The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

Lets talk to #17 Blimey the Azumarill

Totally! But first...!

Madder has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly-Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

So mindlessly delicious. Mmm, see, now that's how you do breakfast! Psh, this makes toast look BORING!

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE!
+1 Shared Pokémon Type (Fairy)

You find Blimey works at GameFlop, and he's a pushy, egotistical dude, but he seems to welcome you to GameFlop. You ask him what he knows about the Squawkers and if he can provide any help with that.

"Not much," he shakes his head. "They just creep me out. Never understood the point of what they're doing anyway. Though I did have a chat with Joobie the Noctowl, who also works here and does the restocking. He thinks he knows a few names of Squawkers. I remember he said Al was definitely one of them, which seems like a typical, although boring, kind of name. He also thinks there's one named Etchy. And he thinks it has something to do with crayons. Yeah, I don't know what that might mean either."

You then notice he's fiddling with a strange key. There's something interesting about it and your magical Peep radar is firing off. You've got to have it! You then ask him about it and if he wouldn't mind sharing it.

"What this?" he asks, looking at the key and then hiding it away. "No way! Look, you seem nice, but I don't hand over my precious! It's my precious! Mine!"

And then an idea comes to you. An awful idea. You get your Grinch grin on, and you whip out your laptop of mass destruction.

17 Blimey the Azumarill <Memes> OR <Browser History Hacking>



You RIP your way through all of Blimey's social media accounts, his personal accounts, and even pillage your way through his network drives to uncover the WORST you can get on this Azumarill. Oh yes. OH YESSSS!

You find out ol' Blimey here is a Peeping Tom and he has an absolutely bizarre obsession with making clothing out of Christmas wrapping paper while doing his hobby of traffic ticket origami. He also collects a LOT of dolls and he loves to whack them around with a hockey stick to the tune of thrash metal. And he does all this while his friend Foogly the Hitmonchan records him on camera. Oh, and he keeps a personal video blog about his dreams, and how his absolute favorite was the one where he was Snorlax in a spaceship eating all the Dittos he could ever imagine.

You show him these lovely findings and you realize handing him his own severed head would have been less frightening to him.

"NOOOOOOO!!" he scream morbidly. "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO OH NO OH STOP STOP!! I... I... just take it! TAKE IT AND NEVER SHOW ANYONE THAT!"

17 Blimey the Azumarill has become Compliant!

He then tosses the key to you and you catch it in midair! Unfortunately.

#Tacky Sparkly Glitter That Gets on Everything - FAIRY (+4 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 35 out of 100: FAILED!

Madder feels extra super silly as he gains 4 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Tacky Sparkly Glitter That Gets on Everything!

THE PAIN! Actually, it's not really painful, but now being the cutest Mimikyu of all just doesn't fare well for you.

The #[My Little Ponyta Magical Castle Key] Tacky Sparkly Glitter That Gets on Everything! - FAIRY (+4 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

Oh lordy, this silly key. You can't imagine what kind of nonsense this thing will open up, save for the fact it likely goes to something else that's My Little Ponyta-related. Ooh, can't wait! No really, you can.

You decide to wave goodbye to Azumarill, who is shivering like you just murdered fifty Pokémon in front of him! He looks like he needs a drink!

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 10/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[VeloJello]

Looks like someone can use a sane person to talk to, with all of that.

25 Wedge the Machamp

[Scytherwolf]

I'll search (21) DeeeBeee Memorial Park (CANDY)

[Ladybugclue]

I will chat with that Wocketz the Zigzagoon. #34

[Neo Emolga]

Ugh, well that was a dazzling experience. Thanks to Shruikan and those magical donuts. I'm back! Just....less rainbow-butted and.....not a Chu. At least I didn't get a shining and dazzling avatar/banner to show it off xD I don't even know if I really HAVE a butt now! I'm a Beautifly! Someone save me from this torture! Thanks Shruikan for reviving me at least.

I guess I'll flap my wings over to (53c) Floors 9-12. Finish searching this place where I left off

Getting to enjoy flying has you all aflutter! Hope you came hungry!

Soren stops for a snack and has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly-Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

Well what do you know, they're still delicious!

You then flutter all the way to that silly No Pink Flamingo Pokémon Hotel for whatever mysterious reason I can only guess. Here, you check out the upper floors to see what's going on. Not surprisingly, a lot of Pokémon are holed up in their hotel rooms, trying to avoid the tragic rain of addictive doughnuts. You take one bite and there's no hope!

You check out the tenth floor and you test the ice maker on your face, but still, the ice conjuring superpowers you were expecting just don't seem to come to fruition. They would have kept your drink cold, though!

