King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You clearly do not learn your lesson and I become everyone again, despite all illogical nonsense. This illogical nonsense causes your head to explode, carting you off to HosPITal and nailing me one hill after I undo the illogical nonsense because it's actually logical nonsense.

WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND THAT ONE!!!!!

MY HILL!

[Neo Emolga]

After having my head reconstructed by the Revival Spirit Giga-Power White Magic, I escape HosPITal and find Tazz, wrongfully claiming my hill. I then use Cosmos Power and summon Cthulhu, who devours the illogical Tazz and puts an end to his illogical nonsense before returning to the sea. Logical.

I then use my Technomancy powers and construct one hundred SENTINEL XRN-580 Sentry Plasma Turrets to surround the hill as I claim it back.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I make Cthulhu weep over the corpse of his deceased brother, the Moon Lord. RIP in Peace Moon Lord, you deserved better. In any case, after escaping Cthulhu's stomach, because he always pukes when something bad in the family happens, I rush out and employ the thing I got from the Moon Lord's Last Will and Testimony (because we were buds, man): A Lunar Flare spellbook! And wouldn't you know, I'm in full Nebula Armor, it's the Nighttime and my buffs are active! To say nothing of my absurdly high magic stat. It's like, unchartable. We're in the process of remaking the charts for re-charting my magic stat and we require more Vespene Gas, help appreciated. I point it at the turrets you have erected and you, and you are blown into tiny bits by your foolish attempts to stop the power of the Moon! Alas, my good friend, you will be forever missed.

While you are recuperating in HosPITal from Lunar-based obliteration, I reclaim the hill, and summon a Key Lime Pie Golem to guard it from Neo Emolga with Anti-Magic and Anti-Emolga defenses.

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

I respawn from bits via White Magic Revival and departs from HosPITal once again. I spy upon Tazz and his Key Lime Pie Golem thanks to my Overseer Satellite Super MK IV and see that Tazz has summoned his golem with Anti-Magic and Anti-Emolga defenses. So I radio in a GREMLIN X-57E Gunship via satellite uplink to attack the Key Lime Pie Golem with OMEGA X-VX-T81 AP FMJ rounds, which have nothing to do with magic or Emolgas and thus, reduces the golem to a pile of pastry goo after being royally obliterated by enough military firepower to blow up a moon. Said bits are recycled by Nanny Corp and are resold for a 300% profit margin. Neo Emolga Corp benefits from the deal and our profits for quarter two increase.

I activate Uberbot. Uberbot comes online and emerges from its Stasis Chamber as a one-thousand foot tall mech that targets Tazz and blasts him with Experimental Cannon AEX-47, which warps Tazz first into a goat, then into a inflatable inner tube, and then into a box of Cocoa Puffs cereal before exploding into warped disorganized bits of both carbon and organic matter. As Tazz in tiny bits form is sent to HosPITal and is forced to recover and endure the horrible food from the cafeteria, I establish my Stronghold of Master Neo Emolga upon the hill as claim it as my own.

MY HILL!!!

[AWA1997]

I use the power of deus ex machina to return to the normal reality and my normal form with an army of me from alternate dimensions. The ghost-type alternate reality versions of me infiltrate your stronghold to allow the rest entrance, and we take over, kicking you and anyone else present out of the stronghold and completely sealing the stronghold so that none may come in.

MY HILL, THAT IS FINAL!

[Neo Emolga]

I laugh as AWA doesn't realize Stronghold of Master Neo Emolga comes with a failsafe backup plan in case the event of intrusion becomes an unlikely possibility. I pull out my Universal Remote of Awesomeness, and press a shiny red button, which causes Stronghold of Master Neo Emolga to fold in upon itself and become a compact form, squishing everything inside, including AWA and all of his dimensional clones into an easily-carried cube for convenient transportation. I then load said cube onto a cargo train and send it on its way to a random town in Arkansas.

With a lack of AWA and his clones on the hill, I turn on some Netflix and chill.

MY HILL!!!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

In response, I move the hill to Arkansas, specifically where Neo Emolga sent AWA, preventing him from claiming it as it's ultimate position is right on top of AWA. He moves to remove AWA when he hears a strange beeping noise, and suddenly has the fortress expand right next to him! He's crushed under his own fortress and turned into pastries!

Of course, one should never underestimate the ludicrous speed that a HosPITal can heal any and all injuries! Seriously that's why I reference it.

In any case, with BOTH of you in HosPITal now, I painstakingly remove every brick of Neo's Stronghold to entrap the HosPITal around an immense construct of what WAS his Fortress, now a 3-dimensional maze of from which there is no escape but dying repetitively and often, just like Dark Souls.

