The Above Poster's Obituary

[Fate]

Reviving this again.

A funeral was held earlier today for Sloane, 19, an aspiring writer and avid collector of Shaymin merchandise. Sloane had recently undergone eye surgery, which was met with great success. Unfortunately, it proved to be too successful. Her eyes became so brilliant that they literally shined. As she looked at herself in the mirror one morning, the radiance of her new eyes temporarily blinded her. In her panic, she fumbled around the bathroom, knocking various items off the shelves and ultimately landing head-first into the open toilet. Realizing where she was, she immediately died of disgust.

Was it worth it, @Noblejanobii?