@Neo Emolga

i do mind you saying, yes. my purpose in engaging the subject was that you had already tried to shift the focus of this discussion towards it, so i felt the need to address the point at least before, i had hoped, setting it aside. and while frankly i believe that you are not in a position right now -- as someone who is personally unaffected by this massacre, as (i presume) a cisgender and heterosexual man -- to argue about guns in the light of this event, i had a fair bit of perspective to contribute, which i now feel you have not seriously attempted to consider. honestly, how dare you attempt to twist this into defense of a murder weapon that has been used to great effect and which i personally must live in fear of now, anywhere i go that might advertise my identity, just because you feel entitled to it? how absolutely dare you? heres the difference between those bombs and guns: bombs are illegal, and guns, which are still consistently used to kill minorities like myself, are not. you get caught with a bomb, youre in trouble. you get caught with a legally-acquired gun, especially in a concealed carry state, and thats apparently just fine, despite its destructive capacity which has been proven time and time again. that terrifies me.

secondly, how dare you attempt to insinuate that mental illness is the cause? i am mentally ill. i am also certified as a psychologist. so forgive me for being angered that you continue to talk about whatever mental disturbance you believe this man might have felt, when he was very clearly driven instead by hatred, by intolerance. by conflating the two, you are doing exactly what the media, what systemic and deeply-ingrained prejudice, wants you to do. these types of attacks are blamed on the mentally ill, on muslims, on any marginalized community who seems like an easy target, to draw away from this prejudice which drives the attacks. you probably have internalized quite a bit of this prejudice, whether you would act on it or not. perhaps this is why you feel the need to bring up mental illness and islam, when that is not the issue at hand. discussing prejudices that you may have perpetuated or internalized in some way, shape, or form can be quite uncomfortable. as it should be. these are not comfortable topics. but they are real. do not deflect.

thirdly, are you suggesting that gun education might have stopped this attack? that this man who had legally acquired a gun and, as i understand it, owned it as part of his job and therefore was quite educated about its use, would not have used it the same way if only he had been educated?

i am furious. i am genuinely livid that you are taking a tragedy and trying to argue that well, yes, this was quite bad wasnt it, but guns are still alright as long as ~crazy people~ dont get their hands on them! glad thats not me!

and for the record, i stand by my earlier statement about the constitution being outdated. rights are great! of course they are. but you know when the amendment about the right to bear arms was written? 1791. i happen to feel that in the time that has passed since then, the political and social climate is maybe a little different, and the "arms" in question arent muskets and swords anymore. they are advanced machines with the capacity to do, as one has done just last night, incredible damage to large amounts of people (over 100 dead and injured) in a very short amount of time (3 hours). despite your confidence in the system which you feel filters out anyone who might put these weapons to unsavory use, this still happens. the ready availability of these things will never bring me comfort, or in fact anything short of intense fear. if you cannot understand this, then you are lucky. you are not someone who has to worry that you will be killed just for your identity, and therefore it must be very easy to defend your guns, knowing they wont be turned on you.

i refuse to continue this any further, although i felt that i had to respond before taking some time to myself, because while i am full of anger and i am upset, i was too guilty thinking of those who can no longer speak in their own defense to remain quiet myself. now i need to take a break. i need to mourn without feeling like i must defend my indignation when i see people like you taking advantage of this incident for your own agenda.

respond to this if you want to, but i wont be reading it for a while. i need to unplug. i am tired.