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    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Rising Smoke (a black randomized gijinka storylocke)



    All Shayla wants to do is return to Sinnoh, but after running into a nice stranger at a Team Plasma rally, her whole life stops going according to plan.

    Welcome to Unova, home to the scum of the earth that can't even be afforded a prison cell in a better region.

    Alright, here we go! It's my first ever storylocke so, hopefully, this goes well. Now I know what you're thinking if you've ever even heard the plotline for the Unova games, and yes, this is a gijinka story. The probably with this kind of story didn't occur to me until I was plotting out chapter 2. Thankfully, I think I've managed to work around the issue at hand, so without further ado, enjoy the story!

    Rules:
    Spoiler:
    1. You may only catch the first pokemon on each route. If you kill it, that is it, no more pokemon may be caught.
    • 1a. Shiny Clause is ON.
    • 1b. Gift pokemon and eggs do not count as encounters for the area.
    2. All pokemon must be nicknamed.

    3. If a pokemon faints, it is considered dead and must be boxed.

    4. You cannot flee from any wild encounters.

    Table of Contents
    Spoiler:
    Chapter 1- Look below

    Chapter 1
    Spoiler:
    It was a quiet warm night in Nuvema Town. Shayla could faintly hear the sound of rushing water from the river on Route 1. It was serene. As she zipped up her bag filled with a few changes of clothes, a potion, and about 3000 poke, Shayla looked out her window. She had been here for almost a year, yet, it felt like she had only arrived yesterday. She had enjoyed her time in this quaint place. But she could not afford to stay here any longer. Not with the state of affairs as it was.

    Shayla sighed to herself then turned to her mounted mirror on top of her dresser. She pulled her long navy hair back into a high ponytail and slipped it through the opening in the back of her black and white baseball cap. It was a souvenir from the Nimbasa Zebstrikas game she had attended a few months ago. It matched the black tank top and jean shorts she was wearing. And while Shayla wouldn't admit it out loud, as a gift from Uriel, Shayla felt quite attached to it. She slipped on her black and white sneakers, then grabbed her bag and slung it onto her shoulder. Shayla took one last look in the mirror, a tanned face with red eyes staring back at her still seeming unfamiliar even after all this time. But it was time to move on.

    Shayla quietly opened the door to her room and closed it behind her. She crept down the hallway as silently as she could, a few floorboards creaking as a testament to the fact that stealth had never been her thing. She passed a white door on the way to the stairs, not hearing any sounds from inside. That was Uriel and Josiane's room. It felt wrong to leave without saying goodbye, but Shayla felt that they would stop her if they knew what she was up to. They were the parents she had always dreamed of having, and stopping your kid from running away seemed like the parent thing to do.

    Shayla reached the stairs and quietly scurried down, staying on the tips of her toes to minimize the noise. She stepped down onto the first floor and made her way to the living room where the front door lay. She had just set foot on the carpeted floor when a light came on. Shayla froze and felt all the color drain from her face as she made eye contact with Uriel and Josiane.

    Uriel stood up from the couch and approached Shayla silently. His fang earrings and flame tattoos had never looked so intimidating. He snorted as he stopped in front of her and pulled his arm out from behind him to reveal a small white envelope. He held it out to Shayla. "You're going to need this," Uriel said quietly.

    Shayla eyed him warily before taking the envelope out of his hand. She cast a glance at Josiane, the woman giving no indication of what was inside with her expression. Shayla carefully opened it and pulled out a crisp new traveler's license. How could a forged license look so realistic? Shayla examined the license, trying to spot any flaw in its design, but to her untrained eye, it looked perfect. It had her picture, her full name, her birthdate, her species, the names and phone numbers of her legal guardians, and it even had the different security checks, that Shayla knew of, used to weed out fakes. This was amazing! Shayla looked up at Uriel. "How did you get this? It looks real!"

    Uriel gave a short shrug, his mahogany eyes glimmering with amusement. "I have connections. Speaking of which, there's an old friend of mine waiting for you out on Route 1. He's agreed to escort you to Castelia City."

    Shayla grinned, excitement filling her. Finally, she could escape this place! She was about to start thanking Uriel profusely when a question popped into her mind. "How did you know I was planning to leave?" Shayla asked quietly.

    "You are not that skilled at subtlety, kid. The neighbors could hear you sneaking down those steps. Plus all your questions about which port to take and what routes would be the fastest, it would have clued just about anyone in. Give this emboar some credit, I'm smarter than I look."

    Shayla winced a little and gave Uriel a sheepish look. She had been hoping he would not be able to put the puzzle pieces together in time but it seemed like this was not such a bad result. "So… why aren't you stopping me? I'm running away. Aren't parents supposed to stop their kids from doing this sort of thing?"

    "Generally, yes," Josiane answered as she stood up from the couch. She brushed herself off and walked up beside Uriel. "But, your case is different. We knew this day would eventually come. When you first arrived in our household we knew you were not the type to stay put for long. And while we had hoped you would stay with us for longer, we agreed that we would not stop you when the time eventually came."

    Shayla stared between the two parental figures in shock. She had never truly had parents, not in any real aspect. Uriel and Josiane were the closest Shayla had to that, and despite all the ramifications this would put them through, they were letting her go. Shayla dimly realized she was going to miss them a lot more than she had initially thought.

    "I see you're taking your lucky hat," Uriel interjected. "Glad to see you're taking something to remember us by." He paused, almost like he was choking up. Uriel cleared his throat and ran one of his large hands through his brown hair. "Josiane and I knew you probably wouldn't want to leave without saying goodbye so we've been listening for you the past few nights to see if we could catch you before you left. We just… we wanted to let you know that we really enjoyed having you here. Ever since Mason left us, it's been a bit lonely in this house, but when you came here, it felt like…"

    "Like Mason had never left," Josiane finished.

    Shayla instinctively glanced at the urn on the mantelpiece across the room. Mason had been Uriel and Josiane's only child. Shayla didn't know the whole story, but from what she had gathered, the smeargle gijinka had left home a few years before Shayla arrived and returned in that urn. She couldn't imagine how that must have felt, to see your only child leave happy and healthy and return as a pile of ashes.

    "I'm glad I was able to return that joy to you, even if I wasn’t able to fully replace Mason. Once everything gets sorted out, I'd love to come back and stay with you a little longer. Maybe we could go to another Nimbasa Zebstrikas game."

    Uriel chuckled and put one of his hands on Shayla's shoulder. He squeezed her gently and nodded his head. "That would be nice." Uriel's expression turned serious as he looked Shayla right in the eyes. "But I hope you realize the instant you step out that door, you can't come back here. At least, not for a long time. It'll be too dangerous. They'll be watching us constantly and I don't doubt if you ever return that they'll come here to capture you."

    Shayla lowered her gaze slightly and slowly nodded her head. She had known that; she just hadn't wanted to accept that fate just yet. "I know. But I promise I'll come back some day," she answered quietly.

    Shayla felt Josiane and Uriel pull her closer, forming a tight group hug. "Don't make promises you can't keep, darling," Josiane whispered in Shayla's ear. After a moment, the husband and wife released Shayla and watched her fondly as she started towards the door.

    "Stay safe," Shayla said before opening the door and slipping into the darkness of the night. Nuvema Town was a lot creepier when the only sounds around her were the chattering and scurrying of wilds in the surrounding forests. Sticking close to the shadows, Shayla darted from her house to the entrance of Route 1.

    The air was cold but fresh. Shayla could hear the faint songs of kricketots as she ventured down the short route. She was so caught up in the sweet tune that she almost didn't catch the sound of blades until it was too late. Shayla tucked and rolled to the side, her eyes trained on her assailant.

    He was dressed in an all red uniform with silver boots to match the brim of his hat. Shayla could see his golden hair peeking out from underneath his hat as his gray eyes stared daggers into her. Shayla lowered her gaze to his arms. He was wearing silver armor plated with long blades pointed away from his body obviously meant for slashing. She had seen these before, and supposedly, they were barbed as well to cause more damage, though it wasn't at the top of Shayla's to do list to test that theory. Uriel had pointed out these details when they had traveled and seen these guards in Unova before. Uriel had made it very clear that unless you had a type advantage, you were not to mess with these guys. Bisharps were trained, armed, and very dangerous. Though, given the lack of medals on his uniform, Shayla could guess this particular bisharp was a low ranking. Uriel had pointed out when she had first seen them that as a cyndaquil she shouldn't have much trouble with them, but she would have to learn a fire move first. And the problem was, she still had yet to learn one.

    "Halt! You are breaking the district curfew. By order of the Arceuian Authority, you are under arrest!" the bisharp shouted before charging at Shayla. She ducked under his arms and nailed her shoulder into his solar plexus but other than a soft 'oof' it seemed like the man was fine. Shayla shoved the bisharp away and tried to create some distance but it wasn’t much use. This guy was faster and stronger than she was; she'd have to bank on outsmarting him. But how?

    "Heads up!" Shayla ducked just in time to see the bisharp gijinka get a face full of sand. She felt a hand grip her shoulder as she was forced back, another man stepping between her and the bisharp. “Let me handle this, doll face.”

    Shayla stepped back a bit, deciding it best to not interfere. She had been described as highly persistent in the past, but even Shayla knew this was a fight she could not win. The stranger held a chain in his hands, spinning the right end of the chain as the bisharp gijinka regained his focus.

    The bisharp guard glared at the man and said, “Mind your own business. This is between her and the law,” he snarled out.

    The man chuckled before snapping the chain like a whip, causing it to wrap around the bisharp and pin his arms to his sides. The guard cried out as his blades cut into his legs. “Can’t do that. See, problem is, this is my business.” The man yanked the chain, pulling the bisharp guard closer and grabbed his face roughly. “Hm… you know, up close, you look pretty tired. Maybe you should take a nap, sweetheart.”

    In the blink of an eye, the man had slammed the guard’s face into his knee, knocking the poor bisharp out cold. That was not going to go over well with his superior. Shayla winced a little as the stranger released the bisharp from his chain. He turned his gaze to Shayla and a chill ran down her spine in terror. She should have run when she had the chance. Then, much to Shayla’s confusion and surprise, the man cracked a smile. “Didn’t scare you too much did I, doll face?”

    “Uh… no? Just… more surprised than anything else I guess.”

    The man chuckled at that response and approached Shayla, slinging his chain across his shoulders and holding it with both hands. “Well, that’s good. Don’t want to make too horrible of a first impression. We’re going to be traveling together for a decent amount of time, so I don’t think it’ll benefit us if you’re frightened of me.”

    Suddenly it dawned on Shayla. “You’re the escort Uriel contacted for me.”

    The man nodded his head. “Yes ma’am, name’s Tyson Jonas. Now, I’d love to continue introductions, but I know for a fact that in about fifteen minutes there is going to be a guard change and I’d rather not get caught by that torterra with his unconscious colleague lying at my feet. I presume you feel the same?” Shayla quickly nodded her head in agreement. “Alright then, doll face, let's head on then.” Without waiting for Shayla, Tyson brushed past her heading further down Route 1 towards Accumula Town. Shayla spun on her heels and jogged to keep pace with him. He was quite the brisk walker.

