The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Ladybugclue]

Let's explore more of this under water tower. Search 64a.

[VeloJello]

I'm not feeling suicidal, so the search will have to wait. Tomorrow I'll keep searching the hotel, or escort someone into it with my perk. For now, it's time for more hardcore parkour!

[ARandomTool]

Bless got back just before it started FREAKING RAINING DOUGHNUTS AGAIN. If this is gonna be a normal occurance, she thought, I'm gonna need some protection. She glanced over at the Sugarcoated Commando Armor, then decided it world be necessary, what with all the @Candy@ places she planned on visiting. Equipping Goodie: Sugarcoated Commando Armor.

Then, she wandered about the base, wondering what there was to do around here. All manner of dangerously enchanted objects were carelessly scattered about the place, and sparkles were slowly covering everything like a layer of dust. "Alright, this is a problem!" She said to no one in particular. She grabbed a bomb-proof box from another dimension really quick, carefully labeled it "Joy to Kill," and grabbed the most sparkly item she saw to begin disarming. Disarming Cutesy Heart Necklace to rid it of those demonic Shiny Sparkles of Joy.

[Neo Emolga]

Lets spend another day working out!

You know what you want and as the sly and devious Madder Hatter, cuteness in any form or shape is profane, vulgar, and offensive. So you get into full I WANT NONE OF THIS mode and you work out like a madman to get more badass! Be that good inspiration everyone needs!

You chew on steel bars. You make a castle out of chicken bones and declare yourself the Necro King. You make square knot out of titanium rods and then you set your biceps and triceps into OVERDRIVE by lifting commuter busses just because it's fun and you get a kick out of that.

Madder Hatter has shed 2 points of nonsense Overwhelming Cuteness from the badassery!

You wear shades. You walk away from explosions. A loud heavy metal soundtrack plays in the background. You load in a fresh magazine into your badass uzi and walk down an empty highway into the sunset.

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[AgloMe Oen]

Hmm, searching time all the time!

(59a) The Restaurant (CANDY)! Smells pretty good at least.

Hi there. Yep, it's me again. <3

You step outside and oh, doughnuts! Raining everywhere! Why not shove a bunch of those into your butterfly pie-hole!? Well, you do because mmm, impulsiveness! And they're really delicious just like last time!

Soren has gained 4 points of Belly from the Overly Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts and has reached CRITICAL MASS!
12/10

Oh boy, and we're not even done yet!

You feel and look like a giant, inflated Beautifly beach ball, all blown up like you're a giant boulder trying to crush Indiana Jones and your gut is making all kinds of funny and grotesque noises, but hey, let's see what else is out there, right? Of course! It's all part of the adventure!

You try to fly over there, but ha ha, no, you flap and flutter wildly and get nowhere, so you end up rolling and waddling your way here. It takes a while and you get some really funny looks from other Pokémon, but eventually you get to the Puffz the Magic Dragonite Family Restaurant and Fun Center. You check out the restaurant part because you totally don't think you've had enough to eat already! The war between your stomach and taste buds continues!

Oh, and...

@Extra Gooey Candy Collage - POISON@
Soren has gained 2 points of Belly from the Extra Gooey Candy Collage!
14/10

You snack on and stuff even MORE into your face! Really, dude, the ice cream and the doughnuts already in your bulging belly were NOT getting lonely! Ohh, but sure, make it a party in there! What, were you trying to go for an all time high score here? I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or feel disgusted! Just kidding, nothing disgusts me! CONGRATULATIONS!

You feel and look ridiculous and now your stomach is making a lot of really weird, gross, and concerning gurgling noises. But you just keep rolling along on your merry way there and you find the oddest thing in the back room. It looks like some really giant alien supercomputer! Lots of creepy wires, gadgets, screens, a funky keyboard, and whatever that weird sphere thing is... oh, that's what they use for a mouse! And off to the side, there's a nifty electronically-sealed container probably holding some nice goody or something!

Well, because you're spunky, you crack your way into it and try to figure how the thing works! You're typing and hacking and barely able to see what you're doing with your giant rotund belly in the way, but you somehow just make the hacking magic happen even though you've never used this thing before! At one point, ha ha, you nearly squash your own head under your own lovely girth.

{Alien Supercomputer: <Hollywood Shenanigans> AND Mintos Product Placement}

You get so far into it, but you feel you're just missing that one last little thing to finish it off. You've done most of the job, but it just needs that last bit of improvising you can't come up with! So close! Aww, I know, but I have to disappoint you again! Oh, and ha ha, ha-ha-ha, I'm not quite done yet. You see, there's this little thing you might have forgotten. Actually, it's become a BIG thing you've forgotten.

