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  1. #1
    Senior Moderator EmeraldSky's Avatar
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    Okay...this was interesting, and a little hard to follow--it would help if we knew a little about who these characters are, and if the action was made a little clearer.
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  2. #2
    The Queen of Shaymin
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmeraldSky View Post
    Okay...this was interesting, and a little hard to follow--it would help if we knew a little about who these characters are, and if the action was made a little clearer.
    Gardia and Pace have appeared in a previous story, Weekly Prompt 8, where at least Gardia is developed a lot more but she always gives some indication into Pace's personality as well. The other three were going to have a much bigger role but I kept writing myself into a corner and never loving the outcome. I actually rewrote this about four different times so I get it's not going to be perfect. And I'm not sure what you mean by the action being clearer when much of the story is narrated and there isn't much fighting?
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