    Shayla scanned Tyson over, now able to get a better look at him when he wasn’t in the middle of a brawl. Tyson stood about a foot taller than Shayla and definitely held a more muscular build than she. His hair was a dark old silver color and his eyes appeared to be garnet in shade. He was wearing a gray shirt with a black leather jacket complementing the matching black pants and boots. He had two stud piercings underneath the right side of his bottom lip and two more between his left eye and eyebrow. She noted that he was also wearing a King’s Rock as a bracelet, possibly for its battling effects? Shayla squinted a little, just barely able to make out his faint beard in the small amount of light the moon provided. Shayla glanced at the chain he was holding, the weapon of choice seeming to change in length as he used it. Perhaps this was part of his power as a gijinka. But what type of gijinka was he? Shayla didn’t know of any that were associated with chains.

    “First off, don’t call me doll face. It’s demeaning. Secondly, I want to know where you’re taking me. Uriel obviously trusts you, and I’m inclined to do the same, but I’d still like to know where we are headed. Lastly, I want formal introductions at some point.”

    Tyson rolled his eyes and glanced down at Shayla. “Alright, princess, then what should I call you? Do you have a preferred nickname or something? And just for future reference, my friends call me “his royal highness” but I will also accept “overlord” or “emperor”.”

    “Don’t call me “princess” either. Shayla will be just fine, thank you very much. And I’m not calling you any of those things. It’ll either be Tyson or no name at all,” Shayla replied curtly. She folded her arms and asked, “So then, where are we going? What’s the plan of attack?”

    Tyson raised his eyebrows at Shayla. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re heading to Accumula Town. I’ve got a friend there that’s going to let us stay the night then we head on to Striaton City. If these guys act like they usually do, then they’ll overthink our actions and head straight for Striaton, and when we’re not there they’ll keep searching around. They’ll be ahead of us, sure, but we’ll at least lose them for a couple of days and hopefully be able to keep our heads low to avoid them as we draw closer to the hornet’s nest that is Castelia City. Sound good to you?”

    Shayla shrugged her shoulders. “You’re the professional so I’ll presume that it’s a solid plan and trust your judgment. If it isn’t, then it’s on you. Deal?”

    “Deal,” Tyson responded with a smirk, “As for formal introductions, you mind if we save that for the morning? I know you’re obviously itching to know more about me but since I’m the one that made that fake ID of yours, the feeling’s not exactly mutual. Besides, I gotta get my beauty sleep at some point and staying up for a formal discussion of who I am does not equate to beauty sleep.” As if to emphasize his point Tyson made the gesture of flipping his hair.

    Shayla snorted at the gesture as she looked in the direction of Accumula City. She wasn't so sure about Tyson's plan, but if he wasn't kidding about making her fake ID, then Shayla suspected that he would know what course of action would be the best to take. "Yeah, that sounds fine to me. Still, impressive work on my traveler's license. I couldn't tell it was fake."

    "That's because it's technically not. Still, though, you think this is my first rodeo? Trust me, you are not the first high-profile prisoner I've smuggled out of Unova. I've got it down to a science at this point. Most people head for Johto or Kanto though, why are you heading to Sinnoh?"

    Shayla shrugged a little and answered, "Well, I'm originally from Sinnoh, and I'm trying to track down a couple folks. I figure that's a good place to start since that's the last place I saw them. You have any better advice?"

    Tyson furrowed his brows a bit as he thought it over before shaking his head. "Just avoid places like Jubilife if you can. The port you're headed to, Canalave City, is small enough you can get in undetected. But it's right next to Jubilife could pose some problems. It's still better than landing in Snowpoint or Sunyshore if you ask me."

    Tyson let go of his chain with his left hand and let it slide off his shoulders so that it was dragging slightly behind him. He rolled his shoulders a bit then said, "I've actually got a contact in Canalave if you want some help locating your friends. His name is Dr. Vishapin Knight and he works at the library in Canalave. Just mention that you know me and he'll be happy to help."

    Before Shayla could respond, Tyson pointed ahead with his left hand, indicating towards a house on top of a hill in Accumula Town. "See that house? That's where we are spending the night. A buddy of mine, a krookodile gijinka, lives there. Come this way, I know a shortcut."

    Tyson darted to the right into the trees that surrounded Route 1 and Accumula Town. Shayla stuck close to him as they made their way through the wilds, her eyes constantly scanning the area for any wild or feral pokémon around. At one point, she paused, a blue flash appearing for a split second in the distance, but it was gone before Shayla could register what it was. When they emerged from the trees again, they were at the top of the hill, beside the house Tyson had pointed out a few minutes before. Shayla looked around, extremely confused. She hadn't even felt them climb up a hill.

    Tyson saw Shayla's perplexed expression and said, "That's called a Hidden Grotto. They're fairly uncommon but they've been popping up here and there around Unova. You notice how the underbrush and everything got really thick? That's why. My buddy here discovered it and does his best to keep it hidden because the Arceuian Authority has been destroying them whenever they pop up. They claim it's for extermination purposes with the ferals but I don't believe that."

    Tyson led Shayla around to the back of the house. The house was small and white, with two windows on each side of each floor from what Shayla could see. There was a porch out back as well with a mounted swing, a grill, and a set of table and chairs. Tyson and Shayla climbed up the porch. Tyson pulled the screen door opened and knocked on the backdoor. Shayla was expecting some sort of coded knock but Tyson just banged on the door really loudly a few times then shut the screen door back. Shayla heard some thumping from inside the building before the inner door flung open revealing a very drowsy looking krookodile gijinka.

    "Come on, man, not so loud. You want the guards down the hill to hear you? I was awake," he grumbled. The red pajamas and “just woke up look” that the krookodile wore gave Shayla a different impression. His black hair looked like it hadn't even been brushed and his eyes were bloodshot. Still, despite this rather unimpressive first look, Shayla could see the muscles this guy hide underneath his pajamas. She made a mental note not to get him angry.

    "Yeah, uhuh. Sure you were. Come on, just let us in."

    The krookodile pushed open the screen door and let Tyson and Shayla in. He closed and locked the back door behind them. "Tyson, you don't mind sleeping on the couch do you?" Tyson raised an eyebrow at the request then shook his head. "Good, I just wanted to give the lady the nice bed." He fumbled for a moment before blurting out, "Unless you'd rather have my bed, in which case I can take the couch."

    Tyson walked over and pat the krookodile on the shoulder. "Hey hey, easy. I'm fine with the couch. You always guilt yourself into giving me your room. You enjoy it for once." Tyson turned his attention to Shayla. "Shayla, please meet our host for the night, Ashur Prince. Ashur, this is our guest, Shayla Perkins. She's heading to Sinnoh." Ashur gave Shayla a small wave, which Shayla returned.

    "Pleasure to meet you," Shayla said, "and thank you for opening your house to me tonight."

    Ashur flushed a little and he lowered his gaze. "I just hope you'll find it comfortable during your stay." Ashur looked at Tyson and instructed, "Stay down here. I'll take Shayla upstairs and grab you some blankets. I’m sorry the bed isn’t entirely ready yet. I started to make up the couch bed but I wasn't sure what sheets you would like so I tried three different set of sheets and then…" Ashur trailed off resulting in a chuckle from Tyson.

    "Ah, so you did doze off. It's alright, buddy. Whatever sheets you picked, I'm sure they're fine. I'll wait down here. Go on upstairs." Ashur looked over at Shayla and gestured for her to follow him. She started after him as he ascended the stairs just to the right of them. Ashur led Shayla to the first door on the right of the upstairs. He opened the door and gestured for Shayla to walk inside.

    “Thank you,” Shayla said as she walked in.

    Inside the room was a bed with blue sheets and two blankets on it. There was a nightstand right next to it and a lonely chair off in the corner. Other than that, the room was relatively unfurnished.

    “Sorry, this room doesn’t get used extremely often so there’s not much here. I hope you don’t mind,” Ashur mumbled as he walked over and began to fiddle with the blankets. Poor thing was obviously very nervous about having what Shayla presumed were unexpected visitors.

    “It’s lovely, thank you, Ashur. Two blankets are more than enough for me in the winter. I’m a cyndaquil gijinka, after all, so I’m naturally warm.”

    Ashur seemed relieved at that statement. He gave Shayla a shy smile and said, “Well if you need anything, I’m the next door down. The bathroom is across the hall from you and um… there’s food in the refrigerator if you want anything. I’m not sure what time Tyson wants to leave in the morning but sleep as long as you like. No doubt, you’ll need to be well rested for the journey.”

    Shayla nodded her thanks and put her bag down in the lone chair. She heard the door close as Ashur left the room. She unzipped her bag and dug through it. She had brought one pair of pajamas, a summer set since Shayla was unsure how long she would be on the run, and she could take the cold of winter easily. Even if summer was two seasons away, Shayla prepared for it just in case. Pulling her hair out of the ponytail, Shayla looked out the window into the darkness that surrounded Route 1. There was not a clock in the room, but Shayla could guess it had probably been an hour since she left home. It felt like longer. Shayla sighed to herself and changed into her pajamas. Unfolding the blankets, Shayla slipped under the warm covers and sleep quickly took hold of her.
    Last edited by Noblejanobii; 11-29-2017 at 03:25 PM.
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  2. #2
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Chapter 2 is up!
    Spoiler:
    Shayla sucked in a deep breath as she awoke. She slowly sat up, a bit disoriented and not recognizing her surroundings. Where was she? Light filtered in through the thin curtains that covered the window to the far right. Shayla rubbed her eyes and slowly began to remember the events from the night before. She was in Ashur's house in Accumula Town. She was running away with the help of a friend of Uriel's named Tyson.

    Shayla could smell something cooking from downstairs and immediately realized she would dearly miss Josiane's cooking. Shayla had never really managed to pick up the skill in her time there, other than learning how to microwave instant ramen and waffles that were supposed to be toasted. Josiane had told Shayla that Uriel had the same problem. Unless you could cook it in a microwave, Uriel was pretty much hopeless. Josiane said she didn't really mind though. Smeargles were naturally artistic and Josiane's artistic expression was shown through cooking. Shayla's mouth began to water as she thought about all the creations Josiane had made. Kalos's Prism Tower out of pancakes, a hot fudge sundae made to look like Johto's Bell Tower, and a SS Anne made out of bacon! Shayla sighed happily before climbing out of bed. Oh well, maybe one day she'd be able to have those culinary masterpieces again.

    Shayla slowly got dressed into a new set of clothes. She paused at the sight of the clothes she had worn the night before neatly folded on the nightstand. Shayla reached out and noticed that they were warm to the touch. Had Ashur washed them for her? How long was she asleep? With more questions than answers, Shayla packed those clothes back in her bag, hoisted it onto her back, and exited the room.

    Shayla followed the delicious scent downstairs into the large living space. Shayla glanced around the room. It had been late last night so Shayla had not gotten a good look around the room. It was pretty much half the first floor. There was a living room area towards the front of the house, the sofa bed unfolded for Tyson. There was also a coffee table, pushed to the side for now, and a mounted television. All of this sat on a very soft looking ornate rug. Across the room from Shayla was the kitchen area. Tyson and Ashur both stood around the stove, their voices low as they had a private discussion. The kitchen area also had a fridge, an oven, and a microwave. There was a counter in between Shayla and the two men, which was currently holding a plate of breakfast foods, a large pitcher of water, and a glass of leppa juice. There was a dining area to Shayla's left, which was where they had entered the house the night before. There was a large table and four chairs, though they appeared to only serve the purpose of collecting dust.

