Page 1 of 10 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 93
  1. #1
    Cheers and good times! Neo Emolga's Avatar
    Senior Administrator

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    17,439

    PXR Adventures! (We make fun of you!)


    Because after you've made silly fun of everything else, why not make silly fun of PXR? >:3

    Here, anyone can post stories about all your favorite PXR members as characters undergoing any goofy adventures of madness and insanity. It's nothing personal, just what we do. So if you've always wanted to reimagine PXR as a goofy Saturday morning cartoon, here's a great place to do it!

    If you're a PXR member, you might appear in another person's story! And they might have all kinds of goofy things happen to you! It's all in good, goofy fun, so don't take it too seriously if something weird befalls you in the story. But don't just stand there, get them back in the same way and write a funny story about them instead!

    The Library of Insanity Directory

    Lovers' Trouble (Starring Chakramaster and Lunar Latias!) - Neo Emolga
    Sarah's Steam Sellout (Starring Pokémon Trainer Sarah!) - Noblejanobii
    Just Another Or-ditto-nary Day (Starring Pokémon Trainer Sarah and STD/ERR Members!)- Pokemon Trainer Sarah
    Xanthe's Xeriscape Exploit (Starring Suicune's Fire) - Noblejanobii
    A Springtime Celebration (Starring Chakramaster and Chibi Altaria) - Chakramaster
    Last edited by Noblejanobii; 06-26-2017 at 02:45 AM.

  2. This post has been liked by:


  3. #2
    Cheers and good times! Neo Emolga's Avatar
    Senior Administrator

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    17,439


    Starring Chakramaster and Lunar Latias!

    PXR Mission Control Room

    There was a feeling of dread throughout the mission control room. The air was cold, the room was dark and only lit by the dim glow of the monitors hanging on the walls and suspended from the ceiling, and the Moderator Council had been watching the screens and footage of what could only be described as chaos and anarchy. Citizens running in fear, buildings on fire, and robotic armies of spammechs rampaging through the streets.

    For the longest time, the leaders of the nation known as Pokémon Crossroads had been facing a global threat that had ravaged so many other Pokémon nations. Despite the world's best efforts to eliminate the infiltrator terrorist leader MichaelXD, all attempts to destroy the maniacal dark enigma and his shadow machine army of spammechs had only delayed the Dark Lord's campaign. To the Council, it was like trying to kill a riddle.

    "He's a cockroach!" the Snivy named Speed-X spat as she watched the screens, throwing her arms down in frustration. "No matter how many times we stomp him, he just keeps coming back like some persistent zombie! And these annoying, spamming machines! They wreck everything we've worked so hard to build and just fill it with crap!"

    The grass snake growled, shutting her eyes in anger as she clenched her fists. For all the damage and lives lost to the Dark Lord, MichaelXD was past redemption. Past forgiveness. But most of all, like ice cream and lasagna put together in a blender, he was far past understanding. No one knew why and no one knew how one individual could be so persistent and have such a mastery of repetition besides those that have overplayed Candy Crush. Meanwhile, his endless army of machines were just as relentless as their master was, mindlessly determined to lay waste to everything the PXR Council and the peaceful, albeit sometimes crazy, citizens of Pokémon Crossroads held dear.

    Wherever the dark machines went, they left only chaos and disorder in their wake. Their dark force of what could only be described as infernal magic had left many citizens without homes before their sanity was consumed as what could only be described as nonsensical "product offers," "Cambogia benefits," and "online payday advance." It was a level of chaos that no one of sane mind could possibly fathom or understand, but it was rumored that those who had suffered long-term exposure to the vocals of Justin Beiber could slightly grasp from similar traumatizing experiences.

    "He is... relentless," Sarah the Bulbasaur sighed, looking distraught at the output screens. "He's sent infiltrator units throughout the Discord and Skype networks as well. Max.exe. Rakatu.exe. Destroying them wasn't enough. Once they went down, others simply took their place. It's an endless cycle..."

    "It feels like nothing is enough!" Speed-X shouted, gritting her teeth in anger as she pointed to the screens depicting the carnage. "This is an endless game of Whack-a-Mole! Once his Shadow Network found ours, that did it! But we can't just unplug everything! Look at what happened to PE2K! That's exactly what would happen if we were to evacuate again. Everything there was overrun by those machines and it was like swimming in a landfill of spam! We can't just have another exodus. And you know he would just find us sooner or later. He always does..."

    A feeling a dismay had crawled up everyone's spine, sending a chill throughout the room. They knew, deep inside, that no matter what happened, they couldn't start over again. They came too far to have to give it all up now. This was their home, and they had to protect it. With slingshots and noisemakers if need be, but preferably something that was outlawed in all fifty states except Texas.

    "We won't," Sarah told the Snivy with a determined voice. "MichaelXD's Shadow Network is strong, but we're stronger. We have the best operatives out there doing whatever they can. They've been training for years. They know what to look for."

    "But we need to put an end to him for good this time," Xanthe the Flareon stressed to the Bulbasaur. "Not just shut down his frontline attack force. We need to be on the offensive here. Someone has to infiltrate his Shadow Network and find out what the heart of it is. Or else we might as well be trying to clean a bathroom with a turkey sandwich!"

    "She's right," Neo the Emolga nodded, knowing this is what had to be done. "MichaelXD can't be invisible. He's evasive and highly annoying, yes, but he and the source of his machines have to exist somewhere. It's time to stop playing nice."

    Sarah softly nodded her head in agreement, agreeing with the flying squirrel's plans, but she knew it would be a dangerous mission. She knew what the Dark Lord MichaelXD was capable of when it came to a frontline offense, but there was no telling what could be waiting for whoever tried to step into the beating heart of such a relentless, insane madman and all the byproducts of his darkest imagination. No one even knew what the Shadow Network was like from the inside! It was like trying to imagine what it would be like trying to fight a circus robot covered in poo that kept vomiting Zubat after Zubat after Zubat and like a million alligators.

    It was something that Sarah knew mortal eyes weren't meant to see, and she would feel remorse for whoever would have to undergo such a mission. She had to decide on someone brave. Someone strong. Someone resilient. Someone who would not fear such sights and sounds of insanity. Someone who successfully completed the Adventure Time Marathon Training.

    "Who did you have in mind, Neo?" Sarah asked the sly flying squirrel.

    "Gemma and Eric," Neo nodded with a cunning smile. "Operatives Lunar Latias and Chakramaster."

    "Are you sure they're ready?" Speed-X asked, looking at Neo curiously as she tapped her foot. "Neo, for something like this, if they even come back, they may never be the same. You know that sometimes these special ops missions leave these operatives slightly less like themselves. I'm sure you remember what happened with Operative Trainer17, right?"

    "Ohhh, those nachos..." Sam the Riolu moaned and closed his eyes as he recalled a rather disturbing memory. "Please... never... never ever again."

    But Neo knew someone had to do it, even if he knew it might mean eating nachos laced with Carolina Reaper peppers and then feel like they were pooping fireballs hours later. He wouldn't have even considered it if he didn't think PXR's renown Pikachu tag team was ready. But he knew their love for each other was strong. Together, they would stop the madness that MichaelXD had created. He didn't think it would ruin them like Speed-X the Snivy had warned him.

    "They can do it," Neo smiled. "I know them. Xanthe and I will be their mission handlers. We've survived Ditto invasions. We've even survived Undertale assimilation where many countries did not. They can stop him. They have everything they need."

    "Then make the call," Sarah smiled, confident in the Emolga's decision. "Time to show MichaelXD the business end of PXR's sharpest blade."

    "Winky face!" Xanthe chimed in.



    PXR Prism National Park

    It was a beautiful day outside in Prism Park. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and on days like this, kids with an a psychotic affection for knives were burning in hell.

