King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Hello, hello! Welcome, one and all, to King of the Hill!

How do you play? Well, the rules are very simple. The first person to post gets the hill; the second person must do something that will get them the hill from the first person; the third person must do somethign that will get them the hill from the second person; and so on and so forth for all of eternity.

There are only a few things you cannot do:

-You cannot create additional hills or destroy the original. There is only one hill. You CAN move the hill, of course, just not create a new one or destroy it.
-You cannot break PxR rules.
-No Killing/Crippling, period. Anything that goes down is Knocked Out. (Yes, you can do what is typically fatal damage to anyone and as long as they aren't dead, you're fine.)

Also, faction-making is allowed. Faction-making, for those who don't know, is basically sharing the hill with a group of people. Any post by that group is considered part of the whole faction. to make one, just ask someone and hope they accept. Of course, they can be broken at anytime by anyone.

One more thing: Only loose logic is required. Almost nothing is impossible in King of the Hill. Almost nothing.

Considering I made this thread, I'll just get the ball rolling. And no, it doesn't have to be this intricate.

"As I ventured throughout the unknown land which I typically ventured through, I encountered a thing of extraordinary marvel: A hill so pristine, so pure, so utterly desirable by all types, that further ignorance was madness of the highest order! No copy could ever compare to the marvel of this beautiful, flawless hill! 'It must be mine', methinks! Seeing as no other people were around to get at it, I plant my noble flag upon the lovely hill and declare it mine."

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I then take the hill from TNT the wanderer because coats.

Mine~

[Death's Spook]

I deploy knockout gas and use my psychic powers to throw you both, including any flags, off the hill, which I claim for me, myself, and I.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

"Me," "Myself," and "I," all turn out to be different people. Having claimed the hill in their honor, they shove you off and bicker about whose it really is. "Myself" uses Explosion and knocks himself and the other two out, and I claim the hill the instant the smoke clears.

MY HILL!!!

[Death's Spook]

Me, Myself, and I perform a Fusion Dance after reconciling all differences. In vengeance for claiming the hill, the fusion performs MAGIC! and causes the hill to erupt volcanically and violently. Having been at the center of the crater, you are launched off as the volcano immediately becomes extinct, and I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The Fusion shoots you off the hill as well and claims it for themselves (itself?). However, I (referring to me), descending from the volcanic eruption, slam directly into you in your ascent, and use you as a weapon to ram into the Fusion. The Fusion is sent to...Wherever the other side of this world ends up being, while you, unconscious, are sent to a HosPITol by me to recover. While you recover, I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

(Points for whoever gets the reference.)

[Death's Spook]

I (referring to the permanently reconstituted 1st person pronoun entities and any other individuals whom I could be, for it is getting annoying to keep track of everything) recover so miraculously that I spring up out of the hosital, launch to the hill, and collide with you. Unfortunately, while doing so, I brace myself for impact, and you don't see it coming. You are currently in ICU, and after pretending to apologize, I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I erase the fusion of 'Me,' 'Myself,' and 'I,' from existance (because they're not members and henceforth not important), and recover equally quickly. HosPITols are really, really quick. I then slap you with a Hot Dog of +20000 attack, and you go flying into the sun. I then take the deed to the hill and build my massive fortress atop it in record time.

MY HILL!!!

[Death's Spook]

I plant a bedchamber spy under my employ to infiltrate the foretress and seduce you. After poisoning you, I orchestrate a coup while you are completely paralyzed. I claim the foretress, and the hill with it.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

When I recover, I detonate the nuclear bombs I hid under the hill as a last resort, blowing up the fortress, sending you and your minions to outer space, and leaving the hill suprisingly intact. While you figure out wherever you are, I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Death's Spook]

I employ FUS DO RAH! after returning from orbit, blasting off of the hill and in into Alpha Centauri. I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I create an anthropomorphic fish army the size of Spain, and get them to attack you. You're quickly overwhelmed, and I claim the hill after securing their Undying Loyalty.

[Death's Spook]

I employ one giant magnifying glass to roast the fish army. And you. The hill is untouched, strangely, as I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use the massive magnifying glass as a massive flyswatter, and swat you with it. I then throw it to Uranus. Enjoy Uranus!

MY HILL!!!

[Death's Spook]

I use Uranus' gravity to deflect back to Earth. Due to my near complete immunity from physics unless I so choose, I am able to reenter the atmosphere with nothing but singe marks. However, as I land on the hill, a large shock wave launches forth with me at the epicenter. The energy blasts you off, and I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use the momentum of the shockwave and a portal gun to shoot a portal to the moon and use the momentum to fly into a white patch of dirt on the surface of the moon, shooting a portal there. The result sends me rocketing back to earth faster than you were, allowing me to do...THE ULTIMATE CHEST SLAM OF DECIMATION!!! You're sent flying to some unknown continent, while I claim the hill, being left unharmed from all of that.

MY HILL!!!

[Death's Spook]

I telefrag directly to where you are. While you are being ripped apart at the atomic level, I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I reassemble myself and use the power of toenail clippers to send you off-world. While you're off-world, I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Death's Spook]

While in the off world, I rip open a hole to Subspace. I then use Subspace to travel back to the hill with another hole. Before I do, I ensure Tabuu is angry so that he uses the Off Waves to trophy you while I dodge at the right time. While you are a trophy, I throw you into the portal, close it, and claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Because Tabuu knew that benefited you and I'm opposing you, he de-trophies me. We then rip open a hole to Subspace under your feet without warning, sufficiently disorienting you and allowing Tabuu to hit you with the Off Waves. Meanwhile, I claim the hill and seal the portal; Tabuu can't travel out of Subspace so he couldn't come after me if he tried, and you...Yhea. I also prepare a few countermeasures in case Tabuu tries to repeat our last trick on me.

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

I appear without warning and backstabs you, you had no chance to sense my approach, since you implied i was dead.

Also since its not pe2k anymore i dont have to say "my hill"

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

As I never A) Implied you were dead, I prepared for this through the ultimate countermeasure! Anti-Goldwynaut spray, GO!!! *Sprays Anti-Goldwynaut spray on Goldwynaut, making him run away in absolute hysteria*

*Pulls the knife out of his back like it was harmless*...With THAT done...

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

As we are the same species, anti-me spray can not exist, it could, but then it would affect you too, therefore i disarm your spray and use it on you!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...You haven't said anything relating to actually obtaining the hill, so I'll just keep it.

And you're a Wynaut. Have you forgotten this stuff already?!

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

In that case I just use protect and then I throw a rock at you, since I hit you in the head, it counts as a critical hit and you faint.

[Plasmalpha Arceus]

A Spiritomb comes and blasts you off with Dark Pulse
I claim the hill.

[Goldwynaut]

I throw a rock at Spiritomb, Its hit in the artifact that actually is Spiritomb and Spiritomb chickens out.

my hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I used Bide on that critical-hit Rock Throw which did not KO me. I think the rest of it needs not be mentioned, but just in case there's any ambiguity about it...In the Anime, Bide creates a massive laser beam once it's done (if the attack was very strong). I remember your last class having a lot of attack and speed but shoddy defense(being part of the Ninja Tree). You cannot dodge bide in a conventional manner. You are currently very, very far away from me and my hill as a result of all of that.

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

I used Bide on that critical-hit Rock Throw which did not KO me. I think the rest of it needs not be mentioned, but just in case there's any ambiguity about it...In the Anime, Bide creates a massive laser beam once it's done (if the attack was very strong). I remember your last class having a lot of attack and speed but shoddy defense(being part of the Ninja Tree). You cannot dodge bide in a conventional manner. You are currently very, very far away from me and my hill as a result of all of that.

MY HILL!!!