    Tyson looked up as Shayla entered the room. "Good afternoon, Boomburst," he said as she approached the counter. "Sleep well?"

    "Boomburst? I thought I made it clear we were done with the nicknames."

    Tyson shook his head much to Shayla's annoyance. "No can do, Boomburst. I'm a nicknames kind of guy. Ashur has a nickname, I just don't use it much. He's Shy Guy. My little brother is Mad Munchlax. Nicknames all around."

    Shayla frowned and narrowed her eyes but didn't protest. "So then why Boomburst? I'm not a noivern or exploud last I checked."

    Ashur gently pushed the plate of food towards Shayla. Shayla picked up the glass of juice and plate, nodding her thanks.

    "No, but you snore like one."

    Shayla’s cheeks turned bright red and she snapped back, "I do not snore!" Uriel had always teased her about this, claiming she snored so loudly that Arceus could hear it in its deep slumber.

    "Oh yes you do. Ashur opened the door to your room earlier and it was like an entire trumpet section from an orchestra was practicing in there."

    Shayla put down her glass and plate, causing Ashur to slink away a bit."I don't snore, Tyson!" she persisted.

    Tyson turned to retort when his eyes suddenly got wide. Then a ear-piercing whine filled the air as the smoke alarm went off. Shayla covered her ears, realizing what had happened. She started to sling her hair over her shoulder when she was suddenly doused with water. Shayla glared at Tyson, the man staring back at her with a smug look on his face as he held the now empty pitcher of water.

    "Maybe I should call you Flame Body instead." Shayla rolled her eyes and groaned. She started to look around for paper towels when Ashur rushed forward with a hand towel. Shayla began to dry off her face and hair. "I thought Uriel said you didn't know any fire moves," Tyson added.

    "I don't. That was Smokescreen. I have a tendency to let off smoke whenever I get mad." Shayla pulled her hair around and showed Tyson the bottom. It was charred and black compared to the rest of her hair being a dark blue. "My hair catches on fire and released a cloud of smoke. This is the closest I've gotten to learning any fire move at this point."

    "I see. Well, I'll see if we can change that by the time we reach Castelia City. Any cyndaquil should know at least one fire move before they take on their world on their own. Now eat up. You and I are leaving as soon as you're finished."

    Shayla started to eat a piece of bacon when the statement registered with her. "Ashur isn't coming with us?" The krookodile gijinka had slipped out of the room at some point, leaving her and Tyson alone.

    Tyson shook his head. "Ashur is not the type to draw attention to himself. Those of us in the trafficking business generally try to avoid getting him involved in this sort of thing. He helps from time to time because he can’t say no, but…” Tyson trailed off and stared at the stairs. “Some people are meant to dwell within the world of crime. Ashur is not one of those people.” After a moment, Tyson gestured with his hand for Shayla to continue eating. “How about we play twenty questions or whatever like you requested last night,” he suggested, obviously trying to change topics. Shayla swallowed the piece of bacon she was munching on and nodded.

    “Okay, fine. Basic information, let’s go,” Shayla demanded before taking another bite of bacon.

    Tyson crossed his arms and shrugged a little. “Alright. As I mentioned last night, my name is Tyson Jonas, and I’m a professional smuggler. Though for all intents and purposes, my job is a mechanic. I’m twenty-eight, my weapon of choice is a chain, and I have a younger brother named Leon and a husband named Alain. Plus two kids, Nikolas and Pearl. Oh, also, I’m a steelix gijinka, in case you were wondering.”

    Shayla raised her eyebrows at that. “A Steelix? In Unova? I get we’re on a prison island but I thought your kind never ventured outside of the Kanto and Johto provinces.”

    “Yeah, I know. My brother and I were actually born in Alola. Our parents are from Kanto. They moved to Alola shortly before I was born. And before you ask, I got arrested and was sent here with my brother. That’s all I’m saying.”

    “I thought they weren’t shipping prisoners to Unova anymore,” Shayla commented.

    Tyson shrugged as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “Publicly, that’s what the Arceuian Authority claims. But there’s been several shipments of prisoners since I arrived. Apparently, this is the overflow area for prisons now. It’s why those rebellion groups like Team Plasma have gained a lot of traction lately.” Tyson blew off his coffee and sighed at Shayla’s confused expression.

    “Team Plasma?” she asked. The name sounded familiar but Shayla couldn’t quite place why.

    “Those guys with the weird costumes that keep marching all over the place chanting about liberating Unova.” Shayla nodded her head in understanding. She had seen them protesting in Nimbasa when she and Uriel had visited. She hadn’t realized they were such a big deal in Unova. Barely ever leaving the smallest town in the region had that effect. “They want to open Unova’s borders and free us from the Arceuian Authority. Personally, I’m not a huge fan. The Arceuian Authority is a pain, yeah, but we’ve got a thriving society here in Unova partially because of them. Why would you change that now?”

    “That’s… a fair point.” Shayla scrunched up her nose a little. “But I kind of agree with them. The Arceuian Authority just threw a bunch of people here for no other reason other than they didn’t want to bother us. Just because we decided to not follow directions for once in our lives. It’s like Father Arceus doesn’t want our free will to exist or something,” Shayla snarled out.

    Tyson stared at her, his expression unreadable. He took another drink from his coffee then said, “Well then, you’ll fit right in here. Other than that ‘Father Arceus’ thing. Don’t know if that’s a Sinnoh thing but we don’t call him that here. It’s disrespectful to call him anything other than the Original One.”

    Shayla flushed a little and let out a nervous laugh. “Right, got it. The Original One. Sorry… it slipped.” Tyson shook his head, as if to say it didn’t matter.

    Silence lapsed over them until Shayla finished her breakfast. Ashur had managed to stay busy upstairs the whole time, and as Shayla and Tyson packed to leave, it felt wrong to leave without a goodbye.

    Thankfully, Tyson had a similar inkling.

    “Hey Ashur! Get down here so we can say goodbye!”

    There was a thumping upstairs before Ashur finally appeared at the top of the steps. He scurried down and smiled at the two. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were leaving.” He paused for a minute, unsure of what to say, his eyes darting around the room a moment before looking at Shayla. “Stay safe, okay? Tyson’s a great escort, but once you’re outside Unova he can’t protect you, so take care of yourself.” Ashur hesitated again before looking at Tyson. “That goes for you too. And Leon. With Team Plasma rising up, all the wardens are on edge, and you’re right on the edge of the pyroar’s den living in Striaton. I’d… be really sad if I found out you got caught smuggling.”

    Shayla saw Tyson smile a bit and pat Ashur’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about us. Didn’t you say your sister, Eclipse, is visiting soon? You should get the house prepped for her arrival! We’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll even come visit you.”

    Ashur looked between the two before slowly nodding his head. “Okay… just stay safe.” Ashur turned his attention to Shayla. “You’re welcome back any time,” he said quietly before walking over to the door. He fumbled with the locks for a moment before opening the door for Tyson and Shayla. “Good luck.” Tyson saluted to Ashur before stepping out.

    Shayla offered a smile, unsure what to say that would comfort Ashur. “Our paths will cross again, one day, I promise.”

    Ashur smiled back and nodded as he said, “I’ll wait for that day.” Ashur closed the door behind Tyson and Shayla.

    As they descended the hill, Shayla noticed there was a large crowd gathering in the square. It took her a moment to recognize the Team Plasma flags and uniforms. It appeared they were hosting a rally.

    Tyson noticed it too. “****,” he muttered, “we’re going to have to wade through the crowd to get to Route 2.”

    Shayla cocked her head to the side. “Huh? Isn’t that a good thing? It would provide good cover, wouldn’t it?”

    “Not really, we’ll be the only ones not participating. Plus, no doubt this rally held up the police. They were supposed to be at Striation by now, but at this rate they could just be reaching Route 2, which is really bad. But we can’t linger with Ashur anymore either, it risks him getting caught with us, which I am not having happen.” The steelix gijinka heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head.

    “Looks like we haven’t got much choice then,” Shayla answered.

    Tyson bit the inside of his cheek then glared at Shayla. “Let me make this clear. You do not talk to anyone. You do not make eye contact with anyone. Just follow me. Got it?” Shayla nodded her head and Tyson led her down the path into the belly of the beast.

    People were marching around in a large mob, some holding signs while others were just shouting along with the chants. Tyson forcefully pushed his way through the crowd with Shayla close behind. Shayla could hear the main spokesperson of the event giving a speech from a mounted platform in the center of the crowd.

    Tyson suddenly stopped and signaled for Shayla to do the same. “Head honcho is about to make a speech. It’ll look really out of place if we keep moving now. Just hold up.”

    Shayla did as Tyson said and took the opportunity to turn her attention to the man on the raised platform not too far away. His face was relatively hidden behind a large silver hood, though she could make out one red eye. He wore large puffed up robes with what appeared to be a crown at the top in silver and blue. It was a peculiar outfit, with what appeared to be a thin silver circle with a solid dot in the center. From this dot, lines extended out in the four cardinal directions, forming smaller dots where the lines met the circle.

    “People of Unova, I, Ghetsis of Team Plasma, thank you for coming out today. Truly, it is an honor to see how many of you stand with us against the horror from the castle in the sky. After the tragedy that caused the civil war, the Arceuian Authority has truly fallen. It is time Unova frees itself from this regime. We all deserve to be free!” Cheers began to rise up from the crowd. Shayla did not mimic the sentiment. The man brought of valid points, but there was something that felt off about what he was saying. Shayla could feel it. It was almost as if his presence itself caused her to immediately distrust him. “We have Team Plasma representatives stationed around the rally. Please consult them if you wish to join Team Plasma. I thank you for your time today, but I must be off for now. I hope to see you again soon, hopefully standing by me.” More cheers rose up as Ghetsis moved off the stage and was quickly surrounded by several attendants while he was escorted away.

    The crowd began to shift as people began to make their way towards the Team Plasma attendants. Tyson grabbed hold of Shayla’s arm and started to lead her through the crowd but there were just too many people surrounding them. An individual with a pink and blue color scheme bumped into Shayla, causing her to drop her bag. It clattered to the ground and sent all of its contents sprawling.

    “Hey!” Shayla shouted, but the stranger was already gone. Shayla huffed before bending down to quickly pick up her things. Shayla scrambled to pick up everything before it got trampled, though she started to panic when she realized something was missing. Her wallet was gone! Shayla desperately looked around for it but it quickly became apparent that the guy who had bumped her was a pickpocket. “Well, that’s just my luck.”

    “Looking for this?” Shayla lifted her gaze to see a man wearing a black shirt with a white one on top and khaki pants staring down at her with her wallet in his hands. Shayla frowned a little, trying to place what gijinka he was. Something about him seemed… familiar, like she had encountered a gijinka of his species before, but she could not place it. Gallade, perhaps? No, his hair was too… poofy for a Gallade. But she wasn’t sure. Shayla noted he was wearing quite a bit of jewelry, a black ball for a necklace and bracelets on both wrists, on top of the void cube clipped to his belt. “I saw the guy bump into you then run. Your ID was on the inside.”

    “Yes, thank you.” Shayla stood up and took her wallet back, stuffing it into her bag. Well, it sounded like her ID passed the test of fooling regular people.
    The man extended his hand down to Shayla. Shayla eyed it for a split second before taking it and standing up.