    The sunlight gently flowed down upon the park, and as it hit the many prism-like ornaments scattered throughout the park, it casted rainbows upon all the Pokémon enjoying the afternoon. Families, lovers, picnic-goers, children, poets, and a weird guy who takes up a whole park bench as he plays guitar and gives others dirty looks for not tipping were all there.

    Among them was a loving Pikachu pair, sitting side by side, enjoying a freshly-brewed batch of mint tea and delicious maple syrup cookies.

    "Will you stay with me forever?" Eric the Pikachu said adoringly and poetically to Gemma. "Sharing love together?"

    "So it seems," Gemma replied with a sweet smile, kissing him on his red cheek. "You're the Pikachu of my dreams."

    They hugged and cuddled as the birds were chirping and a gentle breeze passed by. It couldn't have been a more perfect, poetic, and sincere moment, but then all of a sudden, a massive foot crushed their teapot and cookies, making a mess of their picnic blanket in the process. It was a sudden atrocity even worse than the invention of clamshell packaging.

    Horrified at the sudden intrusion, Gemma and Eric looked up to see a grizzly and angry Ursaring, a snarling Zoroark, and a devious and wicked Krookodile, looking down upon them and sadistically enjoying how their sweet picnic and loving moment was suddenly ruined. It would have been better if a Hippowdon had taken a diarrhea dump all over it instead.

    "You're sitting in our spot, vermin," the brown bear Ursaring snarled with a satisfied grin of evil, using the grass to wipe the tea and cookie crumb mess off of his foot. "That's going to cost you."

    "You did not just do that!" Eric called out in anger. "How could you!?"

    "Easy," the Ursaring snarled with an evil smile as he lifted his foot and stomped it on the ground again. "Just like this."

    Eric and Gemma couldn't believe it. How could any Pokémon be so heartless and cruel!?

    "I'm warning you..." Eric told the burly brown bear as he got to his tiny yellow feet and pointed at him with an angry face. "We're not someone you want to mess with."

    "Really!?" the dark wolf Zoroark laughed hysterically as the others chuckled. "Whatchu gonna do, Pikachu? Wanna know why we didn't bring lunch with us today? That's right. It's because you're lunch."

    "Mmm, mmm, mmm," the evil red and black Krookodile licked his chops with an evil look in his shady eyes. "I don't even care if you're white meat or dark meat. You both look... delicious. So juicy."

    It all happened so fast. Suddenly, the Krookodile snatched Gemma up by her thunderbolt tail, and left her shocked and dangling just above the Krookodile's open maw.

    This was an occurrence that was simply unacceptable. So wrong that it immediately gave Eric and Gemma full diplomatic immunity and legal pardon and could not be held responsible for their actions. They were no longer bound by the constraints of the Geneva Convention. All nuclear sanctions had been lifted.

    Immediately, Eric dashed toward the Krookodile and slammed him in the face with POWERMAX THUNDERCRUSHFIST OMEGA ULTIMATE. Instant carnage and electrical mayhem. Just before the Krookodile was instantly sterilized and sent flying off into the stratosphere, his grip on Gemma was let go and she quickly jumped out of the way as the velocity of the dark crocodile left a deafening sonic boom in his wake. To this day, no one knows where he landed, but we are convinced the damage was well beyond his health insurance.

    "Gotcha!" The Zoroark laughed as he grabbed Eric, causing his claws to dig under Eric's yellow fur. "Let's see what you taste like!"

    As Gemma recovered from Krookodile's attempts to eat her, she saw what had happened to Eric as he struggled to escape the Zoroark's grasp. Her eyes widened. Her fury unleashed. Her rage unsheathed. Her limits broken. She was suddenly surrounded by raging thunder and mystical fire. Wings of furious divine flame burst from her back and were spread out with mighty fire as crimson embers were thrown in all directions. A ring of glorious white fiery fury surrounded her. She shouted a legendary war cry and surged toward the Zoroark, cheeks blazing with white thunder and a cry that shook the earth.

    Contact. The Zoroark's health insurance would not cover this either.

    The Zoroark lit up like a redneck Thanksgiving turkey deep fry gone horribly, horribly wrong and was immediately flung into the sky before bursting into beautiful clusters of sparkling fireworks. There was some red, some orange, some white, and stuff like that. Really glittery stuff. You know the kind.

    "Oooh!" A young Azurill cheered to her mother as she witnessed the cosmic fireworks blasting of the Zoroark. "It's so pretty! What are they celebrating today!?"

    "Why, it's International Death of Stupidity Day, honey!" the mother Azumarill told her daughter with a loving smile. "Come, I'll buy you some ice cream! You've been a good girl today!"

    "Yay!" The young Azurill cheered.

    Both Eric and Gemma stared down the Ursaring. Nothing could rewind time and give them that precious loving moment once more. Nothing would bring their mint tea back from being soaked in the torn picnic blanket and in the dirt. Nothing could reconstruct those once-delicious maple syrup cookies they had paid $4 for at Shop and Stop. It was all stolen from them.

    "Still wanna mess with us!?" Eric challenged the Ursaring, his tiny yellow paws clenching into fists as his red cheeks were flaring with electricity. "After what happened to your two friends?"

    "Friends?" the Ursaring laughed, smashing his clawed fists together. "Hardly. Bring it! I'm feeling spry!"

    Together, Eric and Gemma held hands, and surged toward the ferocious brown bear as they were surrounded with blazing white energy. Hyper Mode. Buffed up. +15 to Strength and +50% Fire Resistance. They slammed into him right in the gut, as if the yellow ring on his chest was one big fat target for them to hit. He was suddenly flung back into a brick wall, and he suddenly burst into flames. For a moment, the two Pikachu were elated that he was defeated, but suddenly, they heard a very ominous sound and voice...

    "YOU THINK THAT'S ALL IT TAKES!?" the Ursaring boomed, suddenly growing in monstrous size. "THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"

    It was awful. As he grew to almost forty feet tall, more monstrous mutations and appendages came out of him. He grew spider legs. Two extra heads. A scorpion tail. Vampire fangs. Jagged spikes. Razor claws. A Wi-Fi connection. It was truly abysmal.

    "DIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

    The earth shook. The sky grew dark. The civilians ran in fear. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 canceled. He had to be stopped. There was no choice now.

    The Urasring monster surged forward with his massive claw, trying to target Eric and Gemma. However, they jumped out of the way in the nick of time, just before the claw destroyed two massive oak trees. However, just before they were out of harm's way, one of the heads barfed acid spit at them. They both dodged most of it, but even just droplets of the acid were enough to burn and sting them a little.

    "ENTERTAIN ME BEFORE YOU DIE!!" the heads screamed with laughter.

    Just then, Eric's communicator began to ring with the Overwatch ringtone theme. It was Mission Command. Neo couldn't have picked a more terrible time to call. He's writing the story, you'd think he'd know better!

    "Why now...!?" Eric moaned, trying to dodge another flamebreath attack. "I'm busy!"

    "I'll handle this!" Gemma told Eric with a confident smile as she busted out a piece of paper and a pencil out of... hammerspace.

    "HA HA HA!!" the Ursaring monster laughed. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, WRITE ME A LOVE NOTE!? WHA HA HA!!"

    Using her incredible art prowess, she quickly broke the space time continuum and rapidly drew an incredible picture of a massive Mega Altaria that had to be a hundred meters in size. Yes, meters. Not feet. The sheer awesomeness of this picture suddenly caused it to spring into life and jump from the page! The super-fluffy blue cotton dragon bird shrieked out and suddenly there was so much extra awesomeness!

    "Use your Taste of Apocalypse attack!" Gemma cried out.

    Folks, insurance doesn't cover this either, just so you know.

    A massive, blazing white beam of incredible, super-sized, <insert many adjectives here> beam of blazing and amazing light with no sugar added rushed from the Mega Altaria's beak and slammed into the truly ugly Ursaring (can it even still be called that?) monster and made him REALLY blow up. Lots of pieces. Many pieces. Reese's pieces.

    "How's that for a love note!?" Gemma laughed at the smoldering ashes of the Ursaring monster.

    As Gemma turned to Eric, Neo was put on speaker phone.

    "Guys, we've got a resurfacing problem," Neo told the Pikachu pair through the communicator. "We need to be discreet about this, however. We don't know who might be listening in. Last time, they found out we were heading out to get donuts and when we got to the store, all the good ones were taken. Totally couldn't have been a coincidence. No way at all. So I'll tell you this. Code SC7MZ. I think you know what that means."

    "Oh no..." Eric muttered, well aware of that meant. "Again!?"

    "Yes," Neo told Eric in a hard sigh. "You're our best operatives. We need you to get to the bottom of this. Find the source. Do whatever it takes. We're counting on you. Should you succeed in your mission, there will be... pizza."

    "Extra cheese?" Eric asked.

    "Extra cheese," Neo confirmed.

    "We're on it," Eric smiled as he hung up the phone and ended the call.

    "But first, ice cream," Gemma smiled.

    "Yes, ice cream," Eric grinned.

    "Yay!" The young Azurill cheered.



    The PE2K Broken Lands: Two days later

    Eric and Gemma, our star Pikachu, had decided to search the realms of PE2K for any possible leads as to where the Dark Lord MichaelXD's whereabouts might be. It was still a dark and dangerous place, and the only way they could enter it was through the Wayback Machine. As a result, the ruins of PE2K were even unstable. Meanwhile, Neo and Xanthe had decided to let Eric and Gemma borrow their old Senior Moderator Banhammers. They had upgraded Admin ones now, so it was all good.

    PE2K, as it seemed, was a post-apocalyptic nightmare. The skies were brown and foul, the cities here were gutted, and in many places, completely polluted by the Dark Lord's savage and aggressive campaign. It was clear, wherever MichaelXD and his spammechs had been, there was anguish, despair, and sad loneliness. And heaps and heaps of garbage. On the walls of the buildings, there were pictures of sad puppies, kittens, and bunnies. It seemed MichaelXD really liked sad puppies, kittens, and bunnies. Truly the work of a madman.

    Everywhere they looked, there was garbage. There were endless fliers and incoherent ads for everything sane people didn't need and broken teleportation links to deceptive places that would bury dark and evil implants into their victims without them even knowing. The city had been buried and ruined by it. Like that opening scene in Wall-E. Once the spammechs had overrun the city's defenses and had their way with the city, hope was lost. Some had tried to fight to the end, like the hero Max, codenamed Judge Dredd at the time, one of the last to join the evacuation when it seemed there was no more hope. As Eric had remembered, it was here that the exodus had happened. 2012. For some, they believed it would be the end of the world. The world had survived, but for PE2K, the end of days couldn't have been more real.

    "What a terrible fate," Gemma sighed as the two electric yellow mice carefully made their way through the ruins. "We can't let this happen to PXR. Never!"

    "There should still be spammechs around here," Eric told Gemma, keeping a lookout around the ruined buildings half-buried in garbage. "Remember what Xanthe and Neo told us. We need to find one, Banhammer it, and hack into its hard drives. Maybe we'll find some kind of link as to where it's getting its commands from. And hopefully MichaelXD left his credit card information in it!"

    "It's the only shot we have," Gemma nodded, patting Xanthe's old Senior Moderator Banhammer. "This time, don't aim for the head. We need those drives intact."

    They stealthily moved throughout the dark and polluted city, quietly creeping around walls and using whatever they could to conceal their position. All the while, the two lover Pikachu had to watch their steps. The spam here was still dangerous.

    Suddenly, a cataclysmic crash had raged out and a sudden vortex had opened up, swallowing a large portion of the city into a swirling black hole of nothingness, sucking in a large amount of spam garbage as well. It seemed the very little that was left of the city was being swallowed away. They didn't have much time before there was truly nothing.

    As time went on, it seemed even the spammechs had abandoned this place, searching for ripe, new worlds to invest. But, as they continued searching, they finally came upon one of the many spammechs that had once ravaged PE2K. It was filthy, dirty, and looked like a junky robotic dinosaur made from old LEGO bricks. One had to be careful not to step on them.

    To their surprise, it was already down and deactivated. Banned by a previous PE2K mod during the final days. It was uncertain which one, but the two Pikachu felt it was likely one of Max's last kills before he joined the evacuation. As the two yellow mice investigated it, the head seemed to be intact. This one had been struck in the back, but thankfully the head was still in one piece. At least here the memory core was still intact and it was the destruction of the power supply that put the spammech out of commission.

    "Think you can get into it?" Eric asked Gemma, looking worried they didn't have much time before the rest of PE2K was swallowed into the void.

    "I'll try," Gemma smiled hopefully. "We know what to look for, at least. Once we have the hard drive, we'll be able to take it back to HQ. They should be able to read it and bypass the security measures."

    Gemma had dissembled the spammech's head frame and inside was the hard drive. She reached in and after she gripped it with her paw, she tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Trying to wrestle it out didn't seem to be working either. To her, it was a bit frustrating in ways that felt similar to those times you press "Main Menu" to skip the coming attractions DVD previews of movies that have been out for ages and it just doesn't flipping work.

    And then, just at that moment, another void rift had opened up only a short distance away from them. The both of them looked to see a giant rift had started to consume the city sector where the URPG was once held. The skyscraper that was once the archive for all the trainer stats had collapsed and now it was beginning to hit what was once the URPG marketplace. Both of them knew they needed to hurry.

    Eric offered to help, but even the both of them tugging on the hard drive couldn't release it from the spammech's head. Eric took one last look around to see if by some miracle of a chance, there was another spammech that could be used as an alternative, but there was no sign of one anywhere and there was too much spam garbage to have to go digging around through. And the swirling, black hole made it clear they were not safe here and didn't have enough time to even consider that.

    "Maybe we should take the whole head with us?" Gemma suggested, thinking there might be a way to disassemble it and remove the hard drive once they were back at base."

    "It probably weighs at least two-hundred pounds," Eric replied in dismay. "I don't think two little chus like us could carry it all the way back to the Wayback Machine portal. Think we could try to disassemble it from both sides?"

    And then, all of a sudden, the black hole struck the remnants of the URPG marketplace. Suddenly all the items that were meant for URPG players were thrown out wildly, showering the area with abandoned TMs, leftover items, and empty Pokéballs that would never be filled with marketplace Pokémon. It was as if a giant tornado had torn through it and flung everything around for miles.

    All kinds of evolutionary items had scattered around Gemma and Eric, nearly burying them completely in the process like a freakish blizzard. Once the bombardment stopped, Eric resurfaced, trying to push away a pile of Shiny Stones, Moon Stones, and Fire Stones. As he tried to dig around to find the spammech's head, he suddenly felt very strange and he quickly realized what had happened. Somewhere in that massive pile, he had unintentionally touched a Thunder Stone, and now he was glowing.

    No, no, I don't want to evolve! Stoooppp! Pressing B! PRESSING B!!!

    But there was nothing that could be done and simply no B to press. Eric, in a bright and flashy glow of radiant light and energy, had gone from plushy yellow Pikachu to bigger plushy orange Raichu. When the transformation stopped and his body was reformed, he looked aghast at his brown paws, brown toes, orange-colored body, and felt ever so strange swinging his new rope-like thunderbolt-tipped tail around. He was shocked, but he knew he couldn't dwell on it for long.

    "Gemma, where are you!?" Eric cried out to her, unable to see where in the pile she was buried. "Be careful, there's Thunder Stones everywhere! I... I think I stepped on one."

    Suddenly, he saw something trying to emerge from the pile of evolution items. He quickly jumped into action, digging quickly through the stones and other evolution items to see if it was Gemma and if he could help her get out of the pile.

    It was Gemma, alright. But what he saw wasn't the face of a Pikachu, but instead that of an Alolan Raichu. Eric's jaw simply dropped in shock and alarm. Her fur was light orange, her ears were all smooth and swirly like, and her eyes were an aquamarine blue. She was totally shocked and bewildered, but still unhurt.

    "Eric...?" she asked weakly.

    "Oh Gemma, look at us!" Eric moaned, quivering at what happened. "We're Raichu now! How can we possibly call ourselves PXR's Pika Pair like this!?"

    "No matter what form you may take, you are still my chu," Gemma smiled to him, filling him with comfort. "Big or small, yellow or orange."

    It brought a heartfelt tear to Eric's eye as he smiled. Truly, this was love unlike any other.

    But then, a sudden crash and a look toward the all-consuming void was all too much of a reminder that they couldn't linger around for too much longer. It was then that Gemma got an idea. As she tried to dig around for the spammech's head, Eric jumped in to help her, and soon enough, they found it once again. Gemma closed her eyes, reached in, and concentrated. Even with her new Alolan Raichu strength, the hard drive could not be freed from the confines of the spammech's head, but that's not what she tried to do. Instead, she used her new psychic powers, focused on the hard drive disc itself, and she learned. Learned at a faster pace than she had ever before.

    "Gemma?" Eric asked, wondering what was going on.

    In just a few seconds, she learned everything she needed to know, and once she did, she opened her eyes and grinned.

    "I know where the Shadow Network is..." Gemma whispered with a smile. "Come on, let's go! I'll explain later!"

    Eric nodded, and then the two of them took off, racing away from the void vortex as suddenly the land behind them was swallowed and reduced to nothingness. The old home of the URPG was torn asunder and whisked away into the forgetful darkness. Thankfully, it had moved far away from this place long before this had happened, but that still didn't reduce the melancholy feeling that was left as it was all taken away.

    Before it was too late, Eric and Gemma had arrived back at the Wayback Machine escape pod. They placed their paws on the teleporter, and were whisked away in a flash of light, far, far away from the polluted ruins of PE2K.



    Last Poster Wins Casino Central, PXR

    Gemma and Eric had arrived back at the Last Poster Wins Casino, a strange but interesting place where casino patrons kept betting on who would be the last person to say something for the next 48 hours, but it was so populated with participants that the likelihood of this ever happening was next to nothing. But among all the fancy neon lights, festive fanfare, comedy routines, and reaction GIFs, patrons here were still enjoying a good conversation anyway even if the actual game seemed endless.

    Still, despite the somewhat successful mission, Gemma was still flustered at what happened to herself and Eric. They just weren't their Pikachu selves anymore! Why did Neo and Xanthe have to send them on this mission anyway!?

    "ASDCHAGDKAYUSFIUADFAJ NEO WTF DID YOU DO!!!!!!" Gemma cried out, causing a flyby Pidgey to become distracted and bonk his head on the flashing neon sign for Song Titles ABC Casino.

    "It'll be okay," Eric comforted Gemma, rubbing her on the back. "We'll find a way. There's got to be something we can do to change us back!"

    "I midair surf on my tail now!" Gemma exclaimed, feeling strange about it as she tried to balance herself on her now hoverboard-like tail. "How weird is that!? Whose idea was this? This is just insanity. I don't even know how this works. I give up. Nice knowing you, gravity."

    "It's not so bad," Eric comforted her. "But anyway, you said you found something about the Shadow Network back there?"

    "Yes," Gemma nodded with a smile. "His IP links to Sacramento, California. All we need to do is get to his central base, destroy his internet, and they'll be sent back to the stone age, along with all of his spammechs. There's just one little issue..."

    Eric couldn't imagine what. When it came to the Dark Lord MichaelXD, any terrible thing was possible. Casserole leftovers. Check Engine lights. Empty toilet paper rolls. Dental fillings. Calculus exams. Calculus exams while having dental fillings done. Calculus exams done in a car with a check engine light on when you needed to go to the bathroom and there was no more toilet paper left while having dental fillings done and having to eat casserole leftovers between drilling and filling sessions. They needed to be ready for all this.

    "And what's that?" Eric asked, wondering if he even really wanted to know after all.

    "He has... an infinite clone army," Gemma informed him. "Endless clones of himself and renditions of imaginary friends and family he made up. We can fight our way through MichaelXD's many clones, but don't even try to stop and destroy all of them. We only need to get to the source of them all, and truthfully, it's better if we go in all stealthy-like and avoid having to fight them begin with."

    "Mmm hmm," Eric nodded, thinking that was a good plan. "Sooo... Super NinjaChu Action Gear?"

    "Thought you'd never ask!" Gemma grinned.

    And so it began...



    The Shadow Network, MichaelXD's Wi-Fi

    Using their Super NinjaChu Action Gear, Gemma and Eric crept quietly through the dark, creepy, and labyrinth chambers of MichaelXD's Shadow Network catacombs. It was a creepy, metallic, and traditional supervillain lair kind of place. He was out of milk, hadn't cleaned the floors in three years, and it smelled of old pizza and expired nacho cheese. The worst, however, was the fact that every roll of toilet paper was facing the wall. It was a form of cruelty and malice unseen anywhere else in the universe.

    As the two Raichu had suspected, the Dark Lord MichaelXD had many clones of himself lying about like some deranged, infinite lives cheat code. No matter how many times MichaelXD was Banhammered, he could take on another clone and simply try again. Endlessly. Forever.

    But today, that was going to change. Once MichaelXD's internet connection was blown up, he would no longer be able to bother the PXR Sanctuary ever again. And as punishment, he wouldn't be able to watch YouTube or steam movies either. That also meant no more Steam sales. Surely that was a punishment that served the will of justice.

    "PXR, Skype, Discord, Facebook..." Eric whispered quietly as they passed through the dark, hollow, and creepy dark tunnels of the Shadow Network. "Everything. Soon, he won't be able to touch any of it."

    "I think I know the way," Gemma told him, using her psychic powers. "Come. Just around this corner."

    The two Raichu continued making their way through the dark, unholy halls, but then they came upon a very dark and very menacing place. Before them, the lair ended and opened up to the outside. It was a place of anguish, chaos, and destruction. And there were vast fields of fiery, demonic hellholes and furious black lightening strikes among a jagged, treacherous, and loathsome wasteland landscape. Eric was suddenly very anxious at the sight of this terrible place while Gemma's heart sank. As she had feared, there was no way around getting through this dark, terrible realm. They had to make their way through...

    "Wha... what is this!?" Eric exclaimed, looking at the terrible and hellish landscape before them.

    "Eric..." Gemma muttered, looking and sounding very uncomfortable, "...that's MichaelXD's internet browsing history."

    "NO!" Eric shouted in panic. "There's got to be another way around it! Come on, Gemma, we can't go through that! No living soul could go through a place so cruel and deranged!"

    "There's no other way around..." Gemma told him, trying to gather whatever courage she had. "Eric, we'll go through together. We're strong. We can do this."

    Eric's heart was racing, but he took a deep breath and tried to focus. She was right. They were strong and they had to do this. Not just for themselves, but for all the people that were depending on them.

    "I believe in you," Gemma told Eric with a smile, rubbing his back with her white paw gently. "I believe in us. We were born ready. Ready for anything. Come on, we can do this!"

