The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

let's jump in with Cipher the Ninetales FOR A DEATH METAL WORKOUT mWHAHAHAHA!

You join in the unholy serenade, laughing manically with a roar that shakes the walls and causes the light to fade as infernal darkness surrounds the area! You bring out a little black bag, and you rip it open, unleashing countless battalions of shadow souls that allow the shade to swallow the light. Your eyes glow red and shoot HYPER DOOM LASERS OF PAIN, destroying a piñata and a birthday cake, ruining a Cleffa's birthday party before sending them all screaming in agony. And you like it! You é̹͇̳̞̹͓̤v̼̜i̦̹͔͍̰̥̲l͚͙̫̻̹̱, thing, you.

Doom metal and thrashing bass fills the planet and random things get lit aflame. You launch a flaming skull out the window like a meteor of doom. It laughs as it sets everything on fire and smothers an infernal pestilence across the once colorful landscape!

Madder has d̠̗̣̤̮͇̤e̦̟͉̤̞̭̫f̻̫̤͜i͉̳͖̮͕̜l͚̺̹͖͉͎̩͡e͇d͠ and assassinated 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

Bones, flames, and black shadowy things are all over the place thanks to you! What a beautiful day!

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4.75/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

I may not need it, but I'm gonna FEEL THE BURN. Not from....Cipher's fire, but from a fitness workout!

You succumb to the darkness and join the doom march of shadows, blowing the Thunderhorn of Warfall and causing the world to be plunged into chaos! Your blood turns a vile black and light-devouring thorn vines surge out and flair wildly like unholy tentacles. The sun goes blood-red and the skies go black as the legions of doom take the form of countless zombies, ghouls, and skeletons.

The shambling undead Pokémon horde shambles through the once-cheerful town of Booblesnoot, hailing the End of All Things. Screams fill the air and the farm-fresh smell of brimstone fills the air! Mmm, fragrant like a Yankee candle!

Soren has gained 2 points of Evil (kidding) and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

Oh, and you get evil eye lasers, too. Pew pew!

Soren the Valiant Jirachi (S: Steel/Psychic)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: %Staryu Hair Clip%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Movie Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

Well, since I'm going to be wrapping up my exploration of pudding purgatory already...

Fitness workout.

You join the doom march and enter ANARCHY FERAL STATE, growing ten times in size as the underworld hails you as the new STORM COMMANDER COLOSSUS. Your APEX PRIMAL LUGIA skin goes black as you made XD Shadow Lugia look like a little whiny snot in comparison to your perfect, black, infernal majesty. Flaming thunder rages around you as you rock the neighboring solar system with your roaring, horrible laughter of death! You also ruin some little kid's birthday birth in the next galaxy over by setting all their presents on fire. And you find this amusing!

Velo has eviscerated 2 points of Belly, 1 point of Overwhelming Cuteness, and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

Your final boss theme plays, and it has heavy bass, thundering drums, a chorus, and does everything it can to make the player wet themselves in anxiety and frustration. They die over and over, forcing them to have to look up walkthroughs only to keep failing again and again anyway. And giving them that GAME OVER so many times feels like heaven to you. A very cold, dark, and evil kind of heaven.

Muah ha ha ha ha!!!!

Velo the Heroic Lugia (L: Psychic/Flying)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/12
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/8
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hardcore Parkour

[Neo Emolga]

Let's join this ever growing party! FITNESS WORKOUT PARTY! YEAH!

You pick up a barbell, thinking it starts off like that, but then you just join in on the evil fun and smelt the barbell down and forge it into LIFETHEFT SCYTHE OF THE APOCALYPSE and wear a black robe with lots of fun, gnarly, and jagged unholy symbols all over it. Plants just wither and die around you as a black smoke surrounds your shadowy, pitch-black form. You wear an evil grin, and legions of the netherworld denizens arise from the Rot Pits to join you as your dark and infernal entourage. A 40 man raid party attempts to fight you for epic loot and legendary item drops, but you laugh as you ANNIHILATE them in a battlefest slaughterhouse fiesta. They lose multiple levels of experience and now have to spend heaps of gold to repair their equipment. The ones that haven't completely rage-quit the entire game decide XEXIOUS HELLFACE THE DEATHMARCH DRAGON might be an easier raid to go for.