    “Were you watching the announcement?” the stranger asked quietly as he released Shayla’s hand.

    Shayla brushed some of her hair from her face and shrugged. “Kinda. My friend and I were just leaving Accumula and happened to be passing through. It was interesting to hear though. I’ve been somewhat sheltered since I arrived in Unova, so I never really got to hear about Team Plasma’s stances on everything. I feel like they line up quite nicely with my own beliefs.” The stranger’s green eyes sparkled with interest and he opened his mouth to say something else when Tyson’s hand landed on Shayla’s shoulder. Shayla winced quietly as he gripped her tightly.

    “Sorry to interrupt your conversation,” he said, obviously not actually sorry, “but we need to go. Now.” Tyson nodded his head in the direction of the stranger. It took Shayla a moment to notice, but those uniforms were hard to miss. Four bisharp gijinkas in bright red were inspecting those in the crowd. Not good.

    “Ah yes, look at the time. We do need to go. I’m sorry, maybe we’ll meet again someday.”

    The stranger seemed a bit upset that Shayla had to leave so soon but kept up his soft smile. He extended his hand to Shayla again. “Yes, hopefully we will meet again. I’m N, you are?”

    “There! The cyndaquil gijinka in the middle of the crowd!”

    Shayla quickly shook N’s hand and winked. “Shayla, pleasure.” With that, Shayla and Tyson took off through the crowd, shoving people out of the way as the bisharps charged after them. “Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, please move, thank you. Hey! Move your a** I don’t want to die today! Thank you!”

    After a few shouts and rough shoves, the rest of the crowd seemed to get the memo and moved out of the way as best they could. She and Tyson emerged from the crowd within sprinting distance of the gate exiting Accumula Town. Shayla started to take off when a loud screeching assaulted her ears. Shayla cried out and covered them, but it was too late, her senses going all wonky. The sky was pink, the ground was a rainbow, and all the buildings were giant unicorns. Shayla collapsed to her knees and glanced up as a giant candy cane approached her. She could hear muffled shouts and a long licorice whip smacked the candy cane, causing it to stumble back.

    รђคץɭค! SHAYLA!” Tyson shouted, shaking her out of her daze. The crazy world melted away in an instant and Shayla blinked a few times as her senses reoriented themselves. She lifted her head towards the formerly candy cane shaped man and was surprised to find not only was he not actually a candy cane but he was also not a bisharp!

    The man wiped some blood from his face, a gash open on his cheek from Tyson’s chain. He glared at us with his bright yellow eyes through his thin glasses as he smoothed his blue hair back under his police cap. His two antennae bobbed as he straightened his hat, the bulbs at the end giving off an eerie red glow to signal the man’s very obvious anger. The air crackled around him as sparks of electricity let off loud pops. Wearing a solid black uniform with three medallions on it and patches on both his shoulders, it was obvious this guy was no ordinary soldier, he was the leader of the bisharp battalion in the area.

    “Halt! You two are under arrest for multiple accounts of smuggling and trafficking. Force can and will be used against you if you choose to resist. My orders only dictate the girl be brought in alive.”

    Tyson leveled a glare at the police captain and stepped forward, his eyes scanning the ground around them as the bisharp guards surrounded them. “Where's Chief Juniper? Doesn't she usually run these kinds of operations? I want to speak with her about this.”

    The almost sadistic expression that crossed the opposing man’s face sent shivers down Shayla’s spine. He began to laugh, causing Tyson to shift his right foot back a little as confusion crossed his expression. “Oh you’re one of Juniper’s customers, hm? Well, so sorry for you, she’s not chief anymore. If you’re lucky when we need to make you disappear you can join her in the bottom of the river in Pinwheel Forest.”

    Tyson’s grip tightened on his chain. “That’s disgusting,” he snarled, “besides, what proof do you have of us being smugglers? Can’t arrest without probable cause.”

    The man straightened a little and pushed up his glasses. “Well, for you, it’s quite easy. You’re Tyson Jonas, older brother of Leon Jonas, and a steelix gijinka mechanic that works out of Striaton City. You were arrested with your brother in Alola and deported to Unova on charges of gang affiliation and vandalism. Despite the massive decrease in the use of cars and motorcycles in the area, somehow you’ve managed to keep a steady income and been able to pay for your brother’s medical bills since you arrived. Plus, you’ve already been caught at a checkpoint once with TMs, which are explicitly illegal in any province of the Arceuian Authority.”

    The police officer turned his gaze to Shayla, causing her to shrink down a little. “She is Shayla Perkins, a cyndaquil gijinka, and foster child of an emboar and smeargle gijinka that live in Nuvema Town. She is a peculiar case, sent to Unova just last year for classified reasons that even my clearance couldn’t access.” Tyson turned his head towards Shayla, the terror obvious in her expression. Whatever it was that this police officer was talking about, Shayla obviously didn’t want it getting out. “She is also the only high profile prisoner in the Striaton City district, and as such, cannot be allowed to escape. I hope you understand.”

    “Oh I understand perfectly.” Tyson snapped his chain at one of the nearby bisharp guards, the metal weapon striking him right across the face. “If she means this much to you then I’m gonna have to ask for my pay to be double, no tripled, once I deliver her safely to the smuggling point.”

    The police officer shook his head, laughing a little. “Tsk tsk tsk, Tyson, and here I had hoped you’d be a reasonable man. I guess we’ll have to resort to… other means to get your compliance.”

    “Officer Cheren!” a female voice called. Shayla lifted her head and turned to see a girl dressed in a uniform very similar to Officer Cheren’s coming down the hill. She had green hair with a small sprout poking out through a hole on the top of her hat. Shayla recognized this gijinka immediately, the species being native to Sinnoh. This police officer was a turtwig gijinka. The female officer stumbled and took a tumble down the hill, landing at the feet of two of the bisharp guards. She quickly stood up and saluted. “The house has been set ablaze as your requested.”

    “Good, glad to hear it, Officer Bianca. And is the inhabitant inside?”

    “He refused to come outside so we presume he is still inside.”

    Officer Cheren turned his focus back to Shayla and Tyson, the sadistic grin returning to his face. “Good, the rotten smuggler deserves it.”

    Tyson stiffened suddenly and turned his gaze back up to the hill, the realization dawning on him. Shayla followed his gaze and gasped. Smoke was coming from the direction of Ashur’s house. “Ashur!” Tyson shouted, running to the edge of the circle and trying to shove his way through the guards, but there was no budging those bisharps. The only reason they weren’t skewering him right now was because they hadn’t received the order yet, but they appeared eager to do so.

    Shayla’s breathing started to come quicker, panic setting in. “You can’t do that to him!” Shayla spat out at Cheren, his hands tightening into fists. “He just offered us a place to stay. He doesn’t know anything about me and he has nothing to do with any of this.”

    “Oh but he does. He’s an accomplice. Ignorance of the law is no excuse, my dear. Now, be a good girl and put your hands behind your head, or else we might toss your escort into the fire with his little friend.”

    Shayla’s fists began to shake and she saw some of the bisharp guards step back at her visible anger. She had no doubt she was letting off a lot of smoke right now but she couldn’t help it. She was so angry, she felt like she was burning from the inside out. For the second time in her life, all she wanted was to leave and she was getting punished for it. But this time, two people were about to die for her and there wasn’t any way she could save them. It would be impossible for her to beat all the bisharp guards plus the two police officers and get up the hill in time to save Ashur.

    Shayla felt her heated anger grow in temperature with each passing second as she stared at Cheren’s smug expression. He took a step towards her and held out his hand, charging some sort of water attack to fire at Tyson, the steelix now restrained by two bisharp guards.

    “Leave him alone!” she screamed.

    Several of the bisharp guards on her side stumbled back as a weak wave of flames burst from Shayla’s body. She growled at the guards, her arms now covered in flames. Three bisharp guards try to charge her but Shayla didn’t back down, sprinting straight towards them with her arms out in front of her. One bisharp successfully managed to dodge, but the other two were struck by Shayla’s flames, causing their uniforms to catch on fire as well. Shayla lunged at the other guard, tackling him to the ground and slamming a foot into his midsection, causing the wind to leave the bisharp.

    Shayla started to get up when two more guards grabbed hold of her. Shayla tried to burn them, but they seemed unphased at the flames. She quickly noted they were wearing different uniforms, their clothes and gloves much thicker than the others. They had come prepared for a fire type it seemed. Shayla kicked and struggled, but these were trained professionals. The fact that she had gotten the surprise attack on the other three was a miracle to say the least.

    Cheren approached Shayla, electricity crackling between his fingers. “Sorry dear, but if you’re not going to comply then I’ll just have to deal with you now it seems.” He started to reach out towards Shayla when the ground began to shake. Cheren took a step back as a whirlwind of sand began to close up around him.

    “Tyson! Shayla!” a familiar voice called out. Shayla saw Ashur running down the hill, the krookodile looking quite flabbergasted. “So, so sorry! Don’t take it personally!” he shouted as more sand tornadoes began to form around the bisharp guards’ feet, rooting them in place.

    “Hey! Get back here!” Bianca shouted but found she was rooted as well. Ashur ran over to Shayla and pulled her free before she was sucked into one of the tornadoes too.

    Tyson approached, not impacted by the sand at all. “We need to move, let’s go,” Tyson said before taking off into a run. Shayla and Ashur didn’t hesitate in following, exiting through the gate and leaving Accumula Town behind in the dust.
    Last edited by Noblejanobii; 05-22-2018 at 01:56 AM.
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  3. #3
    "You are not that skilled at subtly, kid.
    Should be "subtlety."

    "But, your case is different than that.
    I think "than that" at the end is redundant. Sounds kinda weird to say out loud as well.

    we wanted to let you know that we really enjoyed having you here Ever since Mason left us,
    Should be a full stop after "here" before "Ever."

    She had known that she just hadn't wanted to accept that fate just yet.
    There should be a semicolon after the first "that." Unless the sentence is meant to be talking about the fact that she had known about not wanting to accept that fate. If that were the case, the sentence is a little awkward.

    That was a soldier for ya.
    This was weird to see in the middle of narration, because it's not from first person perspective, which means injecting flavour text like this is sort of unfitting. Especially "ya" which is informal. If Shayla thought that sentence, it'd make more sense, and if it were written in first person then it would also make sense. But like this, it's just a little odd. I don't know if I should just regard it as a stylistic choice and ignore how I feel about it though.

    Shayla shoved the bisharp away and tried to create some distance but it was much use.
    Should be "it wasn't much use."

    This guy was faster and stronger than she was, she'd have to bank on outsmarting him.
    That comma should be a semicolon because they're two separate sentences which aren't joined by any words such as "and."

    The bisharp guard glared at the man and said,

    “Mind your own business.

    These should be on the same line, rather than the glaring being in the previous paragraph. Usually character actions like this would be in the same paragraph as their speech, especially in the case of text before speech with a comma.

    Tyson stood about a foot taller than Shayla and definitely held a more muscular build than her.
    Should be "than she" at the end, not "than her."

    Lastly, I want formal introductions at some point.” Tyson rolled his eyes and glanced down at Shayla.
    Same deal as before; his action should be on a different line to Shayla's speech.

    It's still better than landing in Snowpoint or Sunnyshore if you ask me."
    It's actually "Sunyshore." Weirdly.

    The red pajamas and just woke up look that the krookodile wore gave Shayla a different impression.
    "just woke up look" should be in quotations, I reckon, because it's more of a character's observation if that makes sense. In the very least, hyphens between the words.

    Ashur, this is our guest, Shayla Perkins.
    OH MY GOD ALL OF YOUR PROTAGS ARE YOU.


    I liked it so far! I've only read chapter 1, but I'll read the next soon. :)

    There were occasions when you would have a character speak in large paragraphs without being interrupted, but especially in this situation, I feel like there would be reactions from the other character throughout the speech, rather than afterwards. When Tyson was explaining things to Shayla, it was all in one go. Then Shayla's response was more like a written response, where you reply to everything in order. It works written down, but not often in speech. I mean, obviously that depends on the characters and their situations and it does depend on many things, but it's something to keep in mind, I suppose.

    I think a lot of the errors I picked up could have been ironed out with more thorough proof reading. But some of them are recurring things like putting a comma instead of a semicolon which I know you've done since I first read a story of yours. xD Just remember where there should be a semicolon instead of a comma; if the words both sides of the comma can be sentences that stand on their own, there should be a semicolon and not a comma. (See what I did there? ;] )

    I get the feeling that Shayla is quite an important person. O: And I also wonder why she is unable to obtain a real license. Tyson seems pretty cool so far, but like Shayla, I'm super curious about what kind of gijinka he is. He seems really strong if he's able to take out a guard so quickly. Good thing that guy didn't have backup. xD

    Nice job so far! :D

  4. #4
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire
    Ashur, this is our guest, Shayla Perkins.
    OH MY GOD ALL OF YOUR PROTAGS ARE YOU.
    I LIKE USING MY NAMES OKAY! But you've met Shayla before! She was in Tri-Kappa Labs, remember? She's a super old OC of mine and originally her last name was Perkins because I'm uncreative. SO it kinda felt weird to change that and here we are.

    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire
    I liked it so far! I've only read chapter 1, but I'll read the next soon. :)

    There were occasions when you would have a character speak in large paragraphs without being interrupted, but especially in this situation, I feel like there would be reactions from the other character throughout the speech, rather than afterwards. When Tyson was explaining things to Shayla, it was all in one go. Then Shayla's response was more like a written response, where you reply to everything in order. It works written down, but not often in speech. I mean, obviously that depends on the characters and their situations and it does depend on many things, but it's something to keep in mind, I suppose.

    I think a lot of the errors I picked up could have been ironed out with more thorough proof reading. But some of them are recurring things like putting a comma instead of a semicolon which I know you've done since I first read a story of yours. xD Just remember where there should be a semicolon instead of a comma; if the words both sides of the comma can be sentences that stand on their own, there should be a semicolon and not a comma. (See what I did there? ;] )

    I get the feeling that Shayla is quite an important person. O: And I also wonder why she is unable to obtain a real license. Tyson seems pretty cool so far, but like Shayla, I'm super curious about what kind of gijinka he is. He seems really strong if he's able to take out a guard so quickly. Good thing that guy didn't have backup. xD

    Nice job so far! :D
    Yeah I had someone else point out to me about the large paragraphs thing. It's a side effect from my RPing days, according to them, which I never even really thought about. That should be largely rectified in Chapter 2. There's a few instances in chapter 2 where there's like, a large paragraph but it's more of because the situation kind of warranted it? I can explain in more detail after you read it if you'd like.

    You know what's funny is I had three beta readers on this and none of them pointed any of this out. XD And yeah, I don't see semicolons used that often so I tend to forget they exist sometimes. Hahaha whoops.

    You'll find out what gijinka he is next chapter! In fact you'll find out quite a lot about him next chapter. ;)

    Thanks! I'll look over your edits again later and see if I have any questions. I would right now but HOMEWORK.
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  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Noblejanobii View Post
    I LIKE USING MY NAMES OKAY! But you've met Shayla before! She was in Tri-Kappa Labs, remember? She's a super old OC of mine and originally her last name was Perkins because I'm uncreative. SO it kinda felt weird to change that and here we are.
    XD OKAY THAT MAKES SENSE! Don't worry, I think she's as cool as you are. B) Well you're a bit cooler. And yeah I think I remember her!
    *read Tri-Kappa labs a few years ago* xD


    Quote Originally Posted by Noblejanobii View Post
    Yeah I had someone else point out to me about the large paragraphs thing. It's a side effect from my RPing days, according to them, which I never even really thought about. That should be largely rectified in Chapter 2. There's a few instances in chapter 2 where there's like, a large paragraph but it's more of because the situation kind of warranted it? I can explain in more detail after you read it if you'd like.

    You know what's funny is I had three beta readers on this and none of them pointed any of this out. XD And yeah, I don't see semicolons used that often so I tend to forget they exist sometimes. Hahaha whoops.

    You'll find out what gijinka he is next chapter! In fact you'll find out quite a lot about him next chapter. ;)

    Thanks! I'll look over your edits again later and see if I have any questions. I would right now but HOMEWORK.
    Oh really? Haha that makes sense. Well I'll definitely check out chapter 2 today so I'll look out for it. B) And yeah, it definitely depends on the situation.

    That's because I'm the only beta reader you need. ;)

    OOO: I can't wait!

    No worries. STUPID HOMEWORK.

  6. #6
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire View Post
    XD OKAY THAT MAKES SENSE! Don't worry, I think she's as cool as you are. B) Well you're a bit cooler. And yeah I think I remember her!
    *read Tri-Kappa labs a few years ago* xD

    Oh really? Haha that makes sense. Well I'll definitely check out chapter 2 today so I'll look out for it. B) And yeah, it definitely depends on the situation.

    That's because I'm the only beta reader you need. ;)

    OOO: I can't wait!

    No worries. STUPID HOMEWORK.
    Yeah don't worry about remembering it. It wasn't a very good story to begin with. XD The point is she was the main character then too.

    Yeah, so hopefully you'll see improvement with chapter 2, but feel free to let me know if anything needs to be changed.

    lol well I mean I can post chapters here in advance, wait for you to proof read then, and then upload them elsewhere. XD

    Yeah no rush though. Though what gijinka he is will explain why Shayla doesn't recognize him but she does recognize Ashur.

    GOD I KNOW RIGHT?
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  7. #7
    Light filtered in through the thin curtains the covered the window to the far right.
    The "the" between "curtains" and "covered" should be "that"

    Josiane said she didn't remind though.
    Nice contraction of "really mind," but unfortunately not a real one. xD

    How was she asleep?
    I think this is meant to be "How long was she asleep?"

    “Good luck.” Tyson saluted to Ashur before stepping out. Shayla offered a smile, unsure what to say that would comfort Ashur.

    “Our paths will cross again, one day, I promise.” Ashur smiled back and nodded as he said,

    “I’ll wait for that day.” Ashur closed the door behind Tyson and Shayla.
    This whole exchange was confusing to read because I didn't know who spoke the second line until I reread it. Because you have Shayla's speech, but no indication that it was Shayla speaking (especially since it just said she was unsure what to say), then Ashur's action on the same line directly after the speech, I thought it was Ashur speaking, then Ashur "smiled back" at himself and spoke on a new line. xD It was really confusing. I'd suggest either changing it so there's something indicating that it was Shayla speaking right after the words, or I'd reformat it like so:

    “Good luck.” Tyson saluted to Ashur before stepping out.

    Shayla offered a smile, unsure what to say that would comfort Ashur. “Our paths will cross again, one day, I promise.”

    Ashur smiled back and nodded as he said, “I’ll wait for that day.” Ashur closed the door behind Tyson and Shayla.
    (You could even have Ashur's action after his speech be on a new line.)

    This way it makes a lot more sense. Also, again, make sure to avoid having "and said," with that comma there and then have the speech in a separate paragraph. Make sure it's always on the same line.


    “Huh? Isn’t that a good thing? It would provide good cover wouldn’t it.”
    Should be formatted as: It would provide good cover, wouldn't it?

    An individual with a pink and blue color scheme bumped into Shayla, causing her to drop her bag. It clattered to the ground and sent all of its contents sprawling. They quickly scurried off, leaving Shayla to pick up all of her belongings.

    “Hey!” Shayla shouted, but the stranger was already gone. Shayla huffed before bending down to quickly pick up her things.
    For the sake of flow, I think taking out the bolded sentence would enhance the visualisation of this scene. Everything said in the sentence is said after the speech anyway, which works best directly after the bumping action. :)

    “Yes, hopefully, we will need again. I’m N, you are?”
    OOO: It's N! Also "need" should be "meet." xD

    “Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, please move, thank you. Hey! Move your *** I don’t want to die today! Thank you!”
    Lool, I laughed at this. xD But there also need to be punctuation after ***. P.S. Where PXR bleeps out a lot of your stuff, it might be worth writing some letters and manually placing the asterisks so part of the word is readable.

    “Good, the rotten smuggler deserves it.” Tyson stiffened suddenly and turned his gaze back up to the hill,
    Another case of putting the speech from one speaker and the action of a different character on the same line: I thought Tyson was saying this about Ashur at first! xD

    “So so sorry! Don’t take it personally!”
    Comma after the first "so." ;)

    Tyson approached, not impacted by the sand hardly at all.
    There's a conflict between "not" and "hardly" here. It should be one or the other. He was hardly impacted at all, or he was not impacted at all. "Not hardly" is not grammatically correct (even if it's not in that order). xD You could say "not impacted by the sand much at all," but not "hardly." This way it's kind of like a double negative, so technically you're saying he was impacted by the sand.

    Omg so much happening!!! Awesome second chapter. :D I think it's fair to say that I enjoyed that one more than the first, because ACTION!!!!! Interesting that Tyson is a steelix gijinka! Never would have guessed myself. I enjoyed this chapter (lol I just called it an episode) a lot because it really seemed like they were in danger that they weren't going to be able to get out of. It's awesome that Shayla got her flames, but at the same time, her success was short-lived and she only got the jump on them because it was a surprise. That was a good touch. I was like "Nuuu Tyson! D:" when he was restrained and yeah, I had no idea how they were going to get out of it. Then...Ashur!! I figured he wasn't going to just stay in the house and get cooked. xD I am a little surprised that they didn't station guards outside the house in case though (unless they did and he just, like, squashed them all). I also love how he comes running down the hill apologising for attacking the guards. XD Classic Ashur.

    Bianca and Cheren being guards?! Omg! I thought they were cooler than that! But nope, they're buttpies. Well. Figured. Cheren always had a bit of a chip on his shoulder. XD And wooowwww, they killed Juniper. Rude. I get the strong sense that the authorities here are quiiite corrupt. I'm also surprised that N didn't watch the altercation, especially since he took a liking to Shayla. I didn't expect him to intervene necessarily, but surely this whole thing would have attracted a lot of attention and he was probably watching. Also I can never figure out what gijinkas people are without it being blatantly stated. XD I have no idea what gijinka he was (I'd think zorua/zoroark, but he didn't seem to represent either one), or the other non-bisharp guards. Cheren was a chinchou?

    Anyway, I'm keen to see where this goes. I really like Tyson. :3 AND OMG HE HAS A BOYFRIEND. Adorable. His criminal history sounds interesting too. I wonder what his brother is like. O: And his boyfriend. Interesting that his brother has medical bills; I wonder what for. O:

    Great chapter! Please tag me when you post a new one. :D And feel free to let me beta for you. ;3

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  9. #8
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    @Suicune's Fire Okay so HOPEFULLY this has made improvements on those changes you have recommended. Maybe? We'll see. It's weird because I was always taught a new speaker ALWAYS started a new paragraph, and that actions couldn't come before the dialogue, only after. But after you pointed it out I consulted with some other writers and it's not true. I don't remember where I learned that but hey I'll try to fix it for the future. Anywho, here's chapter 3, let me know what I need to fix oh miss beta reader baby!

    Chapter 3

    They didn’t stop running. They couldn’t risk it. They could hear the shouts from the guards growing closer with each passing second. The trio dove into the woods, avoiding the clear path to buy some time.

    Tyson fumbled with his pocket and produced a burner phone. Flipping it open, he quickly dialed a number and held it up to his ear. A few seconds later, someone answered. “Ninette? Yeah, it’s Tyson. Get Leon ready, we’re going to be leaving Striaton as soon as possible. … I’ll tell you what happened later. Just get Leon and the stuff ready. We’re going to try and wait them out in the Dreamyard. … yeah, tell him I said love you too. I’ll see you soon.” Tyson closed the phone and slid it back into his pocket. He’d have to dispose of it later.

    Tyson gestured for Shayla and Ashur to follow him. “If we get into the secluded area of the Dreamyard then we should be fine. The only thing we’d have to worry about there is the guy who owns the land and I doubt he would mind us crashing the party for a little while.”

    Staying clear of the road, it appeared to Shayla that they were venturing further and further away from Route 2. She could barely see Striaton City on the horizon, the tall dark buildings stretching high into the sky. They were heading east of Striaton though, towards whatever this “Dreamyard” place was. Shayla glanced at Ashur, the krookodile appearing to have little trouble keeping up with Tyson’s pace despite all the sweat coming down his forehead. She wondered what was going through his mind right now. Why had he saved them? Tyson had said he had always tried to stay out of the spotlight, so why did Ashur decide to change that?

    “Almost there, just be careful, this place is usually littered with ferals,” Tyson said as the forest started to thin.

    They came across the ruins of what appeared to be a science facility that hadn’t been touched in years. The walls were crumbling and had scorch marks all over them as if there had been some sort of explosion or something. Tyson slowed down and took special care to stick to the shadows as they moved through the Dreamyard. Was it because of the landowner? Was he that much of a threat or something?

    Tyson stopped after a moment, scanning around before motioning for everyone to sit down. “I think we’re in the clear for now. Ninette and Leon know where to meet us. Once we meet up with them, we’re getting out of here and heading straight for Nacrene. I’ve got a few contacts in the area that should be able to help us either lay low or get us the hell out of there.” Tyson locked eyes with Ashur then turned his attention back to the woods around them. “Sorry about getting your house burned down, man. If I had known I wouldn’t have-”

    Tyson stopped when Ashur pat the steelix gijinka on his head. Ashur smiled. “It’s alright. That house was getting old anyway. It was about time I got out of there anyway.”

    “Why did you come after us?” Shayla asked.

    Ashur cocked his head to the side in thought before shrugging. “Because it felt like the right thing to do. When you and Tyson left, I saw the police officers entering the town, so I was going to come after you to warn you anyway since I didn’t know the number of Tyson’s burner. But as I was grabbing my things, I saw they weren’t coming after you, they were coming after me with the Firing Squad. I squeezed out my bathroom window and fled before they could see me. As I was fleeing, I saw you guys getting into trouble and you know the rest.” Ashur laughed a little as he told the story.

    Shayla stared on with concern. How could he laugh about his this? “But Ashur, you lost your house,” Shayla whispered.

    Ashur gave her a warm smile. “Ah, it’s okay. I was able to save you guys, wasn't I? I must have looked pretty funny to anyone that saw me while I was climbing out the window though. Besides, Officer Cheren’s really tough, especially for you guys, since Tyson doesn’t know any ground moves yet.”

    Tyson snorted at that comment. “I could've taken him,” he boasted with a smirk.

    Asher laughed and tapped Tyson’s head. “That's not how I remember it. If I remember correctly, you nearly got done in by a bubble attack! That hardly looked like handling him.”

    “Well excuse me for being alarmed when your house was burning down!” The two men began to laugh but paused when Shayla started laughing along with them.

    After a moment, Shayla noticed that she was the only one laughing. “… was it wrong of me to laugh with you?” she asked sheepishly.

    Tyson shook his head and smiled a bit. “Hardly, you're just so serious all the time, it felt weird hearing you laugh. It's a very pleasant sound coming from you, Boomburst.”

    Shayla bristled and punched Tyson’s shoulder. “Don't call me that!” she cried out in frustration, despite the smile on her face. “I do not snore!”

    “The neighbors beg to differ,” Tyson retorted as laughter erupted from the trio again.

    Shayla sighed happily after a moment, the direness of the situation somewhat losing its impact with this sudden burst of laughter. She started to ask a question about their next move when a scream rang out across the Dreamyard.

    “Please! Stay away!” It came from deeper within the Dreamyard. Shayla furrowed her brows in frustration. That sounded like a kid’s voice. She started to stand up, wanting to investigate, only to have Tyson grab her arm.

    “Don’t. Look, I want to help too, but we have to leave as soon as Leon and Ninette get here. We can’t risk drawing any attention to ourselves,” Tyson warned.

    Shayla pulled her arm away. “I get that, but I want to see what’s going on. What if it’s a child molester or something? That’s not something that should just be left alone.”

    Tyson didn’t argue further as Shayla ventured deeper into the Dreamyard.

    The ruins were very creepy, each having a pink sheen to them like they were just figments of her imagination or something. They were obviously old and worn to time, which explained some of the dark stains on the surfaces of these walls, but Shayla couldn’t stop the shivers crawling up her spine at the sight of deep red stains. They had long since dried, but Shayla wondered what had happened here that would leave such markings. Shayla heard leaves crunch behind her and glanced over her shoulder. She saw Ashur following her from a distance. He waved with a shy grin and signaled for her to keep going. Shayla nodded and continued forward, sticking closer to the trees as she proceeded.

    The child’s cries grew louder as Shayla got closer. She could make out a few other voices too, but they were hushed, so Shayla couldn’t understand what they were saying. This area of the Dreamyard seemed a bit more illuminated than the rest, indicating Shayla was approaching a clearing or something. Then she saw them.

    Past some of the bushes up ahead, she could see two gijinkas in uniform. They were standing over a small boy with short pink hair and dressed in long robes with purple flowers all over it. Shayla ducked behind a tree to watch, Ashur coming up behind her to do the same.

    “Ah come on, kid, we just want some of that dream mist,” the first man said.

    He was facing away from Shayla, so she wasn’t able to see what kind of gijinka he was, though given she could barely make out what looked like yellow petals, she was guessing a grass type of sorts. Still, what struck Shayla as odd was that these guys were wearing what she thought were Team Plasma uniforms. Why were they beating up a kid of all things? Wasn’t one of their ideals freedom for the future generations or something?

    “Stay away from me!” the child cried in return. He tried to pull away only for the second grunt to step on the kid’s robes.

    “Sorry, kid, we tried to be nice. But we gotta have that dream mist,” the second guy said. He swiftly kicked the kid in the face, with the first man following suit.

    Shayla had zero idea what gijinka that guy was, but she had already made up her mind they were both going to the Distortion World if she could have her way. She started to stand up when Ashur grabbed Shayla’s arm to stop her.

    “Hey! Stop that!” A rock came flying past and smacked the second guy square in the face. He stumbled back before collapsing. The first guy straightened only to have a rock meet his face as well. Shayla saw two figures come into view, a woman pushing a much younger man in a wheelchair. The man was forming the third rock between his hands and growled, “I should bash your faces in! That’s not very nice at all! Don’t you guys know anything about basic gijinka decency!”

    Now free, the little boy scrambled away. He quickly dashed into a large cluster of ruins in the Dreamyard to get out of harm’s reach.

    Shayla started to move out of the way when the man in the wheelchair saw her. “Aha! So you thought you could get away didn’t you!” He chucked the rock at her but before it could strike Shayla, Ashur jumped up and smashed the rock with a bite attack. As the purple jaws crushed the stone, the man in the wheelchair went pale. “Ashur? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Tyson?”

    “He is,” Tyson said as he approached. “Leon, I’m disappointed in you. Didn’t I always tell you to not attack people unless they provoke you first? You nearly just killed our latest client.”

    The younger boy blanched and bowed his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I just saw the kid and I assumed.”

    The women pushing the wheelchair pat Leon’s head and waved to Tyson. “It’s my fault, I should have taken on the task myself. But all is well.” The woman turned to Shayla and smiled. “My name is Ninette, I’m a sudowoodo gijinka, born and raised right here in Striaton City. The onix gijinka right here is Leon. He’s is Tyson’s younger brother and I am his nanny. With Tyson gone so often on these smuggling trips, he found it was suitable for me to take care of Leon while he is gone. Plus, it frees Tyson to go out on date nights. Speaking of which!” Tyson tensed up and preemptively raised his arms to block Ninette’s slap. “I thought you were supposed to be in Nacrene to see a movie with Alain! Why are you running around escorting someone?”

    “Uh, yeah so funny story. I was actually on my way to Nacrene when I got a call from an old pal, said he needed an emergency escort. Said his daughter was a high priority prisoner and that he knew she was leaving that night. He wanted to know if I could do it. I initially was going to say no but… well the money he offered as payment would have put us substantially closer to getting out of Unova. Alain said he understood and wasn’t mad. Just told me to swing by on my way to Castelia and on my way back. Though, I doubt he meant like this. You got the stuff?”

    Ninette reached over her shoulder and placed the brown backpack she had been carrying on the ground. She tucked some of her brown hair behind her green hair clips and dug through the bag. She produced several items. “I brought everything we had in the safe. There’s the dread shard, the shiny stone, the TM and HM, the dragon scale, and the yellow flute. Leon is wearing the hard stone and you have the king’s rock. I also brought the metal coat, just in case.”

    Tyson nodded his head. “That should be enough for now. Hopefully we won’t need to sell any of it but for now… Ashur you know how to use shards right?” The krookodile shook his head. “Okay, Ninette hand me the plate.” The sudowoodo gijinka stood up and passed the dread plate off to Tyson. Ninette handed a bangle to Tyson. Tyson set the shard into the bangle and showed it to Ashur before slipping it on the krookodile’s wrist.

    Shayla tilted her head the sight of the black shard covered in strange runes. They glowed in various colors, each shifting to various different colors every few seconds. Shayla knew the stories behind these plates. They were relics of Father Arceus that had been lost long ago. Many had been retrieved, but only partially. Supposedly, shards of the plates had broken off, still able to amplify the power of the holders, albeit not as much. She had heard this myth quite often growing up since it happened when she was very young. Still, though, Shayla had to wonder how Tyson of all people had stumbled upon one of these. From the way he was handling this, that seemed to indicate it wasn’t his first time dealing with plate shards before.

    “The shard shouldn’t come out now unless you want it to. There’s a button on the inside of the bangle that will pop the shard out if it’s necessary. This is a Dread Shard so it’ll amplify the strength of dark moves like bite. Now, for Shayla, hm… you won’t really have much control on ember since you just learned it. This TM is a physical move, Dizzy Punch. You should be able to learn it a bit more easily since it’s along the same lines as Tackle, which you should already know.”

