★Devolution Battle Royale!★

[Neo Emolga]

While I wait for Shruikan's judgment of torment...!

PUBLIC NOTICE OF CALAMITY
(Devolution Battle Royale Patch 1.1 Notes)

It has occurred to us that several players are getting all the action and embarrassment and there are some who are just watching and aren't enjoying the humiliating fun! As a result, some of the RNG spirits have been fired for noncompliance, we decided to hire new prospective RNG spirits through our talent acquisition program. (we're changing the old system)

At Neo Emolga and Chakramaster Incorporated, we believe all players should have the privilege of being publically humiliated. Therefore, to celebrate the most anarchical and maniacal day of the year (Black Friday), tomorrow, all cooldowns are getting told to go fly a kite and EVERYONE IS GETTING THEIR BUTTOCKS YANKED INTO A BATTLE REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH OR HOW LITTLE YOU'VE BATTLED ALREADY. Besides being so much loony fun and colorful insanity, it's needed to transition things into the new format. I don't shop on Black Friday anyway and I still have plenty of alcohol remaining.

Also, here's how the new system will work after everyone has been pulverized by Black Friday.

"SEASON ONE" begins with everyone eligible for a battle, kind of like how things first started. And there is still only one battle a day. HOWEVER, once two people have been selected and have battled, they cannot be selected again for the rest of the Season. The Season will keep going until everyone has battled and has had their chance to be battle-paired with another eligible goofball. If there are any players left remaining at the end (from having an odd number of players left), they don't battle that season, BUT THEY CAN BET THEIR GRANDMOTHER'S PANTIES they will battle first in the next one. So for example:

SEASON ONE

1. Cinderella
2. Rapunzel
3. Ariel
4. Merida
5. Belle

So if Cinderella and Ariel battle each other one Day 1 and Rapunzel and Merida battle each other on Day 2, that leaves poor Belle all alone, but to make up for it, Belle is GUARANTEED to battle first in Season Two to make sure she suffers also. Simple!

Also, if you get egged, that will last for the reason of the Season rather than last a week. When the new season begins, you'll hatch into one of your backup lines if you still have some.

If you have any questions, feel free to poke me. Just not too hard, I'm not the Pillsbury Doughboy!

@Chakramaster @ARandomTool @Scytherwolf @Voltaire Magneton @Shruikan @arnisd @Noblejanobii @sammy0295 @Bulbasaur