I land in Japan and decide to invite you to come over and fight me by sending you a letter saying: "u w0t m8? fite me irl do u even lift?", because I doubted that you lift, you rage and get on the first flight to Japan. We meet to fight in a traditional Japanese dojo (just like the ones in final fantasy) Then you attack me, I just step out of your way and you go right through the paper walls, not only that, but old Japanese houses are known to have extremely bad architecture and could collapse from very small amounts of force, so the entire building collapses over you, I quickly steal your return ticket and get on your flight, leaving you stuck in Japan (ps: i also stole all your monies so you can't just buy another one)

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...The Hill was always in Japan, last time I checked it...OK, maybe it wasn't, but as nobody said where it was EXACTLY...That, and you really have to realize that, just because you trapped me in Japan (the location of the hill being in Japan aside), does not mean you are in possession of the hill-who says a Hobo didn't sneak in and grab it while I was out? I can-and will-eternally abuse your ambiguity on your ownership of the hill to the high heavens, just like before. Rule or no.

Not like I'm that lazy and uninspired. Nope. *Watches from the saftey of the hill as the plane he sabotaged-the one he had the return ticket to-slams into the magma of the nearby volcano (forgetting what the name was), with Goldwynaut still inside*

MY HILL!!!

[3m0d0ll]

I smack the hill out of your hands and say, "Ha-ha, not today," while waving my finger at you.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I slam the hill into your face in retaliation.

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

I consume a strength potion and hurl a car at you.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I sneak in and take the hill since no one has claimed it.

AKA THE HILL IS MINE.

[Elbub]

I do Kung-Fu Kick to knock the hill out of your hands, before back flipping to catch it.

The hill is mine.

http://gifatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/jaqen-deal-with-it-game-of-thrones.gif

[Goldwynaut]

I use a gun, since gun is better than kung fu, I win.

[Elbub]

I use a gun, since gun is better than kung fu, I win.

Well, do you know what is better than a gun? Especially since I happen to notice you're on the edge of a cliff there. Would be a shame if something-FUS RO DAH!

The hill is mine!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Used counter when Gold slammed into his face*

*Gold slams into Ebulb at twice the speed, knocking him off the hill entierly*

...MY HILL!!!

[3m0d0ll]

/pushes you on the ground.

Mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Stands up while 3m0 is on him, sending her tumbling off the hill*

...MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

/sends you down the hill with Jenn

le me is it's new owner. it will now smell like nerd.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I take your VPP and slam it on your head several times, knocking you silly. I then finish by hurling it into your stomach, causing you to topple off my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I take the hill because it's my birthday.

One of the few arguments that is almost impossible to win against.

[Goldwynaut]

since BRT isn't dragonborn and can not do shouts, nothing of what poster after that has actually happened and the hill is still mine.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

*Ace Attorney reference*

*Ace Attorney contradiction reference*

*Takes hill*

[Goldwynaut]

since *does something that allows me to take hill* is one of the laziest things possible, it does not work and i keep the hill.

[3m0d0ll]

/punches GW in the face.

My hill.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I do this then throw a Thing at Jenn, sending her down the hill.

Mine~

[3m0d0ll]

I do this then throw a Thing at Jenn, sending her down the hill.

Mine~

Why can't I hold... All these Quinn butt-kickings.

My hill.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

A wild JENN OFF THE HILL appeared! What will you do?

>Fite
>Bag
>Other
>Let it off

My hill.

[Goldwynaut]

*huehuhehuhe*

my hill

[Metal Gear Snivy]

Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I get Legendary Trainer Markus to blow up your a**. Not understanding why the hill is so important, he flies off to do what he does, while I claim it in his absense.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I play one card game and the hill goes boom! Just like that. One card game -- Boom! Explosion on the hill. After the smoke clears, Tazz is found at the bottom of the hill and I appear on the Mawefic Truf Dwagon and take the hill.

[3m0d0ll]

/grabs TNT's ankles and uses him like a baseball bat to knock all competition off the hill, then tosses him aside like last night's booty call.

m8

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I bring Elbub to the situation so Jenn has to fite him. While she's busy, I take the hill.

[3m0d0ll]

can u not

/takes Hank.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

nuuuuuuuuu im in place of cory

/borrows hank

[Goldwynaut]

Sorry ladies, pack up your tea and cookies and go home, because im about to own you and this hill

while you were making weak attempts to fight for the hill, I was secretly charging mah lazor, so I just step out of the bushes and fierings mah giga lazor!!1!!!!11! at you, you are all blown away from the hill due to being hit by my gigantic lazor and powahr levelz.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Used Mirror Coat on Gold's lazor*

...This hardly needs explaining, does it? It does?

*Sees Gold go through the earth's crust, popping out in Singapore.*

...Yhea.

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I magically make you play Kinect Star Wars without you knowing and take the hill~

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I make you watch Yogscast, and you're so into it that you forget about the Hill. I claim it in absense of you.

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I give you a BRAND NEW CAR!!!! and you drive away with it, giving me the hill as payment.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I crash the car into you for scamming me. The hill is worth infinity, the Ferrari you gave me is not enough for my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

I return from singapore and throw some stomach virus I brought home at you, you get EXTREME DIARREAH! and therefore can't battle for the hill.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I magically scientifically am able to contest for the hill again, doof-kicking Gold off because I want the hill. /takes hill.

[Goldwynaut]

I call John Rambo and makes him slap you with a machete and then squirt bullets at you!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I keep the hill because no one has taken it from me.

Trolololol.

[Goldwynaut]

You got poked by one of Rambo's bullets, you can not keep the hill.

And by the way that was not trolling.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

It was word trolling. ;) And I do it again to keep the hill~

[Goldwynaut]

Since you did actually not do anything to take the hill from me, I keep the hill.

Do something you lazy.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Yhea, just because it isn't mentioned, doesn't mean the good old rule of you having to say, in some fashion, that you have claimed the hill, is kind of in effect if you don't like people just insta-claiming them.

*Whips out a Troll annihilator to annihilate GW, sending him underwater on the other side of the world, then kicks DBT off the hill hard enough that he joins GW a second later.*

...Need I explain it further?

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

Yhea, just because it isn't mentioned, doesn't mean the good old rule of you having to say, in some fashion, that you have claimed the hill, is kind of in effect if you don't like people just insta-claiming them.

*Whips out a Troll annihilator to annihilate GW, sending him underwater on the other side of the world, then kicks DBT off the hill hard enough that he joins GW a second later.*

...Need I explain it further?

MY HILL!!!

The troll slayer did not effect me since I am not trolling, i keep the hill.

[Corey]

As you run up to grab the hill, I smack you down and take the hill myself.

BOOOOOOOOMM. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9_Y4hESJ-E&feature=youtu.be&t=21s)

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Trolls never admit to what they're doing is trolling. Otherwise, it doesn't have maximum effect.

Regardless of that, I eat a Sylveon in front of Corey's face. He's so stunned by my act of curelty towards his favorite Fairy Type that he goes home and cries, while I keep the hill.

[Goldwynaut]

Trolls never admit to what they're doing is trolling. Otherwise, it doesn't have maximum effect.

Regardless of that, I eat a Sylveon in front of Corey's face. He's so stunned by my act of curelty towards his favorite Fairy Type that he goes home and cries, while I keep the hill.

I recover then I see sylveon be violently mutilated, then I cast ultima at you.

And nobody ever stated that you have to say "my hill" or something akin to that, so I won't.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...No, nobody did. It's technically not an official rule. HOWEVER, considering the guy who made the thread this time around is recommending it...

On another note, I come back to the hill with a Magic-reflecting Mirror. You, unaware of the magic-reflecting part, cast Ultima again, only for the mirror to bounce it back at you. In your vacancy, the hill is mine.

