[PXFIRE] Comics

[Nekomata]

I just feel people that didn't do week one are at a bit of a disadvantage, and that kinda stinks. But I'll try my best!

I can see that- I did warn that this section would build on itself though. I wanted to go through the process of making a comic step by step (ish) and sadly that does involve a lot of steps that are best done sequentially. It was doing one part per week or doing it all in one week and... that would've killed people. But yeah- having the script done and getting feedback on it prior to layouts does put one at an advantage. If you want, you're welcome to share your script with me here or in private messages and I'd be glad to give you some feedback on it as I did with the judged entries (or just a general- "try this paneling" type suggestions)

Don't worry though- I'm sure you'll do fine! I have faith~!

[Bulbasaur]

I can see that- I did warn that this section would build on itself though. I wanted to go through the process of making a comic step by step (ish) and sadly that does involve a lot of steps that are best done sequentially. It was doing one part per week or doing it all in one week and... that would've killed people. But yeah- having the script done and getting feedback on it prior to layouts does put one at an advantage. If you want, you're welcome to share your script with me here or in private messages and I'd be glad to give you some feedback on it as I did with the judged entries (or just a general- "try this paneling" type suggestions)

Don't worry though- I'm sure you'll do fine! I have faith~!

I'll see what I can do!

[Nekomata]

I'll see what I can do!

That's the spirit! Don't stress over it- just have fun. I'm not a harsh judge. I'm just happy to see people entering and what ideas come out of it. =D

[arnisd]

Aight, have the follow up, for the script thingy. Which ended up larger than I expected, causing the image to get resized and blur out the faces a bit >.<

Healers are fun

Spoiler:

[Neo Emolga]

A Story For Miles

Script (Changes are in red)

Spoiler:

Please note the layout has been drastically changed since Week 1.

Panel Layout: Panel One takes up the whole first row of the page and about 25% of the page in geneal.

Panels Two and Three occupy the next 25% of the page and Panel Three is just a tiny bit bigger than Two (mainly because there's more speech involved).

Panel Four takes a little less than half of the "third row" And Panel Five is mainly a quick, small box to insinuate that Miles heading out of his house is just a quick transition.

Panel Six takes up the remainder of the page, and isn't so much a panel but more as the background of the entire page itself (where it looks like all the other panels on lying on top of it).

Panel One

The morning sun is shining upon a Furret named Miles that is using several old and battered towels as his bed. The light is landing on his face and he is slowly waking. The rest of the concrete room is dirty and worn down and a nearby metal chair has fallen apart.

Panel Two

Miles yawns as he tosses the old towels aside, looking refreshed to begin a new day as the morning light now shines upon him. His fur is a little frizzled.

MILES: Oh wow, morning already!

Panel Three

Miles is seen brushing and grooming himself off while his bedding and towels lay scattered around him. He's smiling and has a very optimistic outlook on today. The reader can easily tell this is a very happy-go-lucky Pokémon who takes pride in his work.

MILES: Well, better get going! I'm sure there will be plenty of new rescue jobs today! Sure don't want to miss out on those!

Panel Four

The view falls upon an old table with Miles's belongings. His trusty black pouch is there, along with a worn metallic canteen, a red scarf, an Escape Orb, and a somewhat aged Oran Berry. Miles is out of view, but his shadow falls upon the old table as his looks over his supplies and belongings.

MILES: Ha, good thing I packed most of my stuff last night! So much of the rest of the crew depends on me to be prepared!

Panel Five

Miles is seen now wearing his trusty pouch, canteen, and his red scarf is being worn as a bandana. His other paw is being used to push the old metal door with broken windows open and more morning sunlight is pouring into the old room that is Miles's home. Miles is cheerful and ready to head out into the world to embrace a new day of rescue adventures and helping other Pokémon.

Panel Six

Miles is seen exiting his tiny house. However, the reader immediately sees in this last panel that Miles's house is in fact what used to be a mechanic's garage. As he steps out, the morning light is seen being cast upon a massive city in ruins. Shells of buildings and empty streets with burnt-out and overturned cars are all around him. A traffic light lies twisted on the ground and the streets are cracked, cratered, and broken apart. A nearby billboard is also half-burnt while the other half is an advertisement for S.S. Anne luxury cruises. In the background, rows upon rows of buildings lie collapsed, blown out, and in ruins for as far as the eye can see into the distance.

