The Deadly Delivery (Prompt Week 7)

[Noblejanobii]

Many people wonder exactly how they are going to die. It is something everyone worries about from time to time. But most people don’t ever expect to receive such news in the mail. To be candid, it is actually quite a bit easier to deliver the message that way. People don’t just suddenly drop dead in their driveways but I know exactly when they’re going to get their mail so there’s usually a delay between delivery and execution.

Nevertheless, some people have caught onto my scheme. I’m honestly quite surprised that no one has earlier, what with my being the grim reaper and all, but I guess if you’re a skeleton dressed in a postal worker’s uniform they never suspect a thing. There are still a few cases, though, of people having figured me out. One such case is a small child living at 483 Cherry Grove Lane. She lives alone and should have died ages ago, after her parents died in a car crash and no one came to claim her. Yet, she has seen through my disguises and all my best efforts, and thus has avoided death for quite some time. And thus, my ultimate quest in life now is deliver that child’s mail.

My mail truck creeks as I ease on the brakes. I lean out the window and open 479 Cherry Grove Lane’s mailbox. Reaching back, I grab all the mail for them today and slip it into their mailbox. No one was due to die today but as a mailman I had my regular duties to perform as well. Placing my truck in park, I eye the mailbox two houses up. That was my target. Grabbing the mail for 483 Cherry Grove Lane, my bony hands slip around a solid black envelope. The letter of death as I like to call it. I step out of my truck and begin my trek up the street. I already had a plan of action as how to deliver the mail to the little girl this time. The family living at 481 Cherry Grove Lane had a dog. Little girls love dogs don’t they? I would have the dog deliver the letter! As long as the dog didn’t open it then everything would be fine.

I heard a familiar barking as I reached the driveway for 481 Cherry Grove Lane. I whistled and a chow chow came barreling towards me from behind the house. I suddenly felt myself being hit with 70 pounds of fluff and flesh. The chow chow licked my face repeatedly before beginning to gnaw on my arm.

“Hey!” I yelled, trying to push him off me, “I’m not a chew toy!” After a minute the chow chow crawled off me and stared at me. I stood up and brushed myself off before speaking to the dog. “You know the girl next door? The one who lives in 483 Cherry Grove Lane? Yes? Give this to her. But don’t open it. Okay? Give this to the girl.” I tucked the letter into the dog’s collar and sent the dog off. The chow chow went back into his yard and began to trot towards the next house, but then, he spotted a squirrel. I couldn’t help but groan as the dog began to chase it up a nearby tree, barking his head as he went. “No no no!” I yelled loudly, shaking my head in disbelief. The dog seemed to have heard my disappointment, because it stopped barking and resumed its journey.

I watched as it reached the neighbor’s yard, and the little girl poked her head out of a window. She stumbled out of the house towards the dog and began to pet it. The chow chow repeatedly licked her face before rolling over for a belly rub. It was then that I noticed, the letter was missing! I scanned the lawn for where the black letter had been dropped only to her a thump nearby. I turned my head back to the tree to see a squirrel dead at its base, the letter in its hand. I put my hand to my face and sighed, the little girl’s laughter mocking me as if she had plotted the whole scheme. I looked up at her and made a “I’m watching you” gesture, which she returned, before returning to my truck to pursue this fight another day.

[EmeraldSky]

This almost seems like a Looney Tunes cartoon, in a way--but I could totally see this as an anime series where this reaper goes after the souls of other crazy characters too.

[Noblejanobii]

This almost seems like a Looney Tunes cartoon, in a way--but I could totally see this as an anime series where this reaper goes after the souls of other crazy characters too.

Yeah like I mentioned it was originally going to be more heartwarming and then just sort of evolved into something silly.

[EmeraldSky]

If you want to turn this into a series, go for it! I'd definitely read it.

[Noblejanobii]

If you want to turn this into a series, go for it! I'd definitely read it.

I may in the future, good to know I'll have a fan!

[EmeraldSky]

Your reaper mailman need not always try to go after a single soul--give him a bunch of other weird souls to go after!

[Suicune's Fire]

When I first started reading this, I thought it was a new prompt thread about how characters were going to die. XD Like, you give us a prompt and then we link it to how someone dies. I don't know.

Anyway, what a little piece of crap! Letting that squirrel die in her stead. D:< I did like the concept of Death being a delivery man though. Very clever. I find it hard to believe that Death didn't see the letter being given to the squirrel, though.

Nice story. :)

[Noblejanobii]

When I first started reading this, I thought it was a new prompt thread about how characters were going to die. XD Like, you give us a prompt and then we link it to how someone dies. I don't know.

Anyway, what a little piece of crap! Letting that squirrel die in her stead. D:< I did like the concept of Death being a delivery man though. Very clever. I find it hard to believe that Death didn't see the letter being given to the squirrel, though.

Nice story. :)

Lol I mean if you want I can do that.

Haha well it wasn't given to the squirrel. The dog dropped it while chasing the squirrel and the squirrel picked it up. The little girl didn't do anything really.

Thank you.

[Soups]

What an ending.

I enjoyed this story. By having Death involved in a constant war of deception with a young girl, it humanizes it (I say it because I don't know if you claimed Death to to be a male or female or if it's neither). Overall, it was a fun read. Great work.

I hope to read more of your stories soon.

[Noblejanobii]

What an ending.

I enjoyed this story. By having Death involved in a constant war of deception with a young girl, it humanizes it (I say it because I don't know if you claimed Death to to be a male or female or if it's neither). Overall, it was a fun read. Great work.

I hope to read more of your stories soon.

Well in this story Death has no gender but in some of my other stories, such as the Restaurant of Life and Death or A Very Madder Christmas, both Life and Death have genders. It just depends on the story.

Thank you! I'm glad you like it! If you'd like to see more of my stories you can try to find them through the forums or on my deviantart here. I hope to post my story for Flygon in the Daily Pokemon Stories thread soon.