    “Dizzy Punch?” Shayla stared at the TM before frowning. “Cyndaquils can’t learn that last I checked.”

    “Not legally, no. If you were in any other region, this would not be a legal move to use in a formal competition. But, we’re already kinda breaking the rules, and this is hardly a formal challenge, so what’s breaking a few more?”

    Shayla scratched her arm, eyeing the TM a bit longer before shrugging. “Alright, how are we gonna do this then?”

    “What? Never used a TM before?” Tyson handed Shayla the disc before taking an audio player from Ninette. “I’m disappointed in you, Shayla. If you’re going to be a hardboiled criminal you’re going to need to know how to use these so you can become a true god.”

    Shayla gave Tyson a flat look and snorted. “Alright, so the show me how to use these so I can become more powerful than Fa-the Original One, himself.”

    “Alright, alright.” Tyson opened the audio player and placed the disc inside. “Place the disc in here, then put on the headphones and listen. It might take a few listens but it should be able to teach you the move. Don’t ask me the logic behind it. A guy explained it to me once but I tuned out after he started delving into quantum physics.”

    Shayla rolled her eyes at Tyson and slipped on the headset, starting up the TM audio file on Dizzy Punch. A boring voice began to play over the headphones and Shayla immediately found herself fighting to stay awake.

    “This Technical Machine tutorial is a multistage arm building test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The twenty punching reps will begin in thirty seconds. Raise your arms up in the proper position at the start. The punching speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal, bodeboop. A single rep should be completed every time you hear this sound ding. Remember to punch in a straight line and punch for as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a rep before the sound, your test is over. Repeat the test until you can meet the proper amount of reps. The test will begin with the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. Ding.”

    Shayla knit her eyebrows together and stared at Tyson in disbelief. Was she supposed to learn Dizzy Punch from this? Father Arceus above, she’d go insane if she had to keep listening to this for every TM she had to use in the future. Shayla paused the tape and started to ask Tyson a question when a loud voice caused her to tense up.

    “There, I see them! The escort and the prisoner are over there, but be careful they have backup!”

    Shayla quickly stood up as Ninette quickly gathered up all the items on the ground and shoved them back into her black hole of a bag. Leon grabbed the wheels of his chair and slowly maneuvered the chair so that it was facing back towards the entrance of the Dreamyard. He squinted his gray eyes in frustration at the approaching SWAT team led by three figures in tailored suits. Tyson stepped in front of his younger brother protectively, snapping his chain in front of him.

    “Why are there bartenders coming to attack us?” Shayla hissed out. Leon raised his eyebrows at Shayla’s question.

    “Those aren’t bartenders! They’re waiters,” Ashur corrected.

    “That doesn’t answer my question!” Shayla snapped back.

    “Those are the wardens,” Leon answered quietly, “every district in Unova has them, twelve in all.”

    Shayla glanced at the very well dressed men again. So these were the Striation district wardens. Uriel had mentioned them in the past but Shayla had never seen them before. Shayla frowned as she looked them over, trying to remember what Uriel had said about each one.

    First was Cilan, a dewgong gijinka. Uriel had warned her not to let his goofy expression with his tongue constantly hanging out and horn protruding from the middle of his head to fool her. Not only was he exceedingly dangerous due to his type advantage, but he was also a warden for a reason. He and his brothers were all master battlers from the Sinnoh region supposedly. Then there was Chili, the xatu gijinka. His green spiky hair was tied back with a red bandanna, a deceptively chill look for supposedly the most ill-tempered member of the trio. Finally, rounding out the group was Cress, the swalot gijinka. HIs purple wavy hair made him almost seem like a poisoned water type. Though, the only thing that could make him even more Kalosian looking beyond the fancy suit and thin yellow mustache would be if he was carrying a baguette and wearing a beret.

    “Your journey ends here, prisoners,” Chili stated as he approached calmly. “We have one rule in the Striation district, you should know that. You are free to do what you please. You can smuggle, escort, whatever suits you. Just don’t cause a disturbance.” He spat at Tyson’s feet and narrowed his hazel eyes. “But if that incident in Accumula Town was anything to go by, I’d say you’ve broken this rule into a million pieces. So, we’ll have to take you in and deal with you from there.”

    Shayla glanced down at her fists. She had only listened to the TM once, and not even the full way through, so using Dizzy Punch was out. But perhaps she could summon fire for ember again? Shayla took a deep breath and began to concentrate.

    “Over my dead body,” Tyson growled out.

    Chili didn’t seem to like that answer and snapped his fingers at Cress. “Poison them.” Cress took in a deep breath before spewing a black smog with purple bubbles towards the group.

    “Cover your noses and mouths!” Tyson yelled before spinning his chain, trying to blow the gas away. “That’s a tox-”

    Tyson’s joints suddenly froze up, preventing him from speaking. He couldn’t move! The poison wouldn’t affect him but the others were fair game. Tyson spotted a familiar blue glow and realized it was Chili holding him in place with psychic. There was a smug grin on the xatu gijinka’s face. Tyson so wanted to rub that smile away with the sole of his boot.

    Shayla quickly found herself reacquainted with the familiar burning sensation from inside of her. It was still so unfamiliar to her that Shayla wasn’t quite sure she could control it, but this was an emergency. Shayla took another deep breath and mentally embraced the warmth. Little flames began to form on her arms. Shayla opened her eyes and yelled, “Everybody, get down!”

    They didn’t need to be told twice. Except for Tyson, everyone hit the deck, even Leon took cover behind his wheelchair. Shayla took a deep breath and forced the warmth out like a hot breath. A weak wave of flames shot forward, seemingly harmless at first, but when the orange flickers of light met the giant gas cloud, the explosion was strong enough to knock Shayla off her feet.

    Chili was sent sprawling back, freeing Tyson, who sadly took the brunt of the explosion. He didn’t look too worse for wear, but his right ear was bleeding and his clothes all had singe marks on them. Still, he wasn’t down. Tyson snapped his chain again and formed a medium sized boulder at the end of the weapon. Using a move similar to Leon’s, Tyson slung the rock forward and took out one of the SWAT members hiding nearby.

    Her ears ringing, Shayla dizzily got to her feet right as a SWAT member started to rapid fire poison stings at her. Shayla took two the shoulder before releasing another burst of flames in the SWAT’s members direction. It didn’t seem to phase him much, but the rock to the face definitely did.

    “What are we going to do?” Ashur squeaked out as he helped Ninette get Leon back into his chair. Leon launched another rock at a SWAT member that was drawing too close, but there were just too many of them.

    “Maybe if we take out the big dogs they’ll leave us alone!” Shayla suggested.

    “Sorry, Boomburst, but that is not how SWAT teams work!” Tyson called back as he bound a SWAT member with his chain then slammed his knee into the guy’s face. Shayla scrambled to figure out what to do. Nothing came to mind. They were cornered. That was that. Would it be better to just turn herself in?

    “Now now, young lady, no need to think such heavy thoughts.”

    Shayla blinked as a shimmering figure faded into existence. He was wearing robes like the child from before, but more elegant in appearance. Instead of having a flower pattern, they faded from pink at the top to purple at the bottom, a soft pink mist appearing as they moved. The man’s eyes were closed but the red jewel in his forehead almost had the appearance of an eye from the angle Shayla was looking at it.

    He smiled down at Shayla before glaring at a nearby SWAT member. “If you will kindly take your leave and let these people be, I would most appreciate that.” The SWAT member paused before aiming some form of water attack at the stranger. The regal man sighed. “As you wish.” A green ball of light formed in his hand and he fired it at the SWAT member causing an explosion of dark green smoke and a pleasant smell to fill the air. That drew everybody’s attention.

    “Those of you that trespass on my territory, I have heard the cries of help from those that need it and hereby grant them sanctuary. From this point on, so long as they remain within my lands, you cannot touch them.”

    Shayla could see Chili’s face growing bright red in anger. “Do you realize what you’re doing by agreeing to this, Jardim?” Chili asked with a low growl.

    The man only smiled and nodded his head. “Why of course, granting sanctuary to those who need it most, like I’ve always done. Though, you are free to take these two hoodlums off my hands.” Jardim snapped his fingers and the two Team Plasma members were teleported in front of Cilan. “I have no need for them. Now, the rest of you, come along.”

    Shayla glanced at her teammates. Ashur seemed just as unsure as she was, but Tyson, Ninette, and Leon didn’t seem bothered by the proposition at all. Tyson signaled for Shayla and Ashur to follow.

    Led by Jardim, the group was taken to the deepest point of the Dreamyard, where Shayla had seen the young boy fleeing earlier. At first glance, it appeared to be in just as worse for wear shape as the rest of the Dreamyard, but as Jardim drew closer to the ruins, they began to shimmer and the illusion faded away. The ruins were replaced with a medium sized building with white walls and flora surrounding the whole place. It was quite the juxtaposition to its surroundings.

    As Shayla scanned the house, she noticed several faces in the various windows of the house. At first, she only spotted gijinkas, but as she looked further, she started to spot a few ferals as well. It was strange since she had always been told ferals were dangerous creatures that were not to be messed with. Yet, they seemed to be quite tame just from how they appeared through the windows of the house.

    “Welcome, travelers, to my sanctuary, the Dreamyard. I am the landowner and caretaker, Jardim Affini. You are welcome to stay here as long as you like. You would not be the first group in your situation that I have granted sanctuary to in the past.” Jardim’s robes gently swept across the ground as he opened the door. Shayla felt a smile spread across her face when she saw the familiar face of the young boy poking his head around the corner of the front door. He quickly ducked out of sight, but it was uplifting to know he was okay.

    “Thank you, Jardim, we appreciate your kindness,” Tyson replied as he bowed to the man. “Without your intervention, I do not think we would have made it out of that situation in any other way than in body bags or handcuffs.”

    Jardim brushed back some of his long pink hair and sighed. “Yes, it was not a favorable situation for you all. Normally, I would not intervene, since you did not ask for sanctuary, but you saved my child. He vouched for you. No true criminals would have intervened to protect my son.” Jardim approached the house and opened the door. “Please, come inside so that we might properly thank you.”

    Shayla looked at the house before following the others inside. They would have to leave eventually, or at least she would. But for now, she supposed it was a good time for a rest. For now, she could settle for a place to sleep and a meal of any kind, which Jardim seemed happy to provide

    EDIT: @Suicune's Fire I updated the chapter a bit just fyi.
    Last edited by Noblejanobii; 05-22-2018 at 02:00 AM.
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  10. #9
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Hey guys guess what! As part of a Secret Santa event for a discord server I'm in, we got some fan art for Rising Smoke!

    Spoiler:



    This was done by Umberoff, the author of the nuzlocke comic Wringlocke. It's a really good comic that I highly recommend checking out. The art is good and the story is really compelling.
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  12. #10
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    So I bet what you didn't know is that today is Leon's birthday! You've barely gotten to meet our little onix brother so here's a little extra for you starring he and his brother, Tyson!

    Just for clarification, this takes place a few months before the events of Rising Smoke.