MILES: Definitely a fine day for adventure!

VISUAL LAYOUT


The intention here is the trick and mislead the reader into first thinking this is probably just another typical run-of-the-mill Pokémon Mystery Dungeon comic starring just another typical cheery character. Panels One through Five are meant to keep the big twist hidden and to keep playing on this illusion by not revealing too much about the big reveal in Panel Six. Limited artwork details of the background are provided in these first five panels and it can be easily assumed Miles the Furret is probably just an average Pokémon in whatever PMD world he's in where there's very limited technology, very akin to the PMD games and other typical PMD formats.

Panel Six is there to completely blow the mind of the reader that this comic totally does NOT take place in an easily-assumed PMD world setting, but instead in a ravaged, post-apocalyptic Vermillion City, Kanto where suddenly everything the humans created from buildings, cars, and other pieces of civilization are in ruins. Suddenly the reader's opinion of Miles changes drastically and they really begin to question how could any Pokémon be totally cozy with human civilization being completely ravaged?

This is the kind of introductory page that would cause the reader to conjure up all sorts of questions. How did this happen, what are the Pokémon of Kanto doing now, and why is Miles so carefree about what happened? Is Miles just heartless or did the humans do something that merited this kind of lack of empathy to the point where Miles feels no concern or remorse for what likely ended countless human lives? It's the kind of hook that would nab the reader's attention and get them to keep reading to answer all these questions.

[VeloJello]

Wow, this layout is sloppy! I'm used to my own shorthand so this is legible to me, I apologize if that shorthand doesn't translate well (though I did my best to make it work). A bubble with an "M" is a Mydas line; "C" is for Crowd and "F" is for Fallen.

Cape Fight!

Spoiler:

And for fun, here's an edited script. There weren't a lot of changes; I think page 2 was where the most major one happened.

Cape Fight!

Spoiler:

We open in the middle of a cape fight; two supers are brawling. One - codename Mydas - is a squat white man with curly red hair and a showy blue costume modeled vaguely after a sea turtle. The other - codename Fallen - is a simply-dressed young, tall, olive-skinned woman with two pairs of wings with feathers the same dark brown as her long hair.

[PAGE 1]
PANEL 1: Large, establishing shot that engulfs the full width of the page. Floodwaters swirl around the floor of a crowded, dirty arena illuminated by harsh spotlights that create deep shadows. People of various states shapes and size - some who look like rowdy vagabonds, others wearing casual clothes, and even a sparse few in what looks like cape attire - watch the fight, cheering and jeering. Mydas is seen from a bird's eye view; Fallen’s face is not visible, but her shoulders and wings are seen from behind as she flies above the water.

PANEL 2: Mydas grins viciously and makes fists with both hands, and he raises them from his sides to the sky. The water can be seen rippling strangely at his knees, but he is unfazed by its presence. Makes a row with panels 3 and 4.

PANEL 3: Two huge arms made of water - each about as big around as Mydas himself - lift upward on either side of Mydas with the hydrokinetic clearly in control of them. A cheer erupts from the crowd, many of whom are chanting for Mydas’s success. This appears to be a popular trick of Mydas’s. Makes a row with panels 2 and 4.

PANEL 4: Close shot of Fallen’s face as she realizes her situation. She is startled and scared. Makes a row with panels 2 and 3.

CROWD: “Finish her!”

PANEL 5: Small, inlaid panel (over panel 6) of a few crowd members cheering. They are raucous, loud, and excited.

PANEL 6: Much larger panel. The watery hands clap together with a deafening crash, the waves splashing around as the hands merge.

[PAGE 2]
PANEL 1: Panel takes up half the page horizontally; makes a row with panel 2. Mydas tilts his head. His posture is confident and he has a cocky expression.

MYDAS: “You ready to cry uncle, Fallen?”

PANEL 2: Panel takes up half the page horizontally; makes a row with panel 1. The watery hands remain clasped, but a strange golden glow is forming within them.

PANEL 3: Thin horizontal panel centered below panels 1 and 2, above panel 4. The background is very dark for the most part; the floodlights don’t reach up this high. The light in the hands turns golden as they explode in a burst of droplets. Fallen appears, wings outstretched to form an X-shape. The light comes from Fallen herself, originating behind her and creating a powerful silhouette of her. Fallen's wings exit the panel borders.

PANEL 4: Slightly wider horizontal panel centered below panel 3. Medium shot of Fallen to show the expression on her face and the weight of her wings as she flies above the tower of water. She’s a little damp, but no worse for wear. Her fists are clenched and her expression is one of grim determination

PANEL 5: Wide, profile shot of the whole arena below panel 4. Mydas is panicked, trying to recall the water back to himself; the water isn’t moving fast enough. Fallen streaks ahead, wings locked back in a dive position. The crowd is in an uproar, shocked that Fallen seems to be turning the tables.

[PAGE 3]

PANEL 1: Fallen extends her wings, catching the air. This should be a fairly large panel to show that this maneuver is taking place across Fallen’s entire descent. Forms a row with panel 1.

PANEL 2: Fallen swivels her body, locking her right foot into a kicking position. This should be a fairly large panel to show that this maneuver is taking place across Fallen’s entire descent. Forms a row with panel 2.

PANEL 3: WHAM! Fallen’s foot smacks against Mydas’s face. This panel is cut in half by the slanted border of panel 4.

PANEL 4: Mydas drops, falling harmlessly into the shallow water, with a red scrape on his cheek where Fallen struck. His mask is ajar from the hit.

PANEL 5: Worm’s eye view of Fallen standing over Mydas with one eyebrow raised. The tower of water is falling into the rest of the arena now, beginning to behave like water again as Mydas is no longer exercising control over it. Forms a row with panel 6 and takes up approximately 2/3 of the horizontal space.

PANEL 6: Close shot of Fallen’s face. She has one hand on her hip and with the other, she’s wiping her hair back behind one ear.

FALLEN: “What was that about me crying uncle?”

[Shruikan]

Welp, I've done all I can. Which is more than I got done last year, so I'm happy.

Run free, my friends!

The Script:

Spoiler:

Panel 1

Establishing shot of a small part of a quiet country town, like you'd find in a JRPG. The buildings are spaced apart, and look more on the side of old fashioned, like medieval houses, while the roads are just dirt paths. There are mainly shops, and is a shop with an oval sigh hanging out in front declaring it a florists.

Kaira is walking down the street. She is glancing excitedly at one of the shops.
Kaira looks like a hybrid of a dragon and a deer, with a deer's legs & hooves, and antlers, a dragonlike snout and small wings. She has a long tail that has two leaves growing from it at the end,. She is mostly green, with a brown patch running from her nose along her back and partway down her tail.

KAIRA: Wow, I never knew that humans sold so many different things!

Panel 2

Kaira turns her head as she walks and notices the florists shop.

Panel 3

Kaira goes all cartoony with a look of horror/dismay, with the thinker outline, single black dot eyes Let's pretend I didn't specify what they eyes look like :P , etc. The background is replaced with a flat single colour.

Does-this-count-as-a-panel/ Panel 3.5

Small black bar running across the page with "Some time later" written inside.

Panel 4

Two humans are walking down a road. They are dressed in the same style as the buildings, tunics and fantasy outfits. One, called Lyra, is female, and the other, Finn, is male. Finn has short light blonde hair and wears mainly red and brown, Lyra has chin length red hair and wears mostly light blue and beige. There are some trees in the background, but otherwise the panel is mainly sky & the people.

LYRA: "Did you hear? Apparently someone broke into the florist earlier and stole all the plants!"

Panel 5

Close up of Finn looking shocked.

FINN: "Who would do such a thing?"

Panel 6

This panel stretches across the entire bottom of the page. The ground is dug up and there is a row of flowers planted haphazardly, with Kaira sitting in the center planting another one, with a huge pile of pants in pots and baskets piled up behind her. You can see a bit of the side of the house nearby; the porch comes onto the the panel at the right hand edge, but just barley. Person 2 is looking the anime like shocked disbelief, with no colour and his jaw dropped.

FINN: Kaira, what are you doing!?

KAIRA: Freeing these plants back into the wild!

The Comic

Spoiler:

[Nekomata]

Loving the entries so far! Not judging quite yet but I'm posting to announce that the task for week 3 is up.

[K'sariya]

I'll be posting in a few hours--have it done but no internet on the road! 14 hour drives... @__@ your extended deadline saves me, bless

[Nekomata]

I'll be posting in a few hours--have it done but no internet on the road! 14 hour drives... @__@ your extended deadline saves me, bless

No stress! I know these comic challenges are, well- challenging. I'm happy to give a little extra time if people need it.