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

I pay a monk class warrior to beat you up, since the monk is the most offensive physical class and they can punch through anything, including iron, kevlar, your mom, other monks, and atoms

Muh hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The monk punches an atom between me and him, and I use protect a second before that. The resulting atomic explosion sends you flying and the monk beyond all possible reach, while leaving the hill intact.

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I use my mod powers to claim the hill.

I claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use my Skyrim powers to claim the hill. FUS RO DAH!

MY HILL!!!

[Goldwynaut]

I use my mod powers to claim the hill.

I claim the hill.

Even you can become a mod? I dont want to live on this planet anyomore.

Also monks are immune to protect and exploshions because they can punch through both forcefields and exploshions.

The hill is still in my possesion.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

He didn't punch fast enough. Simple as that.

As for the hill, as you don't want to live here anymore, I send you away to a 1-year vacation on Charon, Pluto's moon. Oh, yhea, with those aliens that hated you a lot. The Monk goes back to Shangri-La while you're gone. Meanwhile, I use MY Mod Powers (albeit my name isn't Green, I am definitely a mod of the GCeA section) against Desperado's, and the former Metal Gear Snivy goes flying as a result.

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I play a children's card game. Tazz wins, I lose, but I take the hill from him because he so desperately wanted someone to~

[MichaelXD]

I update the Pokémon locations for X and Y on another forum. It's a change for once that I get to contribute to something like this. I wish if things were already like this. So I claim this hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I create a Y-signal, JUST so I can summon Yveltal, JUST so he/she can swoop in and eat Mike for breakfast because he/she seems to really hate Mike. With nobody else around, the hill is now mine.

FINALLY COMPETITION!!!

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

I will one day summon Mega Venusaur and Mega Blastoise and together their powers can destroy the thing that hates me. Therefore, I claim this hill. I am King of the Hill!

[Dragon Master Mike]

I use my cloaking device to sneak up behind you and push you down the hill.

My hill

[MichaelXD]

My older brother should one day come and claim me this hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Yes, but until he does so, I'll be taking it instead.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

There must be some other way. Gone today and I'll be back for a picnic tomorrow at lunch time. I claim this hill in the future.

[Metal Gear Snivy]

It is now the future. I take this hill because of no competition.

[MichaelXD]

I challenge you to a game of hoops. If I win, I can claim this hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You lose to me because you tripped at a very bad time. Due to the conditions of the game itself, the hill is mine.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

Huh? I tripped? Were they in my shorts and shoelaces?

[Dragon Master Mike]

i travel to the future after everyone here is gone and capture the hill.

MY HILL

[MichaelXD]

Time resets itself so therefore it is my hill again.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Suddenly, Goldwynaut ambushes you and OHKO's you with superior Ninja offense and speed. However, before he can do anything else, I come in with a Shadow Sneak and OHKO Goldwynaut due to his nigh-nonexistant Ninja defense. The hill is mine now.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

With meditation, skill, knowledge, and power, I learn to fish with this magical fishing rod by this hill and get my rod into the river, claiming this is my hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I take the fishing rod, grapple you from atop the hill with it, and make sure I'm standing on a cliff when I do so, so you fall off. You're unconscious for a while as a direct result of the head trauma, so I'll just take that hill from your possession...

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

The earphones and listening to certain music and songs just brings music to my ears. By chance, I have this one to take this hill back and stay forever strong with good will.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I destroy your headphones, which makes your will weak and allows me to shove you off. The hill is mine, methinks.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

With money to buy another, I also go back inside to listen to my little music. I then build my house on this hill. So I'm at the top of the hill now.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I take your house on the hill and drop-kick it to oblivion, and ban you from listening to music while I'm at it. Just you. Nobody else.

With that done...

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

Sends out Tyrunt with a combination of Stealth Rock and Dragon Tail, it blows Tazz away and forces her out. With that done, Tyrunt uses Rest and lands this hill and makes it mine. Then we snooze here and dream about some other dinosaur Pokémon, Amaura, or some other dinosaur in general.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Except...I have Suction Cups, which force me to stay in. I punish Tyrunt's Rest with Wake-Up Slap, which OHKO's Tyrunt. I then proceed to use the unconscious body of Tyrunt to slam you sky high. STRATEGY!

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

I find a ton of Revival Herbs and then revive my dinosaur. Then I take Tyrunt and all other dinosaur Pokémon and find a bucket and go to Dino World. Except for Rhyhorn is female instead of male. At least it has LightningRod.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...I turn the bucket upside down and trap you. Oh, and before you get ideas, I buried it underground as well. Good luck taking back a hill...Which, in fact, you never even bothered trying to take back from me last post...

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

Oops, my bad! I forgot. Well we encountered a hill in Dino World anyway, and the bucket doesn't actually exist from there. I or Harry has to jump up to get out of it. The hill from Dino World becomes that hill in the real world. So now I can claim this hill and sleep on it until the next day.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Mike was banned. :P Poor Mike.

I claim the hill in his absolute absence.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragon Master Mike]

I dig a tunnel underground, and dig up underneath you. I then break the ground beneath you and drag you into the tunnel with me. I then climb out of the tunnel and fill it in. MY. HILL.

[Bulbasaur]

I send Garchomp to use Dragon Claw on you. Oh, and it has Choice Band.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The hill is hollowed out, with a nice vast tunnel system within. I abuse the tunnels to get back out despite me being buried and use Xerneas on Garchomp to ruin it's day, due to Choice Band and all that jazz. Oh, and I give it a Mean Look to keep it in battle so Xerneas can KO it. I quickly thank Bulbasaur and Dragonmaster for keeping the game alive after Mike's banishment, then proudly pronounce my ownership of the hill thus:

MY HILL!!!

[Dragon Master Mike]

I drop a nuke on the hill. I then find a new hill and take over that hill. MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The hill you nuked is an invincible hill...With perks. Like, ridiculous perks actually worth fighting over. I think immortality was one of them. Maybe. I forget.

So you go off and capture a random hill while I keep THE Hill. True, I had to resort to my makeshift-but successful!-Nuclear bunker to escape the nuke, but otherwise you're screwed in all regards. Sorry! You'll have to go through ME to get MY Hill!

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I play all five pieces of Exodia, as shown by a picture. Because of this, I claim the hill! Go! Obliterate! except not really obliterating.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use the Dead Ringer, which allows me to turn invisible and fake my fainting, as well as grant a massive defensive buff, allowing me to strafe behind you (with only one-tenth of my health gone) and back-stab you for six times your health in damage. That's an OHKO to anyone.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragon Master Mike]

if the hill is immortal, then i shall blow up the earth, use the tractor beam on my spaceship to pick up the hill, and take it to another planet while you float in empty space. MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I escaped to the inside of the invincible hill before you could do it, thereby saving my a**. I use my contacts with a certain Alien race from a certain planet called Charon and get them to blow up your spaceship before you can get on the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragon Master Mike]

I go get a tank and drive up to the top of the hill. I then proceed to run you over in the tank (Completely ignoring the tanks gun). Once you are crushed beneath my tank i sit in the tank, enjoying MY newly captured HILL.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I kick up from beneath the tank. You're sent into orbit, and the Tank explodes from the sheer force of my kick.

I DON'T NEED YOUR LOGIC! MY KICKS ARE BADA**!

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I blow your mind with the knowledge that Blaziken was moved down to OU. I then claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Like, seriously, since when?

In other news, I get Mega Lucario on the scene and PuP/Bullet Punch my way to huge win. You can't stop Mega Lucario, Quinn.

MY HILL!!!

[Metal Gear Snivy]

I don't know, I found out today. xD

I use Protect on your moves and counter with Mega Blaziken and his Blaze Kick of speedy fury. With Mega Lucario knocked out, I send you to the Pokemon Center and claim the hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I put a Flareon between me and MB, and have it use Flare Blitz. With a Choice Band.

