The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

I'll search #35b Itchy Witchy Pinny Ping Bang Hotel Floors 6-10.

Hopefully there aren't any nasty surprises hiding in this place, now.

It's a lovely evening and finally you're heading out! A massive chunk of Booplesnoot already looks like Candyland and you're checking out what used to a goofy hotel with loads of mermaid Pokémon decor... or at least until it became a heap of marshmallow. But why not try a bite!?

@Giga Marshmallow Presence - NORMAL (+1 Belly)@
Cipher has slapped on 1 point of Belly for the Giga Marshmallow Presence!

Mmm, really makes you feel like a kid again, doesn't it?

You scope out and check around the sixth floor where, surprise! More savory marshmallow goodness. It's like walking around on a really sticky cloud! And it sure isn't doing your fur any favors.

You then move onto the seventh floor where it's more of the same story, though you find a small area of the hotel that looks like it dodged the mayhem! You find boots, an umbrella, a TV stand, and ooh, someone's wallet! You look inside and see it belonged to Meemeemee the Bayleef. Curiously, you look up and see the uncanny coincidence of a very Bayleef-shaped marshmallow standing before you.

Welp, doesn't look like he needs this anymore.

Cipher has added a ritzy $400 Snax$ to the Team Pile!

You check the eighth and ninth floors, but you don't find much and by now, you look like a walking marshmallow blob. You barely make it to the tenth floor before you finally call it quits and get out of there.

Thankfully the Peep base has great showers!

Cipher the Ninetales (M: Fire)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Vexing Amulet (-2 Overwhelming Cuteness for each instance of affliction)%
Goodies #2: %Prismatic Guard (+4 Max Belly)%
Belly: 1/14 (10+4)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 6/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

Gonna finish up this search here....I feel...it'll help in some way

(48) Obscure Chunky Nugget Condos (48c) Floors 11-15

You enter the fabulous Obscure Chunky Nugget Condos, where fame and fortune await!

You start off at the eleventh floor, and you find most of the condos here are either locked or have odd things, like that one where you found way more emoji merchandise than what can be considered normal and sane. And a hat made of phonebooks. You can also tell an Arbok lives here because you found the imprint of one's face in a birthday cake that was in the fridge. Really?

The 12th floor seems to be completely a roller skating rink for some unexplainable reason.

On the 13th floor, things take a concerning turn when you notice the condos on this level have taken a bizarre turn and the whole thing looks like a beehive. With honey dripping from the ceiling! Who's... dumb idea was this?

The fourteenth floor went for a seashell theme and the fifteenth floor went for a jungle theme. You still don't find too much in the condos you can access save for dirty underwear, bookshelves with books around coding in programming languages that went out of style since prehistoric times, and "The Idiot's Joke Book" which you flip through only for a few mere seconds before it makes you want to bury your head back into bed and not come out until next Valentine's Day.

You then find the roof access door, which is greasy and gooey and reminds you of Ghostbusters for these very reasons. You see there's a greasy keyhole as well, but no sigh of the key anywhere.

{Greasy Roof Access Door: Greasy Key Hole}

You're a bit stuck until you find these key, so you decide to head back and play Frisbee with a frying pan. It doesn't go over too well. You've gained 0 EXP points.

Soren the Valiant Jirachi (S: Steel/Psychic)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Staryu Hair Clip%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Movie Shenanigans

[VeloJello]

Alright, you know what? My lead led me to a putrid pudding pile (which admittedly did turn up good results, but nothing I'm after), so let's try the direct approach. Maybe Hude will appreciate someone of his typing coming to talk to him. If this doesn't work, I'll capitulate for now, but I can't help but feel that he's our likeliest Al candidate.

Interview 19 Hude the Spoink.

[Neo Emolga]

Alright, you know what? My lead led me to a putrid pudding pile (which admittedly did turn up good results, but nothing I'm after), so let's try the direct approach. Maybe Hude will appreciate someone of his typing coming to talk to him. If this doesn't work, I'll capitulate for now, but I can't help but feel that he's our likeliest Al candidate.

Interview 19 Hude the Spoink.

