King of the Hill!

[Dragotech]

I scare you off the hill with my laughter!
My Hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I get the Crepeer to laugh at you. Not to be confused with the Creepers of Minecraft fame, but rather the 'good guy' counterpart to the Joker, who is freaked out by the Creeper. Yes. His Laughter is that maddening.

You flee. I pack the Creeper in a Laughter-proof suitcase and send it after you. I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I bury the suitcase and come back for the hill.

I set an army of Creepers from Minecraft on you. I surround the hill in Ocelots which scare the creepers away. I claim the hill. MY hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Your Ocelots, though cute, do no good against Wither Skeletons. Nor does the sun. I spawn Wither Skeletons to kill you in broad daylight, and you flee the swarm of Withering death. I reclaim the hill, being ignored due to my...Er...Biology.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I equip Snowballs with Punch 10 and Flame 5 and Infinity 1!!! *Breaking the enchantment barrier*

I start hurling them at you and your wither skeles! They are sent flying lost to the despawner! You are knocked far away but as a player you don't despawn... My Hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Unfortunately, you've knocked me too far! I travel around the circumference of the earth and use my LV. 99 CIRCUMFERENCETECH: WORLD ROUNDING WHAMMY. You're whammied by the CIRCUMFERENCETECH, and I reclaim the hill in your absence.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I return from around the world and throw you off the hill into the ground in mid-air... I then walk up the hill and claim it
My Hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I spring up from underground and kick you off the hill, reclaiming it.

MY HILL!!!

[Dragotech]

I jump off of a falling sand block and strike you hard in the head... You wake up on some remote beach while I rule the hill.
My Hill

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

I turn the remote beach into a massive whip to whip you off the hill from the island I got stranded on, then teleport back to the hill as the HosPITol carts away the unconscious you. I reclaim the hill.

MY HILL!!!