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  1. 02-03-2017, 03:14 PM #1
    Bulbasaur
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    Really Bad Jokes

    AKA Dad Jokes.

    Can you guys post all your bad jokes here? I really enjoy them. I'll post mine!

    What is Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill?
    Walking!
    JK, rolling.

    I met this girl at the vegetable store that said she knew me, but I'd never met herbivore.

    When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

    It's hard to say what my wife does for a living.
    She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

    My favorite Christmas present last year was a broken drum. Can't beat that!

    How did the cannonball lose its job?
    It got fired.
    Last edited by Bulbasaur; 02-03-2017 at 03:15 PM. Reason: MORE GOODNESS
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    Pokemon Trainer Sarah, Suicune's Fire 
  3. 02-03-2017, 04:58 PM #2
    Mujaffa
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    things you can say about cars that you probably shouldnt say about your spouse. NSFW warning and i'll also say "she" because i hate women. <-- offensive jokes also count, callin it!
    Spoiler:
    Fits 3 in the back and 2in the front!
    She's pretty wide
    My parents bought her for me on my 16th birthday
    Too much junk in the trunk
    She was really dirty so i had to take her trough the washer
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    Well I'm probably the lowest posting active member. All a part of my brilliant strategy to make the few things i post seem good!
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  5. 02-05-2017, 07:15 PM #3
    Bulbasaur
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    Some more:

    If you get an e-mail from me about canned ham, ignore it. It's spam.

    I hate when people ask me what I will be doing in 3 years! I don't have 2020 vision.
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  6. 02-06-2017, 03:02 AM #4
    Suicune's Fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bulbasaur View Post
    I hate when people ask me what I will be doing in 3 years! I don't have 2020 vision.
    ...Shouldn't this be "Where I see myself in 3 years"? xD See...20/20 vision...you know.
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  8. 02-06-2017, 06:26 PM #5
    Bulbasaur
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire View Post
    ...Shouldn't this be "Where I see myself in 3 years"? xD See...20/20 vision...you know.
    I mean it still gets the point across. I just copy pasted that one from Dad Jokes on Facebook.

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  9. 02-08-2017, 03:25 PM #6
    ant2011
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    What's brown and sticky?
    A stick.
    She/Her pronouns please
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  11. 02-20-2017, 12:34 PM #7
    Suicune's Fire
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    THESE JOKES ARE AMAZING BY THE WAY. My favourite is the Harry Potter one. XD So good.

    I love dad jokes. All of my friends agree that I'd make a great dad.
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  12. 02-20-2017, 06:45 PM #8
    Wookie Mistake
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    I'm not a dad, but I know a lot of horrible jokes/riddles, laugh at your own peril...

    How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

    Spoiler:
    Follow the fresh prints


    How do you make an octopus laugh?

    Spoiler:
    Give it ten tickles


    Why was the broom late for it's appointment?

    Spoiler:
    Because it overswept!


    Why do you never lend an Italian your car?

    Spoiler:
    Because they'll return it Al Dente!


    What do you do with a dead chemist?

    Spoiler:
    Barium


    I've got hundreds of 'em
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  13. 02-20-2017, 10:16 PM #9
    Ebail
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    Whenever I'd hit a bug with a rolled up newspaper I usually proceed to let out "that was some hard hitting news"

    But if that's not your style here's one I know

    Why did the coffee file a police report?

    It got mugged
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