    Extra #1: A Snowy Birthday

    Tyson took a deep breath as the smell of hot chocolate wafted through the room. He took a sip from his mug and glanced out the apartment window. It was a cold morning on this day, January 14. It was so cold, in fact, that for the first time since Tyson and Leon had arrived in Unova, it was snowing in Striaton City. It wasn’t Tyson’s first time seeing snow. He had a vague recollection of sledding with his extended family in Kanto many years ago. However, for Leon, this would be quite the experience, especially since it was Leon’s birthday.

    “Morning, Tyson!” Leon called as he wheeled into the room.

    Tyson turned his attention away from the window and walked over to his younger brother. He ruffled Leon’s hair and hugged him. “Morning, Leon, and happy birthday.” Tyson gestured to the window and asked, “Did you see it’s snowing?”

    Leon nodded his head eagerly, a grin forming from ear to ear. “It’s so pretty, just like you said! Can we have a snowball fight, Tyson? Or maybe make a snowman? Or at least let me sit out in the snow for a little bit! Please please please!”

    Tyson chuckled and pat Leon’s head. “You seriously think I’m going to just let you sit out in the snow when there are some perfectly good hills on Route 3 that are perfect for sledding?”

    Leon gave Tyson a confused look. “But Tyson, we don’t own a sled.”

    Tyson winked at Leon. “Come on, birthday boy, check out your presents on the table while I grab you some breakfast.”

    Leon gasped excitedly. He turned his attention to the presents on the table in the center of the room. He shot over to them as Tyson went to the kitchen area and began to cook breakfast for Leon. Tyson smiled to himself as he heard Leon tearing through the wrapping paper like a fiend.

    “A sled!” Leon shrieked in excitement, causing Tyson to burst into a fit of laughter. “And gloves and a hat! Tyson, did you get us both snow gear?”

    Tyson raised his hands in surrender and glanced at his brother over his shoulder. “Guilty. When I made that Nimbasa run earlier this week there were rumors that the snow would reach us so I went ahead and splurged a little to make sure we were prepared. And since that wheelchair of yours isn’t exactly snow compatible, I decided we would have to get you a sled to make sure you can still zoom around.”

    It didn’t take long for Leon to scarf down his breakfast and for the brothers to get changed into their new winter gear. Tyson grabbed the sled then helped Leon climbed onto his back. Tyson could tell Leon was feeling anxious and impatient as they went down in the elevator. But soon enough, Leon got his wish. Tyson heard Leon gasp as they stepped outside the apartment complex.

    “You want me to sit you down?” Tyson asked.

    “Yes!” Tyson bent down and carefully helped Leon maneuver onto the snow. He laid on his stomach and closed his eyes. It was so cold and wet but it felt so nice. “Why can’t it snow more often?” Leon asked quietly.

    Tyson chuckled and shrugged. “Maybe because we wouldn’t treasure it as much if it did. You want to make snow angels?”

    “Sure. I bet mine will look prettier than yours!” Leon challenged.

    Tyson flicked Leon gently on the side of the head. “That’s where you’re wrong, bro. My snow angels are the best in all of Unova!”

    Leon pushed himself over onto his back and began to flap his arms like wings, watching Tyson do the same and adjusting to make sure his arms were going faster. Tyson helped Leon move away from the spot when they were done.

    “Now those are some fine looking snow angels,” Tyson boasted. He grinned until he saw Leon’s somewhat said expression.

    "Mine doesn’t look like a regular snow angel,” he murmured.

    Tyson paused before shaking his head. “So what? It obviously looks better than a regular snow angel! Soon enough people will be so enamored with it they’ll call them Leon angels!”

    Leon broke out into laughter and hugged Tyson. “Yeah right. That’s about as likely as me beating you in a snowball fight.”

    Tyson raised his eyebrows. “Oh? You want to challenge me and find out?”

    Leon thought it over for a moment before nodding again. “Yeah! Yeah sure why not! But uh, first you’re going to need to show me how to make a snowball.”

    Tyson reached out to a clump of snow and picked it up. “It’s really easy. Just got a good chunk of snow and roll it in your hands like this so that it’s in a ball shape. See? Then…” Tyson quickly grabbed the back of Leon’s neck and smashed the snowball into Leon’s face.

    “Hey!” Leon cried, trying to wipe the snow off his face.

    “Then you do that.”

    Leon glared at his brother before grabbing a large glop of snow and throwing it at him. “Like that?”

    Tyson tried to block the snow and shook his head. “You forgot to make it into a ball first,” he teased.

    Leon rolled his eyes. “Oh, my bad. Now come on, go somewhere else so we can prep for our epic snowball war.”

    “Oh it’s a war now is it?” Tyson asked, “Alright alright. I’ll be over there if you need me.” Tyson stood up and walked over to a new spot where he began to build a snow fort.

    Leon moved slowly at first, trying to make each snowball as carefully as possible. However, as he got the hang of making the snowballs, he began to produce them a lot quicker, until he had a mountain of snowballs beside him. Glancing over in his brother’s direction, Leon saw that Tyson’s back was to him. A mischievous smirk split across his face as Leon picked up one of the snowballs. He hurled it in Tyson’s direction and smacked him splat in the back.

    Tyson paused and glanced up from his work. “Oh? Have we started?” he asked.

    “Oh yeah! And I got the first strike!” Leon boasted.

    “Nice work, brother, now it’s my turn.” Tyson stood up and lifted up a giant snowball in his arms. “Ready?”

    Leon’s eyes went wide and he began to scramble to slide back to get away from Tyson’s giant snowball. “Have mercy!” Leon cried as Tyson walked over to him.

    Tyson paused in thought before laughing and saying, “No.” He dropped the giant snowball on Leon, burying the poor kid in the snow.

    Leon sputtered as he surfaced from underneath the snow. He didn’t hesitate to return fire, grabbing as many of his snowballs as he could and throwing them point blank at Tyson. Tyson held up his arms to shield his face from the rapid-fire assault. When he felt the snowballs stop, Tyson collapsed to the ground laughing.

    Tyson reached over and brushed some of the snow off Leon’s toboggan.”That was quite the revenge strike. I think you won that one, huh? I didn’t stand a chance.”

    Leon grinned and punched Tyson’s shoulder lightly. “Well if you had actually made more than that giant snowball it might have been a real fight.”

    “That’s a fair point,” Tyson replied, “I’ll keep that in mind next time. But you know what? This wreckage seems like it’s perfectly reusable to build a snowman. What do you think?”

    “Yes! Yes yes yes!” Leon chanted excitedly. “How do we do that?”

    “Well, you start off the same way as a snowball.” Tyson formed a ball in the snow and showed it to Leon. “Except we’re going to want to make it a lot bigger. Then once it’s big enough we’re going to start rolling it around. So how about I continue this one and you start another one?”

    “Ooh! Can we make a snowonix?” Leon requested.

    Tyson tapped his chin in thought before shrugging. “I don’t see why not. We’re going to need...about fourteen giant snowballs then though, don’t you think?”

    Leon counted on his fingers before nodding. “Yeah, I believe that’s right. That wild one we saw on Ten Carat Hill was fourteen rocks long.”

    “Well, then we have no time to waste! Let’s get to work!”

    Tyson took charge of rolling the snowballs in the snow once they were big enough to start rolling while Leon supplied him the snowballs he needed to roll. Once they had fourteen decent sized snowballs, the brothers lined them all up and began to shape them some. Adding a spike to the head and carving out a face, after about an hour their snowonix was complete.

    “Looks great huh? It’s going to be the envy of our neighbors when they get back from sledding!” Tyson boasted, hugging Leon close. “Speaking of which, you ready for the main event?”

    “Am I! Come on, carry me out to Route 3 already!”

    Tyson picked up Leon and placed him on the sled. Taking one last glance at their masterpiece, Tyson smiled and began to run through the snow-covered streets of Striaton City towards Route 3. It was quite peaceful in the city. There weren’t many people outside either because they were on one of the neighbor routes or because, since it normally didn’t snow this south on the Unovian continent, they were staying warm inside. However, as the brothers approached Route 3, the atmosphere changed.

    Laughter echoed across the snowy landscape as people of all ages played in the snow. There were even a few more daring gijinkas out ice skating on the frozen water. Tyson glanced back at Leon and saw his younger brother’s eyes light up with wonder. With the trees and buildings all covered in snow and the sun causing everything on the route to sparkle, it was a truly magical sight. But Tyson and Leon weren’t here to take it all in; they were here to shred some hills.

    Tyson pulled Leon across Route 3 towards Wellspring Cave. They approached a thicket of trees before Tyson turned and began to take them up a hill. It didn’t take long to reach the top. Tyson turned the sled around and handed the reins to Leon.

    Leon stared at the reigns and glanced at Tyson. “You’re letting me steer?” he asked.

    Tyson sat down on the back of the sled and nodded. “Yep. I’ll be able to slow us down if we look like we’re about to crash so don’t worry. I want you to have fun with this. It’s your sled, after all, birthday boy.”

    Leon’s eyes lit up and glanced down the hill. “Okay, let’s do this!”

    Tyson pushed off and the sled began to slide down the hill. They steadily picked up speed as the metal blades raced against the cold snow. As the wind whipped against Leon’s face, he began to scream and whoop, a feeling of exhilaration overtaking him. It was over too soon. As they neared the bottom of the hill, Tyson dug his heels in to slow them down to a stop.

    Tyson stood up and leaned down to Leon. “You want to go again?”

    “Yes! Why can’t it snow all the time? This is so much more fun than riding around in a wheelchair everywhere!”

    Tyson chuckled and began to pull Leon back up the hill again. Once they got back to the top, they raced back to the bottom only to start all over again. Leon screamed his heart out each time they went down the hill, never losing his smile until he realized the sun was setting, which meant they had to go home soon.

    Tyson noticed it too and smiled sadly at Leon. “Sorry, birthday boy. I know you want to keep playing but we should probably head back. There’s a birthday cake waiting for you in the fridge though so it’s not a total loss,” he said with a wink.

    Leon glanced around at the snowy landscape surrounding him. It was still very pretty though in some places the show had been totally cleared from where kids had been sledding. He looked up at Tyson and asked, “Can we come back out tomorrow?”

    Tyson looked around before shrugging. “If the snow hasn’t melted by tomorrow morning then sure, I don’t see why not. Gotta make use of this sled while we can, right?”

    A grin spread across Leon’s face again and he nodded eagerly. “Right! So I better eat that cake quick so I can go to bed and get up early to start sledding again.”

    Tyson chuckled and said, “This is the first time I’ve seen you eager to go to bed in years. Well, I can’t ignore the birthday boy’s demands now can I? Alright, off we go!”

    Tyson began to pull Leon back to their apartment complex. The two brothers smiled when they saw their snowonix still resting outside as if bidding them a last farewell before they departed from the snow for the day. Tyson picked up Leon and carried he and the sled inside. They changed out of their wet clothes in a warm set of fuzzy pajamas then sat around their kitchen table to blow out the birthday candles.

    “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to my favorite brother, happy birthday to you.” Leon took a deep breath and blew out the nineteen candles that decorated his cake. Tyson hugged Leon and squeezed him tightly. “So what’d you wish for?”

    Leon glanced at his cake before turning to Tyson. "I wished that we would finally get to leave Unova."

    Tyson ruffled Leon’s hair a little and smiled. “Ah man, that sounds like a great wish. I hope it comes true too.”
    / / / / / / / /
    Avatar by Soggymint
    Double Agents with Suicune's Fire

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