Yes, Flareon can learn Flare Blitz now. Rejoice. Maybe.

Critical OHKO from Flash Fire. Nuff said.

You run in fear.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragon Master Mike]

alright, Time for mega Garchomp! He continually uses outrage until everything on the hill is unconcious or gone.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Xerneas would like to intervene on that note. Fairy-Type, immune to Outrage, Moon Blast, BAM. You Mega Garchomp is done for.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I sue because the title of this thread is sexist. However, I agree to drop the lawsuit as long as I am allowed to claim the hill for my own. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I take up your offer. Unfortunately, you didn't bother specifying HOW LONG you'd have it, so you get the Hill for all of a second before I shoot you in the face with a gun that shoots Exploding Swords. You're no longer located in the vicinity of my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

I use my Lucario and Lucarionite and the Mega Ring to mega evolve Lucario and then Mega Lucario uses Power Up Punch on Tazz, so therefore now I CAN TAKE BACK THIS HERE HILL!

I also get stronger and continue looking for more Pokémon from this hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I break your Lucario's Arms. It can no longer punch. You flee in terror at my ability to break bones made of STEEL, and I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

Lucario's arms are healed at a Pokémon center. Then it does the same thing again, and then I claim the hill again.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I'm a ghost type, so you coudln't have done it anyways. I rip your soul out of your body, throw your soul north and claim the hill while you go 'fetch' it for all of eternity.

MY HILL!!!!

[MichaelXD]

Houndoom uses Odor Sleuth. Now it can attack with Power Up Punch, so I claim the hill and run it.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Yvetal abducts both you and your Pokemon and drops you off in the middle of the pacific ocean. You're clearly nowhere near the hill now, so...

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I ride in proudly on my velociraptor army, mosh-pit style. It carries you off of the hill and drops you off at the nearest ice cream shop. Now that you're distracted by delicious dairy treats, I claim the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I throw the Ice Cream Shop at your Velociraptor Army, and find out that the Velociraptors are made of Plasticine. With nobody to back you up, you flee from my Ice Cream Shop-tossing powers and I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Magnetized to the ice cream that fills the ice cream shop that is now located on the hill, I return and challenge you to an ice cream contest. Unfortunately, you fall to my ability to down triple-scoop cones of cookies-n-cream. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Only to be attacked by the Vanilluxe that had also gathered en masse to the Ice Cream Shop. I kick it to the horizon, as well as you. You're distraced by dairy treats, Frozen by Vanilluxe, and I have my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately for me, I am quickly thawn out by my loyal Arcanine, Sir Percival Valiance Lancelot VI. I hop onto his back and charge up to reclaim my hill. He Roars you away, and we picnic together atop the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I eat Sir Percival Valiance Lancelot VI. Horrified at my ability to eat an entire Arcanine, you flee, and claim the hill with a full stomach.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Furious and vengeful at the loss of my beloved Sir Percival Valiance Lancelot VI, I ride in again on my trusty Scolipede Bessie. Bessie uses Toxic, forcing you to visit the nearest Pokemon Center for treatment. Reassured that you cannot eat Scolipede without dying of poison, I claim the hill once more. The hill is now mine.

[MichaelXD]

I lure all of you into my trap and now I can claim this hill from Velocity. I rule this hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I'm a Poison/Ice Type, so I could eat Bessie. And I do. XD

Then, Yvetal Abducts Mike, which is quickly becoming a normal occurence. With you horrified at my poison-eating abilities and Mike gone, the hill is mine!

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

But if you're part Ice Type, how could you eat an Arcanine? This Logic Bomb sets in as Sir Percival Valiance Lancelot VI leaps out of you in an explosion of smoke. He chases you away while shooting Flamethrowers at you, leaving me with some downtime to enjoy my new hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I throw my entire creeper army at you. You promptly flee from the millions of Creepers, and I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

What is that Pokemon you speak of who's Poison/Ice? Anyway I show up and tell you there's a great deal at the supermarket. I barely have any money, so this is my hill now. No one can join on in.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I throw the Supermarket at you, crushing you. The peeps who own the Supermarket move it back to it's original position-you still stuck underneath it, somehow-and I claim the hill.

[VeloJello]

You hear a strange sound that resembles millions of hissing creatures. When you look, you are terrified to see that I have communed with the Creepers and become their queen. They carry you away from the hill and then explode, rocketing you to a far-off land. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I bounce back with an army of Withers. You flee the millions strong army of Withers while I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

I call upon Uncle Grandpa and he gets rids of your creatures. Without them you are powerless, and he clones himself, gives me the hill, and leaves. I am now standing on top of the hill in the sun.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You burn from being in the sun, and I use a rope to pull my hill back to earth in one mighty tug. Your Grandfather flees in terror at my strength and I kick your very charred body away from my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[MichaelXD]

Actually a cloud came in. Then it started raining. I challenge you to tug of war, and then I win, so I'm on this hill again, only this time, I start to run inside because of the rain, and I forgot my umbrella at home.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Yvetal abducts your home and takes it far away from my hill. You're long gone from my hill.

Which is mine.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I buy the hill off of you, but when you attempt to buy something, you are arrested for attempting to use counterfeit money. Since you're in jail, I take the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I hid dynamite on my hill. I explode it from the Jail cell WITH MY MIND, and you're accused of blowing it up without a pyrotechnics License. I DO have a License, before you dare try to exploit it. Oh, you're also kind of in the orbit of Venus, so there's that.

I get out of jail for good behavior and reclaim my hill, which is mine.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

However, little do you know that I'm a lawyer, while you only went to bird school, which is for birds. I act as my own attorney and easily manage to prove that you blew up the hill through my use of logos, pathos, and memes. You are sent to prison yet again, while I set up a nice little law firm on the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I get out early for good behavior, and come back with (one of) my ultimate weapons: THE UBER BLASTER! Yes, it's spelled exactly like that, sans the funky 'u' thing. Anyways, I slam you nice and hard with an orange beam of obliteration pure and supreme, and I claim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I steal your weapon and I smack you with it. I break it throwing it downhill and I shove you downhill watching you roll to the bottom. I then claim the hill.
I have the Law firm demolished by proving that I am the new owner of the hill.
I sit on a random throne on top of the hill to show my supreme current dominance of the hill.
My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

By breaking the Uber Blaster, it explodes rather violently after a few minutes, which I use to my advantage by throwing the exploding bits up the hill, where you are. When they explode, you go to mars, and I reform my Uber Blaster in seconds and reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I confiscate your Uber Blaster and bury it under a million pounds of concrete. Since you are now disarmed, I summon my velociraptor army and have them deposit you at the nearest bingo parlor. You are forced to play bingo forever, while I reign over the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...I eat the entire Velociraptor Army, leave a duplicate of myself that's actually illusory to play Bingo, and come back, disguised masterfully as your entire Velociraptor Army. I then backstab you...All 100000000 or so of me...I think. You go get those knives out of your back and I'll go get my hill and Uber Blaster.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Using the knives you so kindly gave me for free, I create a knife rain above the hill. You see it coming and run for cover, and when it's done I claim the hill for myself. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use the incredibly nasty halitosis I got from eating all of the Velociraptor Army to breath unto you, making you collapse immediately. You're hauled to the HosPITol to recover from scent-based assault and I get a breath mint before reclaiming my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Little do you know that I spiked your breath mints with deadly neurotoxin. You're forced to seek out an antidote for the deadly neurotoxin, giving me an easy opportunity to reclaim the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Being a Poison-Type, I am immune to ALL Deadly Neurotoxins! Or really, anything that's poisonous in general. You, forgetting this, do not realize that I've merely set up a decoy to fool you to try to take the hill I never left. I ambush you and use Toxic on you before you get close to the top-and it lands. You're too sick from all the subsequent puking to face me one on one, so you go to the nearest Pokemon Center, which is in Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville (which is rather non-indicative, but not TOO non-indicative), and I reclaim my Hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, my recovery is swift, and I am able to come charging back. Because I am a Dragon type, I am able to paralyze you with a powerful DragonBreath. While you're paralyzed, I am able to lay claim to the hill once more. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I inject a quick Paralyz Heal, and shoot at you with Ice Beam five seconds later, relying on ridiculous speed. Being a Dragon Type (and a Flying Type as well), you're kind of screwed. You're carted to the good old PKMN center in Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, and I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, as a part Dragon type I have access to a lot of Fire-type moves. I use my superior Special Attack to burn you with a Flamethrower at long range, forcing you to seek swift medical attention. While you are away, I chug Yache Berry smoothies as I rest in my lawn chair. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I spiked your Yache Berry smoothies with exponentially-acting Toxic. You drink the whole thing without noticing, then you almost immediately faint a few minutes later from the sheer strength of the toxins. I drag you to the South Pole without any coats or anything, then reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, I'm best friends with some South Pole Waterbenders. They give me all the coats I want, as well as a ride back to the hill. I wrap you up in fluffy Waterbender coats and the resulting overheat requires your flimsy Ice-type self to seek immediate cold. Since the hill is very mild, this involves you getting nowhere near it. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, I solve this by wrapping you in the coats in such a manner that you're now an immobile ball, which I roll downhill. I then reclaim my hill and laugh at your status as a jacket ball.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Little do you know that I am a master of Katamari-rolling. I roll my Katamari-like self through town, collecting all sorts of items to add to my mass. When my coat-Katamari has reached optimal size, I roll you up and break free, sending you and the Katamari rolling off to who-knows where. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use Rollout to use the coat Katamari to roll around the world and slam into you from behind, releasing myself from the Katamari immediately afterwards. Not satisfied, I shoot it with the Uber Blaster to knock it around the world again, you in it and unable to control it due to sheer speed, then Uber-Blaster it to the stars above, where it explodes into a star in the distant night sky.

I don't think you're anywhere near the milky way galaxy anymore, Velo. Or the King of All Cosmos, before you get ideas, because I saw him relaxing in Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, which is definitely on earth. Anyways, I reclaim my hill while I buy a name for the new Constellation that just appeared thanks to the Katamari.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

As the Katamari explodes, the constellation it becomes is imbued with my hopes and dreams. It bends to my will, forming a tide of stars that I ride - my hair flowing elegantly, of course - back to the hill. My star tide sweeps you away into the depths of space before reforming into a new constellation that reads, "Keep off of my hill". The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

As it turns out, the words have an incredibly sour impact on the Charon Aliens. Apparently it means something a lot worse than what it already means to you and I. Thinking you as a collaborator to the nefarious ninja troll Goldwynaut (who they despise as their number one undisputed archenemy of all time), and recalling me as one of Gold's arch enemies, they assist me in defeating you by teleporting me out of space and right into your face. I prepare to use Blizzard, but you faint from my Deadly Neurotoxin-laced bad breath as I breath in-that's what you get for spiking my breath mints with Deadly Neurotoxin! You go to the HosPITol, and I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I recover quickly, however, and I tell my Waterbender friends that you ruined their nice coats. In retaliation, they create a flood that sweeps you off of the hill and into the ocean. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I kick the continent of Antartica at you, after washing up upon it's shores.

Yes, Antartica. The whole freaking continent, kicked straight at you, knocking you clean off the hill and trapped under the ice of Antartica, while I go to reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Being trapped under Antarctica is so hilarious that I get a case of The Giggles. The Giggles will not be contained, and soon my laughter is so great that it melts a hole in the continent and frees me. Coincidentally, you have aggravated a lot of penguins. The penguins swarm you and knock you off the hill, while I and my Giggles kick back to enjoy it. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I summon forth, from within my soul, a powerful power, so powerful, it had to be put in my soul in the first place.

YES!!

I SUMMON THE POWER!!! THE ULTIMATE POWER!!! THE POWER OF DEVASTATION PURE AND SUPREME!!!

THE POWER!!! OF DRY-ERASE MARKERS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!

...You're promptly blown out of the universe (possibly with an additonal abortion from all existence, prior to, prior from, and going on now), and I'd say your Giggles are no more, but that would be saying something like 'I floss my teeth with a plastic straw (the kind used for drinking).' I do not do that. Your Giggles are so far beyond 'no more' I cannot find a word for it.

I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I rocket out of our universe and crash into Steven Universe. I convince the trio of butt-kicking ladies known as the Crystal Gems that you're a threat to humanity, and you're promptly outfought and forced to run away. I sit back and enjoy a Cookie Cat on my Latio-free hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I unleash my almost-two day charged beam of absolute devastation to take back the hill, as your Crystal Gems (who clearly visited the Redundant Department of Redundancy at some point) are sent out of this universe into Steven universe by the force of the laser. You run like f*** at the sheer sight of the almightly blast of power, and I sit back and enjoy a Kit-Kat on my Velo-Free hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

However, I immediately begin pondering my sinister revenge the instant you dissed something from my beloved cartoon. I plot an ingenious attack that involves a Rube Goldberg device, some deadly neurotoxin, and a bag of Gummi Worms. Before I can launch this plan, however, the TvTropes Police arrest you for pulling a Deus ex Machina. Saving my super-gratuitously-brilliant scheme for another day, I take possession of the newly-vacant hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I HAD ABSTAINED FROM POSTING TWO WHOLE DAYS TO CHARGE MY LAZOR! HOW DARE YOU!!

...TvTropes Police let me leave early because of reasons related to Earthbound and IT'S technical Deus-Ex-Machina (the player of the game defeating the final boss rather than any in-game characters, being a technical Deus-Ex(tra)-Machina) being played brilliantly, and what I did not being a Deus-Ex-Machina at all because it took two days. I march up my hill, slam you halfway into the ground with my foot (which has previously sent tanks flying), and sit on your head, quickly eating a burrito and farting upon your head while I sit to KO you with noxious burrito gas.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

After I recover, I quickly phone the Grammar Police. They see your use of "it's" where it should have been "its" and take you away to Grammar Jail. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

They let me out early due to me having to do a ridiculous amount of Grammar Nazi-ing of one Goldwynaut (who definitely was not all that with grammar). I then get a Machamp with a Power Band to use Close Combat on me while I use Counter (wearing a Focus Sash at full health, just in case), then quickly turn me around so I hit you instead for massive damage!!! You deface Mars from the force of the attack, I reclaim the hill.

[VeloJello]

As I sit on the edge of Mars, my star carpet reappears and sweeps me back down to Earth. It then forms a constellation that appears to be an ancient prophecy about how you must save the world from a terrible threat. You whisk away to embark on your quest, leaving your hill vacant. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

