The Last Poster Wins! [v8]

[Shiny Totodile]

If you say so...

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

???: "Digging?" That may not be the best word to describe it...More like 'removing stone from existence.' In any case...You're likely here to do more than just rescue some random guy back from near-annihilation...No, you're here to clean the place of those...Things. I don't have a name for them either.

That being said...There is a presence at the bottom of this...Hideous place that needs to be removed from existence. Now. Otherwise these things keep coming back...All of them.

Tazz:...How many are there?

???: I don't have any estimates, but I'll take a crack at it-judging by the size of the cave alone, there were about a hundred-thousand, and it is possible this isn't even the whole lot...Bluh.

Oh, yes, forgive me! Forgetting manners and all that. My name, though...Urm...My name is Teal.

*Tazz'es eyes narrow with contempt. Though it is OBVIOUS this guy is an Elder Soul at this point-or at least, HOPEFULLY obvious-and henceforth Tazz should have no direct experience...But that just means it's likely a fact that Teal did something less than moral.*

Teal: And there goes sympathy...Look, I'm not sure how you view everything, and I won't bother trying to look a hero when it could be said the opposition was a much better candidate for being called 'hero'...Let's just...Forget about that for now, OK? I do think you'll be more interested as to what...Leads these monstrosities.

Tazz: It better be worth going out of my way to get at...

[Sir Sivelos]

Well, uh... How do we get rid of this Eldritch Abomination?

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Teal: Complete annihilation of ALL physical and metaphysical aspects, all at once, AND the additional and simultaneous annihilation of a specific point where it will resurrect, often called a Bonfire-

Tazz: Dar-dar-dar-dar-darks-dark-da-sign-dark-da-dar-da-da-ddddd...Dar-*Tazz stutters some more, then*-DARKSIGN!!! DARKSIGN UNDEAD!!!

Teal: Yes, a Darksign. The Darksign Undead, the single-handed cause of the entire system and control of armageddon...Of WHAT reality their appearance destroyed, I fear it isn't to be known, and only in my worst nightmares would I even see the Darksign...However, all of these...Things...In addition to what they already are...Are also Darksign Undead. All of them. Every last one. From what I understand, it's possible to clense the Darksign if one does NOT die...Period, prior to the cleansing. And though it may-or may not-sound odd to you to hear of dying more than once...Trust me. Darksigns have a horrible curse. It's a mercy you deal to these things. Granted, they really don't deserve it, I feel their revulsion to light and natural aggresiveness were natural aspects and not a cause of the Darksign.

Tazz: OK, so...We have to oneshot that trash every time we see them until we reach the...Erm, Boss. I guess we can call it that? Darksigns f*** with everything.

Teal: The original Darksign-from what very little I've seen of her-is the matriarch of this wretched coven, a beast I call simply that-the Matriarch. As nobody bothered to give these things a name as far as I know of, I'll also call her...'brood,' well...Boarspiders. Completely lacking in imagination, but apt. They do seem to have a level of intelligence beyond mindless savagery-henceforth I doubt the Matriarch will stray far from the Bonfire, which makes annihilating her and her brood all at once easy.

Tazz: So, we just blow up everything, then...OK, I have an idea to finish off the Darksign Boarspiders when we get there, but while we get there, we're basically just going to have to one-shot them?

Teal: I don't think fancy tactics deserve much else, so yes...Of course, I haven't the faintest idea where the Matriarch is, as I really haven't left the hole since I made it. She is big, so she can't fit through small holes like this...But she is fast as long as she's going in a straight line. She won't come to us, but we'll come to her...

Tazz: I hate it when they run like that. But I don't think that'll have any bearing on our plan.

Teal: Great, now, could you-

Tazz: No I will not tell you.

Teal:...I'll just assume it doesn't involve me being used as a human bomb.

Tazz: You're making me want to.

*Teal Facepalms. Not how he wanted that to go.*...Let's just get going, then.

[Sir Sivelos]

So, basically, the more Darksign-majigs we kill, the more pop out? Jeez, this is like the time I tried fighting Undead Galligath. I wasted five days trying to kill something that was already dead...

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Tazz: Except the Darksign slooooooowly and painfully destroys memory and being and all that jazz, leaving one a guarenteed shambling corpse at the end of the day if infected, always doomed to die yet unable to really just ACTUALLY die, you know? Undead servants you can just gib. That old Zombie Plague is basically nonexistent due to easy immunity going around more than influenza...But the Darksign? Death.

Teal: That may seem mundane, but the Darksign's spread was apparently the cause of an Armageddon-I don't know the details or even when it occured, but it definitely did happen-and it did something inherently...Wrong. I believe it has something to do with souls...But...Well, very few records exist, and none are firsthand accounts. At least it's not like an airborne disease-you have to be killed very close to one of the Darksigns to die.

Tazz: Being a Darksign Undead also makes your life forces wane each time you die and corrupts the soul until you're completely...Urm, Hollowed. A huge drawback, though mitigated by the fact you DON'T lose gold or anything on death and now effectively have infinite respawns otherwise. It also makes respawning harder, as Bonfires are as rare as pure Orichalcum stones beyond the size of a speck of dust outside the mines, and nobody knows how to create your own. Oh, and the Darksign are ETERNALLY hunted. If you turn, you're going to be thrown in a cage and killed until you're totally Hollow, which typically robs one of most abilities, then thrown in another cage. If we don't just obliterate you entirely. Seriously, DO NOT GET HIT WITH THE DARKSIGN.

Teal:...In other news...The sooner the better, I say. Just give me a few seconds...

[Sir Sivelos]

No, Tazz, undead Galligath was frozen between life and death. He was essentially unkillable, though a HELL of a lot weaker than he was before. See, he was a demon lord... Oh, forget it.

Anyway, don't get hit by the Darksign. Got it.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

Teal: For all due intent and purposes, the Darksign Undead actually ARE permanently stuck between of life and death, a twisted preversion of both, defying both eternally...And more so than you'll ever realize. Or ever want to. It's best not to think too deeply of it.

*During this time, Teal put on the mask-which apparently is some kind of instant armor, as it didn't take long afterwards for a whole set of mottled-grey armor with teal highlights to appear on his skin and clothes. The mask itself is remiscient of a visage of a shark.*

Teal: Just know that you're going to have to basically unleash hell on these things. They're going to learn from any tacitcal hiccups, however slow and limited they are in that sense-so make sure they didn't die to tactical hiccups other than one: the tactical hiccup of attempting to stop us. I'd take one of those guns over there. *Points to a rock shelf where several odd guns are stored. They say 'Light Charge-UV spec.'

Tazz: Let me guess-they shoot UV-enriched light bullets, somehow?

Teal: Yes. Ultraviolet lights have adverse effects on their biology, giving them a sunburn straight from hell's forges, which is the entire reason they hate light in general-it can actually cause insane damage to their internals. Supereffective attacks, if you would...Granted, barring specific members of the horde, it really only takes one shot from a regular gun to kill any of them. That'll be for those specific members. Those aren't to be wasted on the common horde.

Tazz: Big guys, I guess? AWESOME! I like killing big things!

Teal: I had a feeling you were like that. Now then...Let's get moving.

[Sir Sivelos]

*grabs a gun* Hm. I guess buffs have no effect, again?

[Faith]

Hey guys!