It's been fun everybody - but paperfairy is done.

**paperfairy** · 08-04-2013, 07:28 PM

So, in case you didn’t notice, I’m done.

And let’s be honest, I’ve been “done” for a long time. I think, when Kevin approached me about PxR, I knew this was going to happen.

I’ve been part of the PE2K community for a long time. Longer than Kevin, and we’re pretty positive that the only person who is “older” than me is Kenny. When I first joined, I was not even a teenager yet - I was just a child. A child coming into the forums of PE2K was amazing - I had found a community of people where the average person knew more about Pokemon than I did. At the time, that was mind-blowing. I was so excited.

PE2K was also my gateway into things that I didn’t know other people thought about, never mind did. I got into writing fan-fics, sprite art, role-playing, and I made a ton of awesome friends, many of which are still my friends today.

But this was a time where I didn’t have many friends in the real world. And my home life was awful - I just wanted to escape, and PE2K provided that escape. It worked for a while too. I poured hours on top of hours into the fandom, and doing it was its own reward.

PE2K had its major outage around the same time I was going into high school. High school was a strange time for me - I got very sick and had to be held back a grade, got addicted to Maplestory, and I was in one of the most work-intensive academic programs in the world. (international baccalaureate, look that **** up). PE2K took a back seat, but I was still involved.

As the demands of high school grew greater, I didn’t do really anything else but homework, sleep, and take care of my family. PE2K wasn’t even a thought. When I finally graduated though, I found myself a different person than when I had first began. And I had moved out of my mother’s house. Free from school, free from my family, I was finally “happy”. My one semester at school was the greatest period of time in my life.

Of course, when cancer had reduced my entire family to nothing more than walking corpses, I had to drop out of school and return home to care from them. “Home” is a dark place, and I become a different person when I’m there. I needed an escape. Luckily, Grsspkmnmaster is somebody I knew in real life, and he pointed me back to PE2K, where I found the ASB - something that I had heard of before, but never got involved in. While I was caring for my sick family, the ASB (and PE2K, in writing and editing articles) provided an escape. You guys helped me keep my sanity, and I think we can all agree that it was a great time for me - whenever I’m in a dark place, I get REALLY productive.

Once again, I myself pouring hours upon hours upon hours into PE2K in order to escape the reality of my family. But all good things must come to an end. My grandmother died, and my mother got better, and I no longer needed to be there. I moved out of my mother’s house, got back on my own. I got two jobs, and started going to school full time.

Suddenly, PE2K didn’t seem very important anymore.

And we come to present day. I agreed to help Kevin with PxR because I truly believe in what he’s trying to accomplish, but at the same time, I cannot seem to make myself care anymore.

I don’t RP (online) anymore.
I don’t care about fanfiction.
I definately don’t care about art. I’m a math and science guy. This stuff just isn’t what I do.

These just aren’t things I’m interested in anymore. And that’s what PxR is all about, which is great, but I simply cannot justify working on something when I could be accomplishing something in my real life.

And I’m sure you’ve all noticed that. I have been an AWFUL technical lead - I have become the same person I rallied against before - I promised I wouldn’t be another Ray (PE2K, not our Ray, who is an amazing human being) or another Elbub, and that’s what I did. I sucked at being an editor, and I sucked at being an administrator. I let you guys down. I’m sorry to any one individual’s life that I made more difficult because I couldn’t be arsed to follow through. Maybe I’m just lazy. Maybe it’s burnout. I don’t know.

As for the ASB, I built the entire structure this new version in case this were to happen: should I disappear, the ASB can continue to run. And it can, and it has. Jenn has worked her ass off, and as far as I’m concerned, it belongs to her. As you guys are reading this, I’m having a meeting with the ASB Officials to clear up any loose ends, and explain how they’re going to handle the 6th generation, but I’m pretty much done.

That’s not to say I’m done with Pokemon. I’m still going to play every game, and read every issue of Pokemon Adventures and I’ll still competitively play the TCG and the video game. You’ll easily find me on Pokemon Showdown, or Smogon’s #tcg chatroom or on reddit.com/r/truepokemon discussing Pokemon lore (which I also love to do).

But not at PxR. Not working. For all intents and purposes, I am retiring.

This has been fun, and I wish you all luck in whatever you guys do.

I love you guys!

If you want to talk, email me! or follow me on Twitter!

[email protected]
https://twitter.com/paperfairy

**Caite-chan** · 08-04-2013, 07:38 PM

*Big hugs*

I know I will miss you a lot. I can relate a bit I always felt like PE2K was home for me. No matter how long I was away for I knew I always had a place to go and I feel like that here as well. Just remember that we'll always be here if you ever want to pop in and say Hey!

**VeloJello** · 08-04-2013, 07:43 PM

I'll miss you Justin! u^u I'll try to keep in touch with ya.

**Saraibre Ryu** · 08-04-2013, 08:58 PM

We're all gonna miss you Justin. *brofists* Good luck on your life endeavors man!

**3m0d0ll** · 08-10-2013, 01:10 AM

We'll keep in constant touch so I feel no need to say bye, but at the same time, I'd feel like a cvnt if I didn't see you off.

Baby pandas and all that. Don't forget that I'm always right.