The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

Woo! Now that I've got my caffeine shot it's time for a workout! What do you want for a workout snack, Madder?

The souls of the innocent.

Uhhh how about a bagel?

No! That's not enough sustenance!

How about two bagels?

... fine. But then after that we're talking to 51 Baconz the Grumpig [D] F. Or else.

Yeah yeah fine.

ACTION #1

Workout you must! You reach atomic levels of madness and go into a mania spin! You fill with rage that could overflow a universe and as a result, you do a binky. You know, the midair jump twist thing a bunny does when they're really happy.

As part of your healthy workout, you grab a giant minigun that shoots nukes and you nuke a planet enough times that it blows into pieces. You grab a giant tennis racket and you go all tennis on those pieces. You chew on a rock and flex into beastly forms.

This act of severe madness has caused Madder to drop 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness!

You grin. An evil grin, but nonetheless, a grin. You feel ready to torment the world a little more.

---

ACTION #2

You seek out Baconz. Mostly because you wonder how her soul tastes.

Interview Rapport: NEUTRAL, INTIMIDATING
+Intimidation (Ghost VS Psychic)

While Velo made friends with Baconz, you feel differently. No, Baconz needs harassment. Baconz needs to be tormented and to spend the night screaming from the evil, evil dreams you keep spilling into her head! Like dreaming she's taking the final exam of a calculus course she forgot to attend all semester long! Do you know how many times I've had that horrible dream? MANY TIMES! And it SUCKS!

You grin evilly at Baconz, knowing she can only quake, tremble, and wet herself in your presence. You demand knowledge about the Squawkers and give Baconz such a deal. If she cooperates, you'll eat their souls instead of hers.

She wets herself.

"I-I..." she stutters. "I-I just don't know! I mean, I only... I only know of what I-I've heard others talking about! Eeeek, I don't want to be eaten!"

"Baconz..." you smile wickedly as your alignment with the dark side of the Force grows stronger. "I will get either answers or sustenance from you."

"Y̳͚͖O̯͉͟U̧̧͇̮R̰͚͔̟̺̻̼̦͢͝ ̴̛̤͕̟̜̙̼͙̼͜C̨̧̗̩̙͉͚̝̖H̬̣̩Ò̶͓̯̻̭̫̺̟ͅI̧̻̩͔̝̤̙̮̟̕C̰̭ ̹̦Ȩ̮̣̹͍̖̥.̨̝̝͉͓̥͡ͅ"

...

"B-B-Bappyboo," Baconz squeals like the edible piglet she is. "There's... s-something wrong with her! And I've heard others! O-others have said it too! Oh my god! She's a f-freak! She's always been a freak, but I'm sure the S-Squawkers have turned her into more of a freak!"

She trembles as she withdraws into the puddle of pee she created around herself. Her fear is delicious. Her panic is delectable.

You turn around and the room goes dark. The theme from SAW plays. Baconz is traumatized for life. The children have locked themselves inside their homes. The angels weep. The subscription to Netflix expires. A phone battery dies. A blue screen of death. A tooth falls out.

Best day ever.

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 2.75/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking