The Last Poster Wins! [v8]

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Continues beating the two of them mercilessly*

...OK, onto Vyral...Hopefully the boats haven't been hired by now...

[windsagesety]

Bulbasaur, you brought this upon yourself...

[Sir Sivelos]

Yes! Onto Vyral!

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*You arrive at Vyral. However, to summarize everything: Apparently some dudes beat you to the merc ships. You leave without anything.*

...5 bucks says the Dark Writs got it first...

[Sir Sivelos]

*sighs and holds up 5 bucks* It's pretty obvious at this point.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

...OK, that aside...

...I've picked up the news from the Dulvant empire. In short: There is ONE more energy Flux indicating an Elder Soul's presence in this superdimension...So, we're going there, finding this guy, and getting out of here, because another five bucks says that this isn't the only other Superdimension there is, and another five bucks says that more Elder Souls are in more places...

...I've located the guy to be in an area called 'Brazios,' which is basically an Asteroid Field Dungeon-a place where escape is supposedly impossible without doing...Something vague. In any case, the last Elder Soul in Dulvant is in Brazios. We're getting the fleet to make a Beeline there-no stops for anything. Any questions?

[Sir Sivelos]

I'm not giving you any more five-bucks. But no, no questions.

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

OK...We're not stopping for anything, but we're trying to get there as soon as possible. I'll look over the L00T and get everything in order for a top-speed dungeon run.

[Sir Sivelos]

Ye. owo

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Aside from THE STINGER, the following pieces of worthwhile L00T are available, with their rarity and special qualities listed for convenience. Please only take two, at most:*

*-Grievance: LEGENDARY SCYTHE! STR+INT down on hit (only stacks twice per enemy)*
*-Katrina: LEGENDARY HALBERD! 3 LV. 50 HURRICANES cast with successful AOE Wind Magic cast*
*-Baal's Greatsword: LEGENDARY GREATSWORD! Inscribed upon it is this: "Nytmyr's Downfall is his Uprising." Meaning unknown. Random (infinite quality) effect if given to Overlord Demon, 1.5 Damage multiplier if given to Overlord Demon*
*-Volendrung: LEGENDARY WARHAMMER! Incredibly light for a Warhammer, combo attacks easier, additional ENG when equipped.*
*-Clean Slate: LEGENDARY GREATCLUB! All irregular effects end every 30 seconds when equipped, +5% Damage for every irregular effect removed in this manner-lasts 30 seconds. For sake of the effect, the buff it gets doesn't feed into itself. Irregular effects are any status conditions, buffs or debuffs of any variety.*
*-The-Hydra's Anticancer Bagel gun: LEGENDARY CARBINE! -90% Damage if you are not a 'Crazed The-Hydra Fanperson,' but the stats are actually kind of crazy high, even for a Legendary.*
*-Anime Girl Ray gun: LEGENDARY RAY GUN! Does not do damage-Causes the target to be infected with Anime Girl Plague. All targets will be DOMINATED and will be allied for 1 minute, during which time they get a 1.5x stat multiplier to all stats. 1% Chance of backfiring.*
*-Krakean: LEGENDARY WHIP! Auto-casts LV. 1000 SURF at the target on successful hit. Cannot harm allies. 10% Paralysis chance.*
*-The Cigar: LEGENDARY HAND-CANNON! All projectiles have the same properties of a LV. 9999 FIREBALL. LV. 9001 SMOKESCREEN auto-cast on succesful hit. Remember, smoking is bad!*
*-Metabolism: LEGENDARY ENERGY SHIELD! 100% Health Regen over Shield Recharge Rate (In other words you heal to full HP if your shields go down). Rather low shield value for it's rarity...*
*-Zeroth Class: LEGENDARY LIGHT ARMOR! causes AWESTRUCK on enemies when hit with 1-target attacks. 1.5x stat multiplier to CHA when equipped. Also incredibly fancy. There are two of these!*
*-Velvetine's Chainmail: LEGENDARY MEDIUM ARMOR! 15% chance of causing DOMINATION for 30 seconds when hit with 1-target attacks. +10% to equipment stats for ALL DOMINATED enemies you control.*
*-Onyx Elite Legionaire Armor: LEGENDARY HEAVY ARMOR! All enemies close by have OFFENSIVE stats go down by 2 stages. Juggernaut ability always active while equipped. (Juggernaut prevents knockback and grants +10% defensive stat boost per knockback absorbed in this manner. It typically only lasts a minute.) There are THREE of these bad boys!*
*-Madder-man: MYTHIC AX! 1.5x stat multiplier to all stats when equipped. Crazy-high raw stats, even for it's Mythic status. Causes Berserk upon equip, which cannot be cured whist equipped. Berserk disspells upon dequip*
*-Touch me Please: MYTHIC SHIELD! 3x stat multiplier to all defensive stats when equipped. Causes Deprave when attacked while this is equipped. Causes Deprave upon equip, which cannot be cured whist equipped. Deprave dispells upon dequip.*
*-101: MYTHIC STAFF! 4.5x stat multiplier to INT when equipped, .5x stat multiplier to INT to nearby enemies. Causes Silence upon spell use whist equipped, which cannot be cured whist equipped. Silence dispells upon dequip.*
*-Polaris Nihilo: MYTHIC TWIN HANDGUNS! 2x stat multiplier to all stats when equipped. LV. 999 POLARIS CRASH cast upon wielder every second whist equipped.*
*-'Lies' rhyme with 'eyes': MYTHIC TIGER CLAWS! 2.5x stat multiplier to all stats when equipped. Causes Invisible, Incomprehensible and Blind whist equipped, which cannot be dispelled whist equipped. All dispell upon dequip.*

*Tazz comes back* OK, I don't like how they have more ships now, but we REALLY didn't want these things going to the Dark Writs either. Some of this stuff is THE BOMB. I'm taking the Madder-Man, I have an ability that negates Berserk by being...Well, you know. I'll see if I can't do something with it...*Goes off to craft.*