Floor #11 doesn't have too much either. Kinda smells like some kid forgot where the bathroom is. And you imagine they might have had greasy fried Stunky. Or at least something they couldn't pay you to eat.

And then on the last floor, you find this is where the housekeeping keeps their equipment and supplies and more than enough toilet paper to dress up like a Mega Altaria. You sneak into the employee break room and you find the refrigerator! Only wow, it's locked. You totally think they're probably keeping something amazing in there! Like jewelry! Cheat codes! An Emolga onesie!

You think you might need... Kung Fu.

{Employee Break Room Fridge: +Fighting Type}

But AWWWW, you're not a fighting type! I mean, you try a cute Karate Chop the way only a Beautifly like yourself can do, but it's just...

NOT VERY EFFECTIVE.



Okay, I promise I won't do that again.

You decide to flutter on back before they're halfway through tonight's movie!

Soren the Valiant Beautifly (M: Bug/Flying)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Staryu Hair Clip%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Movie Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

Let's search Warget.

Search (30b) Electronics and gizmos

Of course! Who shops at Tal-Mart!? You step outside and nearly get bonked by a doughnut with yummy creamy filling and mmmmm, it just begs to be bit into!

Eddie has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly-Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

Good stuffs.

You head to Warget and decide to check out their electronics and gizmos. Of course everything is in display cases that'll zap you with hellfire and pain and nine years of bad luck and cold food if you even thought about stealing, but you're a good Bulbasaur and you mind your manners.

WARGET ELECTRONICS AND GIZMOS
$[FitzyBitzy!!!!] 300 Snax$
$[MP8 Player] 200 Snax$
$[BotchWatch] 250 Snaw$
$[iPhony 89] 750 Snax$
$[Pretendo Twitch] 300 Snax$
$[Psychosoft Vex-Box] 300 Snax$
$[Phony Slaystation 4] 500 Snax$
$[Screwloose Screws] 200 Snax$
$[Lapsnap Laptop Computer] 1100 Snax$
$[Big Mothertruckin' Rig Desktop] 2250 Snax$
$[Hecta Friggin' Gaming Desktop Zenith of Awesomeness Omega With More Colored LED Lights Than a Nightclub on Steroids Gaming Setup] 3400 Snax$

You take note of the wonderful selection, though you're not sure how much of this will have a use. Seems like the kind of stuff you'd want to make sure first!

You decide you're just browsing for now. But of course you play for six hours on one of their promotional store displays! The wonderful thing is the store reps are too busy or too lazy to care!

Okay, really, time to go home now. XD

Eddie the Epic Bulbasaur (S: Grass/Poison)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

Looks like someone can use a sane person to talk to, with all of that.

25 Wedge the Machamp

Interview Rapport: NEUTRAL, VERY INTIMIDATING!
+1 Intimidate (Psychic VS Fighting)
+1 Intimidate (Flying VS Fighting)

You decide it's time to talk to the only real competent cop in town, but first on your way there...!

Velo has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly-Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

Ah yum, the creamy Oreo cheesecake ones are especially good today!

You find Wedge trying to piece together evidence at his Snippy Dee condo, which is likely because the police station is more of a chocolate gooey candy castle. You waltz in with your top coat and top hat and he freaks out for a second and then sweats. You introduce yourself in song and he just nods. And then you explain you want the latest scoop on the Squawkers because Biggs and Vivi are still trying to figure out how to tie their shoes and learn it's not a good idea to eat glue.

"...Yes," Wedge nods. "Don't mind me, wasn't expecting a legendary Pokémon that could pulverize me in two seconds to just show up. Since it's down to me, I figure I've got my work cut out for me, but if you're willing to help, well, can't argue against that, especially since Officer Biggs and Officer Vivi are just as helpful as using a plastic spoon to lift boulders. Sure, I get that the police station is utterly useless now and we lost virtually everything in that disaster, but any kind of giving up isn't going to get us anywhere."

"I've sure you've heard about Al already," Wedge tells you. "I can confirm the riddles are authentic, but it's a collecting process. I ended up resorting to grabbing one of those stupid fortune cookies for additional clues, and I got one that reads 'can't ignore it and can't sweep it under the rugs, our lovely hero Al just doesn't like bugs.' Obviously a riddle that he's weak against bug types, which should rule out anyone that's not. I've been hunting for others and I told Biggs he needs to be on the lookout for these too, but next thing I know, he's sticking a carrot in his ear."

"The other thing is it's hard to pick up on Squawker patterns, but what happened with Grootz and a few of the others confirmed there's one with some kind of obsession with noodles and turning victims into whole bowls of them," Wedge explains. "Then there's another that's similar, only with cookies. I think that one's name is Cookie Monger if I'm not mistaken and if my findings are right."

