The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Neo Emolga]

I think I'll interveiw #3 Zuul the Minccino

Interview Rapport: ✭EPIC!!✭
Same Evolution Line!

You find Zuul the Minccino works as a journalist at the Booplesnoot Times Newspaper and he typically doesn't like his job, but you have a feeling that's not because of the nature of the work, it's because of... Bappyboo. Out of the corner of your eye, you see he's working on a story that Babbyboo requested about what's fluffier, an Eevee or a Buneary, and he just couldn't care less about the subject matter.

"Oh HEY!" Zuul lights up when he sees you! "Thank you, I could use a break from this... crap. I mean my stupid boss keeps requesting stupid stories like... yeah, LOOK AT THIS! Who cares!? Anyway, it was bad before the Squawkers showed up, but it's only gotten worse. And yeah, she told me it's this or do a story about taste-testing every afflicted building in town and do a food review about it. Like hell I'm doing that. So fluff versus fluff it is."

You ask Zuul about what he has learned about the Squawkers and if he's come across anything that might be helpful.

"I SWEAR my stupid boss Bappyboo got afflicted by one of these Squawkers," Zuul tells you with a hard sigh. "I mean she's always been annoying and cheeky, but she treats the Squawker invasion like it's no big deal and everyone's real estate turing into candy is just wonderful. And why does she keep wanting to send reporters and journalists into those afflicted places? They're freaking dangerous! I had to roll Duggy the Quilava over to the Get Buffed! Exercise Club because he just barely made it back alive and only stopped devouring all that cake because he became too much like a bowling ball to continue snacking. I told him to seriously never do these stupid kinds of stories. I'd rather get fired than end up like that! Well, he's on sick leave after Zezzyzee worked him so hard that he barfed, but at least he's still alive and in one piece!"

"I really didn't become a journalist for this," Zuul sighs. "Or these kinds of stupid stories! I wanted to cover cool stuff, like entertainment, music, maybe movie reviews, that kind of thing. Instead I'm stuck doing crap. Oh, but speaking of music, I should show you how I rock a bass guitar sometime! I've gotten so badass at it!"

You've discovered 3 Zuul the Minccino has the Death Metal Perky!

"Whew, just wow," Zuul sighs with almost a slight laugh, looking a lot better after having talked to you. "Say, you know what, you're a cool guy and I appreciate you saving my sanity from having to look at this dumb story for the last two hours. I think I'm just going to say screw it and shovel out dumb, random reasons why Eevee is fluffier and just throw it out there for publishing. I don't even think Bappyboo really even cares and Whopper just does whatever because she's overworked by Bappyboo. She's a moron too and I can't stand her face."

"Say, I think you'll be able to use this," Zull tells you, handing over a plastic membership card. "I haven't made any orders lately, but I'm sure you'll make better use of it than I have."

3 Zuul the Minccino has given you his [Glamazon Prime Membership]!

"Thanks for stopping by," Zuul smiles. "I'll catch you around, Fírnen!"

Fírnen the Incredible Cinccino (S: Normal)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 1/12
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

Let's interview #39 Spanky the Ekans.

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE, MODEST!
+1 Shared Pokémon Type (Poison)
+Modesty (Grass VS Poison)

You find Spanky works at Tal-Mart as a cashier, the job every college graduate aspires to have. No. He smiles all the time as per his manger's orders, though it's always, ALWAYS with sarcasm. You greet him, smile, and ask him what he knows about the Squawkers. He flicks his tongue and smiles.

"Oh yessss," Spanky hisses with a smile. "I know weird, ssstupid thingsss about sssome Pokémon. You ssssee, I ssscan the thingssss they buy all the time when they sssshop here. Now, when you sssstart adding thingsss up, you ssssstart learning thingssss. Like Putzor. I know sssshe livesss in the Piply Apartmentssss. Sssshe bought a lot of paper and tin foil the other day, and I couldn't imagine why. Well, sssshe hasss thissss weird passssion of rolling up big tin foil ballssss into her mouth and then tassssers herssself. I pisssssed myssself laughing the firssst time I ssssaw it and I had to sssslither away real fassst!"

"And ugh, Peeksssy," Spanky sighs before snickering. "He'ssss a ssspecial type of idiot. He keepsss having to buy new furniture becausssse he keepsss breaking hissss old ssstuff with his tantrumssss."

"Sssssay," he sneers. "If you help me, I'll help you. I have a 10th Pressstige Emblem for Call of Fruity: Ultra Modern Black Opssss Warfare Ghossstsss, but I need sssssome extra Pssssychossssoft Vex-Box Pointssss. 5,000 to be exact. Well, it'ssss either that, or you'll have to work in 10,000 hoursss of free time to get it! It'ssss a better deal if you give me thossse preciousss pointsss!"

You nod, but you have a better idea than this chump's nonsense.

39 Spanky the Ekans: 5,000 Psychosoft Vex-Box Points OR Simulation of 10,000 Hours of Free Time OR <Browser History Hacking>



You whip out your laptop of hacking mastery, use your mad hax skills, and dig into all the social media and nonsense connected to Spanky the Ekans and dive into all his account and personal information. And what you find makes you laugh to the point where it almost HURTS.

Turns out Spanky loves uploading videos to YouCube, and he has a whole secret personal collection of ones where he records himself dressing up like a noodle wearing a tutu with anime girl eyes stuck to his eyes and go rolling around in vodka sauce. There's like almost fifty of these stupid things. That and he is constantly watching videos of Watchogs choking on unshelled eggs. Like, the same three stupid videos over thousands of times.

You make him away of this new knowledge you've learned and it turns into quite the leverage.

"NOOOO!!!" Spanky panics! "No, no no, pleasssssse!! You musssn't tell anyone about thossse! Please, have mercy! MERCY! AHGGH-AH-AHHH!!!"

39 Spanky the Ekans has become Compliant!

39 Spanky the Ekans has given you the [10th Prestige Emblem!]

"Take it, take it!!!" Spanky sobs, shivering like a sad little danger noodle. "Oh gawwwdddd, no, no! Pleassse! Pleaseee don't tell anyone about thossseee!! I'd rather die!"

You nod, take your winnings, and decide to go along on your merry way.

Eddie the Epic Bulbasaur (S: Grass/Poison)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking