I'm not a dad, but I know a lot of horrible jokes/riddles, laugh at your own peril...

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Spoiler:
Follow the fresh prints


How do you make an octopus laugh?

Spoiler:
Give it ten tickles


Why was the broom late for it's appointment?

Spoiler:
Because it overswept!


Why do you never lend an Italian your car?

Spoiler:
Because they'll return it Al Dente!


What do you do with a dead chemist?

Spoiler:
Barium


I've got hundreds of 'em