The One

[Chibi Altaria]

I also would struggle a LOT with "dating" as it's done these days. I have only ever liked people I was friends with first and I can't really imagine being able to get to know someone well enough if I started dating a stranger (from a site or met irl) without them expecting things I wouldn't want to do unless I knew them for a long time first haha. So I really don't blame anyone that doesn't want to actively seek people to date in that way (if you do however, more power to you!). I've found that the best way to meet someone I have a potential future with is to do hobbies and get to know people as friends first. Whether that means chatting on online communities, playing a sport, going to the gym or playing card games at a store! Whatever it is, if you get out there and do something you enjoy then you're already meeting people who share that interest with you which is a great basis for a friendship. And if you're lucky you might meet someone special! I don't think I would ever date someone I wasn't friends with first.

Personally, I met my ex on PE2K about 10 years ago now (don't laugh ). I was about 17 iirc. We were friends for a couple years first and it was a good relationship overall, but after 5 years we were still living on opposite sides of the planet with no real plans to fix that, plus I grew up a lot in those 5 years and we just grew apart. I thought he was the one I would end up with for plenty of years, but since we broke up I have realised that for me it was more of a best friendship than anything else. We had a lot of good times, I learned heaps about what I want and what I can put up with (no more long distance!!!), and both of us visited parts of the world we might never have otherwise been to, so no regrets. :D



I totally agree with everything you've said in this thread! And I find this in particular incredibly impressive! I've never been able to admit feelings to anyone but that is a wonderful attitude to have!

Yeah, me too. And that's how I see it. I'm not one of those people that can just immediately "date" someone after meeting them. I believe that you should be friends before all else, and learn to love each other in that respect first. If others have a different way of doing things, that's fine, but this is me, personally. I find love is something to treasure, and feelings like that shouldn't be handed out "half-assed" so to speak. I'm really socially awkward (in person), though, because I don't get out enough (or have many friends around nearby) to put my social skills to use. xD So when I actually meet someone that I like I have no idea how I should act, aha.

I met an ex on PE2K too and it didn't last long, nor did I think it would. Like you, we were friends first, but also had that pesky issue of distance and I don't deal well with that at all. I'm also a realist, so I'm very aware that just because you really like someone doesn't mean everything is going to magically work out. Especially when it involves such a vast distance and you don't have the money to spend on frequent holidays. xD I learned too, about the things I want and what I can and can't handle. I would never say it was a waste, though, because I learned a lot. But I was also pretty immature back then. Even when I thought I wasn't. :p

Thanks, Sarah. xD I suppose it's like when I was a kid. I was terrified of going on those rides at theme parks in case something would break down. And yeah, that's true. But it's not very often (if they take care of the rides), and I could be missing out on something I'd really enjoy. After I came back from my study abroad in 2013 I got over a lot of things. Nothing ever seemed as scary as being on my own around the other side of the world, away from everyone I knew. Mind you I was never really scared about that in the first place. xD Rather excited. When I came back, everything else seemed so tame. I guess I matured a little?


@Soups You're welcome. c: My step mum loves telling me (although I hate it) that things happen for a reason. And I believe if you along in your life, just doing what you want to do to make yourself happy, eventually someone will come along. Or several someones. If that doesn't happen, you'll at least be content in what you have and what you've achieved. You need to love yourself first.

[Wookie Mistake]

I've had two serious relationships, one of them being long distance, about a 10 hour drive, that one didn't end well, she had some major trust issues, which is understandable giving the distance, but trust is a major foundation to any relationship, and to be honest, it got to be too much to constantly reassure her. On the flip side, I'm still very close to my first serious gf, we have very similar philosophies and I still talk to her once a month, I even went to her wedding, and I can say that her and her husband make a great couple.

Other than that I've been on a few dates, but nothing that's turned into anything long term. I have to agree with @Chibi Altaria, the reason rejection should bother you is because you've put yourself out there for someone you've felt a connection with, or are attracted to, if they don't feel the same way than it can be a blow to the gut. If you can move on pretty quickly than you never had any great expectations to begin with. As for the one, I'm not sure whether I believe in it or not since I have yet to run into her. But if you do, I don't think you should stress about finding him/her, if you're at the point where you're looking for the one, they're probably looking for you too.

Don't let other peoples failed marriages turn you off to it, I feel like the biggest reason so many marriages fall apart is because people end up getting married with this expectation that marriage is a happily ever after ending. When in actuality relationships need constant work.

Just remember, "Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably crap." XD

[Soups]

You're welcome. c: My step mum loves telling me (although I hate it) that things happen for a reason. And I believe if you along in your life, just doing what you want to do to make yourself happy, eventually someone will come along. Or several someones. If that doesn't happen, you'll at least be content in what you have and what you've achieved. You need to love yourself first.

Self-love is the most important love of all!