King of the Hill!

[Bulbasaur]

Steven then has a heart attack and dies.

My hill.

[Bulbasaur]

I summon a ninja that takes down AWA for being ninja'd.

My hill.

[AWA1997]

I summon the epic blast of No Double Posting and knock Bulbasaur off of the hill since I ninja'd him through deleting my post.

It is now my Hill.

[Neo Emolga]

I teleport back in from the A-Dimension and use a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch on AWA, blowing him up into tiny bits. I then vacuum up the bits using a Dyson vacuum cleaner, and then deposit it and AWA's bits into Dimension-X, where he is reincarnated as a pink flamingo and then captured to be used as a part of Disney World's Jungle Cruise ride.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I opt to sit on Neo Emolga and sneeze all over him. Given my current affliction, he is turned into a Pikachu, making him Neo Pikachu, and is promptly assailed with his legion of copycats from all over the web. The swarms attempt to kill him, claiming they are the "real" Neo Pikachu and that he stole their names. While you inevitably slaughter them all, you suddenly realize your endless on-hand supply of Blessed Cures have been stolen from you, allowing me to nab the hill while you go back to your house for your endless supply.

MY HILL.

[Neo Emolga]

I restore myself to normal using my master alchemy skills, and then sneak up on Tazz, dumping a bottle of Fairy Tonic on him. He turned into a fairy, but in his confusion and surprise, I take the opportunity to whack him with a flyswatter, and then deposit the remains in a trash bin, which is then picked up for collection by the local municipality and then driven off to a New Mexico landfill.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

in turning me into a Fairy, you turned me specifically into an Xerneas because you didn't specify. Despite the fact I know outsize you by a considerable margin, I somehow wind up in exactly the situation you describe, only to suddenly have the United States declare war on you and a garbage man for dumping the Legendary Pokemon of Life Xerneas into a Landfill. You flee the law and the army while I go back to the hill and Reclaim it.

Just in case, I message you about the PSGs, guilt-tripping you into setting up challenges.

MY HILL.

[Neo Emolga]

I bribe the law enforcement and national guard with Dunkin Donuts, and the irresistibility of Emolga Attract Attack plus Oreo Cheesecake Donuts allows me to get a presidential pardon from President Barrack Obama and access to Ultimate Archmage Spellbook Level 999. My power is now over 9000.

I return to the hill and use Electric Bass Guitar of Supreme Almighty Awesomeness on the now Xerneas Tazz, which mesmerizes him so much that he spontaneously combusts and somehow magically turns him into Fig Newtons, which I generously share with all the starving nations of the world, thus ending world hunger. April 15th is declared as international Neo Emolga Day in celebration of my awesome deed.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You should know that your power level being over 9000 means absolutely nothing! VIM levels are accepted to be standard at the value of 15,000! In any case, in an inexplicable twist, eating the Fig Newtons turns everyone into me, and as I am now everyone, this includes you, who I just make to get off the Hill and reclaim it as literally everyone on planet earth. I then strap you to a nuke, punt you to chiron, watch you detonate, and somehow deliver you to the Chiron HosPITal, where you fall deathly ill and must venture into the horrid city streets of Yharnam to find 'Paleblood' whatever that is. Good luck.

Meanwhile, MY HILL.

[Neo Emolga]

My Arcane-level insurance plan covers Paleblood, but in light of Tazz becoming sentient in every living person, I use autoreconf.exe, which warps the space-time continuum and restores everyone back to normal. Tazz loses his power over everyone.

I then attack Tazz with my 36d20 Fire-Enchanted Noble King's Greatsword of Lordly Caliber +243 with Shredding and Paralysis effect. Tazz is chopped into Kibbles and Bits, which is then fed to Doug the Dog. Doug is highly satisfied with his meal and endorses the contract that gives me access to all the armed forces of the world and a lifetime supply of chocolate chip cookies, which I distribute to happy children all over the world. I am declared as an international hero and am made the patron saint of Johannesburg.

MY HILL!