King of the Hill!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I unleash an oldie, but a goodie...A FALCON PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're sent out of orbit, I reclaim my hill in the aftermath of such a brutal attack.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I dissipate and reconstitute myself on the hill. I have you arrested for assault and claim the hill in your absence. My Hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I easily evade the cops and shove my smelly armpits into your face. The powerful stench OHKO's you.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

What you fail to realize that my lack of a good sense of smell allows me the leverage to go below and sweep you off your feet. I then hand you over to the cops. My Hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

The cops, upon seeing your reactions realize that we're both fighting over a hill with no particular defensive justification nor actual record of who actually 'owns' the hill (which nobody can), henceforth both committing assault and battery, and we both get sent to jail, and I get out early due to exceptionally good behavior. I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

Due to the technicality that I bought the hill and have legal documentation to prove it I was released from custody shortly after being arrested. Making your claim invalid. I disprove your owning the hill.
My Hill.

[Ash K.]

I actually stole it while you were both in prison. I come back and kick you both out.

My hill.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I ignore your legal jargon with my high IGNORANCE stat and ignore BOTH of your claims of the hill (and your presences on it) to claim it as my own whist I use you both as a pair of nice carpets for a few seconds before I throw you two to the Indian Ocean.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I trap you with a banana peel causing you to slip off the hill... I then take the hill.
My hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Your Banana peel was too slippery! I keep my foot on it and slide to a trash can to successfully discard it without falling. I then rush back and tackle you off the hill, which is now mine.

MY HILL!!!