After a ridiculously epic quest of epicness, which involved:
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-every single f***ing character from Disgaea, generic or not, fused into some massive Disgaea...Thing...
-At least a million shocking plot twists
-cheese rolling
-Eon Sky
-somehow proving Chuck Norris is NOT invincible (it blew my MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!)
-learning how to do the flamingo with an octopus made of dynamite
- a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-becoming a Magical Girl of the most ridiculously OP order for a few weeks (Super weight scale on TvTropes said ERROR (of seven), then blew up reality...I fixed it!)
-killing approximately 1,843,234,789 Audino archers riding Bibarel riding a Panzer with a laser beam,
-a gun that shot Prinnies (Exploding Demon Knife-Nut Penguins who say 'dood' as an obligation to their role)
-Kyubey turning into that Android Mascot for 384 hours and 43 seconds
-a Dr. Pepper boss monster who had a car key minigun
-copious use of the power of Dry-Erase Markers to erase some existences and then some
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-the stealing of the ship of Flynn of Skylanders fame to cross an ocean of magma that wasn't in the Skylands at all
-a Elvis cloning machine
-weaponized Gatorade
-the single most epic moment involving animated gloves and chocolate bar wrapping of all time
-proving that cake is and is not a lie at the same time
-stealing Victiny's V-Wheel
-stealing things that shouldn't even be remotely possibl
-a popcorn pistol,
-a popcorn SMG
-a popcorn machine gun
-a popcorn minigun
-a popcorn sniper rifle
-a cornpop sniper rifle
-a popcorn bazooka
-a popcorn shotgun
-sealing a Divine Majin in my left-hand pinkey
-using the moe anthropomorphism of The XBOX 360 as a piece in a high-stakes game of microscopic checkers
-a rematch of said micriscopic chekers match
-me gaining an infinite amount of Mana through sheer existence
-making friends with Waterbenders on the NORTH Pole
-a really angry Mermaid Genie Robot Pirate Ninja Vampire Werewolf Wizard Warrior who eats bad cosplayers for breakfast and overly-large pencils for every other meal
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-using all of New Zealand as a low-rank weapon
-Playing this "Makai Wars" Game that everyone's freaking out about for some reason
-witnessing the birth of a carnivorous nuclear death monster who enjoyed classical music before I killed it
-Figuring out what's underneath Zer0's helm
-Abusing the Vegan Police
-Playing hopstoctch with my good old pal Necros for the title of Tin Pin Slammer champion of the Tri-State Area
-eating a Platapus foot
-Watching the 31st person I ever saw in life becoming a superhero themed around sneezes and good-looking hats
-donning a fireproof asbestos suit and burning people as the Pyro for both sides of this RED/BLU conflict because why not?
-Defeating Goldwynaut the Ninja Lich guy
-Eating Giovanni and becoming his Nidoking
-Eating Giovanni's Nidoqueen
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-way too much stuff to put in a list (what will get on here is about 1/1000000000000th of what was involved)
-3,944,572,460,825,825,715,115,087 people with spiky ears from this 'netherworld' place trying to take away the title of "Overlord," which I do not possess (or at least I am not aware of said possession), all of them now dead
-a Cthulu (or whatever his name is) cloning machine
-and a ridiculously hard quest of hardness that required ridiculously hard grinding of grinding...ness...To survive along with mind blowing tactics of the hyper-mind blowing variety

I come back and tell you this, and while I do so I remove the hill from the ground it lays on and put it in the North Pole, where MY Waterbending buddies are, and they shove you to the bottom of the pole, and shove a pole into your leg, while I have my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I laugh while reading that. The Laugh is so extreme that it exceeds The Giggles; it exceeds literally every kind of laughter that there ever has been or ever will be. It is so extreme that it sends the pole shooting out of my leg and propels me through the air. I hover in the upper stratosphere for a little while, before The Laugh spends itself somewhat and I gradually float back down to the ground. When I land, I find that not only am I on the hill - which The Laughter has relocated to its previous location - I'm the only conscious person there, as you've been KO'd by a random pole falling from the sky. Because I'm such a good friend, I have you sent to the hospital. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I shoot the Prinny Gun at you. Did I mention it was rapid fire? You get barraged with a barrage of Prinnies from within the HosPITol, knocking the hil and you to New Zealand, which, being my weapon, I use against you with extreme prejudice to slam you to the artics. You go help Polar bears you see in distress (who are too lazy to help you in exchange, and you know it), I keep my hill in New Zealand.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

Equips rocket boots and a box of banana peels... flies up the hill. AIRDROPS BANANA PEELS... Needless to say... the assault of the peels causes you to slip like in the cartoons... and you fall to your untimely defeat as I land on the hill.

My Hill... in New Zealand

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I pay Velocity into manipulating her Star Carpet into making an 'ancient' prophecy that tells YOU go on an epic journey to buy a FERRARIMOBILE at the other edge of the Galaxy, lest the galaxy be turned into NOTHINGNESS, by the forces of AN INCREDIBLY VAUGE EVIL THAT MAY OR MAY NOT EXIST!!

You go and attempt to do just that, while Velocity, having been paid, leaves the hill (for now). I reclaim my hill, and send you off on your journey.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I use my mind-bubbling heaps of cash to buy a new, completely inedible and otherwise indestructible velociraptor army which I ride into battle. Your attempts to eat my army are met with failure, and you flee in terror. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Goldwynaut, the Trolling Ninja Lich of Pe2k KOTH fame comes and attempts to back stab you and take the hill from you once you've settled in. I, all too familiar with his many attempts to back stab me off the hill, stop this attempt by intercepting his leap at your neck and slamming him into the jaw of one of your velociraptors, which OHKO's him due to his pitiful 'defense.' You thank me and vacate the hill for my occupation, while I kick Goldwynaut to Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

After my velociraptor army and I conquer the whole universe in the span of a mere few days, we return to the hill to make our final conquest. We agree to give you control of a minor province in exchange for your loyalty and the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Except, due to the fact that you forgot my Hill was on New Zealand, which is my weapon, you are hurled off my hill instantly as I swing my mighty New Zealand-Ax, sending you and your Velociraptors off of my land. Before you're capable of launching a counterattack at me, I use my reality-warping powers to abort your 'invincible' Velociraptors out of existence like a total boss.

Knowing that you'll just find more of them (somehow), I summon Laharl, Overlord of the Netherworld (or at least one of them), and proceed to tell him of your universal conquest, the threat you pose to his Netherworld in the long run (even if it doesn't share universes), and how that, for the time being, you're vulnerable due to a lack of army. Laharl proceeds to do to you EXACTLY what he does to this poor Zombie in this video, OHKOing you in a spectacular burst of overkill. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjzLjtWgsgo&feature=youtu.be&t=39s)

He goes back to his Netherworld and prepares anti-Velociraptor traps for the future. I do likewise with my small providence, and keep my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, one of my many friends is a time-bending dragon. He turns Laharl's future into the past, meaning that the poor fellow's traps have already been set and disarmed. Now that that threat is over, I resummon my army and storm your ingrateful butt off the province I was so generous as to leave you as well as taking the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, you have forgotten that the province you gave me-not wishing to give me what I don't already own-was New Zealand, the place where the hill actually lies in...And my weapon. A single swing of my mighty New Zealand Axe (which is only rank five of forty, higher being better) scatters your army-already weakened by destroying the traps Laharl made in his Netherworld but not the traps I made in New Zealand-and sends you flying to the nearby continent of Australia, specifically to the bedroom of Graceful Suicune, who proceeds to use her ULTIMATE GRAMMAR POWER!!!™ to annihilate you and your army in retaliation for breaking into her bedroom. Laharl decides to help, mainly because you disposed of his (relatively cheap) Velociraptor traps in his Netherworld and didn't bother actually invading his Netherworld to stop him. I watch the fireworks from atop the hill atop my Province-Weapon...

...And I reclaim my hill, not forgetting.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I change my name to Dawn and go on an epic Pokemon journey, culminating in the defeat of Team Galactic and my capture of Palkia. Having caught Palkia, I have it use its powers to separate the hill from your continent-weapon before wiping the latter from existence. Furthermore, Palkia encapsulates the hill, itself, and myself into a spatial bubble that may or may not actually exist in the real world. We enjoy tea and cookies in our new reality. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

It's alright. You may have caused a massive genocide of New-Zealanders, but that's alright. (No, it's not.)

I didn't really need it as a weapon anymore, for I have found...THE RANK 6 ULTRA-SIZED AX!!!

YES!!! ALL SHALL TREMBLE IN ABSOLUTE FEAR OF MY...INFINITY LADLE!!!!!!!!!

Being rank six instead of rank five, it is not only slightly larger than New Zealand, it's also much stronger. I proceed to use my new weapon to make the Ax cop absolutely jelly, who I dare to break your spatial bubble to see who's Ax skills are better. The Ax cop obliges and does so with his almighty ax powers (Nobody beats the Ax-cop at Ax wielding), and you, who dared to make a pocket dimension without any time whatsoever (and henceforth were utterly frozen), could do nothing as the Ax cop, err, bursts your bubble. You, Palkia and the hill fall into the ocean where New Zealand once was, and I use my powers to fling it around the circumference of the earth and into orbit. Then, using my Infinity Ladle, I Ax you and Palkia mid-orbit, knocking you off the hill, which breaks orbit and lands on top of the Yogtowers. You have no clue where the Yogtowers are, so while you're recuperating from the blow of my Infinity Ladle and wondering where the hill is, I go to reclaim my hill because I DO know where the hill is.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

My necromantic army of phantoms, summoned by dead souls on the hill, frightens everyone away. Except me. I shall now take my throne as the overlord of the hill of the dead.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I bring out my Darkrai! Being a Dark type against a load of Ghosts, Darkrai proceeds to sweep your phantoms off my hill with ease. Suddenly lacking in the 'ghostly army' department, I use the Infinity Ladle to slam you through the centers of Mars, Jupiter and Neptune and make you land upon Charon, Pluto's moon, where the Charon aliens arrest you for disturbing the peace and throw you in jail. I reclaim my hill shortly thereafter.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

However, while you're not looking, I swipe your Infinity Ladle and throw it into the Jazz Dimension. Since there is no such thing as a Jazz Dimension, you spend an eternity looking for it, while I am allowed to retire on the hill in comfort. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

In response to the above comment on there being no Jazz Dimension, instead of looking for it for all eternity, I instead INVENT A JAZZ DIMENSION TO LOOK IN.

Reality warping. It's awesome like that.

Within seconds of searching, I immediately find my Infinity Ladle again, because it's that freaking big. I also find a Smooth Jazz Wave Motion Gun, Weapon Rank 20 of 40. I immediately fire it at you upon the hill. You land on Chiron in Alpha Centauri, and while you deal with the Mindworms that just so happen to live there, I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I open the Mystery Box in the middle of a game of zombies and earn the Thundergun which I packapunch... twice. I then use it to blow you off the hill and you land safely in a giant jello mold somewhere in China because it would only make sense to have a giant jello mold in China, right?
Anyways... regardless of why there is a giant jello mold in China... My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use my GIANT CHINESE JELLO MOLD LASER OF DOOOOOOOOOOM SHARKS!!!! You're quickly annihilated by the incoming horde of DOOOOOOOOOOM SHARKS!!!! Once they're done annihilating you, I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!!

[Dragotech]

I pull myself together... luckily I brought my Angel Ring to work today... It revived me on top of where I was defeated and then shattered. I knock you off the hill and watch you roll to the bottom and land in an oddly placed oversized storm drain.
My Hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, you fail to realize that I would be carried out of the self-same comically over-sized storm drain in a surprise assault by my DOOOOOOOOOOM SHARKS!!!! Using the almighty combined might of the Infinity Ladle, the Pitchfork of Obliteration, the Smooth Jazz Wave Motion Gun, the hot dog of +20000 attack, the Uber Blaster, The SWORDSPLOSION!!!, the Prinny Gun, and EVERY OTHER WEAPON I'VE USED IN THIS THREAD AND THE PE2K THREAD, I and the TLTTNT (Totally loyal to The Nonexistent Tazz) legion of DOOOOOOOOOOM SHARKS!!!! slam you off of this planet and make you greet Velocity on the planet Chiron at mach 9. Mind the Mindworms!

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

You failed to realize that the combined might of your power knocked the hill with me on it all the way to planet Chiron. Where I now rule over the mindworms as king of the hill... now on a distant planet due to your vastly overpowered arsenal of random weapons...
My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, you fail to take into account the fact that I put a teleportation device on the hill while you weren't looking, just so it could go back to earth in case you decided to somehow take the hill with you (sans Mindworms). Once it reappears on top of the Yogtowers, the Yogscast appear outside and do hilarious things that are hilarious, oblivious to the hill. You're so distracted you fail to notice me slowly push you off the hill, even once you're at the bottom and fall off to the streets below. With you distracted thoroughly by the Yogscast, I then claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

As I fall in slow motion while observing the hilarious randomocity that is occurring I realize I am falling and bound my way up the tower and kick you to the moon for laughs. realizing I am the only one still on the hill I banish the Yogcast and reign over the hill.
My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

In attempting to banish the Yogscast, they banish you from the hill instead, because you're laughing so hard they misinterpret your command as a gruesome insult. Meanwhile, I suddenly jump down from the moon in a mighty leap, slashing you with the Infinity Ladle during the descent, knocking you to Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, or what's left of it after Dawn/Velocity decided to destroy New Zealand...I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Rival Max]

Boom tidal wave destroys everything and everyone, especially Latio who was crushed into oblivion. Not even a single atom of Latios remained after the hit. Once the water clears a tribe of aqua people come up to the surface and allow me there new ruler and king to take over the hill.

Now its mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Poor, poor Latio/Latios, person that was not me. As Latio-Reol, Latio-Nytro, and as of right now The Nonexistent Tazz, I mourn for this person that was once named similarly. However, it turns out that I made an illusion of most of the events, and when he least expects it I slap Joseph across the face. He's so surprised by my appearance he faints, and falls off the hill. While he's unconscious, I kick the hill to Iceland, leaving Dredd a letter saying "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha NO." I reclaim the hill once I'm done kicking it to Iceland.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

I chant a long-winded garbled animal-sounding incantation made up of Latin, Irish, Korean, Icelandic, Greek and Urdu words that basically translate to: "This hill shall be mine."

And it is, naturally.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I interrupt your incantation with a single slash of my Infinity Ladle, sending you into the sun. Enjoy your stay in the sun, Fantome! I'll be taking this hill, which just so happens to be mine.

MY HILL!!!

[Ganyu]

You slashed me with nothing because a ladle can only scoop but besides that, it no longer exist (spatial distortion is fun). You may have the hill, as a zombie grunt while I am King!

Moi.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

That's OK...I've found the rank seven Ultra-Sized Ax anyways. BUUUUUUUTTTTTTT...First, I introduce you to my fist.

I proceed to punch you so hard that you turn into a black hole and explode, destroying the universe, except...The Universe. However you'll wrap your mind around that one is beyond me, but either way, I now have complete hill-owning authority with you kind of...Wherever you are...Definitely not on earth.

MY HILL!!!

[ShadowJay]

While we are all introducing ourselves....

Meet my fist Tazz! *punches Tazz down the hill, possible into lava that it placed below*

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I introduce the Rank 7 (of 40) Ultra-Sized Ax: THE ENTIERTY OF JAPAN!!!

I swing Japan at you, and you're sent to some non-definite area of Korea that could be South or North. Also, I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[ShadowJay]

After my long journey back from Korea, I feed Tazz to my pet piranha plant. The plant doesn't like the taste and spits Tazz to some uncharted location in Alaska.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I fling Japan, my ultra-sized Ax, towards the hill in Iceland, while I chain myself to it, pulled away with Japan. As a result, I am sent flying from Alaska to Iceland, with you being cleanly cut by my Island-weapon and also sent flying away to presumably somewhere in Russia, and I and Japan land upon my hill. I unchain myself to Japan and claim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I throw the hill to Hawaii. It lands upside down on top of you and locked into place by Japan. I sit atop the upside down hill drinking an Island beverage. My hill.

