King of the Hill!

[Dragotech]

Equips rocket boots and a box of banana peels... flies up the hill. AIRDROPS BANANA PEELS... Needless to say... the assault of the peels causes you to slip like in the cartoons... and you fall to your untimely defeat as I land on the hill.

My Hill... in New Zealand

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I pay Velocity into manipulating her Star Carpet into making an 'ancient' prophecy that tells YOU go on an epic journey to buy a FERRARIMOBILE at the other edge of the Galaxy, lest the galaxy be turned into NOTHINGNESS, by the forces of AN INCREDIBLY VAUGE EVIL THAT MAY OR MAY NOT EXIST!!

You go and attempt to do just that, while Velocity, having been paid, leaves the hill (for now). I reclaim my hill, and send you off on your journey.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I use my mind-bubbling heaps of cash to buy a new, completely inedible and otherwise indestructible velociraptor army which I ride into battle. Your attempts to eat my army are met with failure, and you flee in terror. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Goldwynaut, the Trolling Ninja Lich of Pe2k KOTH fame comes and attempts to back stab you and take the hill from you once you've settled in. I, all too familiar with his many attempts to back stab me off the hill, stop this attempt by intercepting his leap at your neck and slamming him into the jaw of one of your velociraptors, which OHKO's him due to his pitiful 'defense.' You thank me and vacate the hill for my occupation, while I kick Goldwynaut to Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

After my velociraptor army and I conquer the whole universe in the span of a mere few days, we return to the hill to make our final conquest. We agree to give you control of a minor province in exchange for your loyalty and the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...Except, due to the fact that you forgot my Hill was on New Zealand, which is my weapon, you are hurled off my hill instantly as I swing my mighty New Zealand-Ax, sending you and your Velociraptors off of my land. Before you're capable of launching a counterattack at me, I use my reality-warping powers to abort your 'invincible' Velociraptors out of existence like a total boss.

Knowing that you'll just find more of them (somehow), I summon Laharl, Overlord of the Netherworld (or at least one of them), and proceed to tell him of your universal conquest, the threat you pose to his Netherworld in the long run (even if it doesn't share universes), and how that, for the time being, you're vulnerable due to a lack of army. Laharl proceeds to do to you EXACTLY what he does to this poor Zombie in this video, OHKOing you in a spectacular burst of overkill.

He goes back to his Netherworld and prepares anti-Velociraptor traps for the future. I do likewise with my small providence, and keep my hill.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

Fortunately, one of my many friends is a time-bending dragon. He turns Laharl's future into the past, meaning that the poor fellow's traps have already been set and disarmed. Now that that threat is over, I resummon my army and storm your ingrateful butt off the province I was so generous as to leave you as well as taking the hill. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, you have forgotten that the province you gave me-not wishing to give me what I don't already own-was New Zealand, the place where the hill actually lies in...And my weapon. A single swing of my mighty New Zealand Axe (which is only rank five of forty, higher being better) scatters your army-already weakened by destroying the traps Laharl made in his Netherworld but not the traps I made in New Zealand-and sends you flying to the nearby continent of Australia, specifically to the bedroom of Graceful Suicune, who proceeds to use her ULTIMATE GRAMMAR POWER!!!™ to annihilate you and your army in retaliation for breaking into her bedroom. Laharl decides to help, mainly because you disposed of his (relatively cheap) Velociraptor traps in his Netherworld and didn't bother actually invading his Netherworld to stop him. I watch the fireworks from atop the hill atop my Province-Weapon...

...And I reclaim my hill, not forgetting.

MY HILL!!!

[VeloJello]

I change my name to Dawn and go on an epic Pokemon journey, culminating in the defeat of Team Galactic and my capture of Palkia. Having caught Palkia, I have it use its powers to separate the hill from your continent-weapon before wiping the latter from existence. Furthermore, Palkia encapsulates the hill, itself, and myself into a spatial bubble that may or may not actually exist in the real world. We enjoy tea and cookies in our new reality. The hill is now mine.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

It's alright. You may have caused a massive genocide of New-Zealanders, but that's alright. (No, it's not.)

I didn't really need it as a weapon anymore, for I have found...THE RANK 6 ULTRA-SIZED AX!!!

YES!!! ALL SHALL TREMBLE IN ABSOLUTE FEAR OF MY...INFINITY LADLE!!!!!!!!!

Being rank six instead of rank five, it is not only slightly larger than New Zealand, it's also much stronger. I proceed to use my new weapon to make the Ax cop absolutely jelly, who I dare to break your spatial bubble to see who's Ax skills are better. The Ax cop obliges and does so with his almighty ax powers (Nobody beats the Ax-cop at Ax wielding), and you, who dared to make a pocket dimension without any time whatsoever (and henceforth were utterly frozen), could do nothing as the Ax cop, err, bursts your bubble. You, Palkia and the hill fall into the ocean where New Zealand once was, and I use my powers to fling it around the circumference of the earth and into orbit. Then, using my Infinity Ladle, I Ax you and Palkia mid-orbit, knocking you off the hill, which breaks orbit and lands on top of the Yogtowers. You have no clue where the Yogtowers are, so while you're recuperating from the blow of my Infinity Ladle and wondering where the hill is, I go to reclaim my hill because I DO know where the hill is.

MY HILL!!!