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE
+1 Shared Pokémon Type (Psychic)

You find Hude still working the front desk... even though he's probably not on payroll anymore because said front desk, along with the rest of the hotel, is now pudding goo and it's dripping from the ceiling and landing on both of you. But he's still bouncing away like business is usual and nothing really changed. The odd thing is he's biting the front desk in a way that almost implies he's done this before. Like before it was pudding and back when it was still wood.

"Hey Hude," you greet him, hoping he's not that stupid. "I came to ask you about the Squawkers! Know anything about them?"

"Candy," Hude smiles before taking another mouthful of front desk pudding. "Squawkers and candy!"

You nod, knowing that also in today's news, the sun rose up today and there were fish that woke up still in the ocean! Who'd a thunk it!?

"Hude, can you brain today?" you ask, hoping for some kind of juicy and informative tidbit. "What else did the Squawkers do?"

"Maybe candy?" Hude asks, thinking. "Some candy! Big candy! Lots of candy! Yay!"

And then, overjoyed beyond belief, he lets loose a roaring, monstrous fart and he giggles through the entire thing like an ecstatic schoolboy finding cupcakes in his lunchbox. You accidently catch a slight whiff and it smells like blasphemy. You really wonder how that tiny piggy body can hold so much toxic methane but somehow it just does.

You decide to go before the Creator has to put Health and Sanity damage back into the game.

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 4/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

[Neo Emolga]

I know I kinda said I was gonna recruit whats-his-face, buuuut...
What's in the fridge?!?
Taking the Essence of Tomatoes and the Essence of Raspberries to the Locked Fridge in the Obscure Chunky Nuggets Condos

And also eating that probably very stale fortune cookie, if possible.

You decide to see what surprises this silly fortune cookie has. You unwrap it, break it open, take out the little paper slip and munch away while you read the fortune! It tastes like chocolate! The fortune cookie, not the fortune itself, silly!

~[Flavored Fortune Cookie *Fortune Inside!* - NORMAL (+1 Overwhelming Cuteness)]~ has been consumed!
Bless has tacked on 1 Belly point!

You read what the little paper says and it reads:

"Al's so awesome and he's all the rage! Maybe it has to do with him evolving to his final stage!"

Oh, and your lucky numbers are 6, 16, 29, 14, 31, and 20.

You then take the mysterious Essence of Tomatoes and the Essence of Raspberries to the Locked Fridge in the Obscure Chucky Nugget Condos. When you present your mystical artifacts of amazement to the orbs, they're sucked into them and suddenly the fridge unlocks!

{Locked Refrigerator: Ethereal Tomato Lock AND Ethereal Raspberry Lock}
The [Essence of Tomatoes] and the [Essence of Raspberries] are gone! Buh-bye now!

Maybe the pizza of your dreams is inside! You fling open the door and...!

#Gleaming Shiny Rainbow Flitter Glitter! - GHOST (+6 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 58 out of 100: FAILED!

Bless has taken a whopping ZERO Points of Overwhelming Cuteness because you're a super-badass DARK type and YOU GOT YOUR BADASS PUNS OF ANARCHY rockin' on!

The rainbow glitter blasts at you from inside the fridge like a dizzy hurricane of Skittles, but it fizzles as soon as it touches you! You feel ...nothing. NOTHING! You let loose an evil laugh and it feels just fine!

There's nothing in the fridge save for... a rainbow jester's cap? Of yodeling? What the ...you know, you've learned not to ask. It's definitely the Squawkers again. Their little trap was totally foiled by you and you feel really downright SMUG about it right now! Flash that evil grin, you!

#[Rainbow Jester's Cap of Yodeling] Gleaming Shiny Rainbow Flitter Glitter! - GHOST (+6 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

You cruise on out of there, feeling fine and quite cheeky right now. You treat yourself to a sponge bath! You use the good soap you've been saving! You use that extra fluffy towel! Damn, girl, you is fine!

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 1/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

[Neo Emolga]

A perfectly normal night! Excellent!

Time for some mischief! Where's my blood paint? I know I had some spraypaint cans and some paint guns and-

MADDER!

UGH! You're so annoying. Fine. I'll only bring the waterballoons.

Let's just make our way to search (24) The Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel Exterior.

You homicidal nature has given you +700% to Attack Power! Unfortunately, this is meaningless in this game context.

You get in your fictional Ferrari and drive on over to the Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel and park in the parking lot to check things out and maybe find a lucky penny or two! At first, you only find broken glass, a funky pink plastic bag, someone's teeth, a black hole, a ballpoint pen crushed to smithereens, a bag of FREEEETOS with only crumbs inside, and a toothpick. But of course you keep looking!

You throw a water balloon at an elderly Clefable lady and it smacks her right in the back side of the head! +150 EXP points! -3 to Karma! Madder's Reputation with the Elderly Faction has gone down by 100! You feel better about yourself!

After searching the area around the pool, you find a hidden passage in the back and it takes you to a weird chamber of odd, stringy pasta things. Suddenly you stand before the OFFERING! Why, it's the Extreme and Lovely Noodle Offering of Time!

{The Extreme and Lovely Noodle Offering of Time: Missing Magical College Ramen AND Missing Military-Grade Tactical Linguini AND Missing Chinese Crispy Noodles}

It demands an offering! You find the dark recipe it calls for includes magical college ramen, military-grade tactical linguini, and some Chinese crispy noodles. Well, someone sure is obsessed. In fact, this whole secret room just has a plethora of noodles everywhere. Ziti and penne is all around your feet while rigatoni keeps dropping from the noodleized (is that a word?) ceiling!

Well, you don't have these things quite yet, so you decide to turn around and go before ...weird things happen.

You scope out the rest of the hotel but you only find 500 Bitcoins and you feel that's not really worth anything anyway.

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4.75/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

I'mma search the (29) Tal-Mart, more importantly the (29c) Outdoor junk

You jump, you hop, you skip, you gallop around and eventually find yourself at Tal-Mart: Outdoor Junk, because you know that there's no such thing as getting lost, just finding new places to be in!

From funky outdoor furniture to create-your-own-militia array of waterguns, there's so much stuff here that it could blow your mind and make you go loony for cartoons starring you! And maybe extra fluffy waffles.

Some of the more interesting things that stand out to you:

TAL-MART OUTDOOR JUNK
$[Magical Fairy Pikachu Outdoor Garden Statue] 250 Snax$
$[Foldzor Lawn Chairz!] 300 Snax$
$[Sprinklalorz!] 150 Snax$
$[OMG Garden Hosezor] 200 Snax$
$[Potz for Plantzor] 100 Snax$
$["The Rust is Bust!" Anti-Rust Solution] 300 Snax$
$[Cementy Mix!] 200 Snax$

Well, you're not sure what kind of use that stuff might have, but... ah, whatever. Maybe you'll find a use for some of that later!

You search around the rest of this area of Tal-Mart and you find there's something odd on the ground and it seems to flicker with rainbows. You pick it up and...

#Rainbow Glitter - GROUND (+2 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 89 out of 100: SUCCESS!

Whoa crap, it's Squawker-related!

You avoid the sudden blast of glitter and use a spare nearby doggy poop bag (you make sure there's no actual poop in it) to grab it and cover it. Nah ha ha! You foiled the Squawkers plans with the power of plastic poop bag! You win 200 extra Cool Points!

#[Fidget Spinner Pad] Rainbow Glitter - GROUND (+2 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile!

You look around and you don't see anyone nearby that looks like they intentionally put this here. Well, after checking around one more time, you decide to head out before the store closes and they lock you inside!

Dio the Stalwart Vibrava (M: Ground/Dragon)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[ARandomTool]

I know I kinda said I was gonna recruit whats-his-face, buuuut...
What's in the fridge?!?
Taking the Essence of Tomatoes and the Essence of Raspberries to the Locked Fridge in the Obscure Chunky Nuggets Condos

And also eating that probably very stale fortune cookie, if possible.

[Noblejanobii]

A perfectly normal night! Excellent!

Time for some mischief! Where's my blood paint? I know I had some spraypaint cans and some paint guns and-

MADDER!

UGH! You're so annoying. Fine. I'll only bring the waterballoons.

Let's just make our way to search (24) The Bibbity Bopple Bop Hotel Exterior.

[arnisd]

I'mma search the (29) Tal-Mart, more importantly the (29c) Outdoor junk