[WAR II] Humor Section

**[Desolate Divine]** · 06-10-2015, 03:18 AM

My vegan friend didn't have any meat food at his birthday party. It was all vegan food. There was plenty of food, but no meat. #firstworldproblems #truestory #hardestnightofmylife

**HKim** · 06-10-2015, 05:39 AM

Ugh. You guys make this so complicated. What ever happened to proper English?

You know how long it took me to understand hashtags? And even now I only think it's some mutant hybrid of key words and communication. As if sentences weren't good enough. #what #idon'tundrstand #thisisn'tenglish #aminotsupposedtouseapostrophes?

Oh, this, and trigger warnings. Yeah. No. That's stupid. Everything can be a trigger warning these days. What, you're mad because I talked about the Civil War? Triggered. Don't like that I killed off a character? Triggered? You hate that I like the color yellow? Triggered. Angry at trigger warnings? Triple Triggered.

And then you got weird symbols that suddenly mean something. Like "^", which apparently means I agree with what the person above me said. Well what's wrong with saying "I agree with Joe" or "Sarah is right"? What if someone posted before you and then you end up agreeing with the wrong person?

ElimN8: The War was so much cooler back in my day.
KennyC: I'm a pretty magical girl!
HKimF: ^
HKimF: No, wait, I mean I agree with Nate.
NeoSquirrel: lol

All of this could have been avoided with proper sentences, a willingness to communicate well, and the fortitude to not give into bad social media trends.

Seriously people, don't destroy humanity.

**Voltaire Magneton** · 06-10-2015, 10:16 AM

I know someone who got grounded for a week because he did not send lives on Candy Crush to his mom.

(gg)

**sammy0295** · 06-10-2015, 06:38 PM

Finally made it to the end, but the Princess is in another castle.
#World1Problems

**SassySnivy** · 06-10-2015, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by sammy0295

Finally made it to the end, but the Princess is in another castle.
#World1Problems

You win the internet.

**Neo Emolga** · 06-10-2015, 09:54 PM

These are all real.

**SassySnivy** · 06-10-2015, 11:40 PM

Originally Posted by Neo Emolga

These are all real.

I CAN 100% RELATE TO THAT SECOND ONE. And the last. Honestly I think Neo's so far encompasses the theme the best xD But then there's sammy's. Oh my god I almost died because that is just so clever like omg

**Dragon Master Mike** · 06-10-2015, 11:41 PM

GOD D**N IT, I WANTED TO ENTER THIS BUT I HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS TOO FUNNY!

Spoiler:

**Lord Celebi** · 06-11-2015, 01:09 AM

Originally Posted by ninjaskarmory

Oh my god I love Whose Line!! My boyfriend and I watch it all the time.

Oh, yeah, that one random string of symbols that's going around that makes your iPhone restart. I swear, if one more person sends me that, I'm going to hunt them down in the streets.

Can this "first world problems" thing be in the form of a greentext story, @Lord Celebi? If so, I have a great idea.

EDIT: Could it also be about a crazy day? I had a pretty crazy day recently, and I wrote down all the details! Far too many problems popped up, so it would fall under the umbrella of "problems". This one wouldn't be in greentext form.

@ninjaskarmory, it can be any format you want.

**ninjaskarmory** · 06-11-2015, 02:10 AM

So, at 1:30 one afternoon, when my mom texted me and told me to let my dog out to go to the bathroom, I thought it would be an unmemorable chore that would take maybe 5 minutes of my time.

But holy kittens on a kickboard, I've never been so wrong.

When my mom texted me, I just shrugged, grabbed a dog treat, and went outside. I didn't bring my phone or anything, as I wasn't expecting anything big to happen. Out of habit, I jiggled the handle a little after I closed the door.

When it didn't twist all the way, I thought I was going to cry. I had been locked out, and my mom wasn't coming home until 7:15. This had never happened before. The next half hour or so was spent trying every window and door, all to no avail. I was thinking of running to one of my neighbors' houses to use their phone and call my mom, but nobody was home. So, I decided to sit down and wait.

What ensued was around 3 hours of trying not to lose my mind. I let my dog out, of course. Then, left with nothing better to do, I swept most of the deck, which was surprisingly fun. There was a lot of singing, and admittedly a lot of bad language when wasps started flying toward me. Once, something wet touched my toe, which resulted in me violently kicking my flip flop half way across the yard. Keep in mind that my grass isn't a tame, cute little lawn. It's wild grass and stickers and who knows what else that ranges from 1 to 3 feet tall. So, you can imagine how hard it was to hop through that on one foot to retrieve my flip flop.

Anyway, I did that for a while. Then, my dog randomly started barking. Not at deer, not at turkeys, but at me, as if she wanted to be let out of her outdoor play area to go to the bathroom again. Naturally, I let her go. However, this time, she sprinted across the yard and didn't come back, even when I called. So, with the help of two neighbors, I traversed half the neighborhood trying to find her, and eventually recovered her from a neighbor's backyard. Nobody knew how she got there.

So, yeah, that's my story for the day. My mom's fiance came home and let me in the house, and I ate like a savage for about an hour after that. When my mom texted me at 1:30, I definitely did not anticipate that I would be running around the neighborhood like a lunatic in my pajamas.

-

That's my entry! cx I had fun writing it, that's for sure. I hope you like it!