Meanwhile, I claim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

After realizing my HosPITal membership plan has now been upgraded to Tri-Star Platinum thanks to the ongoing membership loyalty program and my repeated usage, the pastry-reversal process is a complete success and I am restored to normal, albeit with a unusual sugary taste in my mouth. Upon exiting HosPITal, I see the silly labyrinth that Tazz has constructed, and use Magical Hack spell to cause the repurposed bricks of the Stronghold of Master Neo Emolga to turn into granulated sugar, which is blown away with a puff of wind that I create with my awesome magical skills and talents. HosPITal is now free from Tazz's confines, and whatever silly Dark Souls monsters and traps that were in place are gone and off to the department of labor office, as granulated sugar doesn't provide the same kind of stealthy opportunities that labyrinth walls provide.

Seeing as how Tazz forgot about the existence of GREMLIN X-57E Gunship and Uberbot, I take remote control of Uberbot and have it zap Tazz with Experimental Laser BAZ-X51, which turns Tazz into a strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top. I put on my soccer cleats and kick said strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top off of the hill.

As Tazz is sent yet again to HosPITal to undo the strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top transformation process, I claim the hill as my own.

MY HILL!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

You are promptly assaulted by a strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top. Specifically a whole ARMADA of strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top. And also Dark Souls monsters, because you forgot about them. Say hello to Ornstein and Smough! And The Old Dragonslayer, somehow! While you're suddenly stunned by the logical paradox of Ornstein and his future self being here at the same time, the armada of strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top entities use their vast armada of Psionic powers to brainwash you into claiming the hill in the name of the leader of the strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top invasion: Me.

As you do this, the strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top entities merge into a singular strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top abomination, which easily absorbs the powers of your Uberbot and GREMLIN X-57E Gunship, adding their power to all strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top kind. With this power, we enhance your brainwashing to make you do a variety of embarassing and humiliating stunts on YouTube, causing your company to disown you, your respect to vanish, and more, as well as 'donate' your existing wares of money to strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top kind, because of course you care about your supreme overlords. After that, we literally just make you walk underwater with literal concrete shoes to tie you down. By the time you're out of the range of the brainwashing you're drowning at the bottom of the Mariana Trench with surprisingly large crustaceans, all of which have unusually high amounts of resistance to electricity, technology and magic, as well as laserbeams.

Of course, you gave the hill to me, so thank you. Me and my entire armada of strawberry shortcakes with whipped cream and strawberry on top shall forever guard this hill, empowered by your Uberbot and the GREMLIN gunship.

MY HILL!!!

[Neo Emolga]

Surrounded by giant crustaceans as I am restrained with concrete shoes, I use Willpower Force to break the concrete around my feet into useless chunks, thus freeing myself. As the crustaceans begin their attack, I recognize their resistance to electricity, technology, magic, and laserbeams, but I smile as I recognize the Achilles Heel in Tazz's nefarious plans. Emolga Flying attacks!

I make mincemeat of the giant crustaceans using Hyper-X-Powered Acrobatics MK LXXIV +823³, which causes a giant cyclone and allows me to escape from the underwater treachery and shortly after allows very appreciative local fisheries to collect the crustacean meat! I then fly back toward the hill, casting AOSIS-Viridian Mind Shield on myself to prevent myself from being mind-controlled by Tazz's legion of strawberry shortcakes with whipped cream and strawberry on top. Their Mindspin attacks fail to have any effects!

I then activate...

ULTIMATE NEO EMOGLA LIMIT BREAK!
DRACONIC ADRENALINE SWARM!

Swarms of legendary dragons descend upon Tazz's legion, obliterating them via draconic adrenaline breath weapons of blazing fire, corrosive acid, crashing thunder, and biting frost! Bahamut, Ugin, Deathwing, Smaug, and Saphira set aside their differences and all simultaneously attack Tazz the strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and strawberry on top with their ultimate breath weapon attacks, immediately obliterating Tazz and causing his HosPITal gold point status to go up by 9000% as he has to be readmitted yet again after being reduced to ashy bread crumbs. I then send a "Get Well Soon!" card with an adorable bunny holding a bouquet of flowers and a balloon on it to Tazz's HosPITal room.

The sheer epic and awesome nature of this attack and its renown and legendary fame allows me to repossess my company, regain my respect and then some, and allows my gross profit yields to triple in seconds. My celebrity endorsements quintuple, my sponsors triple, and I build Neo Emolga Stadium on the hill to host Super Bowl LI. The naysayers of my dominion are immediately declared stupid and are exiled to Dingusland, somewhere in Dimension ZUM where they have yet to discover pizza, hamburgers, or ice cream, much to the sour disappointment of said naysayers. They will only be allowed to return after voiding their previous statements and 200 hours of community service.

MY HILL!