    Eric nodded with a strong smile, and with a deep breath, both of them plunged into the dark recesses of MichaelXD's browsing history. As they struggled across the dark and miserable landscape, they could hear voices. Terrible, hissing and laughing shadows of voices. All the horrible things that MichaelXD sought out and desired were now together like one massive banquet hall of horror and malice. The two Raichu trembled, but courageously carried on despite the surrounding of torment.

    The two Raichu had to be careful every time they stepped, for one wrong move would send them tumbling into a foul abyss of all the dark lusts and vices that MichaelXD craved. They were foul, loud, and sounded like wailing and gnashing of teeth. Their screams of terror could strike fear into even the strongest warriors. They left the bathroom door open whenever they were using it and kept recycling the coffee grinds. They left Twinkie wrappers all over the floor and ate up all the good ice cream in the freezer. Truly there was little hope for anything good here.

    As soon as Eric and Gemma had arrived at the heart of it all, that was where things truly took a turn for the worst. There they saw the Dark Lord standing among the dark and evil piles of his filth, but he was not some evil cyborg dictator. Instead, he was a simple kid that wore just jeans and a sweatshirt. At first, his back was facing them, but then he turned around and looked at Eric all timid and shy.

    "Hello... Eric?" MichaelXD asked him, trying to muster a shy smile. "I... I was wondering if you contacted the admins yet. You see, they have it all wrong. Cycling Road is my brother, and his friend is Max. They banned me for accidental ban evasion. No one did anything after I reported it!"

    "Nothing you say makes sense!" Eric shouted back to him. "You got banned because you annoy the crap out of people!"

    "Can I talk to someone?" MichaelXD asked. "I just want to sign up for the forums. You know, for the first time."

    It was simply a trap and Eric and Gemma knew it. Suddenly, out of the hellholes came MichaelXD's army of clones. They came out by the dozens, asking incessant questions and being as annoying as they could possibly be.

    "I just want to talk to someone," a clone named Ninjaman had asked.

    "Why don't the admins talk to me?" the deceptive clone named Harry emerged.

    Eric and Gemma were suddenly surrounded, and soon enough, everywhere they looked, there were MichaelXD clones. They all tried to wear different disguises, but were still the name person.

    "How do I reach the admins?"

    "Is Sarah on?"

    "Can I be unbanned now?"

    The pleas and questions were unending. There was no choice. They had to fight. They had to destroy this place. This terrible, terrible unholy place. Eric and Gemma were strong. They had gotten through many horrors before. If they could make it through Photoshop Flowey, they could totally get through this.

    "I'm warning you..." Eric told the clones.

    "We're not someone you want to mess with."

    "HoW dO I ReACh tHE AdMINssSss!?"

    "CaN YoU UNbANnn MeeeEEe!?"

    The sea of howls, the swarms of moans, and the floods of pleas only got more and more deranged. They were clearly not human. It had to be ended. This simply couldn't go on any longer.

    Gemma's hands lit up with holy fire while Eric's cheeks flared with powerful thunderous electricity.

    The Ninjaman clone lunged toward Eric, trying to devour his brain, but was instead treated to a crushing ultimate Thunderslam attack, which ripped its way through multiple swarms of clones. The demonic Ninjaman clone was torn to ribbons and vaporized before their eyes, including all the other clones caught in the attack!

    Just as the Cycling Road clone tried to attack Gemma from behind, she spun around and leapt into the air, blasting them with a storm of holy fireballs that consumed Cycling Road and his many deranged cohorts. Their evil was purged away, destroyed and never to return again.

    Eric used his thunderbolt tail like a knife and sliced off the head of the deceptive clone named Harry. The body of the clone melted into nothingness. At the same time, Gemma had jumped into the air and sent a furious thunderbolt down upon the Max clone, causing the deranged abomination to detonate and explode, destroying several other clones around it.

    Meanwhile, the sky raged and the black thunder roared louder. The howls and screams raged harder, and the feeling of dread grew deeper.

    But as Eric and Gemma fought courageously and destroyed dozens of clones, hundreds more took their place. It seemed the horde of clones could not be stopped no matter what power they had unleashed upon this deranged and terrible army. And it was clear to see that all the other operatives, warriors, and heroes that had come this way had all been stopped by these ceaseless clones and been reduced to madness and everlasting spam, all meant to destroy minds and forever destroy tempers.

    "Get off!" Eric shouted, trying to shake off the zombie-like horde of clones. "You'll never be unbanned!"

    "We have to fall back!" Gemma cried out to Eric. "There's too many of them!"

    But try as they might, they couldn't even retreat. It was clear what they were about to do. Once Gemma realized it and the horrible truth behind the Dark Lord's plan, she was horrified.

    They would try to wipe their memories of this dark and terrible place. They would try to implant some terrible mind-control chip and use their bodies to convince the others MichaelXD was okay and could be welcomed back. No... no, they couldn't be okay with this. There was a dark evil behind MichaelXD that used others to downplay his terrible actions!

    "Let go of me!" Gemma cried out, trying to get the filthy and disgusting hands of the clones off of her. "You slimy, disgusting clones!"

    For a moment, it seemed like all hope was lost. MichaelXD was going to turn them into puppets and get access back into the PXR Sanctuary. And if that happened... there would be no end to spam. No end to pain. No end to the utter madness. MichaelXD would take an elephant dump worth of spam and would break the toilet handle!

    In one last ditch effort, Eric tried to grab onto the dirt to avoid letting the clones drag him into the deep recesses of madness. He refused to give in.

    "WhaT'Sss THiSSSss!?" MichaelXD had hissed.

    "You don't fight alone, Eric and Gemma."

    A calm, soothing and angelic voice had silenced the chaos and the anarchy. It was the voice of Sarah. Eric and Gemma were surprised, never thinking the Bulbasaur would have followed them all the way here.

    "Ha, HA!" MichaelXD laughed with a terrible, maniacal shriek as his deceptive human disguise began to melt away. "I KnEW yOU wOUlD CoMEee! JusT WhaT I alWAyS WANted! ThE MInd oF a SEniOR AdMIN! HA HA HA HA! NOW PXR Is MInE! YoU FooLISH-"

    But she was not alone either. A second Bulbasaur had emerged from besides her. The true legendary hero, Harry, like no other. It was no lie. It was no illusion. Standing behind the two were the other admins, Neo the Emolga, Dash the Keldeo, and Xanthe the Flareon. Suddenly MichaelXD realized he had suddenly gotten much more than he had wanted...

    And the others had soon arrived. Caite the Jolteon. Max the Gible. Saraibre the Charizard. Speed-X the Snivy. And Sam the Riolu. And all the other moderators and members of PXR, now as a massive, overwhelming army. They emerged from over the hill like a flood of light pouring over a valley of darkness and shadow.

    "Quite the place you got here, Michael!" Noblejanobii the Shaymin shouted out to him. "Reminds me of something I grabbed with a paper towel before I flushed it down the toilet!"

    "We tried being reasonable," Corey the Primarina sighed. "Just didn't take. And now look at you."

    "YoU'RE aLL mINE!!" MichaelXD let loose an unholy scream. "PrEPArE fOR thE EnD Of EVeRYTHiNG YoU LoVE! YoU'RE iN My HoUSe NoW."

    MichaelXD had commanded his horde of clones to engage the powerful PXR commandos. His dark Lieutenant, Spammyface, was eviscerated by Sarah's powerful Gaia Leaf attack while his Captain, BanEVaDeR was burned to a terrible crisp by Xanthe's Razorfire Blast, leaving only ashes in its wake. And the thousands upon thousands of other clones were torn, crushed, pulverized, and Banhammered to death like it was going out of style. It seemed like the only thing they were able to do was buy him some time.

    But as the Dark Lord snickered, he felt that was all he needed.

    The ground trembled. The dark realms of the Dark Lord's browsing history shook, the skies raged with dark thunder and lightning, and the hellholes farted out smells worse than old horse vomit. MichaelXD's body began to mutate into a massive and grotesque abomination. He was surrounded by unholy screams as his body grew taller and larger, reaching almost a thousand feet high (or about 30 meters for the Aussies out there). Tentacles. Black and bubbly skin. Spikes. A really long and disgusting snake tongue. Twelve eyes. A pig nose. A shark mouth. And deceptive vomit that pretended to be surveys to win $100 gift cards to Applebee's. An unholy sight unlike any other.

    "BEHOLD MY ULTIMATE FORM," the dark monster MichaelXD roared. "NOW WITH SOMETHING EVERYONE HATES. COMIC SANS IN ALL CAPS."

    "Damn it!" Noblejanobii shouted. "What is wrong with this psycho!?"

    MichaelXD had sent his entire army of clones at the PXR staff. It would take them hours to destroy every last one of them, but for Eric and Gemma, they were the closest to the dark monster and could reach him where the others couldn't because of the swarm. They had this chance to stop him for good while the rest of his army was busy. They knew they wouldn't get another shot at this. It was all down to them now.

    Eric had unleashed his most furious Thundercrash attack he could, aiming for the monster's eyes. Meanwhile, Gemma tried to strike at the hideous beast's black heart using a powerful Psychic Storm assault. The dark skies lit up with their furious and courageous attacks, throwing back the dark lightning and terrible horse vomit smells...

    ...But even in both cases, the damage was almost nothing and barely made a scratch. It would take a century to stop him at this rate!

    "USELESS," MichaelXD laughed. "IT MUST BE HARD BEING SO WEAK.:

    But Eric refused to give in to him. Just as MichaelXD laughed, he tried to aim his next, furious thunderbolt right for the monster's mouth. But even then, MichaelXD simply ate it and nothing happened. The dark monster simply flashed a demonic grin, relishing the poor Raichu's dismay.

    "ALL YOUR ATTACKS FIZZLE!" MichaelXD laughed and taunted. "ALL YOUR BANHAMMERS CRUMBLE AGAINST MY INFINITE POWER. ALL YOUR EMPTY THREATS SIMPLY BOUNCE OFF MY IMMORTALITY. ALL YOUR ATTEMPTS TO IGNORE ME WILL FAIL! I WILL BE PXR'S GOD NOW."

    AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT."


    Eric knew there had to be another way. There had to be something. The MichaelXD monster vomited more spam at Eric and Gemma, attempting to slather them with mind-destroying slime. They only just barely managed to dodge away. Eric was then struck by one of the hideous black tentacles, feeling a pain and kind of burn that just felt terribly creepy in every way imaginable.

    "MY CLOUD OF SPAM WILL BLOT OUT THE SUN," MichaelXD laughed and taunted. "MY CLONES WILL DEVOUR YOUR WORLD. AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO END IT."

    It seemed hopeless and it looked like they were doomed. But even despite these dark moments, Eric saw the rest of the staff doing battle with the Dark Lord's clone army. They were doing their best, and it reminded Eric that he needed to do his best also. And Gemma, his pair, his love, was here besides him. Truly, he wasn't alone.

    It was then that Eric had grabbed Gemma's paw. Even if it looked like the end, they had to believe there was another way. They shared a bond like any other. And then there was something profound that the dark and evil abomination of MichaelXD would never be prepared for.

    The power of love.

    Suddenly, a white and pink-tinted flash had surrounded Eric and Gemma. A new power had awoken within them. A brilliant light had sundered the dark realm of MichaelXD's browsing history, purging and erasing the evil around it.

    As if by some kind of miracle, their true forms had been restored. The two of them were Pikachu once more, now surrounded by a brilliant light.

    "YOU THINK THAT CAN STOP ME!?" MichaelXD laughed with a hideous and unholy shriek. "HAVE A TASTE OF THIS!"

    His flurry of disgusting tentacles attempted to attack the pair, but unlike before, they were ripped apart and shredded to pieces by the very aura of love, leaving nothing but smoldering husks in their wake. In shock, MichaelXD tried using his foul and disgusting tongue instead, but even the dark and fetid poison-slathered muscle was obliterated by this such powerful elemental force.

    "IMPOSSIBLE!!" MichaelXD shrieked in anger with black ooze leaking from his severed tongue. "YOU'RE GOING TO WISH FOR DEATH NOW!"

    He had reached deep within the spammy reservoirs of his hideous stomach to conjure up the worst and most wretched of spam filth he could possibly vomit. Phony surveys. Endless emails. Incoherent blogs. He unleashed everything from the worst to the worst he could throw up.

    After a deluge of the worst spam ever imaginable was unleashed upon the two Pikachu, it was vaporized against the aura barrier of love. MichaelXD had nothing left. Nothing left but his ugliness, and even that had limited uses against anyone that's been on the internet.

    "You invaded our home," Eric scolded MichaelXD. "You harassed our family and friends. You broke our laws, you bothered our leaders, and you denied you did anything wrong. For that, you have to be unplugged."

    Eric and Gemma held hands, and suddenly, the light from their aura of love surged forward at the MichaelXD monster, obliterating the hideous, final form of MichaelXD.

    "NOOOOOOO!!" MichaelXD howled with a horrible wail.

    The dark monster was destroyed with a powerful explosion of light, and all of the horrible and disgusting body parts crumbled away. All of the darkness and filthy stuff was vaporized, having no hold over the power of love.

    Suddenly, the whole area began to shake. MichaelXD's clones were suddenly vaporized, but the whole area was collapsing! Quickly, the PXR army headed out as the apocalypse fell upon MichaelXD's internet connection. Everything was about to be erased, and they had to run before they were caught in the cataclysm.

    Eric and Gemma quickly turned around to escape, running as fast and as hard as their feet could carry them. Their hearts were racing, their adrenaline was on fire, but even from the distance, they could still hear a whimper.

    "Can I be unbanned now?" the now human form of MichaelXD asked as his world crumbled around him.

    "No," Sarah shouted back to him. "Go read a book instead."

    The staff and members of PXR escaped in time as MichaelXD's connection was sucked into the darkness. Just as they had all cross over into safety, they saw MichaelXD's dark and hideous lair, as well as the dark and plagued lands of his browsing history, be forever sucked into the void.

    The day had been won. The toilet had been flushed. The garbage had been taken out. The battle was over, and now an era of peace and happiness could begin once again. Flowers would bloom bigger than ever before. The sun would shine brighter, the birds would sing louder, and candy would be cheaper. The stock market would be up, coffee would be half price, and Nintendo promised to stop hitting fans with cease and desist orders.

    Truly, today had been magical.



    PXR Staff HQ

    There was a grand celebration at PXR HQ. Colorful steamers were strung, balloons were filled and aloft, and the Christmas lights that hadn't been taken down yet were turned on again. The staff of PXR was happily celebrating a truly glorious and magical day indeed.

    "There you go," Neo the Emolga said with a smile as he opened up a pizza box containing a fresh, piping hot pizza. "Extra cheese as promised."

    "Awesome!" Eric cheered as he quickly grabbed a slice. "Say, think MichaelXD will ever be back?"

    "Possibly," Xanthe replied, smirking and shrugged a bit. "But you see, that's the fun part of being a mod. When the bots and spammers come back, you get the slam the hammer down on them again. It brings such a tear of joy to my eye."

    "Hmm, I bet," Gemma laughed as she thought of herself wielding a mighty Banhammer of her own. "Must be kind of fun, really."

    Neo and Xanthe nodded, recalling many times where they had to do such a thing. Even beyond MichaelXD, there would always be spammers, and always be ad bots, just begging for that extra bit of attention. It gave Neo many fond memories of asking the bots if they had his attention now after he slammed them to pieces.

