Through the Eyes of a Flareon [PG] (Chapter 31 FINALLY up)

[Suicune's Fire]

WOW THANKS! I love hearing your thoughts! XD And I also love how it gives you more questions than answers. And nah, the Monogatari Karei was just something specific to the umbreon, and has nothing to do with the story, really. xD He was a guest star of someone who...I think is on this site, but was on Pe2k. xD And yeah, Sed. :C WELL I HOPE YOU KEEP ENJOYING YOURSELF. <3

[Dragon Master Mike]

FINALLY! INTERNET! WORKING INTERNET! Now that i can get on using a mouse and keyboard, i will leave my thoughts on the chapters i read while i was stuck on my tablet (10-14).

Spoiler:

Wow, the chapters got really long. FIRST GM CROPS, NOW GM POKEMON? WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO!?!?!?!? And poor Luck and Roarake D=. Also, I can't believe that Izante turned out to betray Dusty! You really portrayed Dusty's emotions (Particularly her sadness) very well; so well that I could feel them myself. I'm really hoping that Izante makes a reappearance. I would actually be pretty surprised if she doesn't show up again at some point.

Really the only thing about the story so far I have to criticize is the fact that I think it jumps around perspectives a little too much, which can get confusing. Also how it jumped to the future briefly then the 15 minutes earlier thing really confused me at first. The first part is most likely just more personal preference, but the second part, i think you should either have somehow made it clearer that it had jumped into the future, or ended the chapter and made the jump the start of the next chapter. Oh, and there were a few times i saw where it looked like you had tried to italisize something but you accidentelly typed [/I][/I] and stuff like that instead of

just curious since if it said this somewhere, i missed it: How old are Dusty and Izante?

[Suicune's Fire]

Haha yeah, the chapters get a little longer, too. xD I usually have around 8,000-10,000 words per chapter now. I think chapter twelve was 12,000 or something. *checks* Nope, it's 14,000 words. XD And yep, Izante is a buttpie. :c And thanks! 8D I'm glad you think so. And yes, she will reappear, don't you worry. xD

Oh really? I don't think I switch perspectives often. xD Only really when I need to show another pokemon's point of view. Haha, yeah, that was meant to be confusing, though. I wanted to end the chapter on a "Huh?" note. xD And don't worry, I fixed up the italics problem. :] I think it was only in one place. xD

I don't think I specified, but I aimed for them to be teenagers. My pokemon years to human years calculation is probably a little confusing though. xD


Thanks for reading! :D

[Dragon Master Mike]

I haven't been posting comments lately so I decided to post before I forgot the comments I had in mind. Wow, You really enjoy making us question what is going on XD. Azure at the colony, the random attack (that i suspect has something to do with team rocket), and of course what i'm still wondering: What ever happened to the others who got off the ship? I'm sure the first two, and I would think the third at least partially will all be answered. Still very much enjoying. Also, really? Only teenagers? I imagined them in their early twenties. Although teenagers makes more sense with how Dusty's maturity level can be. Just curious, How do you pick character names? The names in the story (Zhol, Izante, ETC) are really interesting (In a good way). Also, there Is one more time that you did the [I][I] thing. Paragraph 19 of chapter 10 (It may have been chapter 11 but I am pretty sure it was chapter 10). Oh, and right now, I think the last chapter I read was chapter 19.

EDIT: more comments.

I read to chapter 22 last night, and I have one thing to say. Dusty... What are you doing...? She clearly isn't trying to make any friends XD. And seriously, she tells bibi not wynore about Luck? Its times like these I really wish I could talk to the characters XD. Still though, great chapters.

[Suicune's Fire]

Lol yes, I do love to keep readers guessing. It amuses me to hear theories, too. Some of them get answered... others I have yet to write. xD Some of the things I've actually forgotten about because it's been so long, unfortunately, but hopefully most things won't escape my memory.

As for the names, well some of the characters are actually guest stars. Izante is actually a name created by an ex-friend of mine who I actually began the story with. She was writing from Izante's point of view and I from Dusty's, but she stopped writing the story because we kept having clashing opinions. The original direction of the story was completely different to what I made the story into; I doubt she ever wrote anymore, whereas I branched off and made it my own story. Zhol was a guest star, though I lost her personality information so the only thing I still have left of her guest star form (made by someone on Pe2k, as were all the other guest stars), is her species and her name. xD Most of the names I made up, but some of them I didn't (mostly a few pokémon on the ship, such as Hakumei (hope I spelled that right xD). But yeah, otherwise I just randomly come up with them. I have a document with a list of names I've thought of at times that I refer to when I need a name for a character. Oh lol, thanks. I'll fix that up. x) If you see any other mistakes, don't hesitate to let me know!

xDD Yep, that's one of those times where I dragged it out unnecessarily... I actually got feedback from someone who told me that she didn't like the fact that I dragged it out since there was no point to it, and if anything it just caused anxiety for her. Oops. I sort of regret doing that, but don't worry, it gets cleared up soon. xD LOL THANKS. <3

[ninjaskarmory]

I'm not that far into this, but I must say that I'm very impressed! It's a really good story with vivid description and captivating displays of emotion. You've inspired me to go through my story in progress, Autumn Lights, and strengthen all of the weak words and sentences. Great job, Suicune's Fire!

[Suicune's Fire]

Ah, thank you so much! :] Glad to hear it! :D And that's awesome that I could inspire you! *v* It always makes me happy. xD Thanks for reading!


~SF.

[Dragon Master Mike]

OK. I finally read the whole thing!

I really liked it. I started to like it a little less towards the end, but I don't think that was because of anything you did to make it not as good. I think part of it is that I kinda want them to get out of the caves and for another major plot event to happen. Overall though, It was really good. You put an insane amount of detail into this, and I can't believe how long the chapters are! That part towards the end with the water, your description made me cringe just thinking about what that water must have smelled like, and then the fact that they all fell in!

I think I can summarize my review for the story in two words: Write more.

[Suicune's Fire]

LOL Yeah, I know what you mean. =/ I began to get impatient with it too. xD In the next chapter they do get out, so hopefully it'll start to get better after that. :] I decided to totally revamp the story though, and that involves heavily collaborating with a friend of mine (he won't be writing any of TtEoaF though; we're just going to combine our story worlds and have characters in each other's stories and corresponding events and such) so I don't feel like I can write much more until we've sorted out what's going to happen. I do have part of the next chapter written though, so for the rest of that, and hopefully for a few chapters after, I won't need to have stuff planned with him... It's just a matter of actually writing it. XD

Thanks so much for reading! :D I'm appreciative of the feedback as well!


~SF.

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

Awesome that you're writing this again! Reminding myself to read it later! @Pokemon Trainer Sarah

Also that chapter looks so long, it took forever to scroll down here on my phone xD