[Ganyu]

While geographical shenanigans are portrayed by the subspecies underlings of a not-so-intellectual mammalian race on Earth otherwise denoted as Planet 825-E, I transport the hill through a space-time continuum where stupidity doesn't exist and thus all except me is sent into oblivion or the afterlife equivalent of this plane.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Except you fail, because no matter how 'stupid' anyone is, it is an equally stupid move to ignore a Reality Warping menace with little appreciation for those who steal his things, like anything else. I appear with you in the alternate dimension with a wicked grin (reality warping) and undo the transportation of the hill to this alt. dimension (reality warping), but I don't boot you off the top of my hill yet. You, on top of my hill, are suddenly crushed between it and Hawaii as it returns to its last location. I discard Japan, putting it in it's last location (with the locals none the wiser), and proceed to repetitively crush you with the hill top, making NICE and sure that you're under it with each blow, and not an illusion/robot/clone/duplicate/something else that would look like you. Once that's done, I toss you to the HosPITol's Hawaiian branch, as you're basically a pancake and I can't leave you with crippling wounds, and I flip my hill over on it's correct side, and claim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[ShadowJay]

But while you're busy attacking, I find the deal to the hill and put you in jail for trespassing.

My hill.

[Ganyu]

Hardly any damage was sustained to me, because some nonexistent thing was hallucinating under LSDs so I shall bring the hill to the Bermuda Triangle (since you guys love Hawaii so much, geography fetishes). Unfortunately the stories are true, everyone vanishes except me (hah intangibility).

My hill.

[ShadowJay]

I didn't vanish, I just turned invisible. That being said, I teleport my hill to the North Pole where Santa orders the elves to attack everyone except me. You all fall down the hill and get your heads stuck in snow.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I use my Nonexistence (I'm called 'The Nonexistent Tazz' for a reason) to have the elves ignore me, then slam ShadowJay AND Fantome Ecrivain into the Fantome Ecrivain Zone, where the two of them (yes, the two of you) both go insane from listening to other Fantome Ercivains, who clearly do not think anything of our Fantome. I seal off the entrance, making SURE no Fantome Ecrivains get loose, and kick the hill back to Hawaii because I like it there.

WHO DOESN'T LIKE HAWAII?!

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

Do to your nonexistence I take the Hill since no one is technically there.
My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...It's complicated, but I am. But I am not. It is perplexing to me as well, but I'm here and I am not, so let us not delve into it further.

Anyways. I get Craig and Levi to duke it out in a GCeA battle right now. Being that his team is comprised of much stronger Pokemon than yours (5 at 1 badge cap, 1 fairly close), Craig wins, and by Proxy, I win. I use this as a way to get you off the hill and back onto GCeA for more training, while I keep the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[ShadowJay]

You are still nonexistent, but I pull out a nonexistent thing identifier. It identifies you in less than two seconds and I know where you are. I hide in the shadows and sneak up behind you, pulling out a replica Doublade as I do. I slash you with my Doublade, and you go falling down the hill, where the elves carry you off.

My hill.

[Ganyu]

My coffee brings all the demons to the hill. Damn right, it's better than yours. The demons rip apart your flesh and feast on your soul, leaving me to desecrate the hill.

MY HILL~

[ShadowJay]

I poke you the lightest I possibly can and you fall down the hill.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Laharl despises Fantome's description of Demons (as he doesn't find the soul edible at all, much less something to feast upon), and he, being a Demon Overlord, comes to my hill to teach Fantome a lesson. A really painful lesson involving meteors. Specifically, meteors landing upon heads. I kick ShadowJay off my hill just as the meteor is about to crash, and enjoy Laharl's laughter as a sign of a double OHKO. He's not interested in the hill, so he leaves, HosPITol Nurses cart you both off to the HosPITol, and I keep my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I throw an excessively oversized taco to distract you while I take the hill right from under your nose. I bump you off the hill, so you may pursue your newfound quest for the giant taco.
my HILL.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I, using four of my five selves (Me, Sita, Etna, and Flonne), throw myself up to the taco as you throw it, and throw it back to the hill. It knocks you off in the process, and the four of me dine, with I, Tazz, claiming the hill.

Go blame Horuma and Desperado for why I have these selves and why I'm still me, respectively.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I loose a team or Snorlax, who immediately steal the taco from you and take it back to their lair. While your selves are going off to retrieve it, I reclaim the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Except the fifth self, the Hero Prinny. Prinnies, TYPICALLY (but not in this case) being the designated Chew Toys of the universe due to them TYPICALLY being the souls of sinners stuffed into penguin suits quite literally working off their Karmic debt, you ignore me, deeming me utterly harmless. Being myself, I shred you to pieces in a knife frenzy. I come back with the Taco, and I, Tazz, Claim the hill and finish it off.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

The various Velo pieces each take on an individual life, becoming a Velocity army a dozen strong. We ambush you in the middle of your taco-induced food coma and rout you from the hill before setting up our fortress there. The hill is now ours.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Didn't you legally change your name to Dawn? Wouldn't it be a Dawn Army instead of a Velocity Army?

While you ponder this question, I get Etna-me and Flonne-me to sneak into your fortress, and proceed to use the Chaos Impact and Flonnezilla specials on all twelve of you when you least expect it. You're utterly decimated by the combined power of the two attacks, so I blow up your fortress and claim the hill as my own.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

As my copies fade to nothing, they use the Wobuffetian technique of the fatal Destiny Bond to destroy all of your copies. While you mourn the loss of your clones, I casually throw you off of my hill and directly into Nowhere-Near-the-Hill-Ville. The hill is now mine.

[Ganyu]

I sauntered up from where I've been rudely shoved off and while you guys are hopelessly decking out for eternity, I phased Velocity such that she sinks into the bottom of the hill (where that is, I don't know and you probably won't want to). I placed a stick into the ground and hang a skeleton over, declaring it as the flag of my hill~

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The 'flag' 'quickly grows flesh,' 'comes alive,' and beats you senseless. As it turns out, it was me using illusions to fake being a skeleton because I knew you'd use a skeleton for your flag. I mock you heavily for not noticing, knock you out, and reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

You are so busy mocking Fantome Ecrevian, however, that you don't notice the earth trembling slightly beneath your feet. You don't notice, in fact, until a massive fissure suddenly opens up in the earth and Groudon rears its mighty head. It slam dunks you and Fantome both into the earth's core. I hop off of Groudon's back - where I've been cleverly hiding this whole time - and we do a victory jig. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I dig my way out of the ground (burying my hole so Fantome can't follow that easily), correcting you on the fact it is Fantome Ecrivain, not Fantome Ecrevain. While you learn your lesson, I also learn how to use Groudon as an effective flail. I slam you with Groudon's Backside while you contemplate your error, sending you both to Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, and I reclaim my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

However, as vengeance for your impertinence, Groudon amplifies the sun's rays in order to give you the worst sunburn in human history. While you're being treated for it, I reclaim the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You underestimate the HosPITol: I'm instantly cured, and I'm so healthy I spring out of the HosPITol and onto your head in an amazingly powerful Bounce Attack. I leap away, as you're still consious, and as you're ready to use Groudon to your advantage again, I have three of my other four selves throw her in the water before she can do anything, disorienting and wounding her, and have the last self-the Hero Prinny Self-slash away at you. My bounce lands upon the wounded Groudon, KOing it without further ado. You're both carted off to HosPITol-still in one piece this time-and I keep my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

However, you're forgetting that my copies Destiny-Bonded your copies into oblivion. The logic bomb suddenly invalidates everything you just did except for the Bounce attack. I Counter the Bounce, sending you flying even farther than Nowhere-Near-the-Hill-Ville. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

SELVES!! NOT COPIES!! Also, they respawn too. :D

Anyways, I find the Legendary Rank-40 ultra-sized Ax...GALAXY!! EDGE!!!! I use it's size-changing properties to size it up the size of a Galaxy (hence the name), and Ax you to Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville, reclaiming my hill.

MY HILL!!!