The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[ARandomTool]

Bless watched as the infernal spawn of the sparkles she had just massacred took their revenge on this world. Given that everything was already tourist-trap cute, it wasn't exactly very effective, but it tried nevertheless. Everyone seemed joyous and chipper (ugh) about it anyways, so now was the time to check a theory she had about that mad child, Bagz. Was he always that unstable, or was this recent that he had went... Sqwalker class insane? Only one way to find out.

Get Chatty with #40, Snackster, about Bagz, and if he's always been weird or if this was a new thing (ya know, like the start of all this chaos?) Also, where might be the best place to procure a weedwacker? A Thunderous Desire for Lawn Flaying brand one to be specific. Thank you!

[Neo Emolga]

Let's chat with #18 Kitzwit the pidgeotto.

You rush out all excited to chat it out with Kitzwit, but first!

Marta just got extra cute and fluffy with 4 extra points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

It tingles!

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

You rush in all happy-like to say hello to Kitzwit the Pidgeotto and as soon as she sees you, she goes jumping for joy at your arrival! YOU'RE BOTH SO EXCITED YOU NEARLY DANCE TOGETHER!

You ask Kitzwit what she knows about SQUAWKERS and she nods happily.

"Okay, okay, I'll admit that I've been STALKING THE BOOPLESNOOT POLICE OFFICERS!" Kitzwit laughs. "I guess that makes me a Stalker, doesn't it!? Actually it doesn't, because we don't talk about them in Booplesnoot! No sir-ee!"

"I can honestly tell you Biggs, Wedge, and Vivi are NOT SQUAWKERS!" Kitzwit tells you sincerely, before BARKING IN YOUR EAR. "I spied on Biggs for days and glory be in the highest, he's one dumb bunny! I mean he may be nice, but lordy be, he's an idiot, but in a really funny way! It really kind of excuses it. Well, somewhat. Probably would be better if he wasn't the POLICE SHERIFF OF BOOPLESNOOT! He should have been in a career that allows him to be more of a funny idiot! Like acting!"

"Wedge may be the only hope we have for our Booplesnoot Police Department!" Kitzwit cries sarcastically. "Although he's not the greatest thing since sliced bread either! Say, what's so great about sliced bread anyway? Who came up with that silly expression? Anyway, then you have Vivi who is just one big talking lug of dumb. You could ask her the time of day, and she'd just reply 'OH YES, I LIKE THAT TOO' before going nom-nom on whatever Squawker desserts are surrounding her this time."

"Oh, here, take this!" Kitzwit offers you.

She tosses, you catch, TOUCHDOWN AND THE CROWD GOES WILD OMG YES YES YES!

~[Flavored Fortune Cookie *Fortune Inside!* - NORMAL (+1 Overwhelming Cuteness)]~ added to the Team Pile

"Might have more junk about Al in there if you eat it!" Kitzwit smiles. "But I'm kind of on a diet. Those darn doughnuts last night are making me feel like I'm growing a blubber baby."

"Cheers and HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU, MARTA!" Kitzwit sings as she heads off to work.

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 5/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Noblejanobii]

You want me to go out in that? For some pesky interview? Eth no way. This place is way too cutesy I'm out of here.

Oh no you don't! Come on! We're going to interview #2 Whopper the Milktank whether you like it or not!

Ack! No! The cuteness! It burnssssss!!

[arnisd]

I'm going to work out, I feel to darn cute. Put on some death metal!

[Shruikan]

I'll go talk to #56 Frootkie the Quilava and ask them about what it's like having fire on your back all the time. Oh and if they know anything about the squawkers or anthing else suspicious.

[Neo Emolga]

Hm...I shall search (15) The A+++ Triple Platinum Five Star Fantaisie Restaurant

You rush out all excited and spunky and... weeeee!

Carly's getting some extra puppy love with 4 more points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

Twitching yet?

You then rush over to that funky A+++ Triple Platinum Five Star Fantaisie Restaurant to figure out what the deal is with this fancy place. From the outside, you can tell this place used to be really frilly and posh to the max, but well... so much for that! Everything's funky tea cake now!

@Tea Cake Tragedy - GRASS (+1 Belly)@
Carly has gained .5 points of Belly! Reduced damage because you're a badass fiery pupper!

You take a nibble and wow, barely any effect. Heck, you honestly don't even like it! Wow, suck it down, Squawkers! So much for your dreams of becoming the next Iron Chef!

You hunt through this tea cake mess disaster and try to find anything that survived the transformation. The truth is, not a whole lot remained unaffected. Just about every table, chair, booth, and even the bar got transformed. It also looked like they even had a fountain in the middle of the dining room that was big enough to swim in and had a lot of nice, fancy statues around. So much for that! It's all iffy tea cake now.

You search the kitchen and it's pretty much the same story. Hey, want to try cooking something with tea cake pots and pans!? Prepare for a really sucky time with that attempt! Oh, and the gas stove is tea cake, too, so that puts yet another nail in the coffin. The ovens, the sinks, the pots, the pans, nothing survived!

You then get to the back manager's office. Wow. So much for all the accounting records! And the computer. And all the other stuff like their desk, chair, bookcase, and trunk. Although you get to the back and hey, the safe survived! And wow, what a stupid, overly-frilly thing it is with its fanciful floral carving and other nonsense! You check it out and it seems like you can easily burn that lock down!

{Fancy Frilly Safe: +Fire Type+}

You FLAMETHROWER that sucker and yup, the door becomes easily dismissible molten goo and you check out the goodies inside! And your eyes light up when you see CASH!

$800 Snax$ has been added to the Team Pile!

You scurry out of there with your winnings and a smile on your face! What a delightfully happy doggo you are!

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: .5/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Neo Emolga]

Time to make the tiny mortals do my bidding! Dance for me, little mortals, dance!

Erm, ahem. I mean, Zuul! I do hate to drag you into this putrid pudding, and you've already been a huge help, but can you do me one favor? Just a tiny one. Heh.

Escort 3 Zuul the Minccino to (12a) Shut Up And Sleep Hotel Floors 1-4.

You CAN'T WAIT TO MEET ZUUL AGAIN but first... one little minor detail!

Velo just got extra adorable with 1 point of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday! Reduced damage from the Puns of Anarchy classy!

Ohhhh man, this just doesn't feel right!

You fly off to Zuul and though he's thrilled to see you, you then clue him in on the job.

"Oh sure, that sounds easy!" he smiles.

So you both head off and rush toward the Shut Up and Sleep Hotel where... oh yeah, that vanilla pudding. Geez. Well, you both can't help it. But hey, at least this time you've got company!

@Creamy Vanilla Pudding Deliciousness! - NORMAL (+2 Belly)@
Velo and Zuul have tacked on 2 points of Belly from the Creamy Vanilla Pudding Deliciousness!

"Mmm-mmm," Zuul hums with a smile as he shoves another wad of pudding into his mouth. "Oh damn these Squawkers for making this stuff too tasty!"

Okay, okay, back to the mission. You both head upstairs to that confounded ventilation duct and Zuul can totally see why you needed him for this mission. There's no way a giant Lugia is squeezing in there like John McClane. But a little Minccino has no problem with that at all! Zuul gets in there and looks around while you wait their patiently. With vanilla pudding dripping on your face. And your wings. And your tail. All while you try to avoid sinking through the gooey floor!

{Ventilation Duct: ^Small Pokémon^}

Zuul comes out, proudly showing you his findings! Why, it looks like a belt with a nifty shield on it! It's meant for guarding against silly Pikachu transformations, but it has the bonus power of repelling overall cuteness! That's quite nifty!

%PSG Power Guard (-1 Overwhelming Cuteness for each instance of affliction)% has been added to the Team Pile!

Oooh, that should come in handy! You proudly thank Zuul for his services and he agrees you both should do this again sometime! It's fun and adventurous! What's life without a little craziness and risk every now and then!?

You repay the favor by letting Zuul ride on your back while you go flying all over town and he's waving a cowboy hat shouting "Yeee-haw!" and all the fun jazz. And you have no clue where he got that hat. Or the boots. Or the jacket. Or where the wild west music is coming from.

What a fun day for you both!

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

[Neo Emolga]

Bless watched as the infernal spawn of the sparkles she had just massacred took their revenge on this world. Given that everything was already tourist-trap cute, it wasn't exactly very effective, but it tried nevertheless. Everyone seemed joyous and chipper (ugh) about it anyways, so now was the time to check a theory she had about that mad child, Bagz. Was he always that unstable, or was this recent that he had went... Sqwalker class insane? Only one way to find out.

Get Chatty with #40, Snackster, about Bagz, and if he's always been weird or if this was a new thing (ya know, like the start of all this chaos?) Also, where might be the best place to procure a weedwacker? A Thunderous Desire for Lawn Flaying brand one to be specific. Thank you!

Bless slaps on 1 point of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday! Reduced damage because of the Puns of Anarchy Style!

Ooh, that felt a bit tingly!

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

While Snackster the Charizard is normally a suspicious and guile chap, why, not today! You ask that plucky Charizard about Bagz.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Snackster laughs. "Bagz isn't just a normal idiot. He takes it to a level of mastery. He's good if you're bored. Now if he were a Squawker... well, I don't know. I think he might even be too stupid for Squawkers to possess. See, if I were a Squawker, would I want to take over someone so heinously moronic like that? Might even be too much for their standards!"

"Looking for weedwackers, huh?" Snackster asked, looking away and thinking it over. "Landscapers probably have one. They've got trucks around, though I imagine some of them must have just fled after the city started turning into candied goo. I think there's one at the Glam Glam Casino. Well, what used to be a casino anyway!"

As you look at Snackster, you see him pull out what looks like a high-coveted item to him. It looks like a military manual with a next codex and... he slams it shut when he sees you spying on it!

"No, no, no-no-no-no-no!" Snackster shakes his head. "I mean... well, you're a REALLY COOL Umbreon and I think we should play beer pong sometime, but these codes... THEY'RE MINE! Unless... well, I need new hardware. You're rich, right!? Sure you are! Get me that new iPhony 89! And that gnarly Phony Slaystation 4! I think then that'll be a fair trade!"

Well, you could be creative, too.

40 Snackster the Charizard: (iPhony 89 AND Phony Slaystation 4) OR <Browser History Hacking>

"Hey, come on, pal, I know you can afford it! I want that stuff bad!"

You snicker when you think "just how bad."

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

[Neo Emolga]

You want me to go out in that? For some pesky interview? Eth no way. This place is way too cutesy I'm out of here.

Oh no you don't! Come on! We're going to interview #2 Whopper the Milktank whether you like it or not!

Ack! No! The cuteness! It burnssssss!!

FEEEEEEL THE BURNNNNNNNN!!!!

If you like cute Mimikyus, you're in for a treat because Madder slaps on 4 points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

You decide to harass the appropriately-named Whopper the Miltank. You find normally Whopper is a prima donna, is a bit of a snot, and loves to shop until her credit cards have an aneurism-induced seizure.

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Super Pink Happy Squeee Kawaii Holiday!

"Well, well, hello hun!" she tells you, giving you a big, fat hug. "Betcha didn't think I'd do that now!"

You nod. Awkwardness increases. You ask about the Squawkers and if good ol' Whopper knows anything about their nefarious deeds of prime evil and dried boogers.

"I tell ya, something about Bappyboo has me wondering," Whopper insists. "She was always an annoying twit and fruiter than fruitcake, but when things got really hairy with them Squawkers, good heaven to Betsy, she went even more nuts. I think she's just the kind of nutbox the Squawkers would be interested in, but maybe it's just me."

"Maybe Snooki too," Whopper wonders. "She's been acting actually cute and peachy, lately. Probably up to no good! I don't know if she's a Squawker or not for real, but she's up to some suspicious funny business."

"Oh, I have something I really should have gotten rid of, but maybe you'd look better with it!" Whopper insists, throwing something really oddly colorful at you. "Totally not my style!"

You're confused, but then you find yourself scrambling to catch this bizarre thing she just threw at you that looks like a butterfly wing and...

#Super Adorable Aura - BUG (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 63 out of 100: FAILED!

Madder gets .75 points of extra Overwhelming Cuteness from the Super Adorable Aura! Reduced damage because you're a funny ghost with a love for Halloween!

#[Left Rainbow Butterfly Wing] Super Adorable Aura - BUG (+3 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

What kind of funky weird... you know what, you're not even going to ask.

"Have fun now, hun!" Whopper waves you goodbye. "Don't forget to eat your fruits and vegetables!"

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8.75/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

I'm going to work out, I feel to darn cute. Put on some death metal!

You're extremely darn cute! This is a bad thing and it's good that you recognize this as a threat to national security. You do your civic duty by utilizing death metal, a time-honored tradition and custom of growling, snarling, hog-squealing, and screaming. The lights flash. You get random fires and the whole Peep base shakes with your thunderous thrashing and mayhem. You wear armor made of bones.

You bench press a rusted truck. You bend iron bars with your teeth. You floss with razor wire. You jump rope with spiked chains and you use a flamethrower and randomly set a trash can on fire. You get a good whiff just because you can. You smash glass. You upset the neighbors. You steal their barbecue grill. You turn that same barbecue grill into a bulldozer tank. You overthrow ninja masters.

Dio has dropped 2 points of Belly and 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness!

You feel better. There's still plenty of cuteness to shake off, but it feels good to have anarchy running through your veins again.

Dio the Stalwart Vibrava (M: Ground/Dragon)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal