Forgive and forget, or hold a grudge?

[sniff]

I hate to be the one who seems like a complete jerk but sometimes I feel like people shouldn't be given another chance if they're undeserving of it. As a person who was stabbed in the back a lot in middle school, I allowed people too many second chances and I've learned that not everyone changes. In all honesty, sometimes relationships between people, even something as friendships, aren't meant to be, especially if they cause undue burdens on one or both parties. So if something happened then maybe it's for the best.

Also I gotta disagree, sincere apologies, gentleness, and selflessness would not have healed the wounds my friends gave me following our falling outs. Time is the only thing that fixed those grudges and, as I said before, it took two years before I was willing to let it go and move past it. I mean, it's great that you feel that way, but that will not work in every case so I wouldn't bank on that for every scenario. If someone's got a reason to be holding a grudge, just apologizing won't work all of the time.

But that's just my opinion! I don't know anything really about anyone's scenario to be able to give true advice but hey, everyone's experiences are different so sometimes the best thing to do is to take into consideration what everyone may be feeling after a grudge forming event rather than just your own! That usually helps me when I'm trying to figure out how to make up with someone and I'm the one at fault.

@Noblejanobii oh yeah you're definitely right! apologies and stuff definitely don't fix situations or make it so that someone has to forgive them. I guess I was just trying to think of ways that someone who may have mistreated someone might help lessen their pain? Doesn't mean they should be friends again or that it will fix the hurt done, I guess sometimes it just helps the hurt person be able to move on if they know that the other was truly sorry, even if their relationship doesn't continue beyond that! it's essential in relationships to consider the other person, but in the end people do have to put themselves in a situation where they feel the most safe