Marta has eradiated 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness, bringing doom to the world, and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

The shadows laugh with you as the world gets colder... darker...

Marta the Marvelous Buizel (M: Water)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Crusher Crazy (6 DMG, 50% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 3/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

Joining everyone else to workout.

You DO join everyone else, laughing in dreadful MaDnEsS as your grotesque witchcraft of hatred surges and weaves its nightmares into the minds and souls of all, relentlessly devastating the dreams of all things. Black, shadow-fallen tendrils of evil swirl and fork their way into the spirits of all things, twisting them feverishly toward the darkness.

Even the rocks scream as your dark Nightcraft Necromancy gives rise to hulking flesh and bone golems of abominations. As they roar bloody anger and hunger for the new body harvest to come, a black organ blasts out as its thundering doom music, serving as the harbinger of the darkness. Tomorrow will come, but it will be a black, blighted one as you and your compatriots of death continue your doom march across this newly wasted world where the unending night of pain and anguish rages on.

The children scream, and you laugh and cackle as the shadows of blight and madness ravage and twist everything around you into wretched and defiled juxtapositions of their former selves.

Carly has outright M̷̤u̼͚̦͙̠R̡̰̘d͎͟E̮̠̹̥͙r̫̗ͅEḓ̵̣̬͔ 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness, hailing the rise of EvIL, and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

You then step on a flower and grind it with your foot, grinning wickedly. And then you giggle, softly as first before it gets louder and louder, echoing through the city as a traumatizing nightmare that cannot be forgotten by all those who hear its shrill cackling.

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 3.5/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Neo Emolga]

Bless didn't even bother looking outside. Anything and everything out there was dead to her. And so, too, would the sparkles on the Chibi Star Bracelet. Everyone else was working out, but she felt fine. As cool as that Cipher seemed to be, there was too many people around them to be able to strike up a decent conversation. So she made sure to take the possessed relic to another room to perform her dark rituals on it.

Purging the Shiny Sparkles of Joy! from the Chibi Star Bracelet.

You smile wickedly as you hold out your blacked paw, and suddenly the shrill wails of a million souls cry out in agony. The sweet music of this abysmal anguish fills your ears and your black heart with unholy ecstasy as you approach the adorable Chibi Star Bracelet. It attempts to afflict you in one last final stand, but the cuteness-inducing sparkles just vaporize as they come close to your grotesque aura of pure evil. You devour its lost hope and the taste of such sweet despair is orgasmic.

Into that bracelet, you pour your cruelty, your malice, and your will to dominate all life. It shakes as if even this inanimate object is suffering from a cataclysmic, soul-wrenching seizure. The dark chorus heralds the impending and inevitable doom and the final bells of damnation chime with a hideous ring. It rains the blood of a million crushed bodies and all around you, the air grows foul, poisoned, and filthy with corruption.

Your loVEly heArtLEss eVIL has caused The Shiny Sparkles of Joy on the [Chibi Star Bracelet] to be U҉͇͉̤͔̭̟͓̠͠t̛̙̗̯̩̱͝T̶̢͍͈̞̩̪e͏̷̴̠̜̪̝͚r͏̮̠͚̪l̞̗̳͙̖͢͡ ͉̞̳Y͏̴̜͇ͅ ̸̘̦̟͟A̴̟̗͟͞n̮̺̙̘̼͍̹͘͢ͅN̸̟̹̖͓̪̭͚͜͞i̷͎͚̪̜͉͘H̭̠͚̳̗̗͙i ̲̠͖̝Ḽ̨̢̟͔ạ̢̛͉̦̜̜t̤̼͎E̷̛̘̜̯͔̫̦͞d҉̴̩͕͢ ͝͏̝̟̯̼͎̲A̶̙͓͙͔̥̗͈ņ̨̣Ḑ̖͈̬͉͖̳͔͎ ͏̣̩̲s̞͙e̼̪͈̣͢N̸͖͍͖̝͚̯͜T̸͉̖͢ ̟̙̺̲̞͜͡ǫ͚̪͈̺͝f҉̲̤͎͓͍͉F̛͚͖͉̘͕͓͙̫͖ ͖̬̩̱͟͞t̛͇̖͈̘͢O̵̴͍̙͚̩ ̜̖̰̪̱̣T̹̩̺̖͕̘ͅh͏͏̘E̬̜̹̲̻ ̫̻̣͘͟F̦̙̺̹̫̘̫͡͞a͔͖͖l͎̰̰͘l̴̩̙̱̤̕ͅE̦͘͢N̪̭̜̟͚͡͡ ̶͉͕̞̫͇́́ͅp̢̢̢̬̜͔̘̖I̡̘͜T̶͡҉̜̰̠͇̗̜̻s̵̹̺̥͠͞ ̶͇̝̀o̴̵̯̠̮̗̤̤̕F̡̱̞̹̻͈̀ ̮̠̞̦̲͈̫͞U̢̠̙̮̦̼̥͘͡n͍̜͢E̻̺ń͔̪̻̬̞̹̪̕ḑ͉͓̜̖I̛̗̠̳͡N̴̺ ̝g̨̼̹̳͘ ̛͔̘D̗̝̳͡é͉̪̺͢a̞͖̻͓͈̣͜Ṭ͖Ḩ̸̢̥̮͇̮̦̠̞̼!̵̸͈̮͘!̴̣̫̼̮! ̵̖̟͍̬̻̼͝

The Chibi Star Bracelet lays idle in a puddle of bubbling, boiling blood. You pick it up and flash a nefarious grin at the dark, unholy castration you have performed on it.

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: %Sugarcoated Commando Body Armor (+1 MAX Belly)%
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 1.5/11 (10+1)
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

[Neo Emolga]

Search here: (4) Chinny Ping Bang Games Studios

Work out!

You join the dark, unholy ensemble and become one with the defiled Doom March. The blacked blood of sin flows within your veins as you exhale the breath of chaos, causing all that inhale it to suffer mindless insanity and mania. Foul Legions of the Damned join you as this new, unholy horde of black, soul-stripped Pokémon moan and heed your every corrupted command. You send them forward to purge all hope and life as their dark marauding madness consumes all that they see in their path.

The Doom Call howls from your flaming maw as vile tendrils of rot and decay reach out and seize every living thing they can grasp. The traumatic pain of a million wars and holocausts blasts out around you in a ring of pure hatred and misery, mind-flaying the hearts and minds of men, women, and children Pokémon in all directions. Their eyes roll to the back of their heads and their bodies twitch uncontrollably as their minds succumb to the madness.

Eddie has castrated 2 points of Belly, eradicated 2 points of Overwhelming Cuteness, and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

Every step you take sparks a blackened fire. No light shines upon where you walk as the shadows welcome you with their black embrace and their enticing darkness...

Eddie the Epic Bulbasaur (S: Grass/Poison)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

Let's do another workout I guess

Of CoURse!

You perform the BLACK DEATHFALL AWAKENING, unleashing your true, final form of chaos and despair. You embrace the unending shadows as you twist and turn yourself into a towering, devouring hydra with seven heads, each resembling one of the deadly sins. The skies rain poison and corrosive acid, burning everything in a deadly bathing of death and destruction. Your corrupted roar strikes fear into the hearts and souls of all things, calling upon the ravaged netherworld to seize the new and perverted glory.

No Pokémon or living thing can resist the dark smiting you strike upon them, and soon all are paralyzed with a fear never experienced before. The can only heed and despair, mindlessly following your every dark order even to their own undoing.

Dio has massacred 2 points of Belly and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

As the sky grows blacker and colder, each of your corrupted seven heads smile as the hope-purging dusk comes to claim and consume the last shreds of light that remain. Even the sun, once a beacon of hope and light, succumbs to the dark corruption you and the other heralds of the Doom March have wrought.

Dio the Stalwart Vibrava (M: Ground/Dragon)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 4/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

I'll join in with the fitness workout. Don't want to lose this new form as soon as I got it thank you.

As the last and final member of the Doom March, you smile softly at first... before a cataclysm blast of blood-boiling evil flares out around you. You laugh and the very sound of your defiled voice hails the perverse apocalypse you have prepared for all to suffer in. Dark fires and flames entrench their soul-consuming flames into all that surrounds you, leaving nothing but foul-smelling ash in your wake. A defiled path of pure black follows you as everything you see is bathed in black, burning misery and anguish.

A grotesque and macabre laughter roars from your mouth as the world is coated with a black and unholy soot of sickness and decay. Shadows and flames take shape and form into the nightmares ripped from the terrors of everyone's darkest imaginations. A barbaric and savage harvest begins as heads, flesh, and sinew is the new crop of the damned.

Fírnen has GuTTed 2 points of Belly and traumatized multiple children in the process! Yippie!

A new malice spreads around you, casting a new reckoning of spite and sin that takes root in all that it can. Nothing but the dust of the damned remains in your wake of terror as you reign as the darkest menace to all who still foolishly hope to survive.

Fírnen the Incredible Aloan Vulpix (S: Ice)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

#21 Jippy the Feraligatr was turned into a dazzling, giant sugar cookie by the Squawkers!

OMG WHERE DID IT HAPPEN!?: 9 Bizney World Amusement Park!

Apparently the Squawkers liked targeting mommies. First Deeky the Pachirisu and now this! How cruel! And it had happened right in Bizney World's Yesterdayland, where dreams were supposed to come true! Now look! It's a conspiracy!

"NoooOOooooOOo!" Nesbit howled in catastrophic dismay! "Look! Look at what those miserable, vile, evil Squawkers did to my wife!"

"I... yeah, I totally see that," Biggs replied, a bit sheepishly. "In fact I think it was us who found this first and then called you here before you saw it yourself and well... never mind."

Meanwhile, Nesbit's son Clappy was just sobbing in the corner.

"I don't think I can eat cookies ever again after this!" Clappy cried.

"There, there," Biggs the Lopunny tried to comfort the agonized Totodile. "I promise we'll torture the Squawkers to reveal how they did this so we can reverse the transformation! Just make sure you keep your mom cookie in a safe place until we do that!"

"O-okay..." Clappy replied, trying to settle down.

Clappy soon joined his father Nesbit while Wedge pulled Biggs aside.

"We're not even sure that's possible yet, Biggs," the hulking Machamp told the Lopunny as he kept his voice down. "Be careful about what you start promising to the families of these victims!"

"Bleh, yeah, I'm just trying to be optimistic here!" Biggs shrugged, sweating a bit under the pressure. "I mean, if I was a magician, I would totally have fixed this already! If only if there was a special place where Pokémon could go to get healed instantly no matter what was ailing them! Wouldn't that be wonderful!? I think I would call it... a Pokémon Center!"

"Would you stop fantasizing already!?" Wedge growled. "There's no way a place like that could exist! And even if it did, it would be out of your mind expensive!"

Biggs sighed, and then looked back to the rest of the city. Things weren't looking too good...

"Wedge, have you... looked around lately?" Biggs asked the Machamp. "There's not a whole lot of Booplesnoot left that hasn't been... well... caked and candied and what have you."

"We're running out of time and we haven't unmasked any of the Squawkers yet..." Wedge replied with concern. "I hope we can make up for lost time."

"Yeah..." Biggs sighed. "But if they do turn me into a cookie, promise me you won't let Vivi eat me. Please? Between you and me, she's... disgusting."

It had been a while since the heavy Machamp laughed like that before.

Happy Apocalyptic Candy Event 1: Squawkers Wipe Out Too Many Civilians:
The Squawkers are turning everyone into silly objects and dessert food items! This can't be allowed to continue because it'll be a bad day otherwise!
8/20

(43) The Silver Orange Hotel has been entirely turned into candy!

All Peeps have had their Belly stat reduced by 2 Points!