How dare you insult dubiously well-intentioned kitten liter companies for having kitten litter compared to common Saharan sand! The copious amount of lawyers from cat product companies worldwide form a lawyer army worthy of intergalactic court and march directly to the hill, suing you on fifty trillion charges of mind-slander.

Like, they'll lose as instantly as it gets in court. Mind-slander isn't a crime or anything. BUT, that'll only happen if you head to court to at least get all of these bogus charges sorted out, and there is no court on the hill. This forces you to leave temporarily.

Meanwhile, my love of cats resurrects me upon seeing a kitten, rising from the sand and avoiding getting defecated upon. I somehow get distracted by this cat for about the exact amount of time you need to sort out in court, and we meet upon the hill again at the exact same time. We decide to (for now) avoid pointless violence and we then agree to Settle it in Smash, but we somehow manage to tie on sudden death thrice in a row. At a loss, I then suggest we do Resourceful Rat speedruns of Enter the Gungeon, but somehow we DNF to Rat Phase 2 thrice in a row at the exact same time, then kill him at the exact same time on our fourth try. We then realize that traditional Pro MLG gaming competition will never work as we are somehow equally skilled (or not) and thus utilize a field of gaming competition that is not nearly as lauded, that being Legend of Zelda's Dank Percent (which is literally exploiting a glitch to play the orcarnia with a burnt stick, which makes it look like, well), but we somehow manage to tie that twice in a row. Absolutely infuriated by this turn of events, I throw my controller at you, knocking you out.

Cue a roughly-inverted scenario quite like the above, wherein you regain consciousness after I settle all legal issues in court, in the process revoking all of your legal claims to the hill through other legal means. By the time we meet again, the hill is mine, and I shake you by claiming that a conspiracy of Marmite Daemons is attempting to poach wild Emolga in Far-away-from-here-land, even further than Nowhere-near-the-hill-ville. You attempt to bring righteous justice to Emolgas while I solidify my claim on the hill.

My legion of pirate-samurais proceed to stroll up and capture anyone other than Neo who happens to have ninja'd me, as of course, pirate-samurais are a ninja's greatest weakness. They force the offender to walk the plank. It's not a drop off of a ship into shark-infested waters, though; it's just a really, really, really long plank. It'll take at least 10 hours if you drive the whole way. (The 'walking' part is also kind of nonindicative.)

MY HILL!