"I still need to confirm the rest of this and recollect what we lost," Wedge shrugs. "Take anything Biggs and Vivi tell you with a grain of salt, because they're not the brightest bulbs in the box. You're better off relying on your own eyes and ears for that."

He then gets back to piecing things together, and you decide to head back and check out what fun is going on back at Peep base!

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

[Neo Emolga]

I'll search (21) DeeeBeee Memorial Park (CANDY)

You decide to check out what this silly DeeeBeee Memorial Park is all about and what nefarious secrets it might be hiding! But of course, like everyone else today...

Carly has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly-Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

Who doesn't love a good chocolate glazed doughnut!? That powdery one looks good too! Why choose when you can have them all!?

Okay, enough of these things.

You cruise on over to the park itself and lovely, it's a whole green and chocolate-flaked wonderland of mint chocolate chip ice cream! And you can't help but... try it.

@Tasty Tasty Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream - ICE (+3 Belly)@

Carly has gained 1.5 points of Belly from the Tasty Tasty Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream! Reduced damage because you're a blazing hot tiger dog!

Okay, while it's not as delicious to you as it might be to some other Pokémon, between this and the doughnuts, you're feeling like you've probably done enough indulging for today. And tomorrow. And perhaps the day after that, too.

The park had some lovely memorials devoted to the prestigious Doctor DeeeBeee, but they're a wreck now because what hasn't melted has been eaten a bit! Doctor DeeeBeee would be so disappointed! And the trees are now yummy chocolate as well. It's just tragic and you sure hope this Squawker effect is reversible. If not, well... crapola.

You wade your way through gooey ice cream and you find something interesting on the chocolate path that used to be made of stones. Huh, looks like funky color pieces.

Why, it's a =A Colorful Jigsaw Puzzle!=

You gather up the pieces and decide to head on back, wondering what piecing them together will get you!

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 5.5/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Neo Emolga]

I will chat with that Wocketz the Zigzagoon. #34

You definitely feel he could use a little cheering up. And you rush over to chat with him but along the way...

Marta has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly-Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

You didn't think a cookie dough doughnut would ever exist, but lordy, it does and tastes divine! Why stop at just one!?

You find Wocketz is staying at the Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel and was on vacation with Grootz before... tragedy struck!

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE!
+1 Shared Pokémon Evolution Stage

Usually Wocketz is cynical, bold, and crafty, but he seems a little down in the dumps today. It seems like he misses Grootz, though when you knock on the door to give him some company, it seems like he appreciates that.

You chat for a little while and then you ask what he might know about the Squawkers so you can get back at them for what they did to Grootz.

"Pasta, of all things!" Wocketz remarks. "I'm not even sure what to do with it or if I should bury the whole thing. I asked other folks around this town if they knew of similar cases. Turns out there very likely is a Squawker that specializes in this crap and goes by the name of Noodlegan! What a dumb name! Almost as bad as Taserface!"

"But no one knows for sure who Noodlegan is," Wocketz sighs. "I found out these Squawkers are going stealth by pretending to be normal Pokémon. So any one of these idiots could be Noodlegan! Or some other Squawker! I'd love to trash them all, but Noodlegan for sure!"

"I'm onto that freak, though!" Wocketz tells you with a dark smile. "There's a weird 'Noodle Offering' just outside of the Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel! I see it every time I check out the back and that looks like something dumb Noodlegan set up. Now, one of the things it asks for is Chinese Krispy Noddles and I found out you can buy those at the mall food court, but I don't know where the Magical College Ramen and Military-Grade Tactical Linguini are supposed to come from."

Wocketz then decided to go through Grootz's old bag and there was something odd he found. It looks like a plastic bag of some strange dust that was wrapped up in tissue paper.

"Look, Grootz found this the other day and I don't know what it is," Wocketz shrugs. "I looked at it and something just didn't feel right about it, but you might know something more about it."

He then hands it to you and you eagerly unwrap it and want to see what it is! It really is a strange yellow powder and it sparkles like its made of magic! You open the bag and scoop some up to see what it does and... oh dear, now you've done it.

#Mega-Sparkly Pixie Presence! - FAIRY# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 30 out of 100:
FAILED!

Silly Marta has gained 3 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Mega-Sparkly Pixie Presence!

Oh. That's what it does. Bloody hell, it's gotten all over you. You try to shake it off and it just gets all over you! Aww, now you sparkle too!

#[Premium FDA-Approved Pixie Dust] Mega-Sparkly Pixie Presence! - FAIRY (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

You thank Wocketz for his time, and then you decide to head back to Peep base to prepare for tonight's fun and games!

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 3/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[arnisd]

Let's do a workout to reduce some of this cuteness.