The Above Poster's Obituary

[Arrow-Jolteon]

This morning a decomposed body was found in the woods next to the city. The body has been identified as that of Fate, who had been missing for two weeks. The body was surrounded by dozens of plushies, which have been identified as being those a Pokemon known as "Absol". According to family and friends, Absol was Fate's favorite character, and Fate claimed that one day he would obtain the creature's ability to predict natural disasters. Polie believe that Fate had taken the plushies to the woods in order to try and predict any natural disasters that could happen, but Fate was unlucky in more ways than one; Fate ended up being suffocated by one of his own beloved Absol plushies in his sleep. Our hearts go out to him, his family and friends.

Well, I tried :P