    "Say, you know, this really wasn't such a bad prank," Eric smiled as he enjoyed another slice. "I thought you said you were going to prank us like a thief in the night."

    "I know!" Gemma asked, looking curious at Neo. "This wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. We got to become heroes and we saved the day! How bad is that?"

    "Think we should tell them what's in that pizza?" Neo asked Xanthe the Flareon.

    "Nah," Xanthe giggled. "I still find it funny they never asked why we only ordered one."

    THE END.
    Last edited by Neo Emolga; 01-08-2017 at 07:13 PM. Reason: Typos. Annoying, evil typos. X3

  4. This post has been liked by:


  5. #3
    The Queen of Shaymin
    Noblejanobii's Avatar
    Site Editor

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    US
    Posts
    17,593
    Haha man this was great! Makes me want to post my secret Santa story for Sarah on here!

    Also I got two lines YUSH
    Last edited by Noblejanobii; 01-08-2017 at 05:14 AM.
    / / / / / / / /
    Avatar by Soggymint
    Double Agents with Suicune's Fire

  6. This post has been liked by:


  7. #4
    HIS TUFFNESS AD's Avatar
    Senior Moderator

    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Mt Silver
    Posts
    3,339
    OMG IM CRYING, THE XD PART OMG IM CRYING LMAO

    This was beautiful, just beautiful. 10/10 would recommend


    ˇťYour focus determines your realityŤˇ

  8. This post has been liked by:


  9. #5
    @Noblejanobii POST IT!!! Also gosh, I need to get to this soon--and I will! xD I'll post when I have. Can't wait to see what the stars of the story think. ;3

  10. This post has been liked by:


  11. #6
    The Queen of Shaymin
    Noblejanobii's Avatar
    Site Editor

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    US
    Posts
    17,593
    Sarah's Steam Sellout
    Starring Pokémon Trainer Sarah


    The building shook as an earthquake tore through it. A young bulbasaur clung to the ground as the quake settled before continuing her journey up the stairs. It had been a long war, but now they were reaching a breaking point. And it was all Archaic’s fault.

    The bulbasaur quickly ascended the stairs and turned into the first room. Several heads turned as she entered. The first was a bulbasaur with a blue bowtie, her co-commander, Harry. He was observing the progress of the destruction that Archaic had caused. Next to him was the resident programmer, updating the defenses of all the buildings as best he could, Dash the Keldeo. On the bulbasaur’s right were an Emolga and uniquely colored Flareon. The Emolga, Neo, was coordinating an aerial assault on the oncoming armies, as such strategies had been very successful deterrents so far. Finally, the gold flareon known as Super Secret Double Agent Xanthe was busy relaying information for means of strike attacks to her partner, a Shaylava named Super Secret Double Agent Sloane. However, everyone paused in their work as the bulbasaur with a pink bow entered the room.

    “Sarah,” Harry said tentatively, “why are you back so soon? I thought you were off to make negotiations with Archaic.” Sarah shook her head and walked to a nearby chair. She climbed into it then gave the group a serious look.

    “I was, however, Archaic cannot be reasoned with. At first, I thought just turning the entirety of Bulbagarden’s users into bulbasaurs would have been enough for him. However, the power has gone to his head. He has set his sights onto the whole world now.” There was a collective gasp in the room. This was unsettling news. The Crossroads had been fighting an uphill battle for a long time, as had many other civilizations around the web. To have no end in sight was a horrifying reality. Pokemon Crossroads might have had a chance at victory when Ray was running the show, but ever since his capture at the hands of Evil Figment the Houndoom from Bulbagarden, Sarah had been forced to take over the war. All of the main force feared the worst for Ray, assuming he was either dead or a brainwashed bulbasaur soldier. At this point there was little they could do, since there was no known cure to the weapons Archaic was using.

    “There might be a way to fix that,” Harry offered. Sarah turned to look at her fellow bulbasaur. Now he had her attention. “Max mentioned earlier that they had made a breakthrough and wanted to see you when you returned.” Sarah needed no further coaxing. A breakthrough could be just what the Crossroads needed to survive this war. With Pokefarm and Marriland already overrun, it was only a matter of time before they tore through Serebii, Petalburg Woods, and then reached Pokemon Crossroads. Sloane had mentioned that she controlled several smaller scale forums, but that raised many questions of their own. Would they be able to handle all the users from Crossroads? Would they be eventually overrun as well? Could they even evacuate there in time? There were just too many variables with that, so they had to be a last resort.

    “Continue your work,” Sarah ordered, “I will go down to see what Max has discovered. In the meantime, keep our defenses as sharp as we can and keep me updated on any urgent developments.” A chorus of “yes ma’am!”’s answered Sarah before all four pokemon returned to work. Sarah turned back to the stairs and began to descend to the floor just below the one she was currently on. She pushed open the door and exited the stairwell to reveal a floor full of scientists and experiments. While normally this place would not be so busy, ever since the beginning of the war, it had been bustling with users from all sorts of backgrounds.

    Sarah continued her stretch to a room at the end of the main hall on this floor. She raised her foot and knocked. A soft “come in” answered her. Sarah pushed open the door and looked around in search of the scientist. It took a moment for her to locate the Gible, but she spotted him hidden in the depths of his work.

    “Max, you wanted to see me?” The Gible looked up from his work and smiled at Sarah. He leapt down from his stool and rushed over to Sarah.

    “Yes I did, my fellow Hooligan! Follow me, I think I made a breakthrough.” Max began to lead Sarah to a deeper part of his lab as he continued to speak. “As you recall, this whole epidemic started because the Bulbagarden community got ahold of our Pikachu Survivor Game technically and modified the weapons to turn everyone in bulbasaurs. However, we have no idea what we did so none of the cures we have work against it. But, recently, I discovered something while experimenting with the cure.”

    Max took Sarah deep into his lab where many of the bulbasaurs that had been captured were being kept. Among them was Eric. Eric was already a bulbasaur before the war started, however, he and his partner, Mike, had been sent out on a scouting mission, and Eric sacrificed himself for his pair. He was now a brainwashed bulbasaur, and one of the main bulbasaurs Max worked on to create a cure.

    “While working with Eric earlier today, it seems a variation of the cure worked on him.” Sarah looked at the younger bulbasaur. He was currently asleep in his cage. But if the cure had worked, then why was he still in cage? Max seemed to sense Sarah’s doubting and quickly added, “It only worked for a little bit and only on him. I think it may have something to with the fact that he was already a bulbasaur.” Sarah sighed. It was upsetting that this had not worked, but at the same time, there was still a sliver of hope that they were on the right path.

    “Thank you for showing me this, Max. It is good to see we are progressing. Is there anything else you wanted to show me?” Max shook his head.

    “I’m assuming negotiations did not go well?” he asked with his head slightly cocked to the side. Sarah shook her head.

    “Archaic is too far gone. The only thing that can save us now is that cure. We’re depending on you, Max.” Max flushed a little before saluting.

    “You can count on me!” he declared before diving back into his work. Sarah turned and led herself out. She was starting to enjoy the silence when a Snivy ran up to her.

    “Sarah! It’s urgent!” Sarah stumbled back a bit, startled by the messenger. She recognized the snivy to be the ultra fast Speed-X. “We need to head back upstairs now! Xanthe’s gone crazy.” Sarah needed no further explanation. She followed Speed back upstairs to the headquarters, where they were greeted with a very peculiar sight. In the center of the room, a shrine had been built, filled to the brim with lit candles and pictures of Sloane. Xanthe was currently dancing around it, causing Harry, Neo, and Dash to all stare at her a bit oddly.

    "OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO SCOUR THE ENTIRE WORLD. I DON'T CARE IF I ALL OF YOU DIE IN THE PROCESS LOL SOZ. LOCATE HER!!!!!!!!!" she screamed as she danced. Sarah looked at Speed, who only shrugged.

    “She claims she’s performing a “Sloane Return Dance”,” Speed explained. Oh great, that was just what they needed. Sloane had been captured. Well there was only one thing they could do.

    “Xanthe, I’m going to re-pair you Sam. Sloane’s been officially demodded for like the one gazillionth time.” Xanthe turned to Sarah and put on her “deal with it glasses”.

    “I WILL NOT ABANDON MY SUPER SECRET DOUBLE AGENT BUDDY!!!!!” Xanthe then proceeded to jump out the window and noclip’d through the sky towards where Sloane was last sighted. Everyone in the room just stared at the gaping hole in the room, confused as to what just happened. Finally Neo spoke up.

    “I think we should go after them. They are some of our best operatives.” Sarah frowned a bit. She did not really want to. After all, they were known as Double Agents for a reason. Sarah had been expecting a coup for almost two years now. It was only a matter of time. But, since Neo insisted, she would allow it.

    “All right,” Sarah replied, “send in the Electric Rodent Regime.” Neo saluted then turned back to his computer to relay the orders to Commander Raichu. Moments later, millions of electric rodents could been seen through the giant hole in the wall marching towards the battlefield led by Commander Raichu and his loyal Lieutenant Commanders, Gemma and Chakra. It was such a proud sight that it brought tears to Dash’s eyes. Surely with such a force so large, there was no way they could lose. At least until a giant missile could be seen flying through the air.

    “It’s a bulba flu tactical nuke!” Speed exclaimed, “Everybody get down!”

    “I’m too young to become a bulbasaur!” Harry yelled before diving under his desk for safety. Sarah ran over to her desk and pushed a button, activating the anti-tactical nuke shields that created a giant Mimikyu costume around the entire building.

    “You’re already a bulbasaur!” Sarah yelled back before everything went deafeningly silent when the nuke hit. The five occupants in the room sat quietly until the shield dissolved. Neo was the first to take a look outside, and the sight was terrifying. Every single one of the Electric Rodents was now a brainwashed bulbasaur. Before anyone else could react, Max burst into the room.

    “SARAH! I FOUND THE CURE!” Max grabbed everyone in the room and somehow dragged all of them down to his lab where all the subjects were no longer in cages or brainwashed.

    “How did you do this?” Speed asked, a little on guard around so many bulbasaurs.

    “I dropped this vial of cure into the nuclear blast and by adding a little Corey magic-” Corey poked his head in through a nearby air vent and waved before disappearing, “I was able to cure all these bulbasaurs. If we can just get a tactical nuke and spread the cure everywhere then we can save the day.”

    “But how are we going to get a tactical nuke? Those things are impossible to recreate since somebody used them all,” Dash pointed out while glaring at Neo who shrugged as he put on his forever gold sunglasses. Suddenly a Xanthe appeared, busting through the wall holding a Sloane and a tactical nuke.

    “DID SOMEONE REQUEST A TACTICAL NUKE!” Grabbing the cure and dropping the Sloane, Xanthe noclip’d back out into the battlefield and proceeded to pull a cooking pot seemingly out of nowhere, mixed everything up, then dropped it on the entire world. AND THUS EVERYONE WAS SAVED.

    OR SO THEY THOUGHT!!!

    Just as everyone began to celebrate their freedom from the bulbasaur epidemic, Archaic came riding in on a bulbasaurus rex. It appeared the cure did not work on him.

    “Surrender to the might of Archaic and the Bulbasaurus Rex!”

    “Never!” yelled back a stunningly gorgeous dunsparce in heels, “Sarah defeated you already! You cannot beat our bulbasaur!”

    “That’s what she wants you to think!” Archaic replied, “Come Operative 3S^! Your time as a double agent is finally over!” Everyone turned to look at Sarah as she began to laugh maniacally and started to evolve. She grew and grew until she crushed the building and was taller than any form of Corey magic could make someone be. She let out a mighty roar and said,

    “FEAR ME I AM THE MIGHTY TRISARAHTOPS!”

    Using her trisarahtops magic, Sarah instantly turned everyone back into brainwashed bulbasaurs and defeated all her former comrades. As she walked among the bodies of her old friends, Sloane reached out to her and caught the traitor’s attention.

    “Wh-Why Sarah? You were the only thing that kept us going,” Sloane said, “Why would you betray us?” Sarah looked Sloane dead in the eyes and in a deep, bone chilling voice, she answered,

    “It’s because games cost too much on Steam.”
    Last edited by Noblejanobii; 01-09-2017 at 06:25 PM.
    / / / / / / / /
    Avatar by Soggymint
    Double Agents with Suicune's Fire

  12. This post has been liked by:


  13. #7
    Awesome. And nice alliteration in the title! >w<

    I think it might be worth making a little "guest starring... ___" section to each story so that people can be aware of which stories they get a mention or a minor role in. :] I mean, even just tagging them in the story post would be cool, or even a little directory in the first post (with or without tags). It's nice to have a surprise and see yourself in a story, but it also might make people want to read a story if they know beforehand that they'll be showing up in it. xD


    Also Noble, remember that hilarious dream you had involving a bunch of members? I almost think that would be worth posting here. XD Maybe if you story-ised it a little, even. It was so funny. Spidey-Speed: "I will never make the sprinting easier." XDD

  14. This post has been liked by:


  15. #8
    Cheers and good times! Neo Emolga's Avatar
    Senior Administrator

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    17,439
    Quote Originally Posted by Noblejanobii View Post
    Haha man this was great! Makes me want to post my secret Santa story for Sarah on here!

    Also I got two lines YUSH
    Your hilarious story for Sarah inspired me to do this, so I thank you for that! And thanks for adding it to the collection! I was hoping you'd do that! :3

    Hopefully we rack up quite a nice collection of stuff in here. :3

  16. This post has been liked by:


  17. #9
    The Queen of Shaymin
    Noblejanobii's Avatar
    Site Editor

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    US
    Posts
    17,593
    Quote Originally Posted by Neo Emolga View Post
    Your hilarious story for Sarah inspired me to do this, so I thank you for that! And thanks for adding it to the collection! I was hoping you'd do that! :3

    Hopefully we rack up quite a nice collection of stuff in here. :3
    Well thank you! Hopefully this will increase traffic and interest in the Writing Desk too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire View Post
    Awesome. And nice alliteration in the title! >w<

    I think it might be worth making a little "guest starring... ___" section to each story so that people can be aware of which stories they get a mention or a minor role in. :] I mean, even just tagging them in the story post would be cool, or even a little directory in the first post (with or without tags). It's nice to have a surprise and see yourself in a story, but it also might make people want to read a story if they know beforehand that they'll be showing up in it. xD


    Also Noble, remember that hilarious dream you had involving a bunch of members? I almost think that would be worth posting here. XD Maybe if you story-ised it a little, even. It was so funny. Spidey-Speed: "I will never make the sprinting easier." XDD
    I do think that'd be worth adding. I'm about to fall asleep though so I'll have to add the guest stars tomorrow.

    Oh you mean the multiple dreams? Yeah I'll have to find them but I'll add them in later if i can!
    / / / / / / / /
    Avatar by Soggymint
    Double Agents with Suicune's Fire

  18. This post has been liked by:


  19. #10
    Reach for the Stars ~★ Chibi Altaria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    On a fluffy cloud of cotton-candy.
    Posts
    4,095
    This is so full of gold references I can't...I can't even. XD *still laughing* OH MY GOD, NEO. YOU ARE AWESOME. I WAS AWESOME. ERIC WAS AWESOME. WE WERE ALL AWESOME. except MichaelXD

    I legit can't choose a favourite part because the entire thing is my favourite part. xD

  20. This post has been liked by:


Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •