the corners shining just brightly enough to see but not bright enough to make it difficult to fall asleep. It was like a mushroom nightlight.
There were a few moments of silence. Then Eric heard Gadzooks ask “Tell us a bedtime story, Eric.”
Eric blinked slowly. “I don’t know any bedtime stories. The Rahzyne Clan… They told us old legends of war heroes, hoping that someday we would become as honored as they.”
“Then tell us one of those,” Gadzooks pleaded.
Eric closed his eyes, casting his memory back. “It used to be that Pokemon and humans lived on multiple different regions together,” he recited. “Humans became trainers and roamed the land with their chosen teams of Pokemon. However, certain Pokemon were forced to be with cruel trainers, or unwillingly torn away from their families. Many Pokemon disliked this, and demanded that the humans give them their own region to be free on, and forget humans.”
Eric inhaled for a moment, trying to remember what happened next in the tale. “The humans gave the Pokemon the region of Utopia, and promised they would never set foot there. The Pokemon split into their respective clans, and lived in a golden age for many years. But then the humans broke their promise and returned. They started by capturing a few Pokemon that wandered off, but then one group found the Grafiz Clan, which was made up of Linoone and Zigzagoon. The Clan was destroyed. Adults were captured and sold to rich and powerful trainers, children were given out to young children and elderly adults as pets, and eggs were given to beginning trainers so that the young Zigzagoon would imprint on the trainer, and obey their commands faithfully, no matter what it was. The humans attacked several other Clans, before they found the Rahzyne Clan. The fearless Scyther of the Rahzyne Clan, led by their leader Katsuko, massacred the humans, and ever since that day they honored their promise and never again set foot in the Utopia Region.”
“Our Mama told us that story,” Koray spoke up. “But she said that an elderly Espeon telepathically conveyed her feelings of sorrow and betrayal to the humans, and the humans, feeling guilty, then left and never came back.”
Eric nodded. “What was your clan like?” he asked.
Koray bit his lip. “Our Clan was called the Muli Clan. You saw our village, right? Auntie Rosie said she found you near the buildings area. You saw how diverse it was. How many different homes and dens, each created specially for a specific Eeveeloution. There were also the most abundant farms, and these beautiful gardens that I swear rival Vibrant Meadow’s… And the Muli Clan, we were one of the better ones. We had many allies among other Clans, and often traded with them. We were intelligent, and no one in our living memory had ever went to war with another Clan…”
“The Rahzyne Clan was very different,” Eric admitted. “Our scythes weren’t very good tools for building, so we were a rather primitive clan. What we couldn’t create we attacked other clans and stole from them. We were not well liked among the Clans… My allies, they attacked before they fully thought out their actions. I hated that way of thinking, I wanted to change it… But the only way I could was by becoming leader…”
“Maybe if you rescue your clanmates, they’ll promote you to leader,” Koray suggested.
It took him several long moments for him to realize that both his brother and his ally had fallen fast asleep, their dreams filled with humans and bloody scythes and ashes.
Ashes.
Ashes…

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Plot and Characterization Focused
Chapter Four
This is definitely a favorite chapter of mine. You did an excellent job of using descriptions to tell enough of a story about what had happened to the clan of Eevee evolutions while still leaving me with burning questions, especially when Eric noticed that it seemed as if all of the clan members had left of their own agency, possibly speaking to just how much magical or psychic power Team Reva can employ in their aims, and raising the question of why they attempted to straight up attack Eric's clan with brute force instead of attempting something similar. I digress though.

Your descriptions also came through in the battle between Eric and Rosie and the Umbreon and Sylveon siblings. The usage of weapons on the Cubone's part, the movement of Eric around the small battlefield, and Sylveon's ribbons were all high points, but I was most impressed with your description of Confuse Ray as an attack. It felt very real to me and I had to blink a few times myself after reading your description. My one suggestion for the battle would be that not everything needs to be referred to as an official Pokemon attack. Things like Confuse Ray and Toxic are specific enough that they may deserve names, but I felt like the action of knocking Eric's scythes out from under him could have easily just been described without naming it as a Foul Play attack. Remember, outside of the games, these are living, breathing creatures, capable of fighting with just their physical bodies instead of having to rely on named attacks. Just about any Pokemon can tackle an opponent even if it can't learn Tackle, you know?

Overall, the idea of a mix-up leading to a fight is a classic and I enjoyed how you handled it. I especially sympathized with Eric's frustration and constant sighs and I felt like that added a much-needed bit of humor to what could have easily been our hero being unnecessarily beat up on in a brutal fashion. But your descriptive talents saved the day, not only with the actions of the battles but of the emotions of the players in the conflict, from the brothers' eagerness at avenging their clan to Rosie's overprotectiveness.

Chapter Five
This was a very nice denouement to the previous chapter and the first line was perfect as it defintiely captured my feelings as a reader. You did a really good job of getting information across in dialogue again. We get a wonderful view of just how mismatched this fight between Reva and the Phoenix League is going to be without some serious work put in. You're doing a good job of balancing a growing roster of characters too, as I can tell when different characters are speaking just by what they say and how they say it. I definitely enjoyed Chapter Four's action, but this chapter also has some real strengths at building character and fleshing out the story's barer bones.

Chapter Six
Again, you have a real talent for description. I know it might seem like I keep hammering on this point, but it's really true. It's evident how much thought you've put into your story that you create a concrete way for the different attacking styles of Gadzooks, Koray, Eric, and even the more experienced Raider to reflect their personalities in a unique way. The feedback that is given by Raider is definitely my favorite part of this work so far, and this chapter is definitely my favorite of the bunch so far. The level of connectivity that I felt with these characters and the enjoyment that I felt reading (although it felt more like watching) three incredible battles makes me feel that the label of "filler" is wholly misplaced for the quality writing that this chapter represents to me.

Chapter Seven
This chapter was nice, that seems to be the best way to describe the way that Eric ends up telling a bedtime story to the brothers. Although, legend would prove a more fitting term I think. In this little glimpse, we get views not only of the direct information conveyed about the two clans, but we also get to infer things, like how the Muli Clan was incredibly diverse and traded extensively with neighboring clans, perhaps making them more susceptible to a Reva attack by virtue of their peacefulness whereas Eric's clan appears to have been vulnerable because no one liked them enough to help them, and I am assuming their pride would refuse such an offer, if trouble should come

What I enjoyed the most, however, was the two different versions of the legend told by Eric and recounted by the brothers. Like all legends, I have no doubt that there is an element of truth to it, but I found it much more interesting to examine it as a myth and the role that the myth would play in reinforcing the traditional behaviors and hierarchies of the two clans. With the Muli Clan, the idea that empathy rather than violence is what halted the human advance and drove them out of Utopia serves to reinforce the idea that its members should be peaceful, connected with others, and trust that similar deus ex machina occurrences might save them if trouble came again. With Eric's version of the story however, there appears to be the sense that acting quickly and decisively with overwhelming force is what drove the humans out and that served to propagate the ideals of action over thought that Eric detests so much. In this way, you engaged not only in an entertaining story, but you also painted the clans' cultures with a much fuller brush than I was expecting. I am definitely looking forward to reading more.

Spelling and Grammar Focused
Chapter Four

Thanks to speed of Eric and Ren’s wings, they managed to make it to where Rosie supposedly was within a day.
I believe that should be "Thanks to the speed" instead of "Thanks to speed".


A mish-mash of different kinds of dens, from squarish, squat ice-houses to leafy huts similar to Raider’s, stoney caverns converted into sleeping areas, and even simple shallow dips in the ground used as a nest for sleeping under the stars. Ashpits and small ponds, so much diversity that Eric had never experienced before.
"stoney" should be "stony", and I would write "Ashpits" as "Ash pits". I would also consider combining these two sentences, since the latter appears to be part of the same list of dens.


Eric realized that this must have been the Clan that the two Eeveeloutions had lived in.
I think I missed this earlier, but the common spelling is "Eeveelution" (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Eeveelution) rather than "Eeveeloution", but you seem to be keeping the spelling consistent thus far and it is a proper noun so I leave the discretion to change it to you, as long as you maintain that consistency.


The Sylveon, on the other hand, was wearing what appeared to be a beret, and a comedically oversized bag on his back secured to his body with multiple straps.
I believe that the word you're looking for is "comically" rather than "comedically".


Ignoring the two children staring at him quizically, Eric bent down towards his sheathes.
"quizically" should be spelled "quizzically".


“Aunty Rosie!” bother Eon children yelled gleefully.
I believe that you mean "both" rather than "bother" here.


“This is just a misunderstanding,” Eric replied right away. “I’m a newly recruited member of the Phoenix Guild, my name is Eric, I was sent here to give you a hand with escorting the chil--”[quote]
Is it intentional that Eric says "Phoenix Guild" instead of "Phoenix League"? If so, I'd consider emphasizing the mix-up more.

[quote]He didn’t want to hurt the kids, or his teammember.
Here, "teammember" should be written as two words.


Eric screamed. His vision filled with painful strobing lights flashing unpredictably on and off, switching colors and intensity and whim.
I'm not sure that "whim" is the word you mean to use here.
Chapter Five

“Rosie you psychotic dingzubat, you did WHAT to our new recruit!?”
Not sure if "dingzubat" should have a capitalized "z" to make it fit in with the other Pokemon species names that you've been using thus far.
Chapter Six

Before he realized what was happening, Eric inhaled the Stun Spore, and felt its’ numbing effects grip his limbs immediately.
Again, "its'" should lose the apostrophe.


First of all, you charged me before you had even fully concieved a strategy.
"concieved" should be spelled as "conceived".


When I believe you are each strong enough, we will try this excercise again.
"excercise" should be "exercise" here.
Chapter Seven

But the only way I could was becoming leader…”
Personally, "was by becoming leader" rather than "was becoming leader" sounds better to my ears, but either one works I think.

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 8

“Oi! You three! Wake up, it’s morning! Last I checked, you weren’t Slakoths, so get up!”
The three Pokemon remained prone on their hammocks, peacefully sleeping the day away.
The Cubone standing in the doorway huffed, then hurled three bone knitting needles at them. “WAKE UP!”
Three loud yells were followed by three loud thumps.
Rosie snorted. “Just be thankful that Shaymin didn’t have to wake you. You don’t even want to know what she does.”
With that Rosie left, leaving the three disgruntled Pokemon to hastily put on their chosen outfits and rush outside to the gardens of Vibrant Meadow.
Soon, the trio saw a familiar Roserade striding over to them. “Koray,” Raider pronounced. “I believe we have a training session today? Eric, Gadzooks, I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the compounds.”
As Raider and Koray left, Eric and Gadzooks began to brainstorm different areas of Vibrant Meadow they could explore.
“I hear there’s a residential area separate from the dorms where the Phoenix League sleeps,” Gadzooks said. “Let’s go there!”
After much wandering about, and somehow stumbling into the garbage dump two different times, the two new recruits found the residential area of Vibrant Meadows.
It was not what they expected at all.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJLc6J4Uz-M) While the buildings appeared very high tech, almost something that humans would build, there were very of them, and Pokemon seemed few and far between. Yes, they occasionally caught a glimpse of some. Through the window of of house, Eric spotted a Metagross discussing something with a Beheeyem. In the front lawn of another a Lucario was meditating, her eyes closed.
It was strange to see a place that looked so advanced also look so deserted.
“There aren’t any kids here,” Gadzooks whispered to Eric. The Sylveon seemed thoroughly creeped out by this fact.
Eric looked down at the little Sylveon, and decided to go find some other place to cheer him up.
They ended up going to the kitchens. A Scolipede and a Smoochum were busy cooking in there.
In his slightly creeped out state, Gadzooks immediately turned around and started walking away the moment he saw the Scolipede. However, after a little convincing from Eric, the Sylveon was convinced to just wait outside while Eric got something the Scolipede hadn’t touched.
Several minutes later, Eric came out with something resembling a slushy snowball, kept inside a cup made of ice, held precariously by Eric’s blades. A good fourth of it had melted and was trickling down the cup already.
Eric told Gadzooks that the icy snack was a ‘berry sorbet,’ made entirely by the Smoochum. Gadzooks cautiously tried it, before gulping it down and heading back into the kitchens to ask the Smoochum for more.
Eric decided to take a short walk around the residential area. The lack of children was still somewhat unsettling, but there was also something about this place that he simply couldn’t describe. A… calmness in the air. A lack of stress, of tension. A space bereft of energy, but in a good way.
Eric headed back towards the kitchens just as Gadzooks was finishing off what appeared to be his third berry sorbet. A rather angry Scolipede was awaiting Eric.
Apparently, the sorbets did, indeed, actually cost money. However, Eric did not have any on him and Gadzooks had left his all at home. Eric promised to deliver to the Scolipede the amount of berries all those sorbets had needed to make.
The rest of the afternoon, Eric and Gadzooks spent roaming about the town. There really wasn’t much to look at, really, but it was quite relaxing. Until Gadzooks started getting bored.
Then the Sylveon proposed a game: try to figure out just how many Pokemon lived in the residential area.
And so they started dashing about the small town, breathing a little bit of life into it.
Until they started peeking into the windows of Pokemon inside the houses.
Eric was a bit reluctant about this, as he believed it to be rude. Gadzooks didn’t want his game to end so soon, however, and so pestered Eric until the Scyther finally complied and looked into the window of the first house.
What he saw shocked him.
His heart beat increased and his breathing intensified. He felt a sickening turn in the pit of his stomach.
He knew this Pokemon.
It was a Scyther.
It was one of the Pokemon he had grown up with, in the Rahzyne Clan. Sure, he had been already considered an adult when Eric was hatched, and they had very rarely socialized, but Eric knew him nonetheless.
He had… a friend. Something familiar in this new world.
He ran towards the doorway of the house and began banging on the door frantically with his scythes.
When the door swung open, Eric smiled. “Goker!”

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 9

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnrmhdFsKU) The other Scyther’s face twisted slightly, a light of recognition entering their eyes.
“Eric? You actually got out of that bloodbath?” Goker snorted. “Hmph. I figured you’d been captured with Arkon. After all, you’re so much weaker than he is.”
Eric came out of his reverie with a start. “Goker? I was never weak. I simply tried to come up with a strategy before rushing into a fight.”
“And then you were knocked out by an Aerial Ace or Wing Attack in the first few seconds,” Goker replied haughtily.
Eric frowned at the other Scyther. “How do you like Vibrant Meadow?” Eric asked, trying to change the topic.
Goker gestured flippantly with a scythe. “This place? Feh. The Pokemon here are soft, from too much peace. War is healthy, it strengthens Pokemon, but these? Pathetic.”
Eric narrowed his eyes. “You don’t find this place beautiful? Pokemon of all species coming together to make a paradise… A true Utopia… While our own Clan never did anything but fight, fight so much the horror of blood was dulled and--”
“Stop waxing poetry, sentimental fool!” Goker hissed. “I’m twice your age, I watched you grow up. You always were squeamish about fighting!”
“Not squeamish, I fought when I had to,” Eric replied.
Goker laughed at that statement. “Ha! Scyther are born to fight! What else would we do with these lovely scythes? We cannot build, we cannot heal, we can only destroy. And once you embrace that fact, Eric, you’ll find your strength improving a hundredfold. You want to play Psychic type? Fine, but in the end, it will get you killed, mark my words.”
Eric stared at Goker, shocked that the other Scyther would say such things. Then he turned around and, wings buzzing, flew away.


(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2rZ4W1SZvY) Eric wasn’t sure how long he had been flying when he came to his senses again. He was going to get lost in a strange place if he did not land. So he did.
He soon realized he was back in Vibrant Meadow’s gardens, and not alone. Sitting nearby, eyes closed, was Kai.
Not knowing what else to do, Eric sat down next to her.
For several minutes there was silence as the wind slowly waved the myriad flowers back and forth. Then Kai opened her eyes, turned to Eric, and smiled. “It really is like they say, like a Utopia, isn’t it?”
Eric nodded, sullenly. Immediately noticing something was wrong, Kai frowned. “What happened?”
Eric would have put his head in his sheathed scythes, and sighed. “I… ran into one of my old Clanmates,” he explained. “Back in the Rahzyne Clan, we more or less had one belief, and one only. Our scythes were best for battling, but made us terrible at trying other things. Scyther from our clan believe that because of this, Mew decided when Scyther were created that Scyther were made for battling. My Clan embraces this belief, but in the process… They lost things. They lost the idea of strategy, or strength through teamwork. They began to gain strange ideas about what qualifies you as ‘strong’ and what as ‘weak’.” He paused. “I wanted to make it so that our definition of strength is redefined. So that they would see that strength of mind is just the same as strength of body… But no one would listen, due to the same foolish laws I wished to change.”
Eric leaned back on the soft grass, staring at the azure skies. “I had a friend, Arkon… He was more or less the only friend I had. He was as kind to me as he could be while still embracing the Clan’s ideals. He tried to change me so I could conform more easily to the Clan. While I dislike that, I appreciate how he tried to ease my pain… When they were kidnapped, it was his loss I felt the most. I care for my Clan, because they were all I knew, and I didn’t know how I could go on without a certain familiarity… But after my confrontation with Goker, I realize I only miss Arkon.”
Eric raised up his sheathed scythes, pointing them towards the sky and studying them. “Goker also said… My former clanmate told me… He said I was trying to be something other than a Scyther, and that it would only end in death for me if I continued to do so. I’m not trying to be something other than a Scyther… I am what I am. And what I am is just… a different Scyther. But this difference… How different Vibrant Meadows is from the Rahzyne Clan relieves me and scares me. It assures me there is hope for the Rahzyne Clan if we rescue them, if we can teach them to live like this… But if they react like Goker did to it… I’m terrified they might attempt to destroy this beautiful, different place.”
Kai simply looked at Eric for a moment, then gently took his sheathe, scythe still inside it, in her hand.
“I’ve had experiences with difference,” Kai murmured softly. “When I was young, I lived with my mother and her trainer. My mother taught me how to live in a world where humans took care of everything you wanted, and all they asked for in return was to help them out in battles and contests… But when my mother and I were released, my mother couldnt cope with either the grief, or our new life. She couldn’t cope with such traumatic change… And it killed her.” Kai’s eyes misted up for a few moments, before she blinked away the tears.
“I was younger, and more flexible, though,” Kai continued. “I found a way to come here, to Utopia. It amazed me how Pokemon could live here, on their own, without help from humans. But I learned quickly, made a life in Vibrant Meadows, and when the Phoenix League was formed I joined. I wanted to thank them for how they opened my eyes, and made my change in lives so much easier…”
Kai looked towards the flowers, thinking. “I guess I’m trying to say that change can be good. So you really shouldn’t try and destroy it just because it’s change, wait and see what kind of change is first before you do something.”
Eric nodded, and smiled. “...Thank you, Kai. I… I feel a lot better now.”
They sat together, on the grass, surrounded by the beautiful scenery. It made quite an adorable picture, before Eric suddenly jumped up. “Oh, crap!” he yelled.
Kai looked at him, startled. “What’s wrong?”
“When I flew away from Goker in confusion, I lost track of Gadzooks! I don’t know where he is, we have to find him quickly!” Eric flustered.

[LKWayvern]

HEY LOOK FORESHADOWING

Chapter 10

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2n4Bc6Noj4) Kai wanted to check the dormitories around the Phoenix League’s area of Vibrant Meadows first in case Gadzooks had found his way home. When the Sylveon was definitely not in there, they went back to the residential area, and looked all around. Eric didn’t spot Goker again, thankfully, but he also didn’t see Gadzooks, either.
The Scyther was panicking. He had lost a team member. They were exceedingly short on members even with Gadzooks.
And what would Shaymin do when she found out Gadzooks was lost? Eric had seen how the little Legendary had reacted when she found out Rosie and the brothers had beaten him. How much would she punish him if he had, Arceus forbid, lost a team member??
Gadzooks was not in the garbage dump, the bathrooms, the gardens, or even the Sparring Glade (Kai and Eric had briefly peeked in, not wanting to tell Raider or Koray about Eric’s mistake).
As far as Eric and Kai knew, Gadzooks wasn’t anywhere in Vibrant Meadows!
Kai decided that Gadzooks must have gone outside Vibrant Meadows, and Eric figured out the most likely place Gadzooks would have gone to was his old home, the village where Muli Clan used to live.
The Scyther and the Lopunny raided the kitchens for food, packed a bag full of suplies, and began heading towards Muli Clan, without letting any of their other Phoenix League members know.
Since Kai could not fly like Eric could, they were incapable of either taking the same route through the sky that Eric had taken before, or making as good time. However, Eric tried his best to recall the path he had taken previously, and stick as closely as possible to it, on a ground level. Occasionally he would get a look at the path from above, just to confirm that they were, indeed on the path he remembered.
Eric and Kai’s route took them mostly through sprawling forests. Although the forests started out bright and cheerful, the blue skies above barely obscured by bright green leafy branches, it slowly progressed so that the woods became darker, grimmer, and more somber.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-Va5mBhsPE) The moss lay in a thick grey carpet, dusted by fallen, rotting leaves. The trees had ghostly white bark and no leaves, and yet their branches were so thick and numerous that they wove together to form a roof above the two Phoenix League members that blotted out all light. If not for the glowing mushrooms infesting the forest, it would have been impossible to navigate the dark, decaying forest.
As the forest went on, the Pokemon went from numerous and peaceful, to progressively fewer and more aggressive. More than once, when they entered the dark forest, Eric and Kai had to fight off a rabid Parasect or feral Victorybell.
“Carnivine, on you left,” Eric warned as he slashed a Woobat with a Fury Cutter.
Kai whirled around, her paw catching fire, and she slammed her fist into the head of the slobbering, oversized venus flytrap. The monster screeched and fled.
They stopped again, sharing a meal.
“I honestly don’t understand how Gadzooks could get through this place on his own, the Pokemon here are just so… angry,” Kai commented in a hushed voice.
Eric shrugged. “Maybe Rosie took him in a longer, but less dangerous route, which he’s following now. Or maybe he’s just really lucky.”
The duo continued through the forest. The trees began to slowly make the path become narrower, and narrower. They were growing so close together they were practically on top of them. It would be impossible to get past them.
The wild Pokemon had vanished, as well, and yet Eric and Kai still felt that something tainted, something unholy, was watching them with lustful, hungry eyes.
Kai shivered, and walked closer to Eric, practically leaning on him.
“These trees… are getting pretty close, huh? The path is getting really really narrow…” Kai said, almost laughing.
The Lopunny was shivering.
So was Eric.
Suddenly, the tree wall widened, creating a perfect circle around a perfectly clear lake. The lake was so clear you could see the bottom, despite it being extremely deep, and so still Eric and Kai could see their reflections in the lake in exquisite detail.
Eric frowned. He could see something at the bottom of the lake… What was that thing?
It was round, he knew, and small… It cast up glints of light from the bottom of the lake, but he still could not see what it was, it was simply too far away…
As Eric leaned closer to the water to get a better glimpse at the object, a telepathic voice resounded within his mind, almost making him fall into the crystal clear lake.
...I…
I am the Guardian of Vault Lake, and Armageddon Forest…
You shall not retrieve the Void Ball, intruders…
Eric backed away from the lake, while Kai looked about wildly.
“W-we mean you know harm!” Kai shouted out. “We’re… We’re just travelers, looking for a friend we lost! We’ve never even heard of Vault Lake, or the Void Ball before… We would like to get out as fast as possible, but we’re lost…”
...Truly? Where is your destination, travelers?
“Th-the former location of Muli Clan Village.”
Former? I… I had not heard of its’ destruction. I was acquainted with some members of the Muli Clan, but they have long since passed on…
I have been the Guardian of this accursed Void Ball for far too long, but it is too dangerous to let fall into the wrong hands…
...Very well. I see no harm in ushering you to your destination, so long as it takes you out of this forest.
Best of luck, and do not return.
And then all went black for Kai and Eric.

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 11

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yACEy0ZPcAg) When Kai and Eric came to, Eric recognized where they were.
“This is where the Muli Clan’s Village used to be…” he said. “The Guardian really did keep their promise and send us here…”
The Scyther and Lopunny searched through the abandoned village, searching for any sign of their comrade, but they were running out of hope, until Kai found something…
“Hey, Eric!” Kai called him over. The Scyther walked towards her, and took a look at the item.
It was a piece of glinting blue fur, snagged onto a doorway.
Tentatively, Eric pushed the door open, and walked into the den inside.
It was a rather simple den. There were pawprints leading outside the door, as in all the houses, but unlike the others a layer of dust had been swept off most of the belongings.
The den was made of metal, with a long lightning rod coming down through the roof, planted firmly in the center of the den. Around the lightning rod was a small metal nest. Further away were several other nests. Connected to the lightning rod were multiple crudely made wires leading to primitive light bulbs and electrical appliances, showcasing to Eric just how advanced some of the homes of the Muli Clan were.
Kai entered the building and looked around. “...Koray told me once that his mother was a Jolteon, and his father was an Espeon. Their father friends with a Metagross who came up with the design for those things and his mother used her electricity, and together they managed to provide light and convenience to not just their own Clan, but many of their trading partners as well,” Kai commented. “I guess this was their den… And that nest right there, next to the lightning-rod, was the nest Koray and Gadzooks’ mother slept in. Jolteon get stronger when they absorb electricity, so it makes sense…” The rabbit Pokemon smiled. “I like that. They took their love and their gifts, and made something great for a lot of Pokemon. The Muli Clan will be missed dearly, but every cloud has a silver lining, right? Maybe their disappearance will inspire more Pokemon to join us…”
“...Let’s rest here for the night. The nests are more the size for an Eeveeloution, but the den will provide adequate shelter.”
That morning, when they woke up, the two began to travel again. On a hunch they followed the trail of pawprints leading out of the village. Eric was now certain he knew just what Gadzooks was trying to do.
He turned to Kai, and spoke up.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V6DxFOTULo) “Kai, I think that Gadzooks is trying to find Team Reva’s base, and rescue the Rahzyne and Muli Clans, or at least avenge them,” Eric told her.
“What is he thinking!? That’s suicide!” Kai exclaimed. “Uh, Eric, with your wings you’re faster than I am! Fly on ahead and try to stop him, I’ll Mega Evolve and follow!”
Kai took Eric’s scythe in one paw, and touched it to the Keystone in her ear. It began to shine with a brilliant violet light, and the light traveled up the gold chain and connect the Keystone with her Lopunnite, causing the Mega Stone to glow in response.
The light radiated outwards from the two shining stones, covering Kai with a cocoon of pure white light. It stayed like that for a moment, before the cocoon shattered into a million fragments which rapidly dissolved. For a split second a mirage glowed in the air above Kai, as she stood, now a Mega Lopunny.
Her legs were more well muscled and pronounced, covered with patterns of black fur similar to the tights humans sometimes wore. Her torso was small and lithe, with shapes of muscles outlined in her brown furred arms. Her ears dangled down her back like trailing ribbons, on each one there were two cream bunches of fur like the Ponyta tail holders humans sometime used. Her tiara was still there, perched upon a puff of x-shaped fur, with its golden chains, but the chains now flowed freely.
“What are you looking at?” Kai asked. “Fly!”
Eric turned around, wings buzzing loudly, and launched himself into the winds.
Fortunately for him, his wings were fast and Gadzooks was not very far away. He found the shining blue Sylveon steadily approaching a large building.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oKup7A7zks) The building was huge, and intimidating. It looked like patchwork, like a hundred small buildings nothing like each other had been smashed together and rebuilt as one.
Eric landed behind the Sylveon.
“Gadzooks.”
The Fairy type didn’t turn around.
“You can’t do this.”
“It’s not a matter of not being able to… It’s a matter of how I’ll feel if I don’t.”
“I know how you feel… But if you rush in their and get yourself killed, your sacrifice will be for nothing,” Eric told him. “We need to be careful, we need to use our minds.”
“You don’t know what it feels like!” Gadzooks yelled, still not turning to meet Eric’s eyes.
“Yes, I do. I lost my Clan, just like you,” Eric reminded him.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IPdkNyP9Lk) “No!” Gadzooks snapped, whirling around. “No, you don’t know, Eric! I heard your conversation with your friend, Goker! I saw how he disrespected you, and how he called you an outcast! I like you, Eric. I like you as a friend. I look up to you, and I respect you. But your Clan? If the rest of them are like Goker, then they can go rot in Team Reva’s base for all eternity, for all I care! They’re heartless bastards, the lot of them! You don’t understand how I feel because my Clan is not the Rahzyne Clan! My Clan is the Muli Clan, and I know for a fact that other Clans will miss them and be sad because they vanished! They probably rejoiced when the Rahzyne Clan vanished, because of what bastards they are! So no, Eric, you don’t understand me, and you don’t know why I have to do this! It’s because if I never try to help my Clan, I’ll go through life knowing I could’ve done something to help a group of beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate Pokemon, who were my friends and family, but I waited too late and now I never can!”
Gadzooks whirled back around, tears starting to drop from his eyes, as he raced faster towards the building.
“Gadzooks!” Eric called. “Wait! Wait just--”
A brown blur rushed past Eric, kicking up dust and wind. It somersaulted over Gadzooks and landed directly in front of him.
The Fairy type flinched, stopping completely and tumbling to the ground in a heap of matted blue fur and dirty dull ribbons.
That didn’t stop Gadzooks, though. Despite being made to flinch, he stood up and began running past Kai again. The Mega Lopunny’s legs moved swiftly, and knocked Gadzooks to the ground again.
Gadzooks stood up once more. “Let me GO!” he shrieked, lashing out his ribbons like whips at Kai. Kai leaped nimbly over them, before grabbing them and using them to pull Gadzooks closer. She held him tightly in her arms as he kicked and bit and whipped and yelled. When he had tired himself out, and fallen into a fitful sleep, a soft glow enveloped them as she let the Mega Evolution go.
“Let’s go home…” she whispered softly, not wanting to wake Gadzooks again.

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 12

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guMHiwGHVH0) Unbeknownst to the departing members of the Phoenix League, a Pokemon exited the base of Team Reva behind them.
It didn’t notice them, however it did head in a very certain direction…
The direction of the entrance of Armageddon Forest. It crossed from the bright viridian woods to the dark, grimmer section, on the lookout for foes wishing to attack her.
None did, but she couldn’t help feeling that and alien intelligence’s prideful eyes were locked onto her every movement, carefully observing her.
When the Pokemon reached Vault Lake, she moved towards the center of the lake, hovering over the exact middle as she stared down at the Void Ball, locked away in the very bottom of the lake.
...I am the Guardian of Vault Lake and Armageddon Forest…
Why have you come here, Latias?
The Latias looked up, searching for where the voice had emanated from.
“Well, there’s something down there that I really, really need…” she called out. “Would you please let me get it?”
Your heart is pure… But your intentions…
Your intentions…
Y-y-your i-intentions…
Suddenly seven glowing orbs shot out from the trees, hovering in a circle around the lake, equidistant from each other. One of them, directly across from the Latias, slowly descended and touched the ground. There was a soft glow of light as it transformed into… a Dunsparce.
The Dunsparce wiggled forwards, and looked up towards the Latias with its’ squinting eyes.
You know not what you do, it said in a warning voice. If you do not leave now, you SHALL regret it. That was not a threat, that was a prediction.
A strange glint came into the Latias’ eye, and a cocky grin spread across her face. “We’ll see about that.”
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RJnCi2yldc) The Latias raised her arms, and a soft golden glow came about her. Mist gathered around her arms, flowing freely like golden flags. The Soul Dew in a collar around her neck gleamed, and was surrounded by the mist as it formed a strange pattern around the orb. Something reminiscent of a tiara made of mist was created around the Latias’ head. Two ribbon-like strands came off of the tiara, joining together again between her two wings, and then coming apart again in two bigger ribbons. Around the larger part of the Latias’ wings formed two sleeve-like sheathes of golden mist, which trailed behind her.
In front of the Dunsparce formed a ball shining in incandescent colors of the rainbow. The ball flew at the Latias, and she flew upwards towards the dome of woven branches. She used Dive to inhale deeply, filling her lungs with more air than would be average for a Latias, before plunging back down towards Vault Lake, causing a tremendous splash.
The water was heavier than it would have been for a normal lake, but it was no problem for a Legendary Pokemon. The Latias quickly located her quarry, the Void Ball. She dove deeper, deeper, deeper down towards it, then grabbed it. She hurried up towards the surface, sensing her air supply running out.
She exploded out from the water, showering the Dunsparce and the orbs of light with water. She grinned wickedly as them, winked, and then formed two Mist Balls, hovering above her outstretched paw , orbiting each other until one shot out at the Dunsparce, causing an explosion of golden mist right in front of him. The other rocketed towards the roof, exploding with enough force to cause a hole just large enough for a Latias to pass through to be created.
The Latias rose rapidly, waving happily at the Dunsparce and the orbs of light.
Once she was free of Armageddon Forest, she gripped the Void Ball tightly, shook her fur free of the water from Vault Lake, tucked in her arms, and shot off, using Extreme Speed to hasten her journey back towards Team Reva’s base.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3qm2tTD_oQ) Rising from the mist and zooming after the Latias came a Togekiss. The Togekiss used Extreme Speed to catch up with the Latias, and the two were soon neck-and-neck.
The Togekiss charged up a sphere, similar to the one the Dunsparce had created.
Do not do this, Latias. It will only lead to destruction, the Togekiss called, almost seeming reluctant to fire her orb.
“I know~,” the Latias chirped back. “But, you know what they say, all good things must come to an end, right?”
There is still hope for Ecana, deep down you know it!
“Do I? How long have you guys been locked up in Armageddon Forest? There’s so much stuff you’ve missed out on! Humans are capturing Legendaries, and tipping the balance of the Councilverse way off the deep end, and trainers are abusing their Pokemon!”
There’s still hope. There’s always hope. You just haven’t looked hard enough. It could always be better, yes, but it can also always be much, much worse!
One of the Latias’ mist-clad wings gained a silvery glean somewhere beneath the gold. The Latias frowned. “I’m sorry. I really am. But some things… Just have to be done.”
The Latias did a spin, nailing the Togekiss with her Steel Wing, before putting on another burst of speed and flying off…

The Togekiss returned to Vault Lake. She alighted roughly in front of the Dunsparce. The other orbs of light had also been replaced by Pokemon. Nidoqueen, Gallade, Blissey, Reuniclus, Arcanine.
I-i failed. She got away with the Void Ball… the Togekiss muttered.
Dunsparce looked at her, regretfully. You did the best that you could… He looked up, towards the hole in the roof of branches. However, there is a silver lining… We no longer are forced to remain in this place to keep safe the Void Ball. We can leave this wretched forest… To retrieve and defend it as we see fit.
The seven Pokemon transformed into orbs of light once more, flying out through the hole, and into the endless sky, which none of them had seen enough of in the last millenia…

Unknown to them, however, seven more entities left the forest as well. Their keepers were gone, and they were at last free once more for the first time in eons.
They intended to make the most of this unexpected delight the Latias had brought them.

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Plot and Characterization Focused
Chapter Eight

This chapter was kind of an odd one for me. I was under the impression that the Phoenix League was located in the middle of nowhere, and that all of the Utopia region was incredibly rural, and segregated by species. Yet Eric and Gadzooks found themself in what essentially seemed to be a human town only filled with Pokemon instead of people. It was very disconcerting to see how much things from the language to the occupations simply seemed to mirror the human society that caused the Utopia region so much suffering. I mean, hot dogs aren't usually a sign of social decline, but here I think they just might be.

I think that this chapter also destroyed my image of the Phoenix League as a secret rebel group attacking Team Reva from the shadows. Sure, maybe this is just the one town that is in Phoenix League territory, but that even a hotdog hawker could recognize Eric and Gadzooks as being part of the Phoenix League made me feel very disappointed with how open and mundane the reality was compared to the mystery that I had imagined in my head.

Finally, the twist at the end seemed a little forced. I was expecting this Pokemon to be something important because it was the first time that you opened with something other than the species name. You've demonstrated a talent for description, so I would say use it, not only to make your descriptions of Delibird, and Cloyster, and such more exciting, but also to add an extra wallop to when you want to try to catch the reader off-guard.

Chapter Nine
This was a very nice chapter. I felt like it had a more restrained ambition than the previous one and it certainly achieved its goal of character development, particularly by developing a deeper backstory and rationale to Eric's actions and introducing some conflict by making him wonder if it is possible to save his Clan from the path that they're on at all. What I enjoyed most is that you did all of this in a very restrained setting, first the conflict on the street, but then the meadow, and in both scenes the focus was just on two Pokemon talking, not in order to give us, the reader information, but rather because these were things that just needed to be said. You've really done a superb job of giving your characters things to care about and realistic ways of trying to advance those goals.

Chapter Ten
I'm still very fuzzy on the geography of Utopia, but it was nice to see a travel scene, especially as the stakes with Gadzooks disappearance seem to be rising. I think it would be somewhat funny if he had just gone back to get another hotdog, but apparently he really booked it back to his village. I just wish I knew how far away that was. I really liked the menace and danger of the forest, and not just because Bellsprout is my favorite Pokemon. It was such a nice contrast to the suburban perfectness of the town Eric had visited in Chapter Eight because it felt like anything could happen there. I'm not going to say that they should spend more time in this creepy, evil forest for two reasons. One is that I guess Gadzooks has to be found and fast. Two is that with this Void Ball and mysterious Lake Guardian (I've got my fingers crossed for Azelf) they'll be back soon enough heheheh.

Overall great work at picking up the pace of things after the slower past few chapters. You've made me actually care about Eric and his teammates, so that's always a plus.

Chapter Eleven
This chapter kind of threw me through a loop not once but twice. First, I'm wondering where these Pokemon got the materials, engineering ability, and knowledge of electricity's scientific properties to create light bulbs. These aren't exactly something I can imagine Pokemon crafting with their paws and it really made me lose the suspension of disbelief that helped me focus on the what and why of what's happening than the how. Then, Kai decided to Mega Evolve. Now I may have an incredibly negative and incomplete view of the Kalos region, but from how far I got in Y Version, I thought that Mega Evolution was something that could only be achieved with a strong bond between Pokemon and Trainer, hence why Groudon and Kyogre had to be able to "Primal Reverse" or whatever because they didn't have trainers. How does a wild Pokemon like Kai invoke a Mega Evolution? Is it because she used to have a trainer? But that doesn't make sense because the bond is the important thing, so who is her bond with, herself?

Ahem, that being said, I loved Gadzooks's speech to Eric. It was incredibly powerful and a very good counter to his whole argument. It made the encounter between the two Scyther in town matter more in retrospect as well. I think that Gadzooks has become my favorite character solely by virtue of that outburst and the courage (or recklessness haha) that he shows by running headlong to Team Reva to avenge his Clan. My only regret is that Kai's appearance calmed him down. I would have liked to see a little exchange of blows, maybe fixed through the usage of Attract or Cute Charm. But instead Gadzooks just stopped when she arrived. If Eric doesn't know how it feels, how on earth would Kai? I found it hard to believe that Kai would have any ability to stop him (again short of Cute Charm which she doesn't possess in her mega form) since the Sylveon had known Eric longer too.

Chapter Twelve
Mysteries abound! I was prepared for a clear-cut battle between good and evil, but this Latias not only seems like a fun individual, but also seems to have a plan much more engaging and interesting than taking over Utopia and being a jerk. If I had to guess, I would assume that she's working to unite and build up Utopia's power in order to destroy humans and free those other legendary Pokemon. If that's the case, I have a hard time seeing how the Phoenix League is going to stop her since every Pokemon in Utopia seems to remember when humans invaded and acted generally awful. I have so many questions, from what exactly the Vault Ball is, to who were these fourteen things that left the forest, to why on earth would you try to fight a Latias with a Dunsparce, but no matter. I'm sure you'll answer them in time. Keep up the good work.


Spelling and Grammar Focused
Chapter Eight

“Last I checked, you were not Slakoths, so get up!”
I think that a contraction in this sentence would make it sound more natural than the current, stilted version I hear when I'm saying it aloud. Plus, the more informal language might fit better with Rosie's speech patterns, i.e. the "Oi", and general personality.


The Cubone standing in the doorway huffed, then hurled three bone knitting needles at them “WAKE UP!”
There should be a period after "at them" since there is no leading-in word for the speech that follows.


It was almost exactly like a Clan of its’ own.
Again, there should be no apostrophe after "its". The word denotes possession without an apostrophe.


There were buildings of varying advancement, some of them shiny and made of metal with glass windows and door like a human house, others were simple lean-tos piggybacking off of larger constructs.
That should be "and a door" or "and doors" instead of "and door" here.

[qupte]A Wobbufett tottered by, pulling a small cart that trundled along behind it, selling… hot dogs?[/quote]
"Wobbufett" should be spelled as "Wobbuffet" here and elsewhere.


“Get out of my way, you pile of Tauros crap!” the Pokemon screeched, brandishing intimidating looking claws.
Claws or scythes? If this is a Scyther, I would assume he would have the latter rather than the former.
Chapter Nine

“Not squeamish, I did fighting when I had to,” Eric replied.
I think that "I did fight" or "I fought" sounds better than "I did fighting" here.


He was as kind to me as he could while still embracing the Clan’s ideals.
I would add "be" after "kind to me as he could".
Chapter Ten

Kai wanted to check the dormitories around the Phoenix League’s area of Vibrant Meadows first, in case Gadzooks had found his way home.
I don't think this comma is necessary here.


Gadzooks was not in the garbage dump, the bathrooms, the gardens, or even the Sparring Glade(Kai and Eric had briefly peeked in, not wanting to tell Raider or Koray about Eric’s mistake).
There should be a space before that first parentheses.


“I honestly don’t understand how Gadzooks could get through this place on his home, the Pokemon here are just so… Angry,” Kai commented in a hushed voice.
First, I think "on his home" should be "on his own", then I think the "A" in "Anger" does not need to be capitalized.


The trees began to slowly make the path become narrower, and narrower. They were growing so close together they were practically on top of them. It would be practically impossible to get past them.
I would drop the second "practically" since it makes for repetition and seems unnecessary here.


“These trees… Are getting pretty close, huh?
Again, I would make the "A" in "Are" lowercase since it's a continuation of the earlier thought.
Chapter Eleven

The den was made of metal, with a long lightningrod coming down through the roof, planted firmly in the center of the den. Around the lightning-rod was a small metal nest. Further away were several other nests. Connected to the lightningrod were mutiple crudely made wires leading to primitive lightbulbs and electrical appliances, showcasing to Eric just how advanced some of the homes of the Muli Clan were.
"lightningrod" and "lightbulb" should each be written as two words, then "mutiple" should be "multiple".



Her ears dangled down her back like trailing ribbons, on each one there were two cream bunches of fur like the ponyta tail holders humans sometime used.
"ponyta" should be capitalized.


Her tiara was still there, perched upon a puff of x-shaped fur, with its’ golden chains, but the chains now flowed freely.
Again, "its'" should be "its".
Chapter Twelve

There was a soft glow of light as it transformed… Into a Dunsparce.
The "I" in "Into" should be lowercase.


Around the larger part of the Latias’ wings formed two sleevelik sheathes of golden mist, which trailed behind her.
"sleevelik" should be "sleeve-like".


In front of the Dunsparce formed a ball shining in incandescent colors of the ranibow.
"ranibow" should be "rainbow".


The other rocketed towards the roof, exploding with enough force to cause a hole just large enough for a Latias to pass through to be created.
Roof? I thought they were in a forest? Perhaps "canopy" would be a better word.


Once she was free of Armageddon Forest, she gripped the Void Ball tightly, shook her fur free of the water from Vault Lake, tucked in her arms, and shot off, using ExtremeSpeed to hasten her journey back towards Team Reva’s base.
"ExtremeSpeed" should be written as "Extreme Speed" both here and in the next paragraph.


Humans are capturing Legendaries, and tipping the balance of the Counvilcerse way off the deep end, and trainers are abusing their Pokemon!”
I have no idea what a "Counvilcerse" is supposed to be. Like a "Councilverse", maybe? But I don't know what that means either.


I-i failed. She got away with the Void Ball… the Togekiss muttered.
Here, and elsewhere in the chapter, if these Pokemon are speaking out loud they need quotes. Telepathy generally does not require them in fanfiction, but verbs like "muttered" imply the words are being spoken aloud.

[LKWayvern]

Phantasm.Angel

Sorry about the thing with the residential district... It mad a bit more sense to me at the time. I was trying to make something similar to the Gold Base in PMD: Silver Resistance, I guess it really flopped... Really, the only reason it was there was because I needed somewhere nearby for Goker to be living, that wasn't the Phoenix League, and the best idea I got was that sometimes some Pokemon from clans that failed ended up finding their way to Vibrant Meadows, and ended up making a little Utopia there?
Also, I wanted some actual filler before that arc with Gadzooks getting lost, and relaxing in the town seemed like a semi-good idea...
Now I wish I had put a little more thought into that idea...
The hot dog vendor was more or less purely for comedy. I tried, I thought it was semi-funny.

I'm happy that you enjoyed chapter 9 a lot more than you did chapter 10. ^^ I really wanted to put a scene in there that has Kai and Eric bonding not because one of them is affected by Cute Charm, but because they were honestly connecting as friends. I also wanted to explore the feeling Eric had about his tribe a bit more in depth, when left with how he felt in chapter 2, I thought it made him seem a little bit Sue-ish...

Also glad you like chapter 10! To be honest, I've got a very, very vague idea of where everything is in Utopia, myself... I know VIbrant Meadows is at the general center of it, the Muli Clan is somewhere South of it, and the Team Reva base is somewhere in the Southeast, but that's more or much it...

To be honest, I think it's kind of silly that the bond has to be between a trainer and Pokemon, specifically, so when I'm writing it, how Mega Evolution and Dimensional Scream works is changed to 'activated by a strong bond between two Pokemon who feel mutual friendship towards each other'. Kai is pretty much using her feelings of friendship towards Eric, and his feelings of friendship towards her, to activate the Mega Evolution.
And Alakazam has an IQ of 5000 according to the Pokedex. Slowking is as smart as a leading scientist thanks to a Shellder biting its' head. Reuniclus has three brains, while Metagross has four and can outhink a super computer, apparently. I think coming up with a rudimentary electronic device should be a piece of cake for them, and who's to say they won't collaborate with another Clan to bring their ideas to life?
And I guess Kai just has a bit more of a calming aura than Eric? I'm not quite sure how she managed to calm Gadzooks down so quickly. A surprising amount of FtA isn't really planned at all, and is just the story happening...

I'm going to try to find some way to 'fix' the residential area. It's not as if I can just ignore its' existance now that it's a thing, but maybe I can go back and re-edit that chapter so it feels less huge...

[LKWayvern]

Okay...
I changed the ending of Chapter 11 so it made a bit more sense. I think it's a lot better now.
I'm going to do some major thinking about how I want to residential area to be different, to, in Chapter 8. Like I said previously, I can't just pretend it never happened, now that it's out there. But I can probably still work with it, and improve it.
I'll probably take out most of it, and go in an entirely different direction with the residential area.

Now, some other news. Chapter 12 was the ending of Part 1. Yay?
I'm going to go back through the whole of part 1, and try to find some music to fit certain sections, like I've been doing with the last two chapters.

[LKWayvern]

I added music to most of the fic. There were two chapters where it wasn't really necessary to add music, it really wouldn't enhance the story and I didn't know any place that music would go anyways.
I also stated previously that I have altered the ending of Chapter 10. In addition, I have COMPLETELY redone Chapter 8, except for the beginning.
I hope that Chapter 8's a lot better and more in keeping with the tone of the rest of the fic now.
I'll probably post Chapter 13 tomorrow.

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Sorry about the thing with the residential district... It mad a bit more sense to me at the time. I was trying to make something similar to the Gold Base in PMD: Silver Resistance, I guess it really flopped... Really, the only reason it was there was because I needed somewhere nearby for Goker to be living, that wasn't the Phoenix League, and the best idea I got was that sometimes some Pokemon from clans that failed ended up finding their way to Vibrant Meadows, and ended up making a little Utopia there?
Also, I wanted some actual filler before that arc with Gadzooks getting lost, and relaxing in the town seemed like a semi-good idea...
Now I wish I had put a little more thought into that idea...
The hot dog vendor was more or less purely for comedy. I tried, I thought it was semi-funny.
I probably came off a lot harder than I meant to, but it was just kind of jarring compared to what I was expecting. I haven't played any Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games since Explorers of Sky so I just had a more fractured and rural vision in mind, especially with the description of many clans and the Phoenix League's status as a small rebellion, but just because it wasn't something that I was expecting doesn't mean that its bad! Twists jolt the reader of their comfort zone, and while there is certainly some satisfaction to things turning out the way I expected, those shocks and bumps have their own power. If you want this city there and you own it, I have no doubt that you can make it feel right at home in the world that you crafted.

That being said, I really liked the changes you made, especially that the Phoenix League has found this perfect site for Pokemon to live, but still has to work on attracting the Pokemon themselves. The idea of doing a headcount of the city as a way for the duo to run into Goker also seemed less fortuitous than them simply running into him on the streets of a crowded city.


I'm happy that you enjoyed chapter 9 a lot more than you did chapter 10. ^^ I really wanted to put a scene in there that has Kai and Eric bonding not because one of them is affected by Cute Charm, but because they were honestly connecting as friends. I also wanted to explore the feeling Eric had about his tribe a bit more in depth, when left with how he felt in chapter 2, I thought it made him seem a little bit Sue-ish...
It did almost seem like Eric was a bit of a chosen one, destined to lead his clan to a brighter future, but now not only has his clan turned their back on him, but he almost seems to be ready to turn his back on them as well, which is definitely a great piece of drama that I have no doubt will make me really see Eric's future actions in a new light.


Also glad you like chapter 10! To be honest, I've got a very, very vague idea of where everything is in Utopia, myself... I know VIbrant Meadows is at the general center of it, the Muli Clan is somewhere South of it, and the Team Reva base is somewhere in the Southeast, but that's more or much it...


To be honest, I think it's kind of silly that the bond has to be between a trainer and Pokemon, specifically, so when I'm writing it, how Mega Evolution and Dimensional Scream works is changed to 'activated by a strong bond between two Pokemon who feel mutual friendship towards each other'. Kai is pretty much using her feelings of friendship towards Eric, and his feelings of friendship towards her, to activate the Mega Evolution.
And Alakazam has an IQ of 5000 according to the Pokedex. Slowking is as smart as a leading scientist thanks to a Shellder biting its' head. Reuniclus has three brains, while Metagross has four and can outhink a super computer, apparently. I think coming up with a rudimentary electronic device should be a piece of cake for them, and who's to say they won't collaborate with another Clan to bring their ideas to life?

Good responses on all of these points, the layout of Utopia, Mega Evolution, light bulbs, etc. I was shaken out of my old man stupor by the appearance of these things when first reading, but again if you own them and make them part of your canon, there's no reason to see why these explanations shouldn't work, but only if you stick to your guns and maintain that consistency.

[LKWayvern]

I'm happy to see that you like the new residential district more! ^^
PMD: Silver Resistance isn't one of the official games, by the way. It's actually a fanfiction. It's pretty good, and one of my many unachievable goals for my own writing.
And yeah, Utopia is mostly rural, since lots of Pokemon aren't particularly smart, or don't have hands, but all the Clans are very, very different. Some of them might be adept at magic, and use spells to do what they can't with technology. Some, like the Rahzyne Clan, simply raid other Clans for what they don't have. Some are capable of sustaining themselves on their own, but don't particularly like the other Clans. While others, like the Muli Clan, have lots of allies, and share technical advances until it gets extremely advanced for a civilization of Pokemon.

And yeah, I really need to make a map of the Utopia region... But that would mean I would have to make a decision about exactly how many Clans there are, and I'm really not too sure about that right now...

[LKWayvern]

Chapter 13

The Latias paused briefly outside Team Reva’s base. She turned back to the sky she had come from, scanning it for any sign of pursuers while nervously tugging at the bands on her wrist.
On her right arm she wore a blue band with a red triangle on it. On her left arm she wore a red band with a blue triangle on it.
That one had belonged to her brother. She wondered how he was doing, back with her parents. Was he having fun? Did he miss her?
Satisfied that no one had followed her, the Latias turned back around and entered the patchwork building.
“Halt!” a voice rang out. Immediately the Latias froze.
A Luxray and a Mr. Mime stepped out towards the Latias. The Luxray’s eyes gleamed golden as she activated her X-Ray vision, and the Latias felt the Mr. Mime scanning her surface thoughts. She fought the instinct to shove him out of her mind, and put up a mental barrier.
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BOjNbbujdA) “She’s with us, all right,” the Mr. Mime said, stepping back. He made a few hand gestures, and several invisible barriers across the entrance vanished.
“She’s not carrying any weapons, either,” the Luxray said, the gold switching off. “Sorry about that, Kyoi. But you know the drill. Safety procedures, can’t have spies coming in.”
The Latias, Kyoi, nodded. “I know. But, well, I think anyone against us would pretty obviously have to be a Ditto or Zoroark or something to try to be me, Latias hate lying!” Kyoi grinned, making the Luxray and Mr. Mime laugh, and Kyoi joined in.
“Okay, now that we know none of us are Ditto spies,” the Luxray said, still giggling, “you can head on in. I think Nekra’s waiting for you. You got the item, right?”
Kyoi nodded. She held the Void Ball, and entered Team Reva’s base.
She levitated through the hallways, smiling at all the Fossil Pokemon guards. A few returned her smiles, but most of them looked at her, utterly baffled by the Legendary’s unending optimism.
Kyoi continued to hover down the windowless hallway, illuminated entirely by small glass orbs containing flickering flames. She moved over to a door, before she saw two familiar figures standing in front of it.
“Adrienne! Cody!” she said, smiling again. She rushed towards the two and attempted to envelope them in a huge hug.
One of them, an male Meowstic, used a gentle display of telekinesis to deflect the hug. The Meowstic was dressed rather oddly. On each of his ears was an earring containing a Psychic Gem. On one arm was a Special Band, and on the either was a Zinc Band. On a belt just above his two tails was strapped a small Twisted Spoon.
The other Pokemon, a Pikachu, was not so lucky.
She didn’t seem excited to be the recipient of Kyoi’s over-enthusiastic, but she forced on a smile and hugged Kyoi back, although with not quite as much… engergy.
“Yes, hello to you to, Kyoi,” she told the Latias.
The Pikachu was also dressed rather strangely. In her ears were what appeared to be human scrunchies. She had a belt around her waist. Attached to it was a Soothe Bell, and strapped to her back was what appeared to be a pure golden staff with an Electric Gem on one end, for the very best conducting and amplifying of Electric attacks.
When the Pikachu was finally put down, she shot a look at the Meowstic, and crossed her arms.
“Cody, you could’ve at least been polite and let Kyoi hug you,” the Pikachu whispered.
Cody, the Meowstic, shrugged. “Kyoi knows I care little for both pleasantries, and being touched, Adrienne.”
Adrienne shot him a look. “Well then you could’ve at least shared my pain.”
“Believe me, I have on multiple occasions.”
(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbP_qxr3eCc) After the three had calmed down, Adrienne turned back to Kyoi. “I assume you’ve completed your mission?” she asked.
Kyoi nodded. “Yep! Here it is!” She used telekinesis to float the Void Ball over to Adrienne. Adrienne caught in her paws, examined it, and nodded.
“Very nice. I didn’t expect something called the ‘Void Ball’ to be so shiny, though.”
Kyoi beamed. “I know! That’s just a bonus to completing the mission!”
Adrienne turned back towards the door. “Cody, if you would be so kind?”
The Meowstic nodded, and lifted up his ears for a brief moment as he used telekinesis to open the door. The three Pokemon marched into the room.
It was dimly lit. The only light seemed to come from a glass orb, suspended from the ceiling. The orb was directly above a Delphox with glistening black fur, hard at work using a paintbrush to draw complex wards and sigils on the floor underneath the orb.
Hearing someone enter, the Delphox looked up, finished one of the glyphs with a flourish of the paintbrush, slipped the tool into some fluffy fur around her wrist, and turned towards the three, standing up.
“Hi, Nekra!” Kyoi said, waving and smiling.
The Shiny Delphox nodded politely at Kyoi. Do you have the Void Ball? she asked telepathically.
Adrienne nodded, and approached the leader of Team Reva. “Yes. Here it is.” She handed the glimmering ball over to the Delphox.
Nekra turned towards Cody. Cody, I’ve put the wards in place. Now start putting barriers and such around it. We cannot let ANYONE retrieve this from us, I do not care how hard it is to infiltrate our base!
The Meowstic nodded. Nekra placed the Void Ball in the center of the circle of symbols, and then backed away. Cody’s ears lifted up again and his earrings glowed as multiple invisible barriers were formed, arcing above the small, gleaming sphere.
Nekra observed the protective forces for a moment, then nodded. Yes. This will do. You all are relieved.
Kyoi and Cody immediately left, but Adrienne lingered behind.
“Nekra…” the Pikachu asked, carefully. “The Void Ball… Do you know what’s inside it?”
Nekra didn’t answer for a moment.
No one truly knows, Nekra finally responded. But...
“But?”
Nekra shrugged. But nothing. I have no idea what it contains, but I assume it is something deadly.
Adrienne dawdled for a few moments longer.
“Nekra--”
Yes?
“Umm… When I first joined you, you told me… About a certain price…”
Nekra sighed. Yes. When we have captured two more Clans, and I have completed the Summoning Spells, I shall allow you to go.
Adrienne looked startled. “But… If what you told me is true, then… That doesn’t give me very much time, and--!”
Time is an illusion, Adrienne. You are relieved.
Adrienne looked like she wanted to say something more. But instead she simply said “Yes, Milady Nekra,” and left.

(RL) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdfZgaEMNO8) After night fell, a lone figure watched in the shadows, observing the glinting Poke Ball.
...Hello, Mother. Admiring our newest acquisition?
The figure turned around. “Ah, Nekra. Yes, it is quite nice. And some very strong wards and barriers, I see. Yes, you have both done well.”
Nekra sat down, staring at the dimly lit orb. So beautiful… and, she was told, so deadly.
“That new admin, that Latias, what was her name… Kyoi, correct? She’s the one who retrieved it? She’s a very good addition. Incredible battler, and very fast.”
Nekra nodded. Mother… I know you know something about what is in the Void Ball…
The other Pokemon sighed. “What is there to tell? No one knows what, exactly is in it. Pokemon name it the Void Ball, humans know it as the GS Ball. The best experts, both human and Pokemon, have attempted to open it. Only I have come close to succeeding, and it cost me much. But, there is a legend… An alternate version of the Councilverse’s creation myth, that gives us a hint…”
...Yes?
The Pokemon made eye contact with Nekra, and the Delphox shuddered. She suddenly and acutely felt the presence of something primal within the Void Ball.
The other Pokemon’s eyes glimmered strangely in the dim light. “They say the contents of the Void Ball… is balance.”

End of Part 1

I was originally going to end the part last chapter, but I thought this made a cleaner cutoff.
Anyways, I may not post a new chapter for a little while, I want to make a few paragraphs of worldbuilding, so you can get a few ideas about how this particular variant of the Pokemon world, the Councilverse, is different from the games and anime.
I'll be mostly focusing on evolution, Mega Evolution, and maybe some other stuff, but yeah. I'll post it later, maybe on Monday?
Also, if anyone's wondering about something in particular in the Councilverse or Utopia, feel free to post something, comment on my userpage, or send me a PM. If it's not a major spoiler, I'll add that to the stuff I'll post! ^^

[LKWayvern]

Have an info dump. Not sure if all of it will ever be relevant, but I needed to get some of this stuff straightened out.

Aura and Auma

Most people tend to group them together, but they’re actually quite different. Auma is the creative energy, the yin part of the soul, while Aura is destructive, the yang part.
Auma is used in moves meant to heal health, remove status conditions, and increase stats. Aura is used to inflict damage, decrease stats, and cause status ailments. They can both be combined with a type and a physical action to create a ‘move’. If a Pokemon runs to low Aura or Auma, they can’t use moves that require that kind of energy. If a Pokemon runs low on both aura and auma, to keep them from straining themselves forwards they automatically shut down, or faint.
All Pokemon have an ability that, when certain conditions are met, automatically triggers their auma or aura in some way. For example, the Blaze, Overgrow, Swarm, and Torrent abilities are all very similar. As a Pokemon grows stronger, the ability stores a small amount of aura and auma away so it can’t use it. But when the Pokemon runs low on aura and auma, it releases the energy, temporarily giving them more strength.
Another example is Volt Absorb, Water Absorb, Flash Fire, Motor Drive, and Sap Sipper. These abilities let Pokemon absorb the aura of another Pokemon and convert it into auma for their own personal use.
If a Pokemon uses aura to use an attack, the aura will dissipate and break down into the world again as two things, pure energy and pollution. Pollution is corrupted aura. Shadow Pokemon have been known to use pollution as fuel for their Shadow Moves, as opposed to aura or auma.

Shadow Pokemon

Artificial Shadow Pokemon have had their emotions and pain sensing nerves shut down by artificial means. In addition, the decision making parts of their brain have been surgically altered. Their aura and auma both have been transformed into pollution. In addition, each artificial Shadow Pokemon has a secondary ability, called ‘Hyper Shift’. When an artificial Shadow Pokemon loses too much pollution, its’ ability kicks in, putting it into Hyper Mode. When in Hyper Mode, a Shadow Pokemon’s life energy starts being converted into pollution. The drain on their life energy puts strain on the Shadow Pokemon’s primitive brain, and makes them revert back to their primitive instincts, demanding them to lash out at anything that might cause further damage to them.
Natural Shadow Pokemon, although slightly rarer, are completely different than artificial ones. Natural Shadow Pokemon are Pokemon that experienced a pain so great, be it physical, emotional, or mental, that their pain sensing nerves shut down and their emotions became extremely filtered. This makes natural Shadow Pokemon more logical than regular Pokemon, and unlike their artificial counterparts capable of making the most logical decisions without being hampered by any kind of pain. In addition, instead of having their aura and auma converted to pollution like an artificial Shadow Pokemon’s, natural Shadow Pokemon have pollution, aura, and auma.
Shadow Pokemon of all kinds can be cured by many things. The most common one is making them feel an extremely strong emotion somehow, like fear, love, happiness, anger, or hatred. Really any emotion other than sadness will do. Sadness is the emotion that most often turns a Pokemon into a natural Shadow Pokemon, and will so do nothing to turn it back. As a side note, natural Shadow Pokemon do not have Hyper Shift as a secondary ability, and really wish to live a life as normal as possible.
Some aura seers have reported seeing a black aura around a Shadow Pokemon. The black aura is the presence of pollution in their soul. It is much easier to spot in artificial Shadow Pokemon than natural Shadow Pokemon, allowing many of the naturals to live their lives in relative peace.
It has been noted that roughly 3000 years ago a mysterious disease called the Shadow Contagion was created, which causes pollution to spontaneously spring up in a Pokemon. The pollution, if not quickly dealt with, transforms the infected Pokemon into a natural Shadow Pokemon.

Evolution

Growing up does not result from evolving. Rather, evolving is a result of a Pokemon maturing.
Some Pokemon, like most starters, evolve simply by growing up. By making a realization about themselves as a Pokemon, and embracing that decision.
Others, like baby Pokemon such as Pichu, Azurill, and Togepi, evolve through a particularly powerful emotion. It doesn’t matter which emotion, but it works best with a positive one like true happiness or mutual friendship.
Other Pokemon evolve due to an emotion invoked by a life changing experience, such as being captured, being released, being traded to an entirely different trainer, losing a friend, or gaining a friend. Something along those lines.
Meanwhile, there are certain Pokemon that require a dramatic increase in the amount of aura and auma they have. This aura and auma is typically drawn out from an item imbued with aura and auma. Examples of such items are evolution stones, and items like Sachet, Whipped Dream, DeepSeaScale, DeepSeaTooth, and Razor Claw.
Several Pokemon require a combination of the above methods, however.

Mega Evolution

The Ultimate Weapon drained the aura and auma of Pokemon, transformed it into pollution, and fired that blast of pollution all throughout the Pokemon World. It appeared to hit the Orre and Unova region extremely hard, causing not only the land to become a massive desert, but for the Shadow Contagion to spring up in both those lands. Unova has dealt with the crisis much better, it seems.
However, there was a secondary effect caused by the Ultimate Weapon. The stones of Geosenge Town had residual auma and aura left in them from the Pokemon killed to power the Ultimate Weapon. It is noted that when a Pokemon holds one of these stones, and a being they have a bond of mutual friendship or love holds a second stone, a ‘keystone’, a strange reaction is set off. The auma and aura in the stone the Pokemon holds goes from a dormant stage to an active one, fusing with the Pokemon, boosting their stats, giving them a new form to reflect those improved stats, and sometimes changing their ability and typing. It has been noted that the stronger the bond, the bigger the stat boost.
These stones have been dubbed ‘Mega Stones.’ It should be noted that they only react with a Pokemon of the same species as the one whose aura and auma it originally was.
Thanks to this recent discovery, the stones of Geosenge Town have become nicknamed a ‘Mega Stone Mine’. It has caused a massive controversy about the tiny town, with some believing that Geosenge should begin harvesting, identifying, and selling as many Mega Stones as possible, while others believe this would be desecrating priceless ancient artifacts.

HM Moves

HM moves don’t teach a Pokemon how to fly or swim. That would be silly. They just give them a critical boost of strength in a certain aspect of them so they can do for longer than average periods of time, or while carrying a trainer or Pokemon.
For example, Dive would let a Pokemon take a deeper breath of air and stay underwater longer, Fly increases the speed and height a Pokemon can normally fly by making their wings a hundredfold stronger, Surf makes a Pokemon swim faster than average, as well as creating a convenient current going in the same direction they are, Strength gives a Pokemon double their average strength for a short period of time, etc.
Most HM moves can be learned through years of practice, but trainers are impatient and downloaded the main ones as HMs.

Chaining Moves

Some moves are connected with others. If a Pokemon practices a certain move long enough, it may find a way to learn a more powerful version of that move. Wild Pokemon are capable of chaining moves like this, and learning moves that their species would normally never be capable of learning. There are even certain moves that lead to the signature moves of legendary Pokemon.
Certain moves also split into multiple chains. Many things depend on what chain a Pokemon will follow if this happens. Some things determining that are what type the Pokemon is, what items it’s holding, the environment it’s in, and what moves Pokemon around it know.
Trainers don’t know about move chaining because you have to start with the first move in the Chain, and trainers are impatient and usually just teach their Pokemon a crazy powerful move with a TM.

There. Hope that explains some stuff.
If you see an idea you like, and want to 'borrow' it, go ahead. I think it's interesting stuff.
Then again, my sanity is questionable in some areas.

[LKWayvern]

No music this time... Couldn't think of any to fit the chapter, and didn't feel like looking through my iPod for some...

Part 2: Blaze

Chapter 14

You would think a cute little hedgehog with flower ears wouldn’t be so scary when you have a type advantage over it, and are several feet taller than it. Not to mention you have scythes for hands and it just has tiny little paws.
That just goes to prove you have never had Shaymin scream at you for hours on end.
After the general rant about ‘what on Ecana were you three thinking’ and ‘you all could have died and we need all the hands we can get’ and ‘you could have blown away our cover completely,’ Shaymin settled down and finally got around to dishing out the punishments.
Gadzooks’ punishment was left up to Raider to decide. All Shaymin asked was that the Sylveon learn some discipline.
Kai’s punishment was a bit more dangerous. Two Clans, the Sashra and Zashla, were constantly warring. Kai was sent to treat any injuries from the latest skirmish, and try to recruit at least some members from the Clans.
It was not going to be easy for her, because the Clans were made up of Seviper and Zangoose, respectively. And since she would be going it alone, Kai would have no access to her Mega Evolution.
Eric’s punishment was a bit strange.
He was to go to Celin City, and talk with a mysterious Pokemon who the Phoenix League had never heard of, and yet this Pokemon had somehow managed to send a message to them informing them that they had information about Team Reva’s goals.
Eric knew about Celin City. Everyone knew about Celin City. Celin City had started out as Celin Clan, a group of Turtwig, Grotle, and Torterra who were peaceful, worshipped Celebi, and had many allies. Eventually the Celin Clan began to allow anyone who worshipped Celebi to join their Clan, and the Clan grew so big that it could only be called a City.
At any rate, Eric was somewhat anxious about this mission. He had been given a map to enable him to get to Celin City without a guide, but the map was rather vague, didn’t show the Phoenix League’s actual location(or the locations of multiple Clans, for that matter), and had minimal landmarks.
Eric sighed. He had heard that typically in the Phoenix League, members were allowed a break of up to a week between ‘missions’. Between going to meet Rosie, Gadzooks, and Koray, going with Kai to get Gadzooks back, and this latest mission, he had had little to no rest between them.
In preparation, the Scyther purchased multiple healing berries, apples, and bandages for the trip. Oh, well. It wasn’t as if there was a time limit on any of the missions, so he could finish them as slowly as he wished to, so long as he didn’t make Shaymin suspicious of him slacking off, or anything.
Eric placed all of his supplies in a small bag, which he fastened to his abdomen in such a way that it would not obstruct his wings in case he needed to fly.
For the first mile or two of the trip, there wasn’t any particularly big obstacles for Eric to overcome. He was, after all, still technically inside Vibrant Meadows. It was not a part often visited like the gardens, dormitories, or residential areas, however, and so it had become somewhat overgrown.
A little while later, though, the greenery began to slowly fade. It was nothing particularly noticeable, at first. A lessening of flowers, a shrinkage in trees. But soon Eric started noticing that dust and hard packed earth was becoming more common than soft grass. The wild Pokemon began to change too. Instead of seeing Ratatta, Zigzagoon, and Fletchling, Eric was starting to notice Sandshrew and Sandile.
Soon, Eric was in a desert. He was unsure of how he could go from a floral paradise like Vibrant Meadows, to a desert, to city that produced as many berries and held as many Grass types as Celin City. It was unbelievable to the Scyther.
He started to slow down as he traveled. The desert sun was getting to him, and he hadn’t brought very much water. The map had been painfully vague about their being a desert between Vibrant Meadows and Celin City, and Eric had never suspected one would existed in that particular area of Utopia.
Soon, though, Eric’s energy was eradicated from his limbs as he felt a jolt of strength. He could see a rainstorm in the distance! His wings began to buzz loudly as he lifted off. He flew towards the rainstorm with all his might, pushing his endurance further and further.
But then as he got too close to it, the mirage vanished, and the truth was revealed. What he had believed to be a rainstorm was, in reality, a sandstorm.
It was too close for Eric to avoid, and he was too tired to try and fly back. In moments, the sandstorm was upon him. Sand was everywhere, in his eyes, battering his carapace, flying up his mouth and nostrils.
Eric crash landed on the ground, unsure of where to go. The world had been transformed into a light brown blur where boundaries faded and everything appeared the same.
Eric attempted to go in the direction he thought was the right one for Celin City, and out of this infernal desert, but it was hopeless. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of the sandstorm before it whittled away at him too much, and he fainted. Scyther were not built for endurance, and Eric was no exception.
Eric managed to stumble forward, nearly blinded by the stinging sands, for several more minutes before it became clear that enough was enough. He hit his foot hard on something, probably a rock, and landed awkwardly on the ground. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to walk on that foot again for a while.
Before he slipped into unconsciousness, Eric noted that on almost every one of his missions so far, Eric had managed to get defeated by something. First, Rosie, Koray, and Gadzooks had attacked him without remorse. Then, he had just stood by as Kai and Gadzooks had fought, after failing to change the Sylveon’s mind with words.
Now, Eric was lying in the sand, beaten by a sandstorm. Beaten by something not even alive.