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Caleb's Rant! Part 1

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Aight, so..

When I was a teenager I used to have a notebook of just random things that bugged me. So I'm going to do that again. I would go on and on about the silliest things, from teen pregnancy, to grease covered cheeseburger buns. You've seen it, and you know it sucks. Hopefully it'll be as entertaining as it was back then. Or perhaps even more serious. Which is actually where I'll start this. On a very serious note. Because there is a thing I have to get off my chest, and you gaggle of goofballs are really all I have to vent my frustrations to. So let's just go ahead and get this party started.

The first thing I want to talk about is me. By me, I mean understanding me on an emotional level. This is very easy to do. If I like you, you're in a good place with me, and I will back you 100% unless you do something which would make me dislike you. I mean, you would have to essentially shatter my trust in you, take something which is precious to me, and/or do the same to someone precious to me. I think that's basically the same for everyone. But other than that, you could kill a total stranger to me, and I'd be like, 'Meh, he probably deserved it. See you when you get out of prison.'

If I love you, that's a different story. The potential of shattering my trust is higher, and all the more devastating. But the bond I feel with you is that much stronger, and I am far more willing to go out of my way for you. When I love, I love strong. I am passionate, and devoted to that bond. Say you killed that person, I would either take the fall for you, OR with you. 'Yeah, my buddy killed him, but I handed him the knife and held the guy down. I'm telling you, this guy deserved it.'

Now let's move on to dislike. If I dislike you, that doesn't mean I don't still respect you. There may be a hint of admiration hidden behind my general disdain. I won't hesitate to tell you what I think of you, and what I think you should do with your opinion (If words were a solid entity, your buttox would have a really rough time.). There isn't any trust to be had, and there isn't much, if any common ground to stand on.

Hatred. I don't hate. Hate is bad. If I do hate you, just know it's not as bad as what I'm about to explain.

Nothing. If I feel absolutely nothing towards you. This can either be the best thing, or the worst. A best case scenario is that I barely know you, or don't know you at all. This usually means that I can be made to like or dislike you. That only takes about 5 minute of your time in a conversation. Now if I do know you, I've come to the point where you've done something to me, or to someone I care about that was actually SO BAD, that I erased you from my life. No hatred, no dislike, nothing. This is the worst, especially if you had some level of emotional attachment to me. Because to me, if you died tomorrow, it'd be Tuesday for me. It wouldn't be a blip on my radar, it wouldn't faze me in the slightest. Because to me, you're already dead. To me you don't exist, and you probably never will, again.

You might be asking, how is this worse than hate? Well, with hatred, you still get some level of emotional reaction from me. You still get some connection that you can some how feed off of. But if I erase that connection, there's no way you can get to me on an emotional level. You're that cut off that you don't even matter. That if you died tomorrow, I wouldn't care at all. That to me, is a lot worse than being hated. Because that cold feeling, that lonely empty space inside, would eat at me like no other.

So there's the 5 stages of understanding me on an emotional level; Like, Love, Dislike, Hate, and NOTHING. There is only one person on this entirely planet who has experienced the bad side of nothing from me. That person is my brother. If you know me, you know why that is. If you don't know read a blog or two. Learn some stuff. My life is a tragic mess, and a good read. My Autobiography would be a fantastic Indie film.

I would continue, but my 3DS Download for Pokemon Yellow just finished, and that is way more interesting to me than typing. Thanks for reading though. Catch you on Caleb's Rant! Part 2!

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