The Last Poster Wins! [v8]

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*Turns to RK* That, my good lady, is exposition.

<Dark Aura generators are all the rage. Don't worry, Dark Aura is 100% safe, and won't cause any mental warping or other evil whatnot. Either way, just charge it with the Dimensional Needle or shoot it with the Pez Uzi, a physical object getting in the Generator will destroy it easily. Afterwards, keep an iron grip on those weapons, MACHOKARP will come and he will not be happy with you.>

[Sonic20]

"Right. I'll just stab this thing in-"

<OH, YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE!>

"There's machokarp."

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

*MACHOKARP appears behind S2, boasting FIVE TIMES THE TESTOSTERONE OF MISTER TOURGE FLEXINGTON, who himself has FIVE TIMES THE TESTOSTERONE OF SAXTON HALE. As a result, MACHOKARP dons a massive muscular figure, completely ripped with all muscles, and complete with iron-tough orange scales and magnificent facial whiskers, and is a colossus in comparison to S2, at least 30 feet high. He wears nothing but black swimming trunks, the kind Male Swimmers have in Pokemon Games, and has no weapons whatsoever. His MAGIKARP EYES survey the surrounding area, and a look of CONFUSION appears upon his MAGIKARP FACE.*

...WAIT A MINUTE!! WHERE AM I, WHERE IS MY PAINT MANUFACTORY, AND WHY ARE YOU ARMED WITH THAT PEZ UZI?! YOU...I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, BUT I HAVE THIS...INCREDIBLE URGE TO MURDER YOU!! ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU HAVE THAT PEZ UZI!! THAT IS LIKE POINTING A NUKE AT SOMEBODY: YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY DIABETES!!!

DROP THE PEZ UZI, GET THE F*** AWAY FROM MY MANUFACTORY, AND I'LL GIVE YOU FIRST SHOT!!

[The-Hydra]

Well Hi.

[Wander]

"OKAY WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON RIGHT NOW."

[The-Hydra]

"NOTHING"

"LOLZ"

[Wander]

"NO SERIOUSLY WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING"

WHAT IS SONIC EVEN DOING"

WHY AM I SAYING 'EVEN' A LOT"

AND WHY AM I YELLING /shot"

DAMMIT I'M STILL GETTING SHOT EVEN WHILE TALKING THROUGH WHATEVER THE HECK I'M TALKING INTO"

[The-Hydra]

Welp
You failed to make a post that impressed me

[Sonic20]

...

Yeah, how about no. *unleashes fez everywhere, specifically at machokarp's mouth*

*also uses hedgehog abilities to run really fast and dodge whatever attacks he had coming for me because he's so over muscled and slow*

[The Nonexistent Tazz]

<HI, you're currently exactly where I want you to be, unlike Sonic, who got intercepted mid-portal. directly behind you should be a hole to where you came from-it should be stable, as well. The area I want you to sweep is right in front of you. There may be hostiles in the area, and whatever it is may have a relationship to the multidimensional collapse, so feel free to interrogate. Oh, and try to look for anything that may be unraveling space-time fabric. You'll know it when you see it, and I'll keep locations posted once you've found something that look's like it's causing the multidimensional collapse. Clear out any hostiles you see, S2 has got to do the job. He's got the Dimensional Needle to repair the fabric of spacetime, Savvy?>

*Turns to TH* The portal is over there, so go in there and get all heroic.

*Meanwhile*

MACHOKARP: WHAT'S YOUR MOVE?! I'M NOT WAITING FORE- *Gets barragged by Pez, which has absolutely no effect until shots go into his mouth-then the shots go through him like paper mache, dealing severe damage. His Diabetes meter is up to 1/4th full*-GAAAAAAAAHHH!!! PEEEEEZZZZ!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!!

*MACHOKARP (LV. 1497) used LV. 99 MEGA MACHO SPLASH!! In a surprising burst of speed, MACHOKARP flings himself into the air, and does the most manly Splash in history. The ground quakes and lava bursts from the ground, all in awe of the display of SPLASHERY.*