[WAR] The Nature of Things

[Tenacity]

THE NATURE OF THINGS

The Mandibuzz circled in the sky.

---

Below on the ground the Gomazou herd, a medium-sized tribe of Donphan and their offspring, grazed the plains of the Desert Resort in search of vital nutrients. The Resort was named due to the areas of the desert that no trainer, experienced or otherwise, could reach. Miles upon miles of sand separated the desert from any kind of human civilisation. Few had dared venture the stretch of sand, but those who did simply had to turn back. The desert was not kind to humans. For many wilds, though, the Resort was a paradise, but only as a comparison to other habitats. Even though the threat of capture and poaching was non-existent in this place, every creature, from the smallest Darumaka to the largest Krokorok, was still subject to the unrelenting wrath of Mother Nature. Parched mouths. Barren stomachs. Predators behind every dune. The desert was not unprepared to take life.

Some days were luckier than others. For the Gomazou, today was such a day – blue trunks coiled around desert shrubbery, filling bellies that had gone days without food. The Phanpy children fed on the roots first, weaker than their parents from days of searching for something to eat. They were watched closely by their elders. There was no certainty that there was enough food to go around for the young. The Donphan eyed their children tensely, waiting until they were full until tucking into the plants themselves. Triumphant trumpets soon sounded from the trunks of the young; they were well fed. One calf bumped another playfully with its trunk. The other responded by wrapping their trunks together; a sign of respect. Morale for the group was high.

One of the Donphan, the leader of the herd, looked over the horizon. Its ears twinged in anticipation. More experienced trunks inhaled the air, them too sensing that something was coming. Their nostrils were filled with the smell of hot coal, making their eyes water. Water. That was not a resource that the body should waste. Surmounting a dune and fast approaching the Gomazou was a wild Darmanitan. The Darmanitan’s fists kicked up gusts of sand behind it as it ran, transforming the tiny grains into shards of glass with the fires blazing on its wrists. The red behemoth was drawing near. The leader of the herd raised its trunk towards the sky and powerfully forced air through its nostrils. The noise boomed throughout the desert, an echo bursting through the sky. The Darmanitan did not seem fazed; it remained on its route towards the Gomazou. It was defying the leader’s warning. The herd had no option. Darmanitan were capable of taking out entire herds if they had the tact. They had to retreat.

The leader of the herd turned to the others and let out another powerful trumpet. It curled into a ball, indicating that the others should do the same. The whole herd curled up and shot forward, traversing the dune in an attempt to escape the Darmanitan. Nothing could put out the Darmanitan’s fire, however. It is a well-known fact that very few can out-speed a raging Darmanitan. Although the Gomazou herd were several metres ahead of the Darmanitan by the time they began moving, the ape-like Pokémon soon caught up. It locked eyes on one of the young calves and licked its lips through a toothy grin. The young ones were always easier to pick off. The Darmanitan inched closer and closer to the rolling sphere. It pounced. The Darmanitan closed its eyes as it locked its jaws around tough elephantine flesh. It could hear a low squeal as its teeth punctured the skin. Upon opening its eyes, an elderly Donphan looked back, her trunk trapped firmly in the Darmanitan’s maw. The rest of the herd rolled onwards, accepting the Donphan’s actions as a necessary sacrifice. The calf remained, however. It could not simply abandon its mother.

The Darmanitan unclenched its jaw and released the Donphan’s trunk. It once again lunged for the Phanpy calf, dissatisfied with the Donphan as its target, only to be knocked on its side with a charge from the Donphan. The Fire-type’s body thudded into the sand. The Darmanitan thrusts its fists forward after regaining its balance. They collided into the Donphan’s jaw, producing an audible crack. The power was incomprehensible, incomparable to any other fight she had been in. The Donphan, however, knew the law of desert creatures. A creature, when startled, very rarely stuck around for a fight. She wrapped her trunk around the blazing wrists of the Darmanitan. The flames seared through her already dry skin, and caused her to wince. The smell made the Darmanitan’s mouth water with joy. With all her might, the Donphan hurled the Darmanitan into the air and slammed it into the ground. Pain fizzed through the red Pokémon’s body as it lay on its side in the desert sand. Dazed, the Darmanitan stood up again and began to back away. The Phanpy was lucky. This one lacked the guts to fight. The Darmanitan turned on its heels and blitzed away from the duo, back into the desolation of the desert.

The Donphan was not so lucky. She sprawled her body atop the desert’s dust, too weak to keep up her weight. She knew it was no good. Trunk - seared shut. Legs - tired and aching. Jaw - broken. Her eyes glazed over. She looked at her child. She tried to make a noise, anything to let him know it would be okay. But her jaw was broken. It was simply too much pain to attempt. The Phanpy sided over to her, cooing noises of comfort. He placed his trunk upon her face. He stayed with her for the entire night as she breathed her last breath.

---

He was alone.

The Mandibuzz arrived the next morning. They squawked at him, the calf adamantly trying to protect her body. She was unrecognisable after several hours of eating, by which point the birds had decided to leave him alone. He was alive, after all.

Alive, yet alone. That’s just the nature of things. He trundled onwards. He had to regroup with the Gomazou.

[Grassy_Aggron]

Interesting story, I must admit. I like the wild animal approach, and Donphan and Phanpy was a nice touch. That being said, I felt this was a bit too short, and I couldn't really get attached to the baby Phanpy. How does a Darmanitan take out an entire herd? I would have liked to know more on this.

This story has potential, and I would like to see it expanded upon, but I really feel the shortness here hampered the story rather than helped it. Now, you don't need to write a novel to tell a good story, but it's always important to put some character attachment into a story so the readers can feel the loss. The Donphan dying wasn't even really that sad, honestly. The emotion just wasn't there.

I encourage you to keep going, though, I can see you are on the right path and experimenting! I look forward to seeing what new stories you write <3

[Tenacity]

Interesting story, I must admit. I like the wild animal approach, and Donphan and Phanpy was a nice touch.

Thank you. I wanted to take a different approach to the other entrants by not focusing on such a 'domesticated' stance of death. :)

That being said, I felt this was a bit too short, and I couldn't really get attached to the baby Phanpy. How does a Darmanitan take out an entire herd? I would have liked to know more on this.

This story has potential, and I would like to see it expanded upon, but I really feel the shortness here hampered the story rather than helped it. Now, you don't need to write a novel to tell a good story, but it's always important to put some character attachment into a story so the readers can feel the loss. The Donphan dying wasn't even really that sad, honestly. The emotion just wasn't there.

Oh, definitely. xD It was certainly rushed due to the time constraints. I thought about this, and I think half the problem was with the use of omniscient narration. I was telling the audience lots of information, such as about the desert and how it is inaccessible to humans, and all of the characteristics of the Darmanitan. Such information could have been portrayed as actual scenes, such as people attempting to access the area and failing, or a previous scene showing a Darmanitan actually taking out a herd. That way, when the Darmanitan shows up and attacks the Gomazou, it'd have more presence. Perhaps I can work on this post-contest in order to add that in. :)

Another problem, I think, is the fact that none of the individual members within the herd stand out. Although this is much how we view wild animals in real life (with no particular member of a group of animals standing out unless they do something unusual or look unusual), you're right that it did make the Donphan mother's sacrifice lack depth and emotion. I think I focused too much on it being an accurate portrayal of how wild Pokemon would behave than on the individual characters themselves, and the story suffered as a result.

I encourage you to keep going, though, I can see you are on the right path and experimenting! I look forward to seeing what new stories you write <3

I will. :) Hopefully this week will produce some better work. Thank you for your comments. <3