GCEA Journal [Open]

[Noblejanobii]

@Lychee

Okay here we go!

Spoiler:

I got sucked through a crazyass portal and dumped in the grass in a really chill place.

So "crazyass" actually need to be be "crazy-***" though you might've just been trying to get past the site's censors.

in a really chill place. Too chill for me

So at first when I read this I thought you meant chill as in lax, but the next sentence reveals that you're referring to the temperature. In which case you need to use "chilly" here.

Its freakin' cold here!

Need an apostrophe here. You're using "it is" not the possessive its.

Its not like people where I can make up nicknames on the spot

Same as above. Not the possessive its so it needs an apostrophe.

Hopefully we can all protect each other and not peck each others eyes out.

Need a comma after "hopefully" and need an apostrophe on "others" because it is possessive.

Some blonde bossy 14 year-old who keeps telling everyone what to do.

You need to have a dash between "14" and "year" just like you have it between "year" and "old".

Literally the shyest kid on the block- except her pokemon are mega friendly

Need a comma after literally.

Whats with the cloak tho?

Need an apostrophe on "what's" because it's a contraction.

Him and Kinnie should form a duo

Should be "he" since it's in the subject part of the sentence. "Him" is reserved for the predicate.

I haven't seen him actually heal anyones pokemon or injuries yet.

"Anyone's" needs an apostrophe because it is possessive.

Kindof a loner, and IDK why he's here.

"Kind of" is two words not one. You could've meant "kinda" though which is one word!

Amy- Miss Riss. Miss Priss, more like. Another blonde!

Amy's not a blonde, she's a red head. Not going to mark you off for this just letting you know. It could be you're just referring to her as an airhead or something rather than her actual hair color. But she's a red head.

Apparently has a girlfriend, and is real stuck up and boasty about it.

Should be "really" and "boastful". "Boasty" is not a word.

Its great!

Again, contraction. Needs to be "it's".

Thats all for now. Later, bro.

Same as above. Contraction. Needs to be "that's".

So a lot of this was commas and apostrophes. While I'm a bit more forgiving on the former just because commas can be weird, apostrophes are pretty straight forward in their rules. Your word choice in some places was also a bit weird but this likely could be just colloquialisms in the way Paulila talks so points won't be taken off for that.

Overall the read was entertaining. I enjoyed reading Paulila's take on everyone thus far and hope to see more from you in the future.

Unfortunately, due to the amount of easily correctable errors though, I'm going to give this a: 7/15

---

Okay @Desolate Divine here we go.

Spoiler:

which naturally peaked our interest

Wrong "peaked"! It's spelled "piqued".

To be honest though, that wasn't the thing that stood out most about that experience.

Minor thing, you need a comma after honest. Typically when you use "though" it is surrounded by punctuation.

[quote]I had broken this persons nose, and ruptured his eardrums[quote]

Need an apostrophe, it's possessive.

[quote]and that maybe the key to us returning home is tied in with Mesprit.[quote]

It should be "May be" not "maybe". Verb phrase versus adverb so easy mistake since they are similar.

To Amy, the rebellious looking, and slightly apprehensive

Need a hyphen here in between "rebellious" and "looking".

Dad had drilled into my since I was young

This should be "me" not "my". Or you could do "my head" but either way it can't just be "my".

where he gave us each a prototype for the new Poketch, however these ones had been modified to record data of wormholes that appear,

This is a super weird rule so I don't blame you for not knowing this, but whenever you use "however" in the middle of the sentence it should be "Poketch; however,". A semicolon needs to precede it and a comma always follows it. Super obscure rule though.

His home world apparently came to some sort of end

This should be one word.

He told me to ask Dad, and said "Say hi to Jacob for me."

There should be some form of punctuation after said, like a comma or a colon.

He is thirty seven

Need a hyphen between "thirty" and "seven".

These were the most noticeable errors. Your comma placement is also all over the place. There are a lot of places where you use too many commas and some places where you use too few. If I detailed all of them this post would be a lot longer. I'd recommend using something like Grammarly to check with your comma placement. Great program for stuff like that. Commas are very very very weird though so I'd not going to fault you on this since I didn't fault Lychee on it either. But if they're like this again I'll probably take off some.

Aside from the commas there were some errors that involved hyphens and spelling that could've been caught if you had given it another look over. However, given the sheer length of this piece these errors are so easy to overlook when you're proof reading, which definitely excuses them some, so I'm going to give you a 12/15.