[WAR] Season II: Creative Writing

[Neo Emolga]

Here we go!

Ah, I can tell not too many people were up to braving this final challenge, or they got too busy. Those of you who did, kudos, I definitely know it must have been pretty tricky to work with. In any case, it's great to see some of you were still spunky enough to step up to what was definitely a tough, final challenge! Give yourselves a pat on the back, I knew it couldn't have been easy. You all get bonus bravery and cool points.

WEEK #4

FINAL THEME: WHAT A DAY! WHAT A LOVELY DAY!

Congratulations on reaching the final round! You've made it through Pokémon being rewritten into mankind's history books, epic superheroes and powers, and the deepest plunge into fantasy you've ever dreamed of! We've broken the rules, made new heroes, distorted the timestream, and gone above and beyond imagination itself! After all that epic craziness and now that your long and incredible writing journey is coming to the last leg of the race, what could possibly be more challenging than what you've faced already? As the final arena of literary battles lies before you, what shadowy figure now emerges to be the ultimate final boss of this incredible and epic journey!?

It's me. MAH HA HA HA HA!

Yes, folks, for years... I've always wanted to do this and I feel it would make for one epic and incredible final challenge. Get your wits, keyboards, and word processors ready, because it's time to crank them into full overdrive.

As the Fallout, Mad Max, Book of Eli, and Borderlands junkie I am, I'm a sucker for a great, post-apocalyptic settings with ruined cities, wild combat, struggling for survival, and even a little humor dashed in. Whether it's a freaked-out zombie apocalypse or intense desert fighting in a world were political correctness and formality has no place, show me your best story that takes the aftermath of a messed-up world and showcases the struggle that goes into trying to put it all back together. Satisfy the action and battle freak in me and prove the apocalypse is just the end of one beginning going into another!

The nature of the cataclysm is totally up to you! Whether your story takes place after nukes incinerated the world, zombies went wild, some natural disaster caused mass destruction, or something totally unexpected wiped most life and civilization off the planet, it's up to you to choose what you want to create and how you want to make it work.

And that's not all! Not only is the theme based on some of my favorite stuff, but so are the parameters!

Parameters

1. And Neo is My Name-o: Your story must feature an Emolga. You leave this out and I'll... *thunder rumbles*
2. Big Muscle: I'll have you know I drive a black Dodge Challenger and I LOVE THAT CAR! Guess what car you're featuring in your story? Make good use of it too!
3. Angelic Firepower: I also have a strong liking to angels and think they're awesome. Ooh, we're getting tough now by stepping into the supernatural, aren't we?
4. Here There Be Dragons: "We need to feature dragons now too? Are you kidding!?" No, I'm not, because I think they're cool also! You can work them in there! Go all Sucker Punch if you have to! (actually, this kind of wild movie would be a great way to start thinking about how you want to do this).
5. Stand For Something: The words "Forever Gold" must appear somewhere in your story. It's a motto I've enjoyed using for years ever since Superboy told me to "Stay Gold." In your story's context, it needs to have some meaning and significance.

CAN YOU RISE TO MEET THE FINAL CHALLENGE!?

THE RESULTS!

[GOLD - 3 POINTS] FIRST PLACE - Forever by Pokémon Trainer Sarah (Team Trainer)
[SILVER - 2 POINTS] SECOND PLACE - Angelfire by FedoraChar (Phoenix Battalion)
[BRONZE - 1 POINT] THIRD PLACE - Consequential by Suicune's Fire (Jupiter Mining Corporation)

THE REVIEW RUN!

Angelfire by FedoraChar
The Phoenix Battalion

Originality (20/20)
Following Objectives (29/30)
Spelling and Grammar (10/10)
Flow and Transition (18/20)
Hook and Interest (18/20)

TOTAL: 95/100

I like the easy-going opening and where you took the idea of "melting of reality." Given the parameters I put you guys through, I definitely don't blame you guys for doing that!

Also:

“He’s an Emolga,” Aarin corrected. Next to him, the squirrel alighted on his shoulder and winked, holding its fingers up in a peace sign.

I love him already!

I like how you worked with all the parameters. You took a task that most others probably thought was too difficult and you made it work beautifully. You also created a great cast of characters out of it as well! What you did with the dragon's speech was also a nice touch. An awesome attack team of angels with an Emolga as a helper taking down a dragon... you found my happy place.

Spelling and grammar was perfect, didn't see any mistakes there, so perfect score for you.

The only things I would change mainly come from the ending that just seemed to end a bit abruptly. Everything was going pretty well, and having the angel team take down the dragon was a great moment, but wrapping it all up with a nice conclusion finisher would have been sweet. Something about the town being saved, touching base maybe one last time on the "Forever Gold" element to humanity, and then finally wrapping it up with where the angels and their manticore and the "over-excited flying squirrel" go from there. Still, it was a great read!

Forever by Pokémon Trainer Sarah
Team Trainer

Originality (20/20)
Following Objectives (28/30)
Spelling and Grammar (10/10)
Flow and Transition (19/20)
Hook and Interest (20/20)

TOTAL: 97/100

Definitely a great, descriptive opening. You definitely make the reader feel bad for what Maya and Henry have to go through, but it does make you wonder how it all happened.

And the part with the Interlude was great. Leave it to those guys on Cinnabar Island to mess everything up! The whole premise with Pokémon becoming infected and causing the apocalypse was a fantastic idea. Ah man, you make me really want to make an RP out of this. These ideas are fantastic.

Part II definitely made great use of the dragon parameter with the Charizard, matched well with a lot of excellent description in there. Henry's encounter with the young girl and the baby Emolga was also very well executed, and does help explain how things used to be before the viral infection broke out.

The Challenger and the angels didn't get as much attention as I was kind of hoping for, but you did AWESOME with the Emogla and the Forever Gold parameters! I really like what you did there! The ending was also really well done and gives a nice perspective on hope for the future even after so much disaster.

Excellent job there. :D

Consequential by Suicune's Fire
Jupiter Mining Corp.

Originality (18/20)
Following Objectives (24/30)
Spelling and Grammar (10/10)
Flow and Transition (16/20)
Hook and Interest (18/20)

TOTAL: 86/100

I like this kind of "calm before the storm" opening you decided to go with. It's easy to dislike Lem Jeremy, and Garth, so I wasn't too worried if they got attacked by wild Pokémon or fried extra crispy. But it does make you curious about what happens!

And when Blood Venom does attack, you have quite a HECK of a fight break out! It was a little bit tricky to follow, but I figure that's probably intentional as it would be fast-moving and bewildering with what was going on.

One qualm I have is you made good use of the post-apocalyptic setting and the parameters did get mentioned, but some of them were very touch and go and once they got mentioned, the story just left them behind and didn't really use them again. And when they did get mentioned, they didn't really have too much of a role in the story.

I think the flow and transition area is the part where I had a tricky time following, and that might be mainly from the lack of breaks between paragraphs (Yeah, it's a bit annoying how forums don't recognize indents from copy and pasted text. XP). Also, yeah, it did seem a bit rushed and it was a bit tricky to determine the sequential order of things.

Overall, it was good and I like the ending you had. That, to me, was a great finisher and almost demanded a sequel right then and there.

[Neo Emolga]

IN CLOSING

Guys, thank you for making the Creative Writing section for WAR Season II an absolute blast. Whether you were in it all four weeks or only submitted stuff for one, everyone's stories had fantastic creative sparks to them and I enjoyed reading them. Like I said before, you guys make it a treat to be Creative Writing judge. The level of participation this year was fantastic and I'm glad so many people got in on this.

I hope you guys had fun with it, and I'm open to all discussion about what you liked about the section, what things you feel could have been improved a bit, or whatever you'd like to share about the section and your experiences with it. I also hope my reviews on each story were helpful and insightful. If there was anything you wanted clarified or explained further, I'll gladly go into deeper detail, but yeah, when I was reviewing eight or nine stories within a day and had to get judging results in before the end of the day, I kind of had to make things quick.

But yeah, feel free to share your thoughts and ideas. If we ever have something like this again or involves writing, I'll definitely keep in mind what you guys say to make the experience even more fun and enjoyable and to improve on the kind of system I put into action here.

Cheers and good times to all.

[Suicune's Fire]

Yep, that's pretty much what I expected. xD I should have gone for something short. It's one of those things where it looks good in your head but then executing it really doesn't work out how you planned. I expected the parameters to have more significance but yeah...in the end, couldn't force them in. I'm a bit disappointed that I wasted so much time on it, but that's the learning process, right? xP

Congrats to Sarah and Char! :D You guys obviously had awesome stories. c:

[FedoraChar]

WOOOOOO! :D Congrats, everybody! This has been a real blast! And thank you for hosting, Neo! I really liked the themes we had this year, especially with the little parameters that added that extra touch of challenge. It was really fun trying to figure out how to get them all to tie in. Your reviews were always super helpful and encouraging--the best! :D

Mad shout-out to everyone who participated this year, too! There were some awesome stories out there! :D

[Elysia]

Haha, the final week's theme turned out to be waaaaaay 3 stronk 5 me also real life hit like a truck; working is no bueno ;-;, but I just wanted to say congratulations to all of the entrants for all of the weeks. We did it! Eyyyyyyy you guys are all superstars and have taught me so much about how to write an entertaining story while still adhering to an extremely tight but awesome set of rules. Thanks for hosting, Neo! You put in a ton of work and I feel like my appreciation for that needs to be written down somewhere so you can read it, but I also feel like I should keep it short since I made you read so much already, heh. ^^

[Morzone]

That's a great point! Three cheers for Neo our awesome creative writing judge!