Your belly rumbles and shakes and suddenly you inflate like a balloon because your belly's thinking "hey, SCREW IT, if he's going to gobble this much, I'd better compensate for that and get REALLY BIG" but the rest of your body isn't in agreement with that and you know how skin can only stretch so far? Well, it goes pretty far and yeah, it looks like it's a little too late to try and revive that New Years Resolution that you've broken into a million pieces as you just grow and grow out of control. And then, for a few short seconds, you get to know what it feels like to be as big as a Wailord with a monstrous eating disorder before... aww.

KA-BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
BYE BYE BEAUTIFLY!!!

Ooohhhh! Ahhhhh! Again, again! Now that was a lovely and majestic performance!

You LEVEL THE WHOLE BUILDING doing this and you generously smother and slather the place with flabby Beautifly goo! It's actually hard to tell you were even once here because prior to blowing up, you were like 99% doughnuts and ice cream and other gunk. But now you've set it all free! So now there's half-digested ice cream, doughnuts, and candy everywhere!

Guess what!? The Squawkers and all their friends give it a 9.1/10 on the SESS! It's better than your last score! Shoot for even more collateral damage to boost your score!

Kawaii Armageddon Event #2: Squawkers Get Too Entertained from the Chaos!
The Squawkers are trying to make a comedy out of this disaster to help get sponsors and additional funding! You can't make this recording too entertaining!
6%/100%

Soren the EXPLODED MESS (M: Bug/Flying)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Staryu Hair Clip%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: EXTRA KABOOM!
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Movie Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

I'll work out just to be safe.

Thankfully, you're more inspired by Madder than Soren. ;D

You grab a massive barbell, pump iron like crazy, strap on ninja garb, overthrow an evil alien empire, and then jump rope with a freight train because it looks like fun. It's so fun. When that gets a little dry, you break redwood trees with your teeth and do your special RAWR dance.

Carly has used Awesomeness and dropped 2 points of Belly and 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!

You're wondering if you should try juggling planets next time.

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0.5/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Shruikan]

Hmm, where to go that isn't made of candy... I think I'll check (28) Sleep Like a Corpse National Park.

[arnisd]

Let's have a return to the (3) Batchyflaff Inflatable Industries, cause I can't ever have enough of inflatable goodies, but this time we'll explore the outisde

[Neo Emolga]

Let's explore more of this under water tower. Search 64a.

You decide to explore the great depths of the unknown! Just kidding, you've been here before, you're just checking out the outside stuff. But before you do...!

Marta has tacked on 4 points of Belly from the Overly Delicious Rain of Mega Doughnuts!

Ohhh, it's so good! Especially these chocolate ones. See, even if you hated chocolate with every fiber of your immortal soul, you'd still like these doughnuts.

You skip and hop your way to the It's Better Down Where It's Wetter and scope out the inside of the aquatic apartment building. It's quite relaxing and you observe that you can enter from any floor! It's just one of the many perks of living underwater!

You decide to check out the first four floors of this puppy, where you find for obvious reasons that there's no carpeting and there's no toilet paper, paper towels, or tissues! Wait, so where would they... you know what, just don't ask. Berf.

On the second floor, after poking your nose into other apartments to see what kind of junk these Pokémon have gathered up over the years, you find one odd apartment that has dark, occult scribbling on the walls. At first, you think it's something demonic and looks like an evil chant, but then on second review, it's really just a recipe for jambalaya.

On the desk of this odd, evil apartment, you find a bizarre and demonic-looking stapler. I mean really, it looks like a guillotine and a Feraligatr had a terrible lovechild and this is that nefarious spawn! Although you try it and it really works! But wow, horned staples! What will they think of next!?

You decide to take it with you. It's nifty!

[Sinister Stapler] has been added to the Team Pile!

You prowl around on the third floor, but you don't notice anything weird. Well okay, maybe the freezer filled with nothing but frozen carrots is a little odd, but beyond that, it's... at least mostly normal.

You decide to head back to base and do your dance thing!

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

I'm not feeling suicidal, so the search will have to wait. Tomorrow I'll keep searching the hotel, or escort someone into it with my perk. For now, it's time for more hardcore parkour!

You twitch. Your eyes glow. You hit level 100 and create the ZEXAN dimension and now reign as it's grand queen mystical commander... if you could only figure out a way to actually cross over into it. It's okay because you can still mass-email everyone there.

You hulk out, bend tanks with your tongue, you hop like a bunny, you know all the lyrics to Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire, you poop out a Pyroar, and then you get through Verizon's customer service number and get your issue resolved within seconds without being transferred!

Velo has obliterated 5 points of Belly and 1 point of Overwhelming Cuteness using the magnitude of the cosmos in the arcane form of Hardcore Parkour and randomly mastered jiu jitsu and sewing as well!

You feel awesome! You feel powerful and mighty! You randomly make a plushie of Lugia self and it's incredible! You bow and confetti